Zach’s had three beers. He spent most of the time talking to Luke and his partner, Aaron, a sociology professor. He enjoyed their company, shook Luke’s hand and asked him to keep in touch, even though he’s fairly sure neither of them will make the effort.
It’s raining when he gets outside, a summer storm that’s come out of nowhere. Thunder, lightning, the works. Zach pauses, contemplating where he’ll have the best chance of getting a taxi. The wharf or the beachfront? He jogs towards the beachfront, one of the few idiots braving the deluge.
He reaches The Steyne, looks left and right: not a taxi light to be seen. Lightning streaks the sky, illuminating the ocean. A deafening crack of thunder overhead. Then a miracle: a taxi pulls in a short distance up the road to drop off passengers, two women who giggle as they run for cover in their high heels. Zach sprints towards it, jumps in the back seat, slams shut the door.
‘Forestville,’ he instructs the driver, wiping water from his face.
As the taxi edges into the traffic, Zach notices a man standing close to the edge of the pavement. The man has a baseball cap pulled down over his eyes. He’s obviously frustrated, his leg kicking out in temper. Zach wonders if he inadvertently pushed ahead of him. Maybe he had his eye on the taxi too?
Too late now, mate. Sorry.
Carson is awake when he gets home. No surprises there.
‘Dadda?’ he calls, as soon as Zach shuts the front door behind him.
‘Coming,’ Zach calls back, slipping out of his shoes and leaving them to dry on the mat.
He bounds up the stairs and sticks his head around his son’s door, which he likes to leave slightly ajar.
‘I’m soaked through, mate. Just give me a minute to get out of these wet clothes and I’ll be back.’
‘Okay,’ Carson replies from the shadows. ‘Hurry.’
Zach has to laugh. Carson has a funny concept of speed and when it’s required. Izzy is not in their bedroom even though the light is on. She must be reading somewhere downstairs. Zach changes into jeans and a T-shirt, then doubles back to Carson’s room.
He sits down on the side of the bed, strokes his son’s hair back from his eyes. ‘Tell me all about your day.’
Carson starts with vigour. A speech he had to deliver at school. Falling over at lunchtime and scraping his knee. He drifts off in the middle of telling Zach about his art project, something that undoubtedly involves copious amounts of glitter and enthusiasm. Zach kisses his son on the head and straightens the bedclothes. He never knew it was possible to love someone as much as he loves Carson.
He finds Izzy downstairs, sitting in the semi-dark, a book on her lap. Things remain strained between them. Zach has been sleeping in the study and of course Carson’s deeply concerned about the change in the status quo. Zach explained that he’d been snoring – the first excuse he could think of – and had to sleep downstairs so he wouldn’t keep Mumma awake.
Izzy turns down the corner of the page she was reading and snaps the book shut. ‘We should talk.’
Zach closes his eyes, says a quick prayer: Don’t end it. Please don’t end it.
He sits down next to her, clasps his hands together, waits for her verdict.
‘I hate what you did,’ she opens.
‘Me too,’ he says, searching her face, her dark inscrutable eyes, for clues. He knows her better than he knows himself, but she folds into herself when she’s upset. She becomes steely and aloof. Totally unlike her usual warm nature.
‘The boy at school ... I understand you were a different person then, a selfish, shallow teenager.’ Zach nods. That just about sums up his younger self. ‘But cheating on Carson and me, that’s been harder to rationalise. You were a grown man. You were a husband and a father—’
‘I’m sorry,’ Zach interjects. ‘I’ll be sorry till the day I die.’
‘It was a difficult time,’ she concedes. ‘Such a difficult time. Making an effort to be happy and proud like other new parents. Modelling excitement and positivity in the face of all that pity ... But Carson loves you so much, Zach.’
Tears spring to his eyes. ‘I love him, too. More than words can say.’
She nods. ‘I love Carson more than I love you ... which is why I must forgive you. I must see your infidelity as part of the struggle we were going through at the time, and try not to let it hurt me today.’
She’s going to forgive him. For Carson’s sake. He’s crying in earnest now.
‘I won’t let you down again. I won’t ever let either of you down again.’
‘Please don’t,’ she says plainly, then takes him in her arms.
Sometime later, when Zach’s emotions are back under control, he tells her about the group meeting with the detective. No more secrets. Besides, he knows she can be relied on to keep the details to herself and not compromise the investigation in any way.
‘Do I need to worry about Carson and me?’ she asks. ‘Do I need to be careful when we go out?’
‘I think you should be more vigilant than usual,’ he says slowly. ‘Keep the house locked when you’re at home. Nothing has been proved but when you add up all the separate instances ...’
‘And the police are going to pay a visit to this man, Robbie?’
‘Yes. I’m adamant it’s him but Katy’s just as adamant it isn’t. I guess we’ll see what the detective thinks.’
Izzy accepts this. She stands up, stretches. ‘I’m ready for bed. Will you lock up?’
‘Sure.’
Zach checks all the windows and doors, taking extra care to make sure everything’s locked and secure. The curtains in the study are open. Rain slashes the window. Thunder is a far-off rumble. The storm is on its way somewhere else. Zach closes the curtains, gets his pillow from the sofa bed and goes upstairs.
A terrible burden has been lifted. He’s both lighter and stronger. At peace with himself. He’s just like Carson in that regard: happy only when the status quo has been re-established.