30
The Great Escape
There’s a point of no return in many relationships at which things become so toxic that absence, at least for a time, is the kindest solution for yourself (and others). Knowing that point, knowing when it’s time to leave, is something we spend our whole life trying to learn. Because actually, it’s a measure of how much you know and value yourself. When you left Elena, it also meant leaving the two men you loved. It is a measure of how much you valued yourself and your own sanity to have made such a huge decision.
Truly, that was the first time that you’d been forced to put yourself before others. And for that alone, you should be grateful for the experience. Until it happened, you had an amazing capacity to tolerate intolerable behaviour, so much so that you let yourself be trampled on again and again. Had you expressed your boundaries? Naturally not: you didn’t even know them, let alone how to express them.
Many people, those with better self-esteem, wouldn’t have let it get this far. But because your self-esteem was so low, it took an enormous amount of mistreatment for you to leave. Nevertheless, I can safely say that this was your turning point. Without this, you would have remained in your state of feeling worthless…maybe for your entire life. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the shift needed to overcome it. Leaving two men you loved hurt almost worse than anything you’d ever known.
This was the first time in this entire story that you’d done the right thing for yourself. The adult thing. So it’s not really surprising that you not only started to feel better, but also inspired the events that followed. Morten left Elena, while Gilles committed to her. You all started to work your way to a brighter future. All your mistakes, all your lessons brought you here. You did this. You finally found the key to shift your paradigm.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: after breakdown comes breakthrough.
Love and accept yourself with all your humanity. It is the key to everything.