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I open my eyes and check my phone. Lunch? I'm a little pissed that Alex arrived at midnight instead of the promised lunchtime. But I understand the reason he couldn't make it. Leslie told me that a school bus got into an accident, and as the head of the pediatrics department, he had to lead his team in saving the injured kids.
The calming sounds of Bach's symphony plays and reaches the bedroom. I expect him to walk in in a few moments. I have my script ready. Pretend to have fallen asleep. Wait for him to wake me up with a kiss. Ask me if he had dinner. I know, it's like an over-the-board wannabe-wife script, but it's something I dreamt of doing before my accident.
My wild teenage life was a rebellious phase from what my parents tried to map out for me. Dad wanted me to take pre-med in college. I didn’t need to be a doctor. I just needed to understand how the medical world works. But I had my plans. Not really. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I was sure about holding onto a hopeless and childish dream of a happily ever after. And everything that happened with Alex last night fills me with fantasy.
Alex and I are in a whirlwind of emotions and complications. It's even a blur how our argument led to my submission to him. Or why I'm still here – waiting for him and believing he will come home to me. It's more unclear what we will be after what happened to us.
His wife cheated on him, but that doesn't mean Alex doesn't love her. Or because he can fuck another woman, he has moved on from his loss. Alex won't be in love with me because I spread my legs and offered my virginity. I fantasize about him. I slept for almost six years of my life and skipped the basic process of being an adult, but I still know how I feel. It may still be a child-like emotion, but I fell in love – from the moment I heard his promise.
I rise from the bed when Alex still hasn’t come into the room. Does he think I'm really asleep? I walk to the door, pretend to be sleepy, and slowly open it. A gush of reality blows on me when I see Alex standing in front of his wife’s portrait. My whole body trembles, and I hold on to the knob tighter. He gulps the shot of whiskey in his hand, places it next to the frame, and heads to the kitchen.
A tear rolls down my cheeks as I look into his wife's picture. I've been in his place for a whole day, but I didn't see it. Did he hide it and take it out after thinking I was gone? Did he not expect me to wait for him until he returns? Haven! I really skipped the process of adulthood. I can’t even tell if a person is playing me.
Alex didn’t miss his promise to come home at lunch because he needed to be at the hospital. He stayed until I left. Only a foolish girl will wait for a day for her date to show up. I snort at myself. A date?
I should have known. Boys and men are still the same! They'll sweet talk you into hoping that they want you. So when they want to use you again, you'll be this stupid girl who'll let them take a big part of you. If not, all of you.
“Haven?” Alex calls just when I am about to close the door. The foolish girl in me gets excited at the sight of a half-naked gorgeous man. Alex has removed his shirt and rolled it around his left hand. He holds a sandwich in his right. “You stayed?”
I try to hold back my frown, but my lips still twitch. "Disappointed?" I ask.
Alex looks at me from head to foot and laughs. I’m wearing one of his shirts, which is still oversized despite the weight I put on all those years of sleep, and his boxers. “Surprised,” he says after his short laughter.
He rushes to the door and suddenly catches my mouth, kissing me with his mayonnaise-smudged lips. Once again, all the questions and doubts clouding my mind burst like bubbles. The passion his lips ignite, together with the sweetness of his swirling tongue, sway my heart with the assurance that everything is as it should be. Me in his arms. His lips on mine. Time is all ours. And next stop, happiness.
"You stayed," Alex repeats like he can't believe it.
“I promised, didn’t I?”
“I never expected you to stay for,” he chuckles and adds, “almost twenty-four hours.”
"Should I have just left?" I glare at him.
Alex only laughs at my stern face. He wipes it with his palm and kisses me again. "Nobody stays and waits for twenty-four hours," Alex confesses and showers me with kisses. He stops and looks at the shirt I wear. "And you look fantastic in these."
I shriek when Alex suddenly carries me and playfully wrestles me to the bed. I freeze when he spreads my legs and positions his body above me. His bulging crotch pushes against mine; my walls throb with excitement. He smiles and plants gentle kisses on my lips, cheeks, and neck.
Then, my stupidity flicks me to ask, "Not even her?"
Alex stops kissing me. I squeeze his biceps to hold him tighter. I’m scared that he’ll quickly leave to avoid my question. He slides a hand just above the band of the boxers and caresses my hip bone. His response is a soft shake of the head.
"This is my life, Haven," Alex tells me. He shows a half-smile and adds, "I leave suddenly and sometimes don't come home as promised."
Alex smiles and relays that he has always wanted to be a doctor. He was born into a family of business tycoons. He doesn't need to work his ass off to earn money or honor. Alex is doing this because he loves saving lives. Only a stupid woman would not fall in love with a man of his heart.
"I have those kids and my son," Alex continues. He stops caressing my hips and declares, "You have to understand ...."
“I understand,” it sounds impulsive, but I do.
I would have crossed death if I didn't have a medical team that wouldn't give up on me. Alex takes care of kids in critical care. Those kids need that kind of doctor to look upon them. I will not be that person to take it away. Alex is the hope for many of them. Just as he woke me with the promise of taking care of my heart.
“But I still don’t want you to leave,” Alex clears up.
“I’m not.”
"Also, there will be times I'll come home tired and disinterested, and I ...."
I playfully wrestle him and climb on top of him. “I can remedy that,” I cut in with a mischievous smile. I draw a line of kisses on his chest and face him. “I’m not that good... yet. But I know this much.”
Alex chuckles as I slide between his legs to level my face on his crotch. The chuckle fades, but his grunts grow louder when I unbuckle and unzip his pants. I hold back my breath as I reach for his cock and pull it out of his boxers. I'm in awe! A man is different from a boy in many aspects. What I know about giving blow jobs may not be enough!
“Haven,” Alex mutters when I massage the hilt and lightly draw circles around his sac. “You’re amazing,” he adds while his cock pulses in my palm.
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