Chapter
Four
Two days later, I was packing to go to Kansas City. The police wanted to interview me before I picked up Cicely. A copy of Hannah’s will had been sent to DCF, and it cleared the way for me to take her home. Even though I felt emotionally and physically drained, I kept pushing forward. There wasn’t any choice. Cicely needed me. It was a little after seven-thirty in the morning when the phone rang. It was Paul.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to meet you at The Whistle Stop for breakfast.”
“I’m not sure I have the time.”
“It . . . it’s very important. Please, Sarah.”
I was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out if I could squeeze Paul in and still get on the road with plenty of time to get to the police station for the interview. He sounded so insistent I agreed to meet him at nine. As I hung up, I wondered what he could possibly want to talk about. At least this would give me the opportunity to let him know about Hannah’s letter. Janet and I hadn’t told anyone else. To be honest, we weren’t sure what to do about it. Hannah had warned me about getting involved in what had happened to her, but how could I let it drop? Was she really killed because she’d looked into our parents’ deaths? Were the two cases related? If they were, what did that mean? I wanted answers, but I had serious doubts about Hannah’s conclusion. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with any reason someone would wait almost twenty years after killing our parents to murder my sister. It didn’t make any sense. Maybe the letter was just another sign of the fixation that had taken over Hannah’s life. Because of that very real possibility, I had doubts about sharing it with the police. What if Cicely found out about it? It could frighten her unnecessarily.
I let Janet know I’d be gone for a while. Although she wouldn’t admit it, I was convinced she’d been staying home in case I needed her. I appreciated it, but I knew how busy she was at the Sanctuary Animal Clinic. There were a lot of animals in Sanctuary. Not just pets but also many larger animals from nearby farms. Several other small towns in our area were without veterinarians, so they relied on Janet to help them. The woman who used to run the clinic had been sent to prison months earlier. Janet had been her helper, but since Rae’s arrest, Janet had taken over the duties full time. Even though she loved animals, I knew she wasn’t thrilled to be working so many hours.
I changed clothes three times. Maybe it was vain and silly, but for some reason I wanted to look nice for Paul. “This is just stupid. Paul Gleason isn’t the least bit interested in you,” I said to my reflection after finally picking out black slacks and a teal sweater that Janet had given me for Christmas. I usually wore subtle colors, especially at school. This was a daring choice for me, but Janet was right. The sweater looked nice with my red hair. Even though I’d tried to hide my freckles under some foundation and powder, they still peeked through. I’d never come close to being as pretty as Hannah, but I had to admit I didn’t look half bad by the time I finished.
I decided to walk to The Whistle Stop, since it was only a few blocks away. It was cold outside so I bundled up. I actually found the winter temperatures invigorating. By the time I reached the restaurant, Paul’s cruiser was already parked outside. I went in and found him sitting at a table in the corner. As I started toward him, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to find Mary Gessner, the café owner, standing behind me.
“I’m so glad to see you, Sarah,” she said. “Rosey and I are praying for you.”
Although Sanctuary was full of good people, Mary and her daughter were special to me. Mary’s gentle and loving nature not only drew people to her, but she was also known for her love of animals. Sanctuary’s title applied to all of its residents, including all the unwanted pets that had been dumped off in the country by unfeeling, heartless owners. Mary never met an animal she didn’t love. Her house was a happy, noisy, exuberant zoo, full of dogs and cats. From time to time, other animals had also taken up residence with her. Injured rabbits, squirrels, raccoons, deer, birds, frogs, and even possums had spent time recovering in her makeshift animal hospital. Janet used Mary as a foster home for abandoned animals that needed a place to live until they could be adopted. Somehow, Mary and Janet always found homes for their domesticated animal friends, while the injured wild animals were treated and released when they were well.
“Thank you so much,” I said, giving her a hug. “It means more than I can say to know I have friends who are praying for me and for Cicely.”
“You certainly have that. And if you need anything, please just let us know.”
