CHAPTER 22:
FACING FEAR

 

Wade picked up a book Fawn had left on the coffee table: The Ancient Ones: Anasazi. He opened to her bookmark: Chapter Four: Chaco Canyon, and grinned. Following the aroma of coffee, he entered the kitchen to find Fawn and Zoe staring into a large mixing bowl. Zoe rushed to retrieve the cookbook from the kitchen table and bring it to Fawn. Fawn read something and reached for a container on the spice rack, sprinkling their latest creation.

"Okay Zoe, I'm ready to put this in the oven."

Zoe clapped her hands in excitement and glanced at her father. "We're making quichy lorie…loran…"

Wade smiled at his daughter's efforts to pronounce the recipe.

"Quiche Lorraine Delight," Fawn supplied happily, as she gently poured the contents of the mixing bowl into a ceramic casserole dish.

Wade chuckled. "Uh oh, Pierre better watch out. The hands might start eating in our kitchen."

Zoe rolled her eyes.

Fawn winked at him. "Zoe and I have decided to expand our breakfast palette beyond boxed cereal."

Wade scuffed his daughter's head. "You don't know how happy that makes me. I was hoping Zoe's fondness for processed food was only a passing fancy." He reached for the coffee pot and poured himself a cup, but instead of leaving for the barn he sat at the kitchen table and patted his leg, "Zoe, come sit on your papa's lap."

Zoe gave him a surprised look and hesitant smile. Shyly she approached and he lifted her onto his lap.

"You're almost too big for this." He kissed the top of her head. Directing his attention at Fawn, he said, "I saw your book about the Anasazi. Are you enjoying it?"

"Very much. Such a fascinating culture."

"I opened to your bookmark about Chaco Canyon in New Mexico. How does your ankle feel?"

Fawn looked confused at the sudden change in topic. "It's as good as new."

"Wonderful. How would you like to go to Chaco Canyon?"

Zoe squealed and said, "Yes! Let's go!"

Wade kissed the top of her head again and glanced up at Fawn. "It's about three hours away and since it's Saturday, we could make a day of it. Wander the ruins, take snack food, find a café to eat lunch at." Wade held his breath waiting for her answer.

Fawn shifted her eyes to Zoe. "I think that's a terrific idea. How soon do you want to leave?"

Wade released his breath. "If we leave by eight, we'll arrive before noon. We can eat on the way and then wander the ruins for a few hours."

Fawn grinned. "This is going to be fun."

***

With downcast eyes, Fawn glanced sideways at Wade. He'd forgone his chambray shirt in favor of a beige T-shirt and his tanned forearms, lightly dusted with dark hair, called attention to corded muscles gained, no doubt, from wrestling cows and handling horses. Fawn's heart started pounding and although she chastised herself for her reaction, she couldn't stop her surreptitious glances or slow her heart rate. You are not falling for this guy.

True to his word, Wade had stopped at a lovely café in Farmington, New Mexico, and the three of them had laughed and joked over a delightful meal of tacos, enchiladas, rice and beans. Their jokes had consisted mainly about the Quiche Lorraine Delight from breakfast. Instead of being plump and flaky, it had sunk like a deflated balloon. When Wade had entered the kitchen and spotted the poor thing atop the stove, his attempt at keeping a straight face had been priceless. With mock seriousness, he'd said, "I guess we're eating cereal this morning." Fawn smiled at the memory.

"What are you smiling about?" asked Wade.

"The Quiche Lorraine."

He laughed and then returned his attention to an upcoming junction in the road. Turning off the highway he repeated the words on a sign, "Twenty-one miles to the park."

After several miles the pavement ended and the road became a rough gravel one. Fawn glanced out her window at desertscrub stretching across the valley floor to sandstone mesas and gently rolling hills in the distance.

"Not much rain falls here," Wade stated the obvious.

"The Anasazi certainly had to be innovative to overcome nature's challenges," she replied.

"I've read some books on the culture, and you're right. A thousand years ago a thriving and complex culture had learned to inhabit this harsh land."

Zoe pointed. "Look, Daddy, there's a building."

"It's the Visitor Center. We'll go inside to get maps and brochures."

When they reached the center, Fawn and Zoe held hands as they walked across the parking lot. The lovely complex had signs advertising a museum, gift shop, theater, and book store. In the gift shop, Wade told Fawn and Zoe to pick out any souvenir they wanted. Fawn started to decline his offer, but his determined look, along with a slight shake of his head, made her realize the futility of refusing his gift, so she graciously accepted. Zoe picked out a replica of an Anasazi beaded necklace and Fawn selected a small clay replica of a kiva, the ceremonial site housing the sipapu.

After paying for their gifts, they stepped back outside and Wade opened the map he'd purchased. He walked to a picnic table to spread it out. "The sales clerk told me it takes at least forty-five minutes to explore each site." He pointed to a spot on the map. "And it looks like the trail for the first site starts over there." He pointed toward a corner of the parking lot.

Zoe clapped her hands.

Fawn read from the brochure she'd picked up at the gift shop. "It's called Una Vida and translates, One Life."

