‘I didn’t think you were coming.’ Freddie stood as Veronica hurried into the hut. ‘I was worried I hadn’t made my message particularly clear to Anna.’
Veronica was flushed from almost galloping down the cliff steps. ‘You did. I’m so sorry. I got held up.’
‘Not by Bertie?’ He looked at her with a worried expression on his face.
‘No, no. He’s still out. I didn’t see him this morning,’ Veronica said. ‘Did you? Did he mention his actions last night? He denied it, I’m sure. Denied all knowledge. It’s his usual way.’
‘He’d gone by the time I was dressed, so I’ve no idea. I tell you, I was ready to have it out with him, Veronica. I was ready to kill him. He has to be stopped.’
‘Not by us. Not by you. He’s your brother.’
‘It doesn’t mean anything. Not anymore.’ Freddie brushed her comment aside.
‘You’re wrong, Freddie. It means everything. He’s not doing this to you. He’s doing this to me and he won’t be doing it for much longer.’
Freddie nodded and moved towards her, smiling a sad smile that made his eyes crinkle and a dimple crease in his cheek.
Veronica forced herself to move away from him when all she really wanted to do was kiss him and run her fingers through his hair, pulling him close to her. She shook her head and strengthened her resolve.
‘Freddie, you must listen to me. I can’t do this. Not with you. I want to. Please understand that I want to.’
Freddie’s face fell. ‘What?’
‘I can’t go with you tomorrow,’ she said. ‘I’m not mad enough to refuse your offer of help. I won’t take your money, but I will borrow it, please. I need to set up somewhere new, somewhere far away from here – so far away that Bertie will never think to find me. Some highland village will probably do the trick. I’m going to take a different name. It’s easy enough to pretend that I’ve been bombed out and get papers in a new name. If Bertie is to be believed, this war is wreaking havoc with paperwork.’ Veronica realised she was going off on a tangent. ‘But I can’t go with you,’ she said.
Freddie raised an eyebrow. ‘Why ever not?’ his voice was flat.
‘Because I love you,’ she said. ‘Because I love you and I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to bring you with me on this … this fool’s errand. I can run from Bertie. I can blend in and hide easily. But you … I don’t think it’s possible for both of us to do that.’
‘You think I’m going to be in your way?’ He stepped forward. ‘Veronica, we can do this. We can do this together. I won’t be in your way.’
She grabbed his hands and held them within hers, pleading with him to understand. ‘No, that’s not it. Not even close. You won’t be in my way. I’ll be in yours. Don’t you see that?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I can’t ask you to come with me. I can’t ask you to leave behind your life, your friends. I can’t ask you to hide for the rest of your life, which you will have to do if we are ever going to stand a chance of outrunning Bertie. And if Bertie finds us together, it will be far worse than if he just finds me alone. He’ll work hard to ruin your life as well as mine. He won’t hesitate. I just know it. I can’t ask you to sacrifice everything for me.’
Freddie closed his eyes, clearly exasperated. ‘My God, you’re impossible.’
Veronica raised her eyebrows.
‘You don’t get it, do you?’ he continued. ‘After all this time. After all these years? Was I not clear yesterday? Do you still not understand that I love you? You aren’t asking me to sacrifice anything. What am I giving up exactly? Bertie? He’s nothing to me. Not now. Not anymore. He’s lost to me. He’s lost to himself. He deserves to be alone. He doesn’t deserve you and he doesn’t deserve me. I can easily overlook the things he’s done to me over the years. I don’t care about any of that now. I really don’t. But what he’s done to you. My blood boils. I want to kill him. I’m coming with you, Veronica, because I love you. Because I’ve always loved you. I lost you once already. I won’t lose you again. I won’t. If running together is the only way we can be together, then I’ll take it.’
She frowned.
‘What’s wrong now?’ he asked.
‘Don’t do this because you think I need saving.’ She spoke quietly. ‘I don’t need saving. I can save myself.’
She was still holding his hands tightly within hers and he slowly manoeuvred one hand away from her grip. He touched her gently on the cheek. ‘I want you, Veronica. I want you forever. I’m not saving you.’ He tucked a stray roll of her auburn hair back in to place. ‘You’re saving me.’
They stood looking at each other, drinking each other in until Freddie bent his head slowly and closed his eyes, kissing her softly and then deeper until she thought she was losing her mind. Freddie loved her and he still wanted to run away with her, even though she’d given him a way out of this madness. Her heart swelled. She couldn’t be without him. She knew that now. She had no idea how she’d existed, these past few years. She would love him until her dying breath.
Veronica pulled back from his intense kiss and looked up into his eyes, conveying everything he meant to her with one desperate expression. She couldn’t stop herself. She wanted him. She’d wanted him before, when they were first stepping out, all those years ago, but he’d been too much of a gentleman to attempt anything.
‘Are you sure?’ he asked, his eyes reading hers. ‘Because if you’re not, we don’t have to—’
‘Yes,’ she breathed. She’d never been so sure of anything in her life. She moved her hands slowly to his shirt, undoing it and running her fingers across his chest until she uncovered his wound; red and white skin raised at the edges from the surgeon’s efforts to remove the bullet. How close had he come to death? she wondered. And she’d had no idea about any of what he’d been through, no idea he’d been away fighting, no idea he had even been in danger. The wound was larger than she had expected it to be and she touched the skin around it softly with her fingertips. Freddie moaned and Veronica sprang back. ‘Does it hurt?’ she asked.
‘No,’ he said, clearly struggling to control himself. He took her hand in his and kissed it.
She started to move quickly, frenziedly, pulling at his clothes with him until he was down to his underwear. His taut body shocked her, or rather the effect it was having on her shocked her. She had thought that part of her had died long ago. She helped him with the small pearl buttons on her shirt as he fumbled over them and then discarded her green skirt. Hurriedly, she stepped out of her clothes and kicked them aside until she was wearing only her stockings and slip. He stood back and looked at her, failing to recover his breath.
‘Bloody hell,’ he murmured. ‘You’re so beautiful.’
She shivered in the cold wind that whipped through the beach hut and he pulled her close to him, kissing her. Slowly, he picked her up and lifted her onto the daybed, pulling the covers over them for warmth as he made love to her slowly. He watched her face intently. Through her gasps, she could see his worry.
‘You aren’t hurting me,’ she whispered.
He nodded. ‘I don’t want to be like him. I don’t want to hurt you,’ he whispered as he stopped moving.
‘You are nothing like him,’ Veronica said, holding his face in her hands.
‘I love you,’ he said between gasps of breath as their bodies moved in time again.
‘I love you,’ she returned, her chest rising and falling in quick succession as she looked up into his eyes.
They lay together for a while afterwards. Veronica, in a haze of euphoria she had never felt before, wrapped her arms around Freddie and stared up at the ceiling through strands of his silky dark hair that had fallen over her eyes. She pushed it away and stroked it back into place, enjoying the feel of it between her fingers. His cologne was intoxicating and she closed her eyes, breathing it in, breathing him in, never wanting to let him go.
He held himself up on his elbows and gazed down at her. Veronica was so happy, she could cry. Instead, she smiled broadly and a small laugh escaped her lips.
‘You have no idea how much I love you, Freddie Standish, how much I’ve missed you.’