TAG KNEW HE needed to talk to Ally.
He’d half-expected to hear from her the day after the party. Normally, he took Sundays off—well, off in the sense that he used the day to catch up on his personal to-do list, which usually included household chores, before meeting his parents and siblings at church. And he rarely missed Sunday dinner with his family.
Yesterday, he’d taken the opportunity to announce the new campaign plans to them. Not surprisingly, they’d been enthusiastic and supportive, if slightly concerned about timing and logistics. Tag had a few reservations about those, too, but hopefully the trip to Juneau the following weekend would allay many of them.
No word from Ally all day Monday, either. Not one to leave matters unresolved in any aspect of his life, Tag decided to drop by her cottage that evening after work. He knew the owner, Kenny Bitzle, a retired commercial fisherman who now lived in the lower forty-eight and rented the place out. It was an excellent location, within easy walking distance of the hospital and Rankins’s small cluster of businesses generally referred to as “downtown.”
After meeting his friend and fellow pilot Cricket Blackburn for an early dinner and a game of darts at the Cozy Caribou, he decided to walk to Ally’s.
He tried to ignore the eager hammering of his pulse as he neared the house. Surely they could remain friends after they talked this through. It had just been a kiss. Several, technically, maybe? There had been a lot of lip contact in a short span of time, but regardless, after analyzing the situation, she was probably regretting the whole thing as much as he was.
As he stepped into the street to cross, a car turned the corner. Waving at Mrs. Keller behind the wheel, he waited for her to pass. Back on track, he started to move again but immediately froze because there was a guy standing on Ally’s porch. His back was to Tag, but even from this distance he could see Ally smiling. A burning sensation flared inside him. Was this why she hadn’t called? Was she seeing someone else? Not that she was seeing him, but...
The guy took a few steps backward, and the movement immediately struck him as familiar. Confusion, anger and finally disbelief tumbled through him as he watched his teenaged cousin pivot, basketball in hand, and saunter down the steps in that easy, loose-limbed way Gareth had of moving.
Tag instantly recognized his deep voice calling out, “Thanks, Ally. I’ll see you Thursday.” The thudding sound of a ball bouncing, one, two, three times, rang in the air before Gareth climbed into the vehicle, his mom’s SUV, and drove off down the street.
Tag considered walking away, but Ally had spotted him. Waving, she motioned him over, and he found himself plodding toward her, his legs heavy and weak.
“Tag, hi.” Her voice was cocoa warm and just as sweet, and if she felt awkward about anything it didn’t show.
A sharp pain in his jaw alerted him to the fact that he was clenching his teeth. He tried to relax, but it was difficult with a million questions piercing his brain. Gareth had just turned eighteen, old enough to date a woman in her early twenties. Had she kissed him, too? Was Tag even now being compared to his teenaged cousin? Dating an older woman would be a sign of prestige for Gareth, whereas Tag would be viewed as a walking midlife crisis. But he wasn’t middle-aged yet, was he? It was slightly depressing that he even had to wonder.
“What are you doing? I was just thinking about you.”
Brown eyes shining with what looked like happiness matched her smile, and despite his cartwheeling emotions, his heart climbed into his throat. She always looked so...together and unaffected. Why was that, when he was the older one? Wasn’t that supposed to make him wiser? More evolved? Okay, maybe not that last one, seeing how jealousy was stewing hotly within him at the moment.
“Do you want to come in?”
“I do.” A few steps carried him inside. She shut the door, and he spun to face her. “Ally, I, uh, I need to know what’s going on.”
A little furrow formed between her brows. “With what?”
“Technically, he’s old enough for you, but you know he’s still in high school, right? Gareth, my cousin?”
Her lips parted with a little gasp of surprise. It made a nice change, Tag thought, seeing that display of emotion, as brief as it was. In a millisecond, confusion morphed to her go-to unreadable expression. How could he have ever believed it indicated indifference? Because as he studied her carefully, he realized that while her face was stoic, her eyes were flashing. And just that fast he knew he’d screwed up.
When she spoke, her voice held a calm, edge-of-cheerful tone. “Surely, you’re not implying that I would throw myself at you and then make a play for your teenaged cousin?”
Wow. That sounded bad, even though that’s pretty much what he’d been doing. It was painful to admit it. “Uh, not...really.” What in the world had gotten into him? He should be encouraging her to see someone else. Not Gareth. But...someone. He swallowed the bitter, metallic taste on his tongue.
