Kait closed the folder and laid it on the dash of the Minotaur, clicking off the flashlight.
The sky to the east had turned a dark pale shade of purple.
Dawn already? She rubbed her eyes. Took a swig of water from the canteen. Leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
Sleep wouldn’t come. How could it? After all she’d just learned, there was no way her brain would let her have a moment of rest now. Which was good, she supposed. One less night without the dreams.
Her mind drifted back to her childhood again.
* * *
The bedroom was dark, heavy drapes pulled across the windows to block out the blinding summer sun.
A lone lantern sat on the floor beside his bed, dimmed to its lowest setting. It cast her father in shades of warm yellow and deep shadow. Shadows much deeper than they had been even a week ago,Kait realized. He hadn’t eaten in all that time, save for a few gulps of broth that he mostly coughed up.
“It won’t be long now.”
That’s what the village healer had said. That had been four days ago.
Looking at her father, Kait wished it had been quick. This was a new realization. A mature thought, she somehow knew. Not fit for a ten-year-old. She was supposed to want her father to somehow pull through, or to stay with them as long as possible, but she recognized the selfishness of that, and thought it was an awful state of mind.
All that mattered was Dad, and he was suffering. Everyone could see that. No one wanted to say it. They wanted him to fight.
Kait wanted him to find peace. To not have to live with this pain a moment longer.
Last night a terrible thought had entered her mind, yet she couldn’t bring herself to hate her own brain for conjuring the image. Kait, leaning over her father, a hand clasped over his mouth and nose. She knew he would welcome it. Thank her, with his eyes if not words. He hadn’t spoken in days, after all. Coughing—that ugly, wet, hacking cough—was all that was left for Dad.
“Mom,” she said, very quietly, very carefully.
Gabe was asleep and didn’t stir.
“Yes?” Reyna asked. She was holding her amulet, rubbing it with her thumbs, lost in old memories. They’d been sitting side by side for hours in silence, watching him. Watching him suffer, watching him die.
“What do they mean?” she asked. “His tattoos.”
There were two, one on each shoulder blade. On the left, a skull, and words around it: “Gatka Ridge. Never Forget.”
On the other, a soldier against an island sunset. “Wyatt” written underneath, and a date.
“He never really told me,” Reyna said. “Something from his past. A time he doesn’t care to talk about.”
Minutes passed by. Too slow. Miserably slow.
“I… I hate seeing him like this,” Kait said carefully.
“Me too, Kaitie. Me too.”
Kait bit her lip, unsure if she should bring up the idea. The dream.She decided to try. For Dad.
“Last night I had this nightmare.”
Reyna tensed, but made no reply. She waited instead.
Kait went on. “I… ended this. For him. I… like when a dog is old and sick, and… I…” She couldn’t stop the tears.
Reyna seemed to relax. She put a hand on Kait’s knee, and Kait grasped it with her own. Their fingers intertwined, white-knuckled.
“It’s okay, hon,” Reyna said. “It’s a normal thought. A good one.”
“I mean…” Kait started again, trying to will the tears away and somewhat succeeding. “I mean, don’t you think Dad would want that? This… this isn’t him.”
“It’s not that simple.” Reyna squeezed her hand a bit harder.
“Why not?” Kait asked, more urgently than she’d intended. It came out like a petulant child’s question, and she regretted it instantly.
Reyna shot her a glare, the kind that said Kait should be quiet and learn something. It was a glare Reyna often sent in her direction, but this time it softened, then vanished as quickly as it had appeared. Her mother sighed, then took Kait’s hand in both of hers, lifted it to her lips, and kissed it.
“If it were me,” Reyna said, “if it’s ever me, Kait, don’t wait like this. Okay? I don’t want to suffer.”
“Then why—”
“Because we’re waiting for someone.”
That caught Kait off guard.
“We’re waiting,” Reyna said again, and a tinge of anger crept into her voice, “ for your uncle.”
“I… wait… uncle? What are you talking about?”
At that moment Gabe erupted into a racking cough. Flecks of blood and bile shot from his mouth and nose, spraying over the blanket that covered his impossibly thin frame. The coughing went on and on. Reyna and Kait tried to hold him down, powerless to do anything more than that.
Finally, after what seemed like an hour but was probably only a minute or two, the fit passed. He settled back into his feverish sleep. There was sweat on his brow. Without thinking, Reyna wiped it away with a damp cloth.
“Your father’s brother,” Reyna said after several minutes of silence. “Oscar is his name.”
“Why haven’t I ever met him before?”
“Because he’s never been here before. Because he’s a drunk. A stubborn asshole…” She took a deep breath. “Sorry. I can’t stop myself sometimes.”
“It’s okay.” Kait tried to process everything her mother was telling her. “If all that’s true, why are we waiting for him?”
“Simple,” Reyna replied. “Because your father asked.”
* * *
And so they waited. Another day. Two.
But her father couldn’t wait any longer than that.
