On the way to The Secretary Entity’s house – they walked there, as it was only round the corner from the Parent Agency – the two girls were clearly cross with Barry.
“Well, Barry, I mean I understand why you might want this, but I really think…” one of them was saying.
“And I think too…” said the other one.
“…that you’ve chosen the wrong parents.”
“Yes, our parents…”
“Marjorie and Malcolm Bustle…”
“Yes, Marjorie and Malcolm Bustle…”
“They are very solicitous with us.”
“Solicitous means caring. Looking after. Not neglecting.”
Barry nodded as if he’d known that. He hadn’t.
“I mean, for example, every time our daddy…”
“Malcolm Bustle.”
“Yes, Malcolm Bustle – every time he sees us, he picks us up, whirls us round and gives us a kiss.”
“Yes he does.”
Barry nodded again.
“So I just can’t see any way that they’re going to fulfil your requirements in this particular case.”
“No, I don’t see it either.”
“Perhaps the Head should have suggested some other ones.”
“Yes, perhaps he should.”
By now, they were at The Secretary Entity’s house. It was a nice-looking house: considerably nicer than the one The Sisterly Entity lived in, thought Barry. He looked around. The road it faced was leafy and quiet, with no sign of any big trucks making the houses shake.
Secretary One pressed on the button to the side of the front door.
“Hello?” said a voice.
“Dad?” said Secretary One.
“It’s us!!” said Secretary Two.
A man, who looked a bit like one of The Secretary Entity – only much taller, and older, and male – opened the door. The Secretary Entity drew themselves up to their full height, ready to be picked up, whirled about and kissed.
“Barry!!! Hello, Barry!!! We’re so pleased to see you, Barry!!” said Malcolm Bustle, picking him up, whirling him round and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“Barry! Barry! Barry! Barry! Barry! Barry! Barry!” said Marjorie Bustle (who looked like The Secretary Entity too, only taller, and older, and female), appearing behind her husband and opening her arms wide. And adding one more “Barry!” just in case.
“Nice to meet you, Malcolm and Marjorie,” said Barry, as Malcolm set him down.
“Hello, Mum!” said Secretary One.
“Hello, Dad!” said Secretary Two.
“Do come in, Barry,” said Malcolm. Barry went through the door.
Which Marjorie then shut, leaving The Secretary Entity on the doorstep.
“So, Barry,” said Marjorie. “Lovely to meet you. I—”
There was a tap-tap-tap noise from behind them. They looked round. The letterbox was flapping up and down. Then it flapped up and stayed there.
Barry could just about see two pairs of little-girl eyes peeping through the slot.
“Mum?”
“Dad?”
“Um… you seem… ha ha… to have locked us out…”
“Accidentally, of course!”
“Oh yes, of course.”
“Barry?” said Marjorie. “Sorry to bother you, but… can you hear a noise?”
“Hmm…” said Barry. “You mean a kind of… annoying buzzing sound? Like some trapped flies?”
“Um… yes,” said Malcolm.
“Oh!” said Barry. “I think it might be these two.” He opened the door again. The Secretary Entity were standing on the doorstep, smiling and waving.
“Hi, Mum!”
“Hi, Dad!”
Malcolm and Marjorie didn’t say anything in reply.