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Fucking shit. Fucking shit. Those words keep swimming through my mind. Though I will not swear. It will spoil everything about this.
He smells incredible, and looks so fine in his grey fitted suit. Everything feels like I’m on some movie set. Even the weather is just right, with no wind and the temperature in double figures.
We’ve been walking down a gravel path through the trees, for around five minutes. Now the terrain is getting a little more precarious, but I’m managing.
“Nearly there,” he says, squeezing my hand.
I look ahead to see Ben wearing a black suit, standing on a plinth of decking which has been decorated with flowers and lanterns. I can hear the trickling water of a stream, and there are white flowers everywhere: roses, lilies, and orchids. Singular roses have been placed inside the branches of the trees, and orchids and lilies have been bunched next to candles in jars, which mark out an aisle. And now there are loose white petals beneath my feet.
Adrien stops our walk, and turns to face me. “I’m going to wait up there, with Ben.”
He jogs down the rest of the aisle, leaving me alone. Dom winks at me again, while Sara rolls her eyes, because she hates anything romantic. I feel cold, and I’ve never needed Adrien’s comforting touch this much since we’ve been together.
“About ten steps Liz,” I whisper down to my feet.
I look up to see Adrien smiling, and Ben laughing. They’re vampires for crying out loud. They heard me.
Screw this. He’s there waiting for me. I make my move, not fast, but not too slow.
I arrive at Adrien’s side, thankfully without fainting or tripping over my feet, and blow out the nervous pressure.
“That was a little tense for a moment there, Liz,” Ben says, laughing.
Adrien leans to my ear. “Now I can tell you how beautiful you look.” He kisses my flushed cheek.
“So as soon as this is the most unconventional wedding there has ever been, we’re going to do this in one of the oldest traditions there is,” Ben says, pulling a long red silk scarf out of his jacket pocket.
I don’t know whether this is a joke, but I’m now laughing as Adrien rolls his eyes at Ben. I think I know what this is. It’s the handfasting ceremony. To be honest, I love the idea. It’s the red silk that’s up for discussion, probably when we get back to London.
“So my dear family. We’re here on this special night to bear witness to love in its truest form.” Wow, Ben is so good at this. “If you would take hands.” Adrien turns to face me, and takes my hands in his. “Adrien, I believe you have your own vows.”
An instant look of horror develops over my face, and a dread fills my lungs. I haven’t wrote any vows at all. Adrien laughs and tilts his handsome view on me. He knows exactly what I’m thinking. I think they all do, because there’s now a light laughter coming from them all.
“Don’t worry Liz. You can say the customary vows.” Ben says, patting my shoulder, humorously. “So Adrien, if you will.”
I breathe in and out, trying not to shed a tear as I watch Adrien preparing himself. His fingers repeatedly knead mine, for comfort. I’ve never seen him so emotional before, and it’s pulling on my heart strings. I grin faintly to encourage him.
“Elizabeth.” He takes a human like nervous breath. “I have probably given you all my best lines, tacky lines, since we’ve been together.” I grip his fingers firmly. “But this is not a line, it’s a promise to you. I love you. You have given me a sense of what I’m supposed to be. You calm me with your presence. You calm me with your touch. You have never judged, only loved. I will honour you for all time. Love you endlessly.” Now a tear lingers on my eyelash. “Respect and protect you. Without you I shall cease to exist. Be my wife Elizabeth.” Ben holds out a platinum wedding band, and Adrien positions it over my finger, waiting for my response.
“Yes,” I say in a sniffle.
Adrien slips the cold wedding band down to my knuckle, brings up my hand, and kisses my fingers tenderly.
“Okay, are you ready Liz?” Ben asks, getting ready to help me out.
“Wait. I can do this.” I stare at Adrien.
I’m a literary graduate. I’m not weak when I’m with him, and I need to speak up. You can do this Liz.
“Okay, here goes. Adrien.” Now he grips my fingers to support me. “Adrien. When I first met you, which feels like a lifetime ago, I never thought I’d learn so much about the world. I’ve learnt unimaginable things, but with you I fear nothing. You taught me how I should be treated. You treated me with love, the sincerest love. I feel like I’ve known you for an eternity. You accept my occasional naivety, and you’ve become my best friend. I promise that I will love you with all I have in me. I promise that... that...” I have to take a breath and think for a second. “I promise that I will never let anything come between us. Marry me?” Oh god, I did it. It was emotional, and at times messy, but I told him the truth.
Ben hands me Adrien’s wedding band. I hold it over his finger and gaze up to see a faint lip quiver and a shimmer across his eyes.
“I fucking love you,” he says like it’s uncontainable.
“Okay.” Ben throws his hands up. “Adrien, answer her then.” Ben gestures his head.
