His head dipped toward hers.
Her sharp intake of breath revved his pulse.
With a flutter of lashes, her eyes closed.
Softly, sweetly his lips caressed hers. Too soon, he ended the kiss.
As if she wasn’t sure her legs would support her, she leaned in to him.
With a ragged breath, Hayden gently pushed her away. “I have to go home. Now.”
“Good idea.” She giggled.
He unlocked the door for her.
With a wave, she stepped inside.
Finally, he’d given in to the feelings tumbling within him, and she’d gone all soft and vulnerable on him, making him want to hold her closer and longer.
He turned and leapt off the porch, clicking his heels together in the air.
It was Brady’s first day in second grade. Hayden followed Brady and Scott through the doors of the elementary school. Though it was a different school, the shiny industrial tile, lockers, and classroom doors brought back memories. Justin and Mike waited just inside.
They all bumped fists then the four boys continued down the hall.
Longing to follow, Hayden hung back.
Brady stopped and turned his chair. “You can go, Hayden. I know my way around.” So serious, so grown-up.
Swallowing the large lump in his throat, Hayden nodded. “See you after school.”
As he walked out and across the parking lot, his cell played “Please Mr. Postman.” Laken’s ringtone. Knowing she cared made him smile. “Hey.”
“How’d it go?”
His insides jellied at the sound of her voice. “He didn’t need me. We found his friends, and I was dismissed.”
“You poor baby.” She laughed. “He was trying to act tough, but he needs you. So do I.”
His mouth went dry. “I think I’ll come spend my day off at the post office.”
“Under the circumstances, not a good idea. My head’s clearer than it was last night.”
“Lunch?”
“I think we should wait until I move to a permanent position before we go out again.” All the enthusiasm drained from her tone.
She was right, but he wanted to see her. Every day, every night, for the rest of their lives. “Dinner Friday night?”
She laughed. “Did you hear what I said? Besides, I can’t make it.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I hope. Collin’s coming back. I asked for the day off, and we’re going to see Mother and Father that morning.”
“Still no clue what it’s about?”
“None.”
“I’ll be praying.” He leaned back against the headrest, missing her even though he’d see her at work tomorrow. He definitely had it bad. “I have to work Saturday, since I’m off today, but we could do something Saturday night.”
“Not if I’m still your boss, but I’ll be working Saturday, too. Gotta go, I’ve got a customer coming.” The line went dead.
He hung up. He loved seeing her twice a day but wanted more. Lord, speed up a permanent position. But what if the post office moved her far away? Or what if she got demoted because of him?
As Collin drove, nearing Searcy, Laken stared out the passenger window. The farmhouses, pickup trucks, and cedar trees surrounded by leaning hay-fields faded into nothingness in her delirious mind’s eye. Hayden wanted to spend time with her. A sensitive, solid, dependable hunk cared about her. A warm ripple bubbled through her stomach.
It had been a long week and weird. Last Friday night, she’d gone out with Hayden for the first time. And what a kiss.
This week, she’d only seen him at work. Funny how she could see him twice a day at the post office and miss him. But at work, they barely spoke, careful not to let any feelings show.
“You’re sure Martin hasn’t drunk anything today?” Collin’s words snatched her thoughts.
“Mother said he promised.”
Collin blew out a deep breath. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“So, Brady was awfully quiet about the trip. Everything go okay?”
“Fine. While I worked, he played video games. The system Hayden has is outdated, so Brady got to play lots of new, better games.”
Laken rolled her eyes. “You didn’t even take him swimming or to a basketball game.”
“There wasn’t time. By the time I finished work, just getting Brady ready for bed was a major accomplishment.” Collin turned into their parents’ drive.
Mother’s prize roses climbed pristine trellises in front of an immaculate two-story house. The neighborhood children didn’t dare play on the grass, which didn’t dare grow longer than a quarter of an inch. Nary a flower petal littered the yard, and everyone who stepped foot inside took their shoes off, while the housekeeper constantly toiled at perfection.
A muscled man hoisted a bag of potting soil on his shoulder toward a flower bed. Catching his gaze, Laken smiled, just to be nice. No response. He turned away and set the bag down, then knelt to open it. Probably not used to anyone acknowledging him.
With a glance at the house next door, memories flooded Laken. She’d spent half her childhood there. Sara’s parents were warm and nurturing, everything Laken’s family hadn’t been. Though still well-kept, the house seemed dimmer and duller, just knowing Sara would never visit again.
She, Grace, and Sara had spent hours dreaming of their futures. Husbands, babies, careers. While Sara achieved the first two, for a short time, Grace was over halfway there. So far, Laken had only accomplished the last. Could she grab the rest of her dreams with Hayden?
Staying on the sidewalk, Laken followed Collin single file. They stepped onto the columned porch that boasted an outdoor table with perfectly aligned place mats, like something straight out of a magazine. Laken pressed the glowing button beside the door.
The bell pealed and only moments passed before the heavy mahogany door swung open. A woman in a blue maid’s uniform curtsied a greeting. “Why, Miss Laken, Mister Collin, I don’t believe my eyes. I heard y’all were both hanging around Rose Bud, but I never dreamed you’d show up here.”
“Trust me.” Collin winced. “It’s not our choice. We’ve been summoned.”
“It’s good to see you, Sharlene.” Laken kissed the powdery cheek of the woman who’d driven them to school, taken them to the park, and forced broccoli on them while Mother dallied with her roses, her bridge club, and fancy luncheons.
Without being told, she and Collin slipped their shoes off and left them on the throw rug. The foyer hadn’t changed. Wood floors stained in a light finish, white walls topped with crown molding. Flowing gold draperies flanked wide windows on each side of the door. The living room began to the right. All done in white and gold, it didn’t look like anyone lived there.
To the left, an oversized table with over a dozen matching chairs filled the dining room. Double doors led from the dining area to the kitchen, where Sharlene had helped Collin with homework and taught Laken to cook.
“Your mother and father told me we were expecting guests, but I didn’t know the guests were family.” Sharlene led the way. “They’re both in the drawing room.”
“Is it just me,” Collin whispered, “or have we stepped into a different century?”
Laken elbowed him. Double doors parallel to the entry led to what most people would call a den. But Mother called it the drawing room.
Sharlene opened both doors.
Mother perched on a white camelback sofa, reading a society magazine. She gave Sharlene no acknowledgment, keeping the lowly servant in her designated place.
Father hunched next to her. Old and beaten. He’d always looked beaten, but he’d aged beyond his years. His once dark hair now silvered, his blue eyes sunken, his skin sallow.
“Miss Sylvie, your guests have arrived.”
Only then did Mother’s gaze rise. “Laken, Collin, we’re so glad you could come.”
Compassion slithered through Laken’s hardened heart. “Father.” She kissed his cheek and caught a whiff of alcohol. Drinking or not, over the years, the sweetly soured odