WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?
Answer these 22 questions and we’ll tell you what brings you joy. On a separate piece of paper, the back of your hand, or the back of someone else’s hand, keep track of how many A, B, C, and D answers you have.
1. How do you like to start your day?
Cereal
Eggs
Cold pizza
Feeling of dread
2. Which of the following best describes your bedroom?
Tidy
Obstacle course
Cozy nest of clothes and candy wrappers
Post-apocalyptic / Dystopian
3. On a scale of golden retriever to ice cube, how friendly are you?
Golden retriever
Sofa
Blackberry bush
Ice cube
4. If you were to suddenly break out in song in the middle of class, what kind of music would you choose?
Show tune
Hip-hop
Love song I wrote
‘80s all the way
5. What kind of aquatic creature are you?
Sea dragon
Hermit crab
Manatee
Shark
6. What do you get more joy out of?
Laughing at a good joke
Laughing at the expense of others
Doing my part to help out around the house
Gum
7. “I keep my emotions…”
To myself
Flowing freely for all to enjoy
In a tiny airtight bottle
Tucked inside a bomb that could detonate at any moment
8. What would you be most terrified to find under your bed?
Scorpion
Bear
Yogurt
Clown
9. In your opinion, which is better?
Giving
Receiving
Giving in exchange for something of equal or greater value
Receiving way more than anyone else
10. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side
Because it felt like it
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before
To get away from your stupid joke
11. Favorite kind of rock?
Agate
Thunderegg
Metamorphic
& roll
12. Favorite substance to paint on your hand?
Rubber cement
Elmer’s glue
Ketchup
Antibacterial hand sanitizer
13. How are you at handling mistakes?
I always apologize and try to learn from my mistakes
It wasn’t my fault
That guy over there did it
Mistakes? Me? Never.
14. What number am I thinking of?
7
36
141
843
15. Do you consider yourself to be a paranoid person?
No
Why would you ask me that?
Seriously, do I seem like a paranoid person?
Are a lot of people saying that I’m a paranoid person?
16. If you could only pick one of the many fabulous Happy Heads™® available now, for a limited time, at 10% off the regular already low price, which would you choose?
My Happy Tropical Head®
My Happy Popular Head®
My Happy Retro Head®
My Happy Glow-in-the-Dark Head®
Fun
Danger
Adventure
Cassidy
18. The ultimate day for me is:
Communing with trees
Communing with good friends
Communing with computer
Communing with pillow
19. Which of the following does not belong?
Bunnies
Mini corgis
Fun-size candy bars
Myself
21. All your friends jump off a cliff. Do you:
Jump off cliff
First buy hang glider, then jump off cliff
Cautiously climb down from cliff
Promise to jump after them, then laugh
22. If you could have one extra body part, what would you choose?
Extra heart
Extra eye
Extra arm
Extra stomach
Ready to discover what brings you joy?
First, tally up all your A responses, B responses, C responses, and D responses.
Next, multiply your A total by 3, add 5 to your B total, subtract 3 from your C total, and divide your D total in half.
Now just add up all four numbers and multiply the total by 2 and we’ll tell you exactly what makes you happy.
97–132 You are the kind of person who finds joy in pleasurable activities, such as spending time doing the things you love with people you like being around. You also enjoy trees and food. To experience even greater happiness, try living in the moment, finding your purpose, or becoming one with the universe.
64–96 You find your greatest joy in life’s simple pleasures: spending time outside on a warm day, eating your favorite foods while hanging out with good friends, receiving birthday money in the mail. To make yourself feel even happier, try surrounding yourself with people who are less happy than you.
34–63 Happiness for you is spending time in the great outdoors or indoors, exploring new places or video games with new or old friends, and participating in things while breathing in the air. To achieve even greater happiness, try taking three minutes to write down everything you’re grateful for, ten minutes to go on a walk, five minutes to call up an old friend, or eighteen minutes to do all of the above.
4 Before working on your happiness, you would do well to spend a little time with a math tutor. From there, try setting small but realistic happiness goals, such as watching a video of a baby monkey playing with a lion cub, or giving away something you don’t really like that much to a sibling or friend.