“I will. Right now, one of your fabulous breakfasts will certainly make me feel better.”
She chuckled. “Well, I can’t guarantee my food will cure everything, but at least today we can warm you up a bit. I’ll give you and the deputy some time to decide what you want, and then I’ll come and take your order.”
“Sounds great, but on the way over here, all I could think about was a stack of your fabulous pecan pancakes.”
Mary smiled. “Not a problem. They’re very popular today. Must be something about pancakes and cold weather.”
“Well, don’t sell out before I get some.”
“It won’t happen. We have lots of batter and gobs of pecans.”
“Good. See you in a bit.” I headed for the table where Paul waited.
“Am I late?” I asked, approaching the table.
He shook his head. “Not at all. I’m a little early. I had to stop by Amos Peabody’s farm on the way over. He’d called to report that his milk cow, Simone, had been stolen.”
As I started to take off my coat, Paul jumped up and helped me. When his hand brushed my shoulder, it made me feel warm inside. I chided myself silently. My silly attraction for this handsome deputy could only lead to disappointment.
“And did you find Simone?” I asked as he took my coat and put it on the back of my chair.
“As a matter of fact, I did. She’s decided she’s in love with Boris Kirkendahl’s bull. We found her hiding behind a small grove of trees next to Boris’s fence. Unfortunately for her, I’m afraid her love will remain unrequited. Amos has no intention of allowing them to get together, and Boris’s bull doesn’t seem interested anyway.”
“Poor Simone,” I said and sat down.
Paul studied the menu. “Do you know what you want?”
I nodded. “Mary makes the world’s best pecan pancakes.”
“Sounds good.” He closed his menu and stared at me. I’d started to feel a little uneasy when Mary suddenly stepped up next to our table.
“How about something to drink?” she asked.
“Hot coffee, please,” I said. “I’m frozen.”
“How about you, Paul?”
“Coffee sounds great. With cream, please.”
“Need a little longer to decide what you want to eat?”
“I think we’d both like pecan pancakes,” Paul said. “I’m told they’re the world’s best.”
Mary laughed. “Well, we’ve never compared our pancakes with all the other pancakes on earth, but I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.”
“Can you add a side of link sausage to that for me, Mary?” Paul asked.
“You’ve got it. Be back with your coffee in just a minute.”
“There might only be two restaurants in Sanctuary,” I said as Mary walked away, “but somehow we’ve managed to get the best cooks around. After I moved here, Janet and I used to go out of town for lunch on Sunday after church. But after a while, we decided it wasn’t worth it. If you can’t find what you want in Sanctuary, it probably doesn’t exist.”
Paul chuckled. “Sounds like a good town motto.”
“You might be right. I love it here.”
“I grew up in Fredericktown and really enjoyed it, but I have to admit, Sanctuary is charming. I understand why you like it so much. I’m sure you’re hoping Cicely will feel the same way?”
I sighed. “I do. Maybe it won’t be the place she lives the rest of her life, but I hope she’ll love it as much as I do while she’s here. In the end, she’ll have to find her own way, I guess. I believe God has a plan for each of us. I don’t know what He has in store for Cicely, so I won’t try to influence her to choose the same path I did.”
Paul cleared his throat. “So how are you doing, Sarah?”
“I can’t say I’m in great shape, but I’m hanging in there. Right now I’m concentrating on Cicely. That helps to keep my mind off myself and my own feelings.”
“Most people would be pretty angry. Even mad at God.”
Startled by his remark, I frowned at him. It was like he’d been peering into my soul. “In my heart I know He didn’t have anything to do with Hannah’s death, but . . . but I’m struggling some.” I shrugged. “We live in a fallen world where there is evil, and sometimes it gets in. I can’t say I understand why or how, but blaming God wouldn’t make any sense. I have to focus on the person who killed Hannah.” As I said the words, my heart convicted me. Even though my mind agreed with what I said, somewhere inside me there was rage that I couldn’t deal with now, no matter what Jonathon said. This wasn’t the time to let it out. If I did, I might completely unravel. Blaming God for what happened would go against everything I believed about Him. I couldn’t lose my sister and my beliefs at the same time. It would be too much for me to endure.
