Each step toward the cement block building eased the pressure on Gwen’s chest. She quickened her pace. Once inside the store, the weight of Xander and Vlad’s stare on her would lessen too. She’d have a few minutes of peace.
The thought tore a crazed laugh from her. According to Xander, her presence was enough to calm him. If the way she’d reacted in the SUV was any indicator, the same didn’t apply to her.
“Being in an SUV full of dominant shifters can be overwhelming.” Lena fell into step with her.
“Yes.” Gwen couldn’t say more than that. Explaining why Xander and Vlad’s outburst had upset her wasn’t an option.
Honestly, she wasn’t sure she’d want to. She loved her sister. That didn’t mean they were close. Certain topics had always been off-limits. Vlad had been one of them.
Lena might’ve suspected that Gwen found Vlad attractive, but she didn’t know the extent of her fascination or how Gwen had been saving her virginity for him. No way would she ever admit that. Or how sharing her first sexual encounter with Xander had felt like a betrayal to Vlad.
Then again, she and Xander technically hadn’t had intercourse. There was still a chance to be with…
“Oh God.” Guilt wrapped around her at the thought of cheating on Xander. He was her mate, whether love bound them or necessity. She pressed a shaky hand to her chest, right over her heart. The pain centered there stole her breath. “I need to use the bathroom.”
“Are you okay?” Concern edged Lena’s voice. She laid a hand on Gwen’s arm.
“Carsick.” Gwen shrugged off Lena’s touch before Xander assumed she was feeling too weak to walk and came after her. “I’m not used to being in the back.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” Gwen hurried through the door Lena held open.
“I’ve never had a problem in Devin’s SUV, and I’ve always been sensitive to car sickness. His SUV is the biggest, most luxurious model money can buy. It drives like a high-end sedan.” The door shut behind them.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest it wasn’t nice,” Gwen quickly added.
Lena smiled warmly as if she knew Gwen’s faux pas hadn’t been intentional. “And expensive. I like cars, but for what we paid for it, we could’ve gotten matching sports cars or a boat. He’d insisted on the monstrous thing, though, saying it was the safest SUV out there, and he didn’t want me driving in anything else.”
Gwen frowned. “But you’re immor—”
Lena squeezed Gwen’s hand, stopping her words, and tipped her head toward the clerk and the older man at the register. The silent reminder not to talk about shifter secrets in public felt like a slap in the face—a well-deserved one. Gwen knew better.
“I…umm…” Gwen rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “I mean—”
“He worries. He doesn’t want to ever see me hurt, whether it’s a paper cut or something more. It makes me feel loved and cherished.” Lena grabbed a basket from the stack next to the door. “I’m going to pick up a few things while you go to the bathroom. I usually shop at the grocery store on the other side of town, but since we’re here, I’ll get the necessities and save myself a trip.”
“You’re not going to follow me in?”
“There’s nobody here.” Lena waved her hand to encompass the empty store. “We’re fine, but if you want me to, I will. I’d personally rather not leave those men alone for too long. Goodness knows what will happen.”
Gwen didn’t want to think about that scenario either. “Okay. I’ll meet you outside when I’ve got myself together.”
Lena stared at her a long moment, then nodded. “I’ll stall them as long as I can.”
“Thanks.” Gwen grinned.
Maybe they weren’t as close as sisters should be, but Lena knew how much Gwen disliked being the center of attention. That scene in the SUV had dropped her right in the limelight.
She’d better get used to it, though. Once Xander announced their bond, the spotlight would be back on her. She couldn’t help but wonder what his pack would think. Likely, they’d disapprove. Xander had mentioned his pack had chosen breeding partners carefully to maintain their pack’s strength. No doubt they’d look at her and think he could’ve done better. He might even lose their respect. He’d said how important that was to maintain. If he did fall from their graces, would they ask him to step down? Or maybe forcibly oust him in a challenge?
Another thought took hold. Vlad had hinted at claiming his role in the pack. Although he could’ve been referring to anything, he could be alpha if he wanted it. He was strong enough to fight Xander for it. If he did, only one contender walked away from a challenge alive.
She stumbled, the thought of losing either of them to death stealing her breath and constricting her chest. The agony intensified, as if someone were ripping her in half. It wasn’t as if she’d never experienced pain before. She had, several times. Knew exactly how it felt to have her muscles torn and bones broken. This soul-wrenching agony was different. More intense.