She stared at him. “You sure about that?”
Cringing under her doubt-filled scrutiny, he confessed, “Okay, yes.” He muttered an expletive and raked a hand across his jaw. “I’m sorry. I...don’t know what came over me. I didn’t know it was Gareth, at first. I just saw this guy standing on your porch, and I lost my mind for a minute...” How was this honesty helping matters?
“Wait. You’re jealous?”
“Apparently.”
One corner of her mouth ticked up. “That’s a relief, I think. I didn’t hear from you yesterday, and I didn’t call or text because I was trying to give you time to process what happened, maybe miss me a little.”
Mission accomplished. And in a manner that was making him look and feel worse by the second.
“Today, when I still didn’t hear from you, I started to worry. Then I saw you outside just now, and my heart did this nice little somersault because I thought you were coming to see me. But when you got closer, looking all broody and serious, I was afraid you were coming over to let me down easy. I didn’t see a jealousy thing happening, but I think that bodes well, as far as feelings go.”
“Yeah, I’ll admit this isn’t how this was supposed to happen. I’m sorry. I was totally out of line. You can date whoever you want. Although his mom, my cousin Janie, might not be thrilled.”
Cocking her head slowly to one side, she said, “Or—wait... Did you stop by to let me down?”
“I, uh, I was hoping to do it with a lot more finesse.”
She froze.
So did he. Then he sighed because what he wanted to do was pull her close and wrap his arms around her.
“Look, Ally, I’m the one who is let down. I like you, obviously. I’ve already told you that. And I’m beyond flattered that you would even entertain the thought of being interested in me.”
She stepped toward him, right into his comfort zone, and his pulse took off like a helicopter rotor at full speed.
“How could any woman not be interested in you?” Her voice was all soft, like she was about to tell him a secret, and his blood went hot as he remembered what happened last time she’d gotten this close. He stared at her full, beyond-tempting lips, now curling up at the corners, and told himself he should take a step back. This perfectly rational message sent from his brain was refused delivery by the rest of his body. Wrenching his gaze upward, he found her brown eyes full of teasing humor.
“I know for a fact that they all are, Mr. Most Eligible Bachelor. And you can count me right there among them.”
He made a growling sound, part desire, part frustration. “You shouldn’t be. I am too old for you and...” The rest of his words were lost, lodged in his throat like dry oatmeal, because she’d brought her hands up to touch his chest. They were toe to toe, and with her palms flat she slid her hands slowly up while he watched, fascinated, until they disappeared from his line of sight to wind around his neck.
Because she was so much shorter, she had to stretch to accomplish the task, and the move left only a fraction of space between them. One deep breath and she’d be flush against him... With a gentle pull, she urged his head to bow toward hers. She must have risen onto her toes at the same time because that last bit of space between them disappeared and their lips made contact.
Closing his eyes, he kissed her back, but only lightly, allowing himself this final goodbye. See, he could do this. One soft, sweet, goodbye kiss...
Then she made a little noise and went all boneless against him, her fingers biting into his shoulders. His arms tightened around her. Sliding the fingers of one hand up to the back of her neck, he curved the other around her hip and kissed her with everything he had.
Like it was the last time.
Because it was, he realized when she whispered his name. He had to stop this. He pulled away slightly. Her fingers bunched the fabric of his shirt and she laid her cheek against his chest. Tag rested his chin on the top of her head while he waited for his breathing to slow.
A long moment passed before she let out a soft chuckle and said, “Too tall, maybe. But definitely not too old.”
Taking one of her hands, he tucked it in his and pulled her toward the sofa, urging her down next to him. He had to let her go even as he wondered how it could possibly hurt this much when he barely knew her. But he knew enough. And if she was older, then he would learn everything. But she wasn’t.
“Surely you’re not still going to give me the speech? After that?”
He allowed himself a final moment to enjoy the sensation of her skin against his before he released her. “Yes, I am. Because the fact is that you are closer in age to Gareth and every other senior in high school than you are to me.”
“I don’t care. I don’t even know how old you are.”
“Great.” His head fell back on the sofa. “That does not make it better.”
“Forty?” she guessed.
“Close.”
“Forty-five?”
“Seriously? I look forty-five to you?”
She shrugged. “No, but from the way you’re acting I figured it had to be higher.”
