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Each of Haven's questions whips my heart and escalates my fear. I've become complacent that we naturally understand each other and need no words. Stupid. Just like Lauren, Haven is still a woman. She needs to hear some confirmation. I need to make her feel loved through little things, too.
I pull her to my chest and hug her. The panic of losing her tightens my embrace. “Because I am in love with you. I love everything about you. Not as a substitute, but another chance at happiness," Haven's cries turn into loud sobs while I whisper into her ears. I brush my lips against hers and explain, "I should have cleared everything for you."
Haven smiles and buries her face in my chest, wiping her tears on my white coat. I pat her back to calm her. I stop when she starts giggling. She raises her head and wipes her snot on my shirt. "I'm sorry," she mutters.
"I have it all the time," I reply. Haven laughs, and I join her. Slowly her laughter fades when I stop laughing with her. Haven gives me a puzzled look. I brush the back of my hand against her cheek and gently kiss her. "Thank you."
She replies with another confused reaction. I thank her for saying what she feels and demanding what she wants to hear and who to be for me. Another person I love would have faded away again if I only trusted my stupid feelings. My heart sinks a little as Lauren crosses my mind.
My wife had to be lonely and become a cheater for me to realize what I have to do to keep those I love. Lauren had to die for me to have another shot at happiness and to have it longer than she had.
“What are you thinking?”
“It’s who,” I reply to Haven’s question. I smile and say, “Lauren.”
Her lips twitch a little, but I return her smile by kissing her. She takes a deep breath and nods softly. "I understand," she says. "You'll be thinking of her sometimes. But promise me something." I remain silent as she fights her hesitation. Haven looks straight into my eyes and says, "Never compare us."
I laugh at her condition and hug her tight. I kiss the top of her head and whisper, “I promise. I was only thanking her for leading me to you.”
Haven pulls away and softly smiles. I am about to lean and kiss her when Mr. Ricci appears in the hallway. I step back and look at him. His wrinkles become vivid as his face turns into a grimace. I give him a little nod and lock my fingers with Haven's. She looks at her father and softly smiles before following my lead to the elevator.
"One day, I'll make them understand," I tell Haven. "I just need to gather proof first."
“Proof?”
“That I want you to be part of everything I do,” I confess.
Haven's lips curve to an excited smile. "Do I get to see the baby?" I freeze for a moment while looking at her. I never thought she'd be thinking about my son as I was yet to tell her about him. She squeezes my hand and says, "He's part of you, isn't he?"
"Thank you," is all I can think of. Oh, scrap it. I can do more than that. I wrap my arms around Haven's waist and kiss her. "And do you want to be part of him, too?"
“If you’ll let me,” Haven bravely answers.
I am about to kiss her when the door to the elevator opens. Haven's eyes widen when Damon Cowell and Monique Aragon enter while kissing each other, ignoring whoever can see them.
They break up after I clear my throat. Haven smiles at Damon and Monique, whom she has met before in my office. “I’ll tell you later,” I whisper to Haven when she becomes confused about the two.
Anyone will be confused about Damon and Monique's relationship. They claim to be best friends, but they're fucking each other every time they have a chance. Some call it "friends with benefits," but I don't think so. These two only refuse to acknowledge that they are fit to be partners. They're already lucky to find a person who understands them. I have found it with Haven, but we still have a long way to go before we reach the level of understanding Damon and Monique have. These two only have to find the definition of what they have.
"So, ready for the big vacation, Haven?" Damon asks. Haven nods while blushing. He gives me a teasing look and teases, "Looks like someone is getting an upgrade from the bathroom."
I glare at Damon. Monique's laugh fills the elevator, leaving Haven puzzled. Haven blushes after seeing Damon showing the masturbating gesture. She looks at me, and I can only smile while glaring at the two.
"If you didn't fall for him, I'd suggest a lawsuit against him," Monique tells Haven. I give her a warning look, but the carefree therapist ignores me and spills, "Did you know he masturbated to you even when you're in a coma? That's sexual harassment to the shameless level."
"And did you know how irritating it is to hear him grunt and call your name in the bathroom for almost two months?" Damon adds before the two laugh together.
Haven turns to me with a teasing smile. I glance at her and look at the two. I squeeze Damon's shoulder and remind him, "You'll be the acting director after I leave for my vacation. But I'm still the director now. And I can still fire some staff."
Only Monique laughs. Damon frowns and replies, “Okay, Boss.”
The door opens, and we watch the two rascals walk away. Before the door can close, the two of them get into each other's lips again. Haven looks at me and giggles. I push her to the corner and also cage her mouth with mine.
“Jealous, are we?” Haven teases.
"No. We will get there. We will be like those two," I assure Haven. "But with commitment."
Haven flashes a wide smile. “With commitment. I like that,” she tiptoes and locks lips with me. “But when are you going to say you love me?”
I open her mouth wider and stick my tongue deep into her throat. She moans as my tongue explores the inside of her mouth. She stops me when I'm about to pull away and initiates the next kiss. "I was about to," I whisper to Haven. She raises an eyebrow, demanding the words. I chuckle and say, "I love you."
Haven's eyes twinkle. "I love you, too," she replies. When the door to the ground floor opens, she turns to me and asks, "So, where to?"
A cliché and cringe, but I answer, “To anywhere there’s happiness.”
"Then, it's anywhere with you," Haven replies. We look at each other before she sticks her tongue out and rolls her eyes. “Oh, Jesus. We’re going crazy.”
We are. The way we found each other was a crazy circumstance. We began with an insane start. And we end up madly in love with each other. We're still at the beginning of our journey and far from the end. And as I promised her when she was asleep, I will take care of Haven's heart and fill it with the happiness she deserves. But heaven had a different plan. They want me to do it by her side. And that's what I'll do.
I look at Haven and smile.
This is happiness.
But this isn't the end.