She bit her lip to stop from crying out. Lena would come over. Gwen didn’t want her sister to see her like this—so weak, tears blurred her vision and her limbs trembled.
“Are you okay?”
The young clerk’s concerned voice yanked her gaze to him. She blinked until his baby face came in to view. “Yes. I’m fine. My heartburn’s acting up.”
He stared at her, clearly unsure what to say.
“Where’s the bathroom?” she asked, saving them both from the awkward moment.
“We don’t have a public restroom.” He tapped the piece of paper taped to the glass countertop that said the same thing.
“But I might throw up. You don’t want to clean that, do you?”
“The pizza shop next door has one.”
The moment she stepped outside, Xander or Vlad would be there, waiting for her. She’d have to watch them argue again. Another sharp pain pierced her. She choked on bile.
“Please.” She pressed the heel of her palm against her heart. “I don’t want my boyfriend to see me like this. I’m pregnant. That’s why my heartburn is bothering me, but he doesn’t know it. He can’t.” She leaned closer and lowered her voice. “It’s not his.”
The lie rolled off her tongue with ease. At one point in her life, telling any fib would’ve bothered her, but that had been before she’d had to say and do whatever necessary—including committing murder—to protect Molly.
“Oh, geez.” The teenager scrubbed a hand down his face. “Go through there.” He pointed to the door behind him. “Straight across the stockroom to the door on the other side. It leads to the kitchen. If someone stops you, tell them Mikey sent you over.”
“Thank you.” She hurried around the counter, not bothering to look for Lena. She could follow her if she wanted, but Gwen needed to use the bathroom. She hadn’t been kidding about being nauseated.
She hurried through the cramped room and slipped into the pizza shop’s kitchen. An older lady frowned at her sudden appearance.
“Bathroom,” Gwen blurted.
The woman pointed. “At the back of the dining room.”
“Thank you.”
Gwen hurried through the restaurant. A few people glanced her way, but she avoided eye contact. She didn’t want anyone’s concern. She needed to get to the bathroom before she embarrassed herself even more by throwing up. The door marked with the universal women’s restroom symbol, a faceless stick figure wearing a skirt, loomed ahead of her.
Her chest burning and stomach roiling, she stumbled into the bathroom. She grabbed the sink, turned the water on, and splashed some on her face. The cold blast eased the pain some. Deep breaths calmed the churning in her stomach. She gripped the counter’s edge and hung her head.
The water poured from the faucet, splattering cool droplets on her knuckles. She didn’t bother turning it off or moving. She couldn’t. Dizziness made the room spin. Her toes tingled, and her muscles twitched. Her hold on the counter was the only thing stopping her from falling over.
Maybe she wasn’t as healed as she’d thought. But really? What did she expect? She’d been shot yesterday. Paralyzed. The bullet had cut through her larynx and lodged in her spine. Dante had picked the mangled piece of metal off the floor and handed it to her, telling her to keep it as a reminder of Xander’s sacrifice for her.
She slid her hand into her pocket, feeling for the misshapen object. Her finger bumped the lumpy piece. She breathed a sigh of relief. She didn’t want to lose the bullet or forget the path her life had taken.
A creak sounded. Someone was coming in here. She didn’t want anyone seeing her like this—too weak to function.
She eased away from the counter. Her knees buckled. She gasped, but never hit the ground. Thin but strong arms wrapped around her from behind, saving her from the fall.
“Lena?” Her sister must’ve followed Gwen in after all.
“No. I’m Hannah.” The smooth, lazy edge to the woman’s rich voice surrounded Gwen, urging her to match Hannah’s calmer state.
On a deep inhale, Gwen did exactly that, shoving her anxiety deep. Gripping the counter for dear life, she pulled herself up and glanced over her shoulder. The small woman who’d stopped her tumble was shorter than Lena but not as delicate or thin. Power and strength radiated from Hannah, but with her full curves, deep blue eyes, and black hair, she likely drew as many men to her as Lena did.
Gwen shrugged off those thoughts before the bitterness that had choked her life for years over her inability to capture a certain wolf shifter’s attention surfaced. “Thank you for saving me, Hannah.”
“No need to thank me…”
Hannah’s expectant pause demanded a response.
“Gwen.”
Hannah rested her small hand on Gwen’s arm and turned concerned eyes on her. “I followed you in here because you didn’t look well. I’m glad I did. You’re obviously not feeling okay, are you?”