“That would for sure mean a midlife crisis,” he muttered.
“What?” she asked with a laugh.
“Nothing. I’m thirty-eight.”
She brightened. “See? Not even forty. It’s all good!”
“No, it’s not. It is not good at all. This is not going to happen.”
“Well, I’ve got news for you, Grandpa, something already did. Twice. And I, for one, can’t wait to do it again.”
“Ally...” Her name came out like a groan. “Okay, I’ll admit we’ve got a... I don’t even know what to call this.” He gestured helplessly between them. “But physical attraction isn’t a basis for a relationship.”
She looked offended. “I know that. I’m not attracted to you because of the way you look or because we happen to have some killer chemistry here, although you are gorgeous and this—” she gestured happily between them “—is pretty fun.”
“You’re not?” And it wasn’t fun. Not to him. At least, not in a good way. Because it just made everything even more difficult and somehow increased his guilt exponentially.
“No, and that’s not why you like me, either. We didn’t feel anything the first couple times we met, did we? Except for irritation. I didn’t even remember who you were at one point and you thought I was a crackpot. Maybe still do, a bit.”
This was true, mostly. “Crackpot is kind of a strong term.”
She chuckled. “Don’t start pulling the political correctness card on me now. I know what you thought of me. And I thought you were just another arrogant know-it-all. I’m attracted to you because you’re not those things. You are confident and smart and incredibly thoughtful and kind. You love your family, and from what I’ve seen you’re extra good to them all, especially your sisters. You’re also a paramedic, a decent basketball player and an excellent pilot, and I’ll admit I find that particular skill set highly attractive.”
Toast. He was toast. How was he supposed to resist this—her? He was 100 percent certain he’d never been tested this way in his entire life. And he’d thought running for the senate was going to be his biggest challenge.
She shifted on the sofa, curling one leg under her. “Let’s talk about why this is an issue for you, the age thing. Do you even know how old I am?”
“Twenty-three or -four? Please say twenty-four. And twenty-five would absolutely make my day.”
“Twenty-two.” Her free hand shot forward. “Don’t freak out. I’ve lived a lot—you know that. My childhood was unique, to say the least. I grew up fast in some ways. A little sheltered in others, but mostly in good ways, I think. I’ve already served in the Army and been to college and traveled the world.”
“But—”
“Tag, it’s just time, days and hours that have passed. And when you think about it, it’s a drop in the bucket.”
He scoffed. “In a geological context, maybe.”
She brought a hand up to cover her mouth, but laughter sputtered through her fingers. “Did you just call yourself a fossil?”
“This isn’t funny.” He fought a smile and lost. “Okay, that was a little funny, but the rest of this is not.”
“It is, too.” She choked out the words, trying to hold in another laugh. “Especially the way you set me up there.”
He shook his head. “You make it hard for me to think clearly. This situation has me panicky in a way I’ve never experienced before.”
Reaching over, she picked up his hand. And he let her. Because he was a weak, weak man. And he wanted to believe her. He wanted these years and days and hours between them not to matter. It was that simple. Turning his hand, she placed it on her knee. With her index finger, she traced the lines on his palm.
Serious now, she said, “This line right here, your lifeline, is strong and deep. It tells me you are healthy with excellent stamina and vitality. That’s all I need to know.” Shrugging like it was a done deal, she brought her gaze up to meet his. Gorgeous brown eyes, wide and sincere, and when she turned their full force on him like this, he feared he might not be able to deny her anything.
“Did I mention that in addition to having an interest in alternative medicine I’m also psychic?”
What? His stomach dipped nervously as her words sank in. Perfect. Maybe now she’d tell him he was going to die soon in a fiery plane crash.
“No, uh...you didn’t. I don’t know...”
She busted out laughing. “I’m kidding! I have no idea what any of these lines mean. I just like holding your hand.” She began to massage the intricate muscles of his palm.
He chuckled. “You are a brat. But that feels heavenly, whatever you’re doing.”
“Pressure points I do know. You’re very tense, by the way. I wonder why?”
“Yeah, I wonder, too,” he said drily.
Grinning, she linked her fingers through his and squeezed. “But, seriously, why does a few extra years matter to you so much?”
Despite his anxiety, he felt a kind of soul-deep rightness seeping into him. Why did it matter? She was watching him, waiting for an answer. It seemed years ago that he’d been twenty-two. And yet, maybe not that long ago, after all. He couldn’t remember when his feelings had ever confused him like this.