“Yes,” Adrien states loudly. “I will.”
I giggle, sliding the ring down to his knuckle.
“So now it is my turn. Though, I doubt I’ll be able to beat that. Hands together,” Ben orders.
Adrien and I hold hands, facing each other with crossed arms. All I want to do is kiss him. Fling my arms around him and consummate our marriage. But I guess I’ll have to wait a little bit longer. Ben seems to be excited about this part.
Ben begins to wrap the red silk around our hands and over our wrists, until we’re bound fully.
“In the joining of hands in the fashion of this knot, so your lives are now bound to each other. May this knot remain tied for as long as love shall last. And may love last lifetime after lifetime. May this cord draw your hands together in love, commitment, trust, and friendship. May the vows you have spoken, never grow sour in your mouths. And may all look upon your love in awe, of how love should be done.” Ben’s hand comes down to rest on ours, and if I’m not mistaken he looks a little overwhelmed. “Sorry. Shit,” he utters.
“Pull it together.” Adrien smiles.
Ben jiggles his shoulders. “So, it is with the power invested in me.” He lifts his hands. “That I pronounce you husband and wife. Kiss her you lucky son of a bitch.” Ben playfully pushes Adrien’s shoulder.
Adrien leans, as do I, and our lips display all the emotion we’ve held in. Dom cheers like he’s at a football game, as Sara claps quietly.
Adrien draws away from me. I want to claw him back to me, but it’s kind of impossible when your hands are tied together.
“Okay. Enough with tradition. I want to hold my wife.” Adrien pulls my hands up with his.
Ben quickly unravels us. As soon as we’re free, Adrien lifts me up into his arms, kissing every inch of my face as he begins to walk back to the house. I giggle into his mouth, listening to Dom calling out inappropriate comments and wolf-whistling.
Adrien breaks free from me and yells, “See you all back in London.” His eyes are back on mine, so deep and meaningful. “Now Mrs Knight. We have work to do.” The tip of his cool nose brushes against mine.
***
I’M CARRIED OVER THE threshold, watching Adrien’s unwavering steel focus. I know what he needs, because I need it too.
He sets me down carefully, and the anticipation causes me to turn away from him. I force out a deep breath, feeling a tingle running through my body. He comes to stand right behind me, waking me from my trance.
“Elizabeth.” He kisses my outer ear, delicately. “I want to make love to my wife.” My chest flutters as I turn to him. “Go and freshen up. You have a bag in the bathroom.”
“You... you need to undo me first.” My vocal cords are so weak right now.
“Hmm.” He releases a deep sensual rumble, his eyes are stern and keen to see my skin.
He slowly manipulates me to turn my back to him, pushing me against the wall. My hands press down a shoulder length apart, and I hold my breath waiting for his touch. I peer beneath my arm for a second only, to see him removing his jacket, rolling up his sleeves, gazing like he’s about to do some serious work on me. God, this dress, no matter how gorgeous it may be, it is now a hindrance. I dig my fingernails into the wall, waiting on tenterhooks.
I swallow down, blinking slowly, then I angle my head to watch him. He sways side to side, lingering with greedy eyes. Then his finger, just one, swirls down my neck, softly. I tilt my chin down with a silent gasp as he begins to unravel me, one button at a time. With each pluck, his touch creates a hypersensitive sensation all over my skin. He stops, and I can feel his covetous eyes absorbing my body. I turn to him in darkness, parting my eyelids, to see his almost pleading expression.
“I’ll be waiting right here for you,” he says.
I approach the stairs swallowing down, understanding that this is a big deal. This night isn’t just about a quick fuck. It is as important as sliding the wedding band onto his finger. It’s a loving ritual. A commitment. Flesh on flesh.
***
I CLOSE THE BATHROOM door and find myself in a slight panic, looking for the bag. I spot it beside the shower, and above it is a white camisole silk night dress. It’s classy, but also sexy. It’s what he loves to see me wear. Simple silk with nothing beneath.
I slide the wedding dress from my shoulders and step out of it. I lift it up from the floor, carefully lie it over the side of the roll top bath, then remove my bra and panties. My hand reaches up to take the night dress from the hanger, and I slip the soft fabric over my body.
A few squirts of Hugo later, a little lip gloss, and a quick flick through my hair, and I’m ready. I grab the white towelling robe from the door. There’s nothing sexy about it, but there’s a chill in the air that only I can feel. As I thread my arms through the robe, I make my way out onto the landing.
***
MY BREATH IS SWEPT away in amazement as I step off the last step. Now I don’t need the bathrobe, the fire is aflame. There are a dozen candles on the marble fire surround, and he’s made a makeshift bed using fur throws and cushions. But the best thing of all, is the white hot image of Adrien. He’s lying naked on his side, with a blanket strewed over his perfect pale skin. His seducing eyes are lancing me with desire where I stand.