“I understand. I may work for a small county in Missouri, but I’ve seen some things that really test my faith. People can do terrible things to one another. Sometimes it’s hard to comprehend.”
Before I had a chance to respond, Mary came back to the table with our coffee. After she left, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm my ragged nerves. “Frankly, I don’t know that we’ll always have the answers to everything. If we’re not careful, we can drive ourselves crazy with questions.”
“Have you asked God about it?”
I grunted. “No, not really. Maybe when I have a chance to catch my breath, I might do that. Right now I don’t dare allow myself that luxury.” I took a sip of coffee and then put my cup back on the saucer. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have questions. But there is one thing I’m certain about. Hannah and I found each other for a reason. And that reason is Cicely. If Hannah hadn’t located me, Cicely would have ended up in foster care. Maybe her experience would have been a good one. But maybe not. At least I know she will be with someone who loves her. Someone who will raise her up with a knowledge of God.”
Paul didn’t say anything for a few moments, just sipped his coffee. Finally he put his cup down. “I lost a brother when I was a teenager. Randy was a good kid, but he was reckless. Took chances. One night, he was in a car wreck. A friend of his was driving drunk. Randy tried to get out of the car before something happened, but the guy wouldn’t let him out. When we got to the hospital, Randy told us he knew he wasn’t supposed to go with his friend that night, but he didn’t listen. He lived two days. His friend was killed on impact.” Paul shook his head. “I believe God tried to protect Randy.” He sighed as he stared at his coffee cup. “I think Randy would still be alive if he’d paid attention to his gut.”
“I’m so sorry, Paul. God may have warned Hannah too. I’ll probably never know.”
“I guess we need to listen to those warnings,” he said. “To be honest, I’m not sure if I know how to hear them.”
“When Janet offered me the chance to come to Sanctuary and live with her, I didn’t hear a voice, but I’ll never forget the confirmation that bubbled up inside me. It was as if God was saying, ‘Yes! Yes!’”
“Well, I’m certainly glad you listened.” He frowned. “You told me your parents were murdered when you were young and after that you and your sister were separated. How does a child deal with something like that?” He stared intently at me. “I’m not just being nosy. I’d really like to know more about you. You can tell me to mind my own business if you want. I won’t be offended.”
I took a deep breath, trying to clear my head. At that moment, Hannah’s death seemed to fill every corner of my mind. It was as if there wasn’t room for anything else. But for some reason, I really did want to share my story with Paul. I took a deep breath. “After our parents’ deaths, my sister and I went to live with an aunt in California for a couple of years, but she became very ill and couldn’t take care of us anymore. She was our only living relative, so we were sent back to Missouri and went into foster care. Hannah and I were both taken in by a very kind Mennonite woman. Unfortunately, a year later Mrs. Johnson passed away suddenly.” I realized I was talking quickly, but this wasn’t a story I liked to repeat. “Not long after that, Hannah was adopted by a very loving couple. I stayed in foster care. Hannah was a beautiful child with blond hair and blue eyes. As you can see, I’m very plain, and I’m sure most adoptive parents weren’t looking for skinny redheaded children with freckles.”
Paul frowned at me. “I don’t think you’re plain. Not at all.”
“Well, thank you, but you don’t have to say that. Next to Hannah, I disappeared into the woodwork. She was very special. And not only on the outside. She was beautiful inside.”
“So you were never adopted?” he asked.
“No. After being shuffled around to several foster homes, I ended up with a couple in St. Louis who were in the system only for the money the state paid. With all the moving around I did, Hannah and I lost contact. Though I asked repeatedly for help finding my sister, the people I lived with weren’t interested. To them, I wasn’t a child. I was a paycheck. They weren’t physically abusive; they just didn’t care about me. I never complained because I didn’t want to move again, afraid if I did, Hannah would never find me. So I kept my mouth shut and put up with the mistreatment.”