That was an understatement. “I’ve been better.”
“Do you need me to call somebody for you? Or help you home?”
Gwen shook her head and instantly regretted it. The room spun, but Hannah’s hand never left Gwen’s arm. The touch grounded her. She breathed shallowly until Hannah’s pinched features came into view.
“No. I’m fine. Really. Just light-headed. It’s to be expected.”
“It is?” Curiosity laced the question.
Continuing the lie she’d told the clerk, she nodded slowly. “Yes. I’m pregnant. Eleven weeks.”
Hannah’s brows raised in disbelief. She swept her gaze over Gwen, lingering on her belly before meeting her eyes. “And you’re eleven weeks along?”
“Yes.”
“Isn’t the baby’s heart beating by that point?”
“Babies. I’m having twins.” That was most common for Royals.
“Twins?” Hannah’s eyes widened more. “That is exciting, but are you sure?”
Gwen glanced at the floor as longing skipped through her. Twins would be fun. She could dress them alike. Hold one in each arm. Drive herself nuts chasing after them once they got older. She wanted to experience it all. If she could conceive Xander’s babies, anyway. At least in this fantasy she was spinning she could. “Yes. I just left the doctor’s office where I got to hear their heartbeats for the first time.”
In a quick move that tore a gasp from Gwen’s throat, Hannah squatted, then pressed her ear to Gwen’s belly.
“What are you doing?” Gwen pushed at Hannah’s shoulders but couldn’t budge the other woman.
On a derisive sound, Hannah stood, then leaned against the wall opposite the sink and crossed her arms over her chest. “Lying is not very becoming, Gwen. It’s also incredibly stupid to do around other shifters. If you were pregnant, I’d be able to hear your babies’ heartbeats. And if you’d lost them in the past few hours, my wolf would’ve sensed their death on you too.”
Gwen inhaled sharply and inched away from the shifter female eyeing her with disdain. At the door, Gwen reached for the handle. Her knees gave out.
Hannah was there, catching Gwen before she hit the floor. Gently, she helped Gwen into a sitting position, then grabbed the edge of Gwen’s jacket and tugged, exposing her mate bite. Gwen slapped a hand over the raised scar, but it was too late. Her secret was out, and this shifter knew it.
“How long ago were you mated? Or are you going to lie about that too?” Hannah challenged Gwen with her focused gaze.
Gwen tried to count the hours, but the events since leaving the snowy cabin where she’d been shot ran together. “I don’t know. More than twelve hours but less than a day. Sixteen, maybe?”
“Less than a day?” Shock raised Hannah’s voice. “No wonder you’re dizzy. What are you doing walking around?” Hannah glanced at the bathroom door. “And why aren’t your mates coming in here? Don’t they care you’re in pain?”
“Mate, not mates. And he wouldn’t feel my pain. We’re not mated completely. He doesn’t own a piece of my soul, so he can’t feel me.” Gwen sighed. There was no point hiding anything. She only hoped Xander wouldn’t be too angry with her for spilling the details. It wasn’t as if she had any other choice. “Please don’t tell anyone. I’m supposed to keep this a secret. He doesn’t want his pack to know about me.”
Hannah squeezed the bridge of her nose. “He mated you to save your life, didn’t he? Not because he loved you and planned the mating.”
“Yes, I’m his true mate, though. We would’ve gotten to this point eventually, anyway.” Of course, being his true mate hadn’t been enough the last two times their paths crossed.
“I’d assumed. It’s impossible for a shifter to mate a human who isn’t his true mate. Our animals won’t want to waste our only chance to breed on a partner they view as weak.”
A noose tightened around Gwen’s chest, and her stomach dropped at the implication of Hannah’s words. The short blip of the memory Xander had shared with her of his wedding night to Elizabeth flashed before Gwen’s eyes. He’d been about to reveal his thoughts on why he’d married Elizabeth instead of mating her. Was this the reason? He’d viewed Elizabeth as too weak to bother mating.
“And it’s not like we can force our animal to give a piece of its soul away,” Hannah went on. “I’d imagine it’s even more difficult for Royals with three animals. Each might want something different, but they all have to agree.”
“Xander’s wolves have to give me a piece of their souls?” He hadn’t mentioned that. What if they were the ones who viewed her as unworthy?
“Ah.” Hannah nodded. “Look, maybe your mate should be the one telling you this.”