I reach up and pull out the two small hairclips, placing them on the mantle. I don’t know why I’m suddenly nervous. Maybe it’s because I want to get this right for him. He’s done all this for me, the fire, the candles, the bed, and a bottle of champagne chilling on ice. He could have just waited for me in the bedroom. But this is so thoughtful, and I don’t want to screw it up.
“Ready?” His sultry eyes catch and reel me in.
My bare feet move across the cool parquet floor. I stop with the tips of my toes delving into the edge of the soft downy rug. His bicep tenses as he manoeuvres up slightly to see me better. I pull on the towel belt, revealing the nightdress he chose, and let the bathrobe fall to the floor. The moments overwrought. It’s hot and romantic. And my lungs fill with carnal anticipation as his desiring golden gaze soaks me up.
“Stunning.” He hums as I fight to stop myself fidgeting. “Elizabeth.” His jaw tenses. “Don’t make me wait.”
The candle light fluctuates as I lie down by his side. I curl my toes into the rug as he swoops his hand over my neck. He stares down at me, doesn’t say a word, and leans to my face. I cup his cheek with one hand and the other I trace over the muscular curvature of his smooth hip. He progresses over my weakened desperate body, his lips caressing mine, so slow and soft. This is completely different and wonderful. I’m emotionally stirred, not only by lust, but love.
He rests his head on mine and we gaze into each other. I swig away the growth choking me, and his breath I breathe in. He moves up over me, his touch creeping down over my nipple and belly, his cool fingers coming to a stop over my warm sex. He’s teasing me tenderly with slight strokes, and my moisture for him overflows.
“Hmm,” I sigh out, basking in this moment.
“My wife,” he says, brushing over my clit so damn firm and slowly. “My lover.” I release a frustrated groan. “You will never want for anything.” He crawls up over my body, and I feel the tip of his erection touching me. I lift my hips a little with the magnetic force. “I’m nothing,” he almost growls into my mouth, coaxing my eyes to open. “Without you.”
He enters me with a gradual lunge, staring into me like I am his mirror, and our expectations and needs of this night are the same.
My fingertips claw into his back as he moves me so we’re both sitting upright. He sets the palms of his hands around my waist, and sweeps the silk nightdress up and over my head. My legs wrap around him as we grind together, slow, deep, and hard. His touch scours up my spine to embrace me against his body tighter.
“I love you,” I whisper, urgently.
His hips rise and his hands slam down onto the rug behind him. My clit swells and throbs like my heart, as I rub myself against him. He’s brought out my wildness. A sexual instinct that makes me forget who I am. I’m unable to contain my euphoria as my sex leaks onto his.
“That’s it... Elizabeth,” he grunts, his tone so rough and primal.
I moan out his name as his fingers pull at the roots of my hair. Hell, this is so freaking hot. Our hands are everywhere, gripping, scraping, and frantic. We are one right now, but need so badly to be even closer.
His knees bend into my back as he thrusts up into my body. His hand clutches my neck and he’s groaning as we love and fuck harder. My body shudders as the most intense orgasm floods from me.
“Oh god!” My entire body is pounding for him.
“That’s it.” He controls my waist forcefully. “SHIT!” he roars, coming to a gradual stop, panting into my breasts as he peaks passionately. “That was...was over too soon.”
I giggle quietly at his comment. “I’m sure we can go again. Say in ten minutes.”
“Yes.” I feel him chuckle against me.
A hush comes over us both as we cradle each other. Greatly overwhelmed by the constant rush of feelings surging through my body, I hold back a small tear as we relax.
“Like the first time every time,” he says, guiding me back so he can look into my eyes.
This is so wonderful, but a sudden unwanted ill-timed doubt has crept into my mind. It isn’t caused by Adrien, but by seeing Selene for the first time. I guess I just don’t want to see her again, thinking she can turn up whenever she wants, and order Adrien around. It seems that only now I’m considering the repercussions of marrying a vampire. The future. Our future together.
“What happens if we lose this?” I mumble.
He frowns at me. “What the hell are you talking about? We won’t lose anything.”
“And how can you be sure?”
“Because I know everything. Like I know you were put on this earth just for me.” I giggle at his cheesy comment. “I told you before, your unique scent had an impact on my soul. You and I are bound together in both light and dark. You were made for me by design. I cannot be without your touch, and you cannot be without mine. It is as simple as that, Elizabeth,” he states, clear-cut.
I’m all for loving sentimental poetry, but my Adrien sure knows how to put a spin on words. I’m unable to stop laughing.
“Why the hell is that funny?” He chuckles with me. “Oh, I forgot how much you hate compliments.”
“No I don’t,” I squeal.
He playfully slaps my ass so I elevate a little, my walls releasing his relaxed cock. I dismount and curl up beside him, with my head against his chest.
“I just find it weird listening to such nice words. It’s like you’re talking about someone else.”
“They’re cold hard facts, Elizabeth. They are for you, so learn to accept them.”
I smile, running my fingertips around his nipple. “Never.”
I watch the wax from one of the church size candles melt and drip, as my lips discharge a serene sigh.
“Are you not going to sleep?” he asks.
“I can sleep tomorrow.”
“Elizabeth, it is tomorrow.”
I blow out. “It’s fine for you. You can enjoy every minute of every day without needing repetitive mundane sleep.”
“You make it sound attractive. Believe me, it’s not.”
“Well sleep is overrated. Wasting all those hours in a day. Tonight has been perfect, and it’s too valuable to spend it sleeping.”
“Stubborn as always.”
I prop myself up on my elbow. “So, you really miss it then?”
“It’s the one thing that I miss the most.”
“Why?”
He tucks one of the cream scatter cushions underneath his head, as my eyes fall down onto his naked chest to ogle him. He’s all mine now, and I still can’t quite believe it.
“Elizabeth.” He gently moves my chin up with his finger. “Eyes on mine when we talk.” His lips curve, mischievously.
“Sorry. Please continue.”
“It’s the most human occurrence of all, to dream,” he says. “Not having the ability to journey in sleep, makes me hollow and soulless.”
Wow, I never thought of it that way. Though, if he were to take a journey through one of my dreams, I’m sure he’ll change his mind.
“Okay, there is that,” I say. “But they’re just dreams. They don’t mean a thing.”
“You are wrong.” His eyes roll. “I’ve been awake long enough to know that dreams are an escape for the soul. Good or bad, your soul is free when asleep.”
“So, when I’m being chased by clowns, that’s what I have to look forward to when I’m dead.” I frown. “If that’s the case, being like you is the better scenario.”
His jawline tightens. He’s annoyed. “You’re really still thinking about that?”
“Of course I am. We’re married now. Have you not even thought about the future?”
“Elizabeth, you’re being very difficult,” he grumbles. “This is not the best pillow talk we’ve had.”
“I’m sorry, but you know everything I’m saying is true.”
“Yes.” His eyes close. “But I can’t think about it... yet.”
“But have you thought about it?”
He sits up so the blanket slips further down his hips. He stares begrudgingly, not liking my need to pluck the truth out of him.
“Yes,” he replies in discontent. “I’ve thought about it. Some days it’s all I think about. But you can’t put this on me yet. You’re asking me to play God with your life. To make you bound to me always.”
“And I’m not bound to you now?”
“Of your own free will. You want me to curse you; to change you into something completely different.”
I thought this moment would never come. It’s clear that he’s profoundly torn about it. But he has to understand, I’m not going to live forever. If we stay like this, one day he’ll have to sit by my deathbed and watch me die. It’s a pretty crappy situation to think of at the age of twenty-two. I never for one second thought I’d hear myself saying it. But ten, twenty, or thirty years down the line, I’m going to be a different person. He once told me he remains on the same timeline as when he was turned, and I don’t want things to change, because eventually they will. My body will change, and my mind will change, when all I want is to stay like this with him, forever.
He growls and falls back onto the cushions, with his arms across the top of his head.
“Adrien, you won’t hurt me,” I say. “It is my choice to make. Nathan, well, he handled awakening okay didn’t he?”
“He’s vigore. It’s nothing compared to what you will go through. They automatically draw energy when awakening, to ease symptoms.”
“Fine, but you’ll be with me.”
“Listen to me carefully,” he says in a sharp tone. “If I do this, you will have to completely sacrifice your life. You’ll have to say goodbye to family and friends... for good,” he explains. “They cannot find out what you are. You’re willing to do that, break your mom’s heart?”
Mean, cruel, selfish, yes that’s me. All he’s told me I would have to give up, I would do gladly for him. I can say goodbye. I can lie to make my going easier. Mine will be a completely different experience to his. He died and didn’t return from war. He didn’t have the options I do.
“You told me once, that you didn’t want to think of the past because we are all that matters. Do you not think that I feel the exact same way? You may think I’m being a bitch for wanting to abandon my family, but like you said, this is our time.” I put my case across.
He doesn’t even blink. His brain is being pummelled by me. I just want him to understand the reality of it all.
“You need to give me time.” His Adam’s apple moves down his neck. “If I turn you, it has to be on my terms, when I think you’re ready. Okay?”
Nervously, I shake my head in agreement, realising how hard even that was for him to say.
“Okay.” I shuffle down to rest my head back on his smooth breast.
“Now Mrs Knight, stop talking and go to sleep. It is an art form for me, pretending.” He kisses the top of my head.