“I’m sorry,” Paul said. “Some people shouldn’t be foster parents.”
I nodded. “That’s true, but actually I’m very grateful to them. You see, the family had two dogs that they treated better than their foster children. It was my job to take the dogs to the vet when they needed care. That’s where I met Janet. She ran a veterinary office near our house. She was very kind to me. Not long before I turned eighteen, she told me she was moving to Sanctuary and asked me to live with her. Her sister owned the house where Janet lives now, but she’d decided to move to Florida. She offered Janet the house, and she accepted. As soon as I turned eighteen, I left my foster family and came to Sanctuary.” I took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. “I know that’s the long answer to your question, but I don’t know how else to explain it.”
“And now you’re a teacher.”
“Yes. I’d wanted to be a teacher ever since we lived with my aunt. She was an incredible teacher. She not only gave me a love of learning, she showed me how teachers can make a huge difference in the lives of young people. Janet helped me obtain a scholarship, and I went to a small community college in Park Hills to get my degree. I worked hard and graduated in three years. My plan was to try to find a position near Sanctuary, but then the town approached me with the idea of opening a school here. I jumped at the chance.”
Paul nodded. “So when did you and your sister reconnect?”
“Almost a year ago. After searching for me for a long time, she finally found someone who knew my foster family and remembered that Janet and I were friends. Hannah was able to track down an old friend of Janet’s who told her she’d moved to Sanctuary. Hannah called Janet, found out I was living with her, and she and Cicely came to visit. I was so thrilled to have her in my life again.” I looked away for a moment, trying to rein in my emotions.
“I’m sorry. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about this right now,” Paul said gently.
“No, it’s okay. Although I loved seeing Hannah, she seemed almost obsessed with our parents’ murder. You see, she didn’t believe their deaths were the result of a burglary, the way the police had said. She’d been trying to find evidence to prove that ever since she was nineteen. Then a couple of months ago, a reporter, who was a friend of my mom’s when she worked for a Kansas City newspaper, contacted Hannah. The woman developed cancer and had to leave her job. She had a file about Mom and Dad’s murders. She’d kept that information all these years because the killers had never been found. I guess she didn’t want to destroy the file until she felt my parents had some kind of justice. Anyway, not long before she died, she gave the file to Hannah. Something in that file really stirred up my sister.”
“Did she tell you what it was?”
“No. I told her I wasn’t interested in talking about the murders.”
“And did she back off?”
“Yes, but I knew she wanted me to . . . I don’t know, get involved in whatever she was doing.” I shook my head. “I just couldn’t. I wanted to spend time getting to know Hannah again. And Cicely. The past was something I’d tried hard to put behind me. I didn’t want to get pulled back there again.” I shook my head. “I want closure too, Paul, but Hannah’s claims were just too unbelievable. I couldn’t allow myself to get sucked in. It . . . hurt too much.”
“I understand,” Paul said. “I’m sure I would have felt the same way.”
“Hannah seemed to understand too, but I know she was disappointed.” I took another sip of coffee before saying, “Paul, something’s happened. Something I want to share with you.”
“What’s that?”
I picked up my purse, opened it, and took out Hannah’s letter. I handed it to him and watched as he read it. His eyes widened with surprise. When he finished, he handed the letter back but didn’t say anything.
“I know it sounds as if our parents’ murders are connected to what happened to Hannah,” I said, “but how could that be true?” I picked up my napkin and dabbed at my wet eyes. “What if I was wrong, Paul?” I said in a near whisper. “What if Hannah really did discover something important?” I put the letter back inside my purse. “And what if my reluctance to listen cost Hannah her life?” I gazed into dark brown eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”
“First of all, you’re not responsible for what happened to Hannah,” Paul said emphatically. “Don’t do that to yourself. As far as the rest of it . . . I don’t know. The police need to see this letter.”
