Chapter Fourteen

The third night Brenna woke to screaming, the shrill voice shattering her dreams. It was like Odin’s ravens were screeching inside her head, calling down the heavens upon them.

Lucy was kneeling on her sleeping bag, hands clenched as she cried to the skies. Her short red hair was soaked with sweat as she stared at the tent ceiling, lips curled back from her teeth as she howled.

Helen wrapped her arms around the incoherent woman, hugging her tight as Lucy’s wide-eyed gaze dropped to Brenna, looking right through the Valkyrie.

Brenna moved in, watching to make sure Lucy didn’t lash out either at Helen or turn her anger on herself. She wished she could say this was alien to her, but it wasn’t. Sometimes her fellow Valkyries experienced this sort of paralyzing fear, the victim trapped in a hell of her own making.

They were swiftly retired from service.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Helen murmured, stroking Lucy’s cheeks and face. “Come on back, dear. Come on back to us. You’re safe and sound, and we’re all here for you.” She crooned a soft tune, a children’s song.

Brenna studied Lucy’s eyes, searching for some sign of recognition.

The tent flap flew open to show Erik, Mark, and Jake. The latter two wore boxer shorts and T-shirts, Erik wearing only a pair of track pants as usual. His eyes were wide as he stared at Lucy, trying to figure out what was going on. The other two men had strained but resigned looks on their faces.

“We’ve got her,” Helen said quietly but firmly. “Go start some coffee. ’Bout time we started getting up anyway.”

Brenna glanced at Erik and nodded her agreement as she wrapped her arms around Lucy, the woman shaking and shuddering against her.

Jake tugged on Erik’s arm, pulling him away. The canvas fell, closing the women off from the outside world.

Helen returned to caring for Lucy, who had stopped screaming and was now panting for air, her breath catching in short puffs.

“Fuck…fuck…” Lucy finally spoke, her voice a hoarse whisper. She stared at Helen with tears in her eyes, the blank stare replaced with an awareness of her surroundings. “I did it again, didn’t I?”

“Yeah. But we’re fine.” Helen looked across at Brenna. “No harm done.”

Brenna nodded. “We’re just worried about you.”

Lucy slumped against them.

Helen gestured. “Can you go grab a bottle of water, please? The cooler out on the table.”

Brenna gave Lucy one last hug before getting to her feet and heading outside.

The three men were there, hovering around the picnic table. Mark was smoking a cigarette, the first since their arrival.

“Damn it.” He shook his head. “I thought she was doing so well.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes wet. “It was going good there.”

Jake nodded. “Lucy has night terrors, ever since she mustered out.”

Erik frowned. “Any idea why?”

Mark spoke first. “She doesn’t know what triggers it. She saw some heavy combat—she was in Iraq. It just…” He made an exploding motion with his hands.

“You been with her long?” Erik asked.

“Nah. Met her at one of the meetings, chatted over coffee and cookies. Discovered we were in at the same time but on opposite sides of the country. When I signed up for this, I asked if she wanted to come along—she said she liked the idea of getting some fresh air. Got family on the East Coast, add in a visit.” He looked at the bright red edge of his smoke like it was a strange bug. “She has her good times and bad times.” He didn’t look at the tent. “Tonight’s one of her bad times.”

“This is why we don’t get a hotel room,” Jake offered. “First night out, she broke down, cops ended up pounding on the door. Manager thought someone was being murdered. We had to check out early and slept in the van. After that, we made different arrangements.” He gave an angry nod. “Couldn’t leave her behind.”

“She offered to quit,” Mark said. “I told her she was staying right where she was. We were always going to camp out a few times along the way, just made it easier by making it every night. We always try to reserve the site furthest away from the other campers.” He shook his head. “Helen’ll calm her down. She’s fine once she wakes up and gets where she is.”

Brenna frowned. “Can’t anyone help her?”

Jake eyed her. “We can. By supporting her.” He went to a nearby cooler and picked out a bottle of water. “Helen sent you out for this. Lucy will have a sore throat.”

Brenna took it and headed back in, her head spinning.

Lucy sat on the sleeping bag, still in Helen’s arms. Her shoulders were slumped, and her hair stuck to her wet face.

She gave Brenna a sheepish smile. “Sorry ’bout that.” She scrubbed her eyes. “Lord, I hate when this happens. I feel like such an idiot.”

Brenna smiled. “Nothing to be sorry for.” She handed her the bottle. “Listen to me. You should never apologize for anything you do or say when this happens. Never.”

Helen frowned as Lucy sipped the cold drink, staring at Brenna.

Brenna sat cross-legged in front of Lucy. “In certain cultures, women aren’t allowed to fight. They’re expected to stay home and care for the children, to serve in their own way. No one should think less of them because of what they do—but there are always jerks who figure a woman isn’t strong. Not capable.” She smiled. “Ever see a mother wolf protecting her pups?”

Lucy gave a weary chuckle. “Seen pictures of it.” She glanced at Helen. “Saw a dog stand up for her litter against another stray dog. ’Bout ripped his head off.”