They were sitting there, Kait and her mother, when his chest finally rose, then fell, then did not rise again. Despite all the sorrow and grief, Kait couldn’t deny that part of her that was glad the suffering had ended. Finally. And she couldn’t deny the anger she felt at this uncle she’d never met, because Gabe had gone through this for him, and the asshole still hadn’t come.
She and Reyna were pulling the blanket over Gabe’s face when the door opened, and a large figure in shadow stood in the entry.
Stood, then fell to his knees, and howled with grief.
* * *
Kait shuddered. She’d never really known or understood what had happened between them, but after what she’d just read, it wasn’t too hard to draw conclusions. Whether either of them had known it or not, it was Wyatt that had been the glue holding the two brothers together, and when he died, both of them had changed.
When Oscar finally came to find Gabe, heeding the message Reyna had sent him months earlier, a message to which he’d never replied, he was too late.
Kait realized, now, that Oscar had been in the process of turning his life around. As a result he’d missed that final chance to say goodbye, and speak with his brother one last time. It had driven him right back to the state he’d been in after Wyatt’s death.
She thought of all the time she’d spent with Oscar over the years. He’d stayed, after that. Despite Reyna’s constant anger, he’d stayed. Joined their village, cut his ties with the COG just as Gabe had done.
It took almost a year, but eventually he’d proven himself to Reyna. The two of them would become like brother and sister, but it didn’t happen overnight. Far from it.
Oscar helped raise Kait, tried to be the father figure in place of his brother. It was something he was never really great at, and she’d always blamed the bottle that was never far from his reach.
She could forgive him of that, now, she thought. Decided she would tell him so, when they met again.
They would meet again, she decided.
Riftworm was on the list of Outsider villages Jinn wanted her to visit. Kait had tucked it at the end, because she’d known what Oscar’s answer would be.
Or thought she’d known, at least.
But maybe, just maybe, with everything she’d just learned about Gabriel Diaz, she could find a way to let Oscar back in. If he wanted to, of course.
He probably wouldn’t.
Stubborn old bastard.
Still, she decided she would try. She had to try, and it would be nice to see the twins again, too. Eli and Mackenzie. She’d heard they were flourishing there.
“You’re not actually asleep, are you,” Del said. Not a question. He’d switched places with Pasco sometime during the night. Kait didn’t remember when.
She opened one eye and glanced at him. “How’d you know that?”
“If you were asleep, you’d be snoring, Kait.”
“Bullshit!”
He spread his hands. “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but yeah… it’s like someone’s sawing logs. Big logs.”
She kicked his shin, hard.
“Hey! Don’t shoot the messenger!” Rubbing at his leg with one hand, he held out a ration for her. “Made you breakfast. I think it’s supposed to be pancakes.”
Kait looked at the mush in the flat package. At least it was hot. She wolfed it down.
Sitting beside her, eating the same gritty paste, Del pointed at the file on the dashboard with his fork. “What’s that?”
“My dad’s file,” Kait said.
“No shit?”
“No shit.”
“How’d you get it? Actually, never mind, I don’t want to know.” He could see the TOP SECRET stamp clearly, and knew what it might mean if he looked inside. But then he shifted, and a quizzical expression crossed his features. “I thought your dad was a mechanic? Why’s his file so big? And why’s it all, ‘Top Secret’?”
“He was a mechanic,” Kait said, “but before that he was a lieutenant colonel. A Gear. Some place called Vectes.”
“Wait, I’ve heard of it. I thought that was a Navy base. What was he doing there?”
“Some kind of joint operation.” She took the file and put it back into her rucksack. “Can we talk about something else?”
Del thought about it. “What do you think JD will have to say for himself when he recovers?”
“Errr… can we talk about my dad again?”
Del laughed. Paused. Then laughed again. “What, you think that’s what JD will say?”
Despite herself she laughed with him, though there was little energy behind it. Quickly the cab of the Minotaur became silent again.
“I really don’t understand what’s gotten into him lately,” Del said, “and I feel like every time I try to talk to his comatose face about it, Fahz is there. Or Jinn. Hell, sometimes both.”
“Ugh, yeah. I know what you mean.”
“I feel like… if I could just talk to him… really talk to him… he deserves a chance to explain.” A wind picked up outside, peppering the side of the Minotaur with grit and dust. Kait shivered, despite herself. This was a bleak place to have to wait.
“We should go see Oscar soon,” she said. “Riftworm.”
“But I thought—”
“I know what I said before, but after reading that,” she pointed at the file, “I just need to talk to him, face to face.”
“It’s not what you said before, Kait. It’s Oscar. I didn’t get the impression he wanted us going up there, unless we meant to stay.”
“Yeah, well, that’s his way of doing things. I think it’s time I tried my dad’s way, instead.”
“Can we take Jack? Please?” He batted his eyelids, emphasizing the word.
“Ugh.”
“Don’t you miss the little guy?”
“Not really.”
Lights appeared in the distance. They both tensed at the same time. She’d hoped for helicopters, but on the road ahead, trundling toward them, were several Minotaurs. Beside them, striding confidently, was a Mega Mech.
“Here comes salvation,” Del said, and he opened the door.