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“Happiness?” Mom shakes her head in frustration.
She's so frustrated that she can't wait to discuss it at home. My mother chased me out of the hospital where I was supposed to have lunch with Alex and brought me to my father's office. I feel like an eight-year-old getting called to the principal's office for kissing a boy at the playground.
I look at Dad. Frustration also paints his face. I've been dating Alex for two weeks, but it's only now that our relationship is out. Because of the accident, Alex had been busy checking up on the students. We rarely had time for each other the past few days. He promised to take the afternoon off and spend it with me. He also mentioned a surprise, but Mom discovered us.
It's been a ride being with Alex – a slightly difficult one. Part of me understood his wife somehow and realized why Alex wanted to give her a second chance. It's easy to believe Alex does not prioritize or neglects me, especially when dates are getting canceled and dinner is being cut short. Some nights with him meant only watching him sleep. It’s not like Alex wants it himself. It goes with the profession he loves. It’s either I accept it or leave.
But looking at the other side, his reason for neglecting our time together keeps me in love with him. I have a man who never gives up and sees the possibility in an almost impossible situation. So, who am I to give up on him? It'll be like giving up a man who will always be there for me. Or, as he promised, the man who'll take care of my heart.
Even if I'm the third on his list or get pushed to the side more often, I can't deny that Alex gives me what I need to have this second chance in life. Happiness. He emanates it and shares it with me, urging me to hold on to him and never let go.
Even Leslie thinks I’m doing the right thing. Alex’s friends are also happy that we found each other. Richard, though a little obnoxious, is true to his profession. After noticing the good Alex brings to me, Richard encourages me to go for it. But my parents refuse to understand.
“This is not happiness, Haven. You’re being impulsive, just as you’ve always been,” Mom points out. “And that man is taking advantage of that.”
"He is not," I bite my lip and look at my father. I hesitate to say it, but the childish side in me pulls the trigger, and I spit to my father, "He's only taking what you sold."
“Haven!” My mother yells.
I regret my words; my father can only sigh. I give him an apologetic look and explain, "Yes. A boy died in that accident but not because of my impulsiveness alone. Yes. I almost died. But Mom, Dad, I'm still alive. I have a second chance. And for some reason, I got lucky and got a ticket to happiness the moment I woke up. Can't I have that?"
Mom opens her mouth, but Dad shuts her up by saying, “You can have it. If you want all the happiness in this world, I will give it to you.”
My heart leaps at his declaration. But when I gaze into his eyes and see his reluctance, my joy disappears like a bubble. Dad's lips twitch down before he asks, "But tell me. Which part of you does he love? Or does he even love you?"
“Dad?”
Dad reminds me of the truth I’ve wanted to hear from Alex. I don’t doubt that he loves me, but is he in love with me?
“He’s not in love with you but with the idea that he can continue to love his wife,” Dad insists. “He was desperate to keep his wife alive with your heart.”
“His wife cheated on him,” my stupidity throws Alex under the bus, but my dad isn’t surprised. He must have had Alex investigated to protect his interest over the latter’s share.
“And is that enough to love you more than his wife?” Dad looks at my mother.
Mom looks down with guilty eyes. She also cheated on my dad once. But he gave her another chance because he was deeply in love with her. Alex would have done the same to Lauren. I wouldn't be in the equation had she had a healthy heart.
"Which part of his life are you a part of, Haven?" Dad isn't mocking me, but I feel he is. He takes a deep breath and adds, "Just his bed. When he needs sex? When he is full of lust?"
“Daddy,” Mom calls to stop him upon seeing the pain his words cut into my heart.
Dad shakes his head. He walks closer to me and wipes my tear before it falls off my cheek. "As I said, I will not hinder your happiness, Haven. But I'll go through hell to stop anyone from hurting you."
Despite the doubt defeating my trust in Alex, I look into my dad's eyes and declare, "He will not hurt me. I will make him my happiness."
My father’s sigh lingers in my ears while I leave the room. He is a father who almost lost me once. I understand him. But this is my life and my chance to make it right – for myself and not for somebody else’s. And despite my doubts, I believe that I’m doing right by being with Alex.
The elevator door opens, and Alex appears before me. He steps out and studies my face, wondering – no – asking what happened. The scared part of me wants to hide all the doubts and questions in my mind, but the woman in love with him wants to prove my dad wrong.
"Why do you love me?" I ask. Tears pour down my cheeks as questions flow out of my mouth. "Which part of me do you love? Am I a substitute? Why are you not telling me anything when we're together? Why do I have to guess what goes into your mind?"
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