Zoe pointed at the map. "What are pet…ro…gl…" She tried to pronounce the word.

"You've almost got it. The word is petroglyphs, and they're drawings scratched into rocks."

Wade gestured across the parking lot. "Ready?" He folded the map and tucked it in his back pocket. As they headed toward the trailhead, Zoe reached for Fawn's hand and then her dad's, skipping between them. When they reached the trail, Wade took the lead up a natural rise. At the top they paused while Fawn read from her brochure. "Una Vida is a Chacoan 'great house', a large pre-planned multi-storied building made of sandstone blocks and mud." She laughed. "I guess you could say great houses were apartment buildings."

Zoe asked, "But where are the rock drawings?"

Wade pointed. "We follow the trail to the other side of Una Vida and then walk up that slope."

Zoe skipped ahead of them.

"She's really enjoying this," said Wade.

"Yes, it was a great idea. Thank you for bringing us." Fawn glanced sideways at him and her heart skipped when his friendly gaze captured hers. Quickly, she glanced away and raced to catch up with Zoe. Following the path toward the petroglyphs, she tried to focus on anything but the way Wade made her feel.

At the petroglyphs Zoe pointed to different etchings. "It looks like they were trying to draw animals and people. When we get home, I'm going to draw a picture on a rock like that. How would I do it, Daddy?"

Wade ruffled his daughter's corkscrew blond curls. "You'd have to use a sharp rock to scratch the surface, but I think we can set you up with watercolors and a paintbrush."

After returning to the parking lot of the Visitor Center they drove to their next destination, Hungo Pavi. Fawn opened her brochure and gave the highlights while they walked the path. "This trail is a quarter mile roundtrip. It's not known what the interpretation of the words Hungo Pavi are. It was named by a Mexican guide on an expedition in 1849. These ruins are also considered to be a 'great house'."

After leaving Hungo Pavi, they drove to the next ruin, Chetro Ketl. Again, Fawn read items of interest and gave the specifics while they walked. "This trail is half a mile and Chetro Ketl is the second largest 'great house'. Wow, it covers more than three acres."

After traversing several steep rises, they finally reached the ruins and Fawn shared more of what she had read. "The construction of Chetro Ketl began around 945 A.D. and contained over five hundred rooms and twelve kivas. There's also a 'great kiva' in the central courtyard. The back wall was five hundred feet long and the building had five stories. The lower rooms were used for storage and the upper rooms were living quarters."

Wade pointed to the cliffs behind Chetro Ketl. "Look at the stairs carved into the cliffs. Just think…" He stopped talking when he saw Fawn's face.

Fawn was looking at Zoe. The child had gone ashen and she held her hands over her ears.

Wade looked at his daughter. "No, not now," he groaned.

Fawn rushed to Zoe. She could see the child was trying to dispel her fear, but her effort wasn't successful and she shrieked once before Fawn knelt in front of her. "It's okay, honey. Remember what I taught you. Listen for the pretty voice. It's there."

"No! They're all ugly and loud!"

Wade squatted beside Zoe and Fawn.

"Make them go away!" Zoe begged.

Wade looked at Fawn with a helpless expression.

Instinct told Fawn that now was the time for Zoe to face her demons, because if she didn't, they would control her for life. Making a decision she grabbed the child's hand and ignored the signs warning them to stay on the trail. Intent on reaching the sipapu, she pulled Zoe toward the great kiva. Zoe dug her heels into the earth and screamed, "No! No! The voices are getting louder."

Fawn bodily picked up Zoe and continued toward her destination. She felt Wade's hand on her shoulder. "What are you doing?" He started to lift Zoe from her arms.

Fawn jerked away from him. "If you want your child whole, she must face the voices."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Fawn pleaded with Wade with her eyes. "Trust me, Wade."

For a breathless minute, she thought he would grab Zoe from her arms and return to the car. Instead, he said, "I'll carry her and follow you."

Fawn mouthed the words, "Thank you."

When Zoe realized her father's intent she started kicking and trying to free herself from him.

"We need to reach the sipapu," said Fawn, and pointed inside the great kiva. She started forward and Wade followed with Zoe struggling to get away. They reached the kiva and stepped down into it. Without hesitation Fawn led the way to the sipapu. Turning to Wade, she held her arms out to receive Zoe. Although he appeared uncertain, he placed the squirming child in her arms. Fawn sat beside the sipapu and Zoe put her fingers in her ears wailing, "Stop! Stop! Stop!"

Fawn placed her mouth close to Zoe's ear. "Listen for the pretty voice. She wants to tell you something wonderful. Her voice is more important than the others. She's been trying to tell you something special. I think it's something the other voices don't want you to know. That's why they're so loud. But you don't have to listen to them. They're not important."

Fawn continued speaking in a calm voice, saying the same things over and over. Eventually, Zoe stopped crying and laid her tear stained face against Fawn's shoulder. She removed first one finger, and then the other, out of her ears. Wade squatted nearby silently watching.

Zoe raised her head and looked hesitantly at the sipapu. In a voice so quiet her words were almost unintelligible she said, "They're afraid."

"Afraid of what, Zoe?"

"The Prince."