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I light a cigarette. The lighter lights the tip, but the flame quickly dies. I try again, but the wind puts off the fire. I throw the cigarette on the ground and stump on it as hard as I can – like I'm trying to erase a cockroach from the face of the earth.
You’re right. You’re the one I needed.
I'm not in love with Damon. I will continue to deny that – especially now that my heart is in danger of getting hurt. From the start –
From the start?
Damon and I don't even know how we started. But we had an understanding. We will be each other's partner until somebody better comes along. Now, he found his.
It's too fast. And too wrong! The view from the hospital's rooftop doesn't help me accept what I witnessed in Damon's office. Witnessed? I didn't see anything because they locked the door. Damon doesn't secure the door unless I'm with him. We are probably in a provocative situation when that happens. I bet he was in the same circumstance with Tricia.
You’re the one I needed.
Mist covers my eyes when I remember how Damon held me that night. Something will change between us. I refuse to think of the worst scenario but can't shake off the theory that I'll be pushed to the side and forgotten. Left to find my “somebody better.”
I take another cigarette, but it also doesn’t light up. I look up to the dusking sky and ask, “What? You’re taking his side, too? Fine. Give him somebody better. I won’t care. Just let me light a fucking cigarette.”
“You love doing the things I hate the most, don’t you?”
I roll my eyes at the sky and face Damon. His face looks pale while looking at the buildings surrounding the hospital. I have helped him feel safe in high places, but high open spaces like the rooftop still scare him.
He frowns upon seeing the torn cigarette on the floor. “You don’t want me to find you?”
"Were you looking for me?" I take my phone and show it to him. "You could have just called. Were you too busy?"
Damon's eyebrows almost switch places as he frowns. Damon hates calling me on the phone. He has this quirk of looking for me instead of just telling me to meet him. So, I usually don't go to places Damon hates – like high open spaces – except when I don't want him to find me. But he still always comes.
"Can we go down first?" Damon's breathing is short and shallow. I wonder if he breathes the same way when Tricia and he...
I close my eyes and try to deny my awakened jealousy. We are only fuck buddies. I have no right to be jealous of what he had or will have.
"I'm trying to clear my mind, Damon. Leave me alone."
Damon forces his feet to take the steps toward me. I softly growl and walk closer to him. He flashes a boyish smile and kisses me. I want to be angry. How can he act sweet with me after being with Tricia? Is he having an additional “fubu” instead of somebody better?
Sting strikes my heart as guilt engulfs it. I know how Damon hates having to explain accusations. And lying or hiding things from me is not something he will do. I shouldn't judge him before he can have a chance to tell me about it.
“Tricia came to me,” Damon confesses.
“I know. I was there,” Shit. I don't know how to hide my jealousy. Damon teases me with a smile; I pretend to glare at him. "You didn't have to rush to me just to say Tricia is the one you needed. I heard it."
"Did you hear everything? Fuck," Damon curses when a strong wind blows on us. I grab him by the wrist and lead him back to the staircase. "What exactly did you hear?" he asks as we descend.
I want to keep it in, but the stupid jealousy pumps me up. "That you want Tricia to be the same. That she's so great, and she's the one you need. I believe that is you telling her that she's somebody better."
My shriek covers the small hallway from the elevator to the staircase when Damon lifts me and pushes me to the wall. I cling to his shoulder and wrap my legs around his hips. Oh, I hate how my body reacts to him!
"Confident doctor, Monique Aragon, is jealous," Damon teases while moving his face closer to mine. He brushes the tip of his tall nose against mine. He looks straight into my eyes and says, "And she looks more beautiful when jealous."
“What do you want, Dr. Cowell?” I raise an eyebrow at him.
"I did say Tricia is the one I needed," Damon opens up.
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