“Pleased to meet you, Mr Barrington sir…”
“Delighted to make your acquaintance, young Master B.”
“At your service, sir…”
When the car stopped, and Barry was let out by the chauffeur, a line of men and women was there to meet him. The women were all wearing white aprons and black dresses, and the men were all dressed in suits and ties and high collars, like Peevish.
“If there’s anything I can do to make your stay more pleasant, Master…”
They were all murmuring things like that, really quietly. As Barry went past them, the men bowed and the women did a movement which involved crouching and bending their knees, like something he’d seen The Sisterly Entity do when they practised their ballet.
“Thank you,” said Barry to each of them. “Thank you very much.”
“This is our staff, Barrington. Well, your staff now,” said Lady Rader-Wellorff. She waved towards them as a group. “Cook, cleaner, pants folder, bath runner, personal bogey collector, that sort of thing.”
“Don’t be silly, Lady R-W,” said Lord Rader-Wellorff. “You know we had to sack the PBC.” He turned to Barry. “Found him eating them on the sly.”
Barry nodded, feeling a bit sick. He passed the last two members of staff, a man and a woman, who were standing with their heads down.
“If you need anything at all, Barry…” said the man in a familiar voice.
“Yes, Barry, anything… at any time,” said the woman in an even more familiar voice.
They didn’t look up. But there was something about them. In fact, they reminded Barry very much of the couple he had seen on the Parent Profiles at the Head’s office, the blurry ones. Plus, Barry could tell, just from the way they spoke, that they really meant what they said, about being there if he needed anything. This made him feel strangely warm inside, and he was about to say, “Thank you very much,” when suddenly Lady Rader-Wellorff grabbed his hand and started marching him towards the door of the house, up a series of steps. She moved her knees very far up and very far down as she walked, like Barry had seen horses do at the dressage in the Olympics. He tried to look back at the man and woman, but they just kept gazing at the ground.
Barry was shown to his room by Peevish. It took about half an hour to get there – up various enormous staircases, past hundreds of old paintings, through the West Wing and down the North Wing and round the corner of the Library.
His room was astonishing. It was, as far as Barry could make out, bigger than his entire house. In the middle was a four-poster bed, and from the windows, which were massive, you had a view of the gardens – which Peevish told him were over a hundred acres – and the Bottomley Hall lake.
Then Peevish asked Barry if he would like him to put his luggage away.
“I don’t have any,” said Barry.
Without even blinking, Peevish said: “No problem, Your Eminence.” (Peevish seemed to improvise quite a lot when it came to addressing Barry.) “We have a selection of clothes already in place for you.” He opened a very big, ornate wooden wardrobe next to him.
Barry peered into the wardrobe. Hanging inside were about twenty black suits, a hundred shirts, some ties and ten or so pairs of plus fours. Barry did not know what to say. Peevish took out one of the suits and held it up against him.
“All in your size, honourable Sir B. Specially tailored by Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson and Jackson of Savile Row.”
“The Jackson Five?” said Barry, who knew about them because his dad only listened to music from the 1970s.
Peevish looked at him as if he was a bit simple. “I suppose so, Your Heavenly Brightness.”
Then Barry was taken to meet Lord and Lady Rader-Wellorff again. He and Peevish stood outside the door of the dining room. Peevish knocked.
“Come!” barked Lord Rader-Wellorff’s voice from inside.
There was a short pause.
Peevish frowned. “What, in?” he said.
There was another short pause.
“Yaahs, of course, you big idiot!” said Lord Rader-Wellorff. “It’s time for Barrington to meet his new brothers and sisters!”