He sighed and said the first thing that came to his mind. “What would people think? You’re younger than my little sisters.”
“And you’re older than my car.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Exactly. Who cares what people think? Are you committed to someone else?”
“No.”
“Good.” She heaved out a breath. “I was worried because the way you bolted after I kissed you at the picnic, I figured maybe you were feeling guilty because there was already someone in your life. Same goes for me. And other than going to the prom with your cousin, I’m free to date whenever and whoever I want.”
“Also not funny.”
“I know. But you deserve it for even thinking that I would look at him in that way.”
Tag laid his head back against the sofa and realized that since they’d been to Anchorage together, in fact the last time they’d been alone together, he felt relaxed and...? Himself. Happy. Right now, there wasn’t anywhere else on the entire planet he’d rather be.
“Look, is it possible for you to let go of your...ageism,” she teased, “long enough to just have some fun? I’m not looking for marriage here or kids or even a relationship. I like you, Tag. I haven’t liked anyone as much as I like you in...a really long time.”
And that was the heart of the problem: Tag was looking, he wanted all of those things. They were at very different points in their lives. He needed to look if he was going to get married and have a family. Did he have the time to waste on dating when he knew it couldn’t go anywhere? And even if they did head in that direction, Ally was too young to make a decision about the rest of her life. He certainly couldn’t have made that kind of commitment at twenty-two, or at any time in his twenties, if he was honest. And by the time she was ready, he would be way older than he wanted to be when he started a family.
Not that he even had time to think about that now, with the election bearing down on him. Although, she’d just said that she wasn’t interested in a serious relationship. It was the only reason, he told himself, he would even consider dating her; they couldn’t get serious.
That’s when it occurred to him: their age difference could be the very thing that allowed him to date her. It would be a buffer of sorts, the justification for keeping the relationship casual.
He’d need to be straight with her about this campaign business before he even considered going out with her. Was he considering it?
“Maybe. But first, there’s something I need to tell you.”
* * *
ALLY LISTENED TO Tag outline the Senator Project. Concern for Rankins, the community and the surrounding environment welled within her.
“Almost every person in my family and most of my friends rely on the pristine beauty of this valley for their livelihoods,” explained Tag.
His reasons made sense, and she respected his commitment, but as he went on, an unsettled feeling crept over her. She couldn’t quite put her finger on what was bothering her. She was glad that he seemed more amenable to the idea of their spending time together, but what had made him change his mind so quickly?
“I want to make sure you understand that, if we start...dating, I won’t be as available as I’d like. The campaign will be demanding. I’m going to have to travel and spend a lot of time in Juneau.” He shrugged. “It could get crazy.”
“I see. But why you?”
“What do you mean?”
“This all started with your cousin Bering, right? Why doesn’t he run? Or your dad or one of your sisters?”
“They all have businesses to manage.”
“So do you.”
A flash of what looked a lot like uncertainty passed across his face and Ally’s heart went out to him. She’d wanted to shake that ironclad confidence of his at the basketball game, but running for office was different, serious and more significant. He would need every bit of self-assurance he could muster.
“They all have families, except the triplets. Any of them could do it, but it makes the most sense for me to do it. I’m the one with the most time and the least to lose.”
“Hmm.” The most time? From what she’d seen and heard, that worked a lot more to their advantage than his. Helping people seemed to be his thing, but who, she wondered, helped him?
“You have to promise me that if we do start dating, we’ll keep it casual, like you said. See other people, I mean, you can see other people and...you should.”
She laughed. “I’m not interested in seeing anyone else. But just so you know, I am going to see Gareth again. I told him I’d help him with his outside shooting. That’s what he was doing here.”
“Oh. That’s nice of you.”
“So, we’re really going to try this?” Ally glanced up at the wall. Tag followed her gaze up to the fish clock he suspected Kenny had left there. “You and me? And you’re fine with people knowing?”
“Yep.”
Leaning forward, she brushed her lips against his, liking the way his eyelids fluttered closed, like he was all-in. “Good, because your sister is going to be here any minute.”
“Iris?”
“No, Hannah. We’re having dinner.” Hannah had approached Ally on Saturday when she and Flynn were leaving the party and asked if they could have that discussion about her leg Ally had offered before. But she wasn’t going to tell Tag that part. Best to tackle one issue at a time.