“Exactly.” Brenna nodded. “We are made of strong stuff. Those who insult us and think we’re weak do so at their peril. You are a warrior woman. You should never be ashamed of who you are and what you’ve done. Never.” She reached out and took Lucy’s cold, clammy hands. “Bear your scars with pride. Inside and out. They make you what you are, unique in the world. In the universe. Never let anyone tell you you’re a lesser being because of them. Including yourself.”

Lucy studied her, her forehead furrowed. Her lips twisted up, and she gave a short nod.

Helen cleared her throat. “I’ll go check if the guys have started breakfast yet or if they’re still standing around, telling war stories.”

Lucy smiled, an honest if small smile, and nodded. “I’ll be out in a few minutes to help.”

Helen squeezed Lucy’s shoulder before pulling on her shoes and rising to a crouch, preparing to exit.

She patted Brenna’s arm on the way out.

“I…” Lucy let out a long, deep breath. “Thank you. For what you said.”

“I told you the truth.” Brenna began to roll her sleeping bag up. “That’s all.”

“How did you know what to do?” Lucy asked. “I mean…” Her voice dwindled to a whisper. “I used to bunk with a friend until I woke her up a few nights in a row with this. She worked as a nurse; she needed her sleep. I was going to come home anyway. This just pushed the decision up. Threw what I had into storage when I got the call from Mark.”

Brenna paused, unsure how much to say. “I’ve seen women react like that after witnessing horrible things.”

“So…” The veteran swallowed hard. “How do they get over it?”

“They push on through and come out the other side, stronger for it.” She reached out and touched Lucy’s cheek. “I see your strength. I believe you can survive this.”

A weak smile appeared. “That makes one of us. But thank you for your support.”

“What do you talk about?” Brenna asked. “When you do the presentations.”

Lucy drew a ragged breath. “I was in Afghanistan, part of a unit that dealt with women.” She scrubbed her eyes again. “We tried to help where we could but…” Her voice trailed off.

Brenna rubbed her back in silence, offering what support she could.

…

Erik busied himself with cleaning up the campground and packing the van. He glanced over as Lucy emerged from the tent with a red and damp face but looking otherwise unharmed.

Brenna followed a few minutes later carrying her rolled bag. Erik resisted the urge to charge over to her, biding his time. She looked fine, her short blonde hair pulled back into a small ponytail, barely enough to warrant the elastic.

More than fine. Even after all that, there was a quiet beauty and dignity about her, a silent strength that made her even more desirable.

Erik bit the inside of his cheek, trying to banish the thought.

After breakfast, he caught up to her, waiting outside the bathroom for her to come out.

She raised an eyebrow as she walked over to him, tucking her hands into the front pockets of her jeans. “You afraid I’m still thinking of running away?”

“No.” He nudged a thumb back at the van. “How’s Lucy doing?”

“Better.” Brenna let out a wistful sigh. “Nightmares can really mess you up.” She shook her head. “I’ve had some that shook me to the core. Took some time to get back up, fly straight again.”

He leaned on the tree behind him. “I didn’t know Valkyries dreamed.”

“I told you about replacing a sister who retired. I’ve seen them leaving the barracks bearing the weight of the worlds on their shoulders. This is not a job for the weak-hearted.”

He crossed his arms. “Not the same thing. You fly around the battlefield and pick up souls. Lucy and the others, they’ve bled and almost died for their cause.”

She moved closer, way inside his personal space. “And your doctors and nurses, they don’t suffer any trauma when they deal with the results of the bullets and shells, the knives and bayonets? Your commanding officers who order men to their deaths and stand with grieving widows at freshly dug graves, are they immune from feeling any of this?”

The wood dug into his back, the thin T-shirt offering little protection.

“My sisters and I, we come to you at the very end of your life. When you’re crying because you know you’re never going to see your wife again or your children because your last breath is coming.” Her eyes filled with tears, ripping at his heart. “Or worse, you think you’re going to be the lucky one to survive, the kid who never quits. You don’t believe you’re dying until you land in Valhalla with your friends and will never be going back home again.” She poked him in the chest, hard. “Don’t tell me I can’t sympathize with Lucy when she wakes up crying and screaming.”

He grabbed her hand as she went to poke him again. “I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I was wrong. I never thought of it like that. I just…” He shook his head. “I don’t like to see anyone suffer.”

“Neither do I,” Brenna said, her voice softer now. “That’s why I do what I do.” She drew back, her eyes widening. “Or did. I don’t know what’s going to happen now.”

“That makes two of us.” He entwined their fingers together.

She let out a soft laugh, staring into his eyes.

For a second Erik thought she was going to lean in and kiss him, the attraction between them almost palpable.

“Hey,” Lucy called from the campground. “You two coming or what?” She nudged Helen who stood beside her and whispered something, covering her mouth with one hand.

The two women laughed as Brenna turned toward them, wagging a finger at them and saying something under her breath.

Erik smiled as he pushed off from the tree.

It might not be a perfect world, but for now it was okay.