Ah, how Monsters yearn for the good old days! Once upon a time, children were tender and innocent. Masquerading as a grandmother was enough to lure them within the swipe of a claw.
A steady diet of these little angels brimming with innocence ensured an iron constitution, year round.
Sadly, modern times have curbed the Yark’s diet. Modern times produce practically no edible children.
These days, brats thrive on the earth like warts on a witch’s chin. Schoolyards teem with brutish and nasty small persons who are the spitting image of their parents.
When still knee-high to a grasshopper, children already possess all the faults of adults. They play superheroes, boast and brag, but wet their pants the minute the hall light is switched off.
Garrulous, gluttonous, capricious, cowardly, good-for-nothing, lazy … truth be told, if they didn’t make excellent stews, children would serve no purpose at all. Their primitive brains allow them to perform only the most rudimentary tasks. Eating, telling lies, and snickering is all they can accomplish in a day.
If only they had a shred of wit!
But resistant to deep thought or poetry, children of today laugh only at jokes about farts.
How long ago they now seem, those happy days when the Yark could gorge on vitamin-rich children. For the present day has adulterated not only the child’s soul. Laden with industrial products, the modern child has lost its nutritional value.
Its soft and flabby flesh now consists for the most part of cholesterol.
As for hygiene, deplorable is the word that leaps to mind. Children have become a hive of microbes, and prudence dictates that they be thoroughly boiled before serving at the table.
No, modern times are by no means easy for an ogre with a delicate stomach. And just as some species have fallen victim to the ravages of pollution, the loss of tender loving care and proper upbringings have pushed the Yark into the ranks of Monsters on the verge of extinction.