“No. You’re here. Please, tell me.” Because if it was something bad, there was a chance the facts might get twisted or kept from her. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d been left in the dark. Her parents, Lena, and Vlad had done so where Molly was concerned, thinking to spare her the horrid details of her little sister’s past. How she’d been tortured and experimented on. How she’d been turned into an anomaly. How she was feared. The lack of information had only made things worse.
“A complete mating, as you call it, is soul-bonding. It’s a meshing of souls—his, yours, and his wolves. That’s the only way to guarantee you’ll stay together for eternity.” Hannah linked her fingers, as if she were praying. “Our souls are like our own personal sun. If we give a piece away, it leaves a hole.” She widened her hands, forming a space between her palms. “Until we take a piece of our mate’s soul to fill the hole, we’re not complete. Some shifters prefer it that way. If their mate dies, they won’t die too. They’ll just live out their life with that hole in their soul.”
On a weary sigh, Hannah leaned against the base of the sink and propped her arm on her bent knee. A large diamond ring dominated her small hand. “And I hate being the one to tell you this, but unless Xander soul-bonds with you, you’ll live out your human life, then die while he lives forever.”
“And he’ll be alone.” Who would calm his wildness? Or give him peace?
Hannah studied her. “You want the ugly truth? Or something to pacify you.”
“The truth.” Gwen had endured enough hand-holding to last her an eternity.
“Not alone. He’ll take other lovers.” Hannah nibbled on her lip, a pained look on her features. “Maybe even while you’re still alive.”
“Excuse me?” This woman didn’t know Xander. How could she assume he’d cheat on her? “How dare you say that? Your assumption is unfounded and cruel.”
Hannah held up a hand. “I don’t mean for it to be. You asked for the truth. I’m telling you what I know of shifter males. For those who aren’t soul-bonded, monogamy is rare, even while their mates are alive. For females, though, it’s expected.” Hannah shrugged. “Sucks, I know. Such is shifter culture. Our males are possessive of what belongs to them.”
Xander had already hinted at the latter when he mentioned their mating laws. At the thought of Xander with other women, however, a dark, dangerous emotion slithered through Gwen.
He’d given her a piece of his soul. He was hers. She wasn’t sharing him with anyone else, but in the end, it didn’t matter what she wanted. She’d seen enough failed relationships, including Lena and Vlad’s, to know that commitments only worked when love was involved. Lust and ownership meant little in the long haul.
“Oh.” Gwen didn’t know what else to say, but the awkward silence demanded she respond.
“I know, I know.” Hannah rolled her eyes. “Some of our laws are ridiculous, which is why in the human world, I’m married to one of my mates, but in the shifter world, I’m mated to the other.”
Gwen gasped and covered her mouth to stifle the sound. “You’re the Jager alpha’s mate?”
Hannah smiled. “I’m Hannah Reynolds-Jager. My mates are Ethan Jager, alpha of the Jager pack, and Noah Reynolds, our top dominant.”
“Gwen?” Lena’s muffled voice sounded panicked.
“We’re in the bathroom,” Hannah called out. She hefted Gwen to her feet and fixed her clothes, hiding Gwen’s mate bite, then steadied her with a hand at her waist.
The bathroom door flew open. Lena glanced from Gwen to Hannah. “Oh shit.”
Hannah laughed. “Well, you’re in the right place for that.”
Lena smiled and shut the door behind her. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Gwen and I were just talking.”
“Well…this is a bit awkward.” Lena cleared her throat. “I know introductions between neighboring shifter groups should be done formally, not in the bathroom of a pizza shop. Please know they were planning on it, but their alpha hasn’t gotten the chance to do so.”
“Oh.” Hannah cocked a brow and shot Gwen a questioning look. “Gwen hadn’t mentioned that her male’s pack was moving here.”
“Actually, the Winchester pack has been living here for as long as the Alexander pride has been here,” Lena said on a sigh.
“And they didn’t think to introduce themselves?” Hannah’s eyes narrowed and her voice hardened. “That could be means for starting a pack war.”
“I know. It wasn’t intentional. Their alpha has been absent for several months.” Lena glanced over her shoulder at the door. “He’s home now, and if we don’t get outside soon, Xander is going to barge in here.”
“Xander?” Hannah’s scowl faded, amusement replacing the irritated look. She grinned. “Then we should go outside so I can invite the alpha of the Winchester pack to our home for dinner.”