“No.”
He looked confused. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t want them to know about it . . . yet. I’m afraid they’ll think Hannah was delusional. And what if Cicely finds out about it?” I shook my head. “I intend to wait. If they find the person who killed my sister, I’m going to destroy the letter. Cicely will never know anything about it.”
Mary walked up to the table with our plates, so we stopped talking. I hadn’t been aware of how hungry I was until I was faced with Mary’s marvelous stack of pancakes. We thanked her and she left to tend to other customers. I said something about how good our food looked, but Paul’s face was tense and he seemed distracted.
“Have I upset you? Do you disagree with me?” I asked.
“No, it’s not that.” He picked up his fork and started eating.
I was convinced there was something else on his mind besides breakfast. Why had he wanted to meet me? We ate in silence until he asked me about school.
“I’m taking some time off,” I said. “Reuben King has offered to fill in for me until I’m ready to return.”
Reuben served as our town’s mayor. Even though our Mennonite population didn’t officially acknowledge his position, he was still able to represent their needs, along with everyone else’s, with government officials. He’d done many things to help Sanctuary, and everyone admired him.
“That’s great. He’ll do a good job.”
“You’ve been friends a long time, haven’t you?” I said.
“Ever since we were kids.”
“How are things going with him and Wynter?”
Wynter Evans was a reporter who had supposedly come to Sanctuary to do a story about interesting towns in Missouri. In truth, she suspected her kidnapped brother lived here. She was right. Wynter moved to Sanctuary not long after she found her brother, Ryan, who had been adopted by a Mennonite couple that had no idea their son had been abducted from his parents and sister. Wynter had fallen in love with Reuben, and now they were engaged. She’d left her job in St. Louis and moved to Sanctuary to do some writing—her real passion. She lived with Esther Lapp, an older Conservative Mennonite woman whose house was next door to Janet’s.
Wynter’s real name was Emily Erwin, but she’d changed it when she went into broadcasting. Although her family called her by her given name, everyone in Sanctuary knew her as Wynter, so the name had stuck.
“They’re doing great. They’re working on wedding plans, but they can’t seem to agree on a date.”
“Well, I hope they work it out. They’re such a wonderful couple.”
“Yes, they are.”
That seemed to end our conversation about Reuben. Paul was quiet and still seemed preoccupied.
Finally I put my fork down. “Paul, why did you ask me to breakfast this morning? I’ve enjoyed our time together, but I got the impression you had something specific you wanted to talk about.”
He drained the rest of his coffee and then poured himself another cup. After checking my cup, he put the carafe down. Then he wiped his mouth and put his napkin back in his lap. “I guess I’m thinking about our conversation. Sometimes we need to heed warnings. I wonder if I’m getting one now.”
I frowned at him. “What kind of warning? What are you talking about?”
“A warning to walk away, Sarah. Not to pursue your sister’s death too closely.”
“I don’t want to make this more dramatic than it is. It’s probably nothing. But . . . well, it bothered me, and I felt you should know.”
“Should know what?”
“I heard back from my friend in Kansas City. He e-mailed me the initial report taken at the scene of your sister’s murder. Again, this may not mean anything . . .”
“Let me be the judge of that,” I said.
“You mentioned something about flowers at the scene of your parents’ murder. Is that right?”
I nodded. “White orchids.” I thought for a moment. “Now that you mention it, I remember Hannah saying something about those flowers. That they weren’t there before the murders.”
“But you don’t remember?”
“No. I saw them when we were taken out of the house, but I assumed Dad bought them for her. I do remember that he liked buying her flowers.”
Paul picked up his coffee cup and stared at it, as if he couldn’t stand to look at me. “I was able to see the report taken at your sister’s crime scene. And it just seemed odd to me . . .”
“What? Tell me, Paul.”
He looked up slowly until he met my gaze. “Orchids. There were white orchids scattered around your sister’s body.”