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I hate this! I hate looking over my shoulder to see if Lionel will be somewhere in this emergency room. Leila, the OR nurse that works closely with him, tells me that VIP doctors don’t respond to emergencies. Lionel may not be a specialist yet, but he’s a VIP.
Also, Lionel has just finished his first heart transplant operation as the lead surgeon. It's one of the few hurdles he has to accomplish to become a specialist. Leila said the operation was a success. But Lionel insisted on waiting in the room until the patient woke up. He would have no time to lurk around the emergency room for a while.
"Finish this for me," I tell the nurse after I finish suturing the forehead of a high school football player. I smile at the kid and explain, "We'll do some other tests and get back to you later."
I look at the clock and sigh. It's already six in the evening. Kollie must be crying now, and Mom's panicking about how to make her stop. I chuckle and walk to another patient. It's Mom's fault that I'm not home. She's the one who insisted that I proceed with my residency and even asked Beth Icenhower for a favor. She knows I can't say no to Beth.
The Icenhower matriarch is like a second mother to me. Beth only wants the best for me. The only time I defied her request was about four years ago when I refused to go to a medical school of their choice. The family wanted me close and to take extra training in Osler if I wanted to. I turned down their offer for Kollie’s sake. No. For Lionel’s sake.
I want to regret giving myself to him. Not once, but twice. The first time, he was drunk. The second time, he was angry. But I couldn’t regret anything that happened between us. Somehow, I became whole after being one with him.
After realizing what happened, Lionel apologized and insisted on taking responsibility. It was against his will. He didn't mean his proposal. He only didn't want to disappoint his family. I know him. He never showed me affection since I got into high school – unless his family required him.
Though my family began as servants to the Icenhowers, the family treated my mom and me like family. But I don't know if they would accept me as the wife of their youngest son. Knowing them, though, they would have forced Lionel to take responsibility had they known about what happened between us. I could not let it happen.
Lionel hated having things forced upon him. He didn't want to be a doctor, but the family urged him. I agree with the Icenhowers. Lionel is intelligent beyond comparison. Everything about him says he'll be a great doctor. But his heart wasn't there. Despite finishing the course and becoming one, he continued to resent the decisions others made for him. Though I could tell, he learned to love becoming one.
I couldn't force him to take responsibility for me. I don't want him to hate me. I've loved him for so long, and I refuse to find a reason to hate him. Had I chosen to marry him and live with his resentment of being my husband, I may learn to hate him more than I have loved him. But he doesn't stop giving me reasons to continue loving him. I got pregnant.
So, I hid and continued medical school while pregnant. Mom left the Icenhowers and helped me. We raised Kollie together while I worked and studied. It was hard, but not that bad. Beth gave my mother a retirement fee, enough for her to open a small flower shop.
But after my internship, everything became clear. Until Kollie is old enough to go to school, I can’t proceed with my residency. I can’t miss her first few years. She’s growing up without a father because of me. I can’t let her cross infancy without me by her side.
My mother objected to my decision and turned to the Icenhowers for another favor. Upon knowing my situation, Beth used her influence to get me a residency at Osler and imposed impossible working conditions for my benefit. But they're the Icenhowers; nothing is impossible for them at Osler.
Beth arranged a no night duty contract for me. I don't need to exceed eight hours but only have to complete a forty-eight-hour work week requirement for a resident. In short, no one can force me to work my ass off. But I'm not that kind of woman. I am a doctor and should work as one.
“Time to go home, Darwin.” One of the residents taunts me. I can sense the jealousy in her voice.
Rumors about me being a child of a VIP stockholder circulated like wildfire after my first day. Some say that my parents don't have enough company shares. Hence, I still have to do emergency duties instead of immediately joining a cardiology-surgery team like Lionel. I chose to ignore the rumors. I'm only here to finish my residency and be qualified for specialization as a cardiologist. I've long given up on my dream of working beside Lionel.
“Who’s going home?” I freeze at the deep sound of a familiar voice. I look back and find Lionel standing on the other side of the emergency station. He looks at me with cold eyes. I can still sense his resentment over what happened between us. “Kayley Darwin?”
I raise my hand and ride his pretense of not knowing me. My throat dries when he traces my body with his eyes. Even the other personnel see how sharp he looks at me. But his admiring eyes return to sharp ones when he stares back at my face.
"A first-year resident doing an eight-hour clockwork. Ah. Even I didn't have that privilege." Sarcasm fills his voice. Lionel darts a sharp look at me and adds, "Follow me."
“But, Dr. Icenhower, I’m...”
I stop walking after Lionel suddenly stops. He looks at the other doctors and nurses in the emergency room. They quickly scram and return to their work. He glances at me before walking again.
"Just because we vouched for you, you can act like a princess," he suddenly stops and turns to me. I lose my balance due to surprise. He quickly holds me by my elbow and keeps me standing. "You are a first-year resident. Do your job."
“But, Lionel,” I freeze when he glares at me. “Dr. Icenhower, I need to go home. Kol...”
“Kol? I don't care if your boyfriend, husband, or a date for shagging is waiting for you," I almost slap him and declare that it's his daughter who's waiting for me. But the part of me who always spoils him and chooses to understand him instead of telling him the truth wins again. "You still have work to do."
Another young male doctor approaches us with some medical journals and a notebook. He looks at me and gives me the stack. "Mom wanted you to have this. Use it to write a medical digest of these journals. I need it by tomorrow."
“What?”
The other resident looks as shocked as I am. There are about a dozen medical journals, and he expects me to make a report about them. Before I can say a word, Lionel takes a step toward me. His chest is only a few inches away from my face. His heat travels to me, just as it did when he pushed me against the wall the morning we conceived our child.
"My parents have the stocks to call the shots as to who gets to be employed," I avoid Lionel's glaring eyes. "Guess who can call the shots to get you to remain employed," he turns to the other resident and orders, "Let her do everything. Enjoy your day off."
“Lion... Dr. Icenhower.” But he doesn’t hear me out and walks away.
“I don’t know what you did, but you must have pissed Dr. Frost off a lot,” the other resident chuckles. “A suggestion, Dr. Darwin. Get on his good side as fast as you can.”
“His good side?”
I scoff at the advice. Lionel already got between my legs, but he still won't want me on his good side.
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