Grace sticks close to Annabel in the pub even though part of her would have relished the chance to talk to Katy. She’s surprised that Annabel agreed to come. She has so much to deal with. Jarrod showing no outward signs of improvement. Daniel, self-destructive and self-absorbed as ever. Now Jemma, the last person Annabel was expecting trouble from. Poor Annabel has been left reeling.
The pub is busier than expected. Melissa and Katy manage to secure a couple of stools but the rest of them remain standing.
‘You all right?’ Grace whispers, looking closely at her friend’s face.
Annabel shudders. ‘I keep having to redefine what rock bottom means.’
On hearing Jemma’s confession, Annabel phoned the detective first and Grace second, so upset that Grace could hardly decipher what she was saying. That’s how she ended up in Annabel’s kitchen that afternoon, consoling both mother and daughter.
‘I’m sorry, Mum,’ Jemma wailed. ‘I didn’t think Daniel would become so addicted. I didn’t think he’d be like this. Now I’m here every day, I can see what a problem he is and I feel so bad I had a part in it ...’
‘I thought I could count on you, Jemma,’ Annabel wailed back. ‘I can’t believe you would be so irresponsible with Daniel, and so cruel to both me and Grace!’
Grace refrained from adding her viewpoint, which took a lot of self-control. Jemma had violated the lines between adult and minor, getting stoned with her under-age brother. And why all this unwarranted vindictiveness towards her mother and Grace?
‘Sorry, Grace, I know you tell me off only because you love me. Sorry, Mum, I’m so sorry. Now I can imagine what it’s like to be a mother at my age, how daunting and constant it is ...’
Grace made them both tea that they didn’t drink. She arranged for Mia to go to a friend’s house after school. She didn’t know what to do about Daniel but suspected he wasn’t at school anyway. Later that night, she relayed everything to Tom. Everything but the fact that she’d actually suspected him. She will never tell him. Never admit that she lost faith in his goodness. He would be so hurt and bewildered. When she found that note in Lauren’s room, Tom was her only solace; there was no doubt left in her mind.
Annabel has already finished her glass of wine. She takes her purse from her handbag. ‘I’ll get another ... then it’s back to the hospital for me.’
Grace declines Annabel’s offer of a second drink. She wants to get home soon. To the kids. To Tom. She feels safer when they’re both in the house. Two sets of eyes to watch the children. Next week they’re having an alarm system fitted to the windows and doors. She is worried about the extra cost and what it will do to their precarious finances but at the same time counting down the days. She never wants to walk into a child’s bedroom again and see an open window, a rectangle of darkness through which anything could have happened. She never wants to experience that sense of violation, that sheer terror. Fear about one’s own safety is one thing. Fear for your children – so vulnerable and innocent – is quite another.
Katy comes over while Annabel is at the bar, giving the impression that she waited for the coast to clear.
‘Hey, Grace.’ She flits her eyes to the rest of the group. ‘Well, this isn’t what any of us expected.’
‘No. It’s quite the nightmare.’
‘She’s doing her best.’ Grace takes a sip of wine, reaches a decision. ‘Listen, while you’re here, there’s something that’s been on my mind.’
Katy cocks her head, smiles a little warily. ‘That sounds serious.’
‘It is ... I owe you a long-overdue apology. For pathetically standing by and allowing Annabel to be so awful to you at school. My loss, really, because I think you and I would have made great friends.’
Katy’s smile changes to one of surprise and embarrassment. ‘Well, thank you, but no apology required. What happened was nothing I don’t see at work every day. For every kid who is lacking in empathy, there’s another who’s lacking in resilience. They’re all emotionally underdeveloped and categorically self-absorbed, but that’s part of their journey and most of them turn out okay.’ Her eyes veer to Annabel, who is in the process of handing over cash to the barman. ‘I get a lot of mums who see me because their child is being bullied or excluded. Some of them think it’s payback, because they used to be the mean girl in their day, now the shoe’s on the other foot. They are perfectly nice women, devoted mothers, as I am sure Annabel is.’
Now Grace wants to be friends with her all the more. How wise she is. Motherhood is a great antidote for meanness, as well as many other failings.
‘Oh, look, there’s Aaron.’ Katy waves to catch someone’s attention. ‘He can’t see us. Excuse me.’
She moves through the crowd, continuing to wave. Moments later Annabel returns with a fresh glass of wine. The timing is almost too perfect.
Melissa is next to make an approach. Grace tenses as she sees her coming. Another victim of Annabel’s. Another apology owed.
Melissa holds out her hand to Annabel. ‘I’m so sorry about what has happened to Jarrod.’
Annabel accepts her handshake and murmurs, ‘Thank you ... Everyone’s concern means a lot.’
Twenty years of estrangement stand between them. It’s hard to imagine what common ground they might have today. Grace is contemplating saying something, alleviating the awkwardness, when Melissa speaks again.
‘I have teenage step-children. They’re incredibly difficult at times ...’
Grace thinks that ‘difficult’ is a diplomatic word to describe Jemma and Daniel’s behaviour.
Annabel nods. Takes a large gulp of her drink. Grace knows her well enough to tell that she’s planning her exit: the awkwardness is excruciating.
Melissa also senses Annabel’s imminent departure. ‘Stay,’ she urges. Both Annabel and Grace are equally taken aback by the firmness in her tone, the authority. ‘Stay a minute and listen. I’ve just realised something that doesn’t add up ... Some of us don’t belong here. Me and Katy, for example. We were not part of your core group.’
Grace inhales sharply. Melissa has a point. Why didn’t anyone think of this before now?
The question on Annabel’s face transforms into a frown. ‘So, what are you saying, exactly?’
Melissa’s gaze swerves to Katy, who is now chatting to Luke, Zach and another, unfamiliar, man. ‘I’m saying that our cohort – Robbie McGrath included – would not put me or Katy in this “group”. They would’ve known I was blacklisted, and that Katy was never cool enough in our eyes to be granted entry.’
Melissa has Grace’s full attention, Annabel’s too. She stands in an erect and confident manner. Grace can imagine her on a stage, giving a presentation to hundreds of people, not one bit afraid of the limelight.
Her stare is quite piercing. ‘I’m saying that whoever is doing this, whoever is sending these notes, is someone outside our year group. Someone close enough to know who’s who and think they have a handle on the dynamics, but not close enough to get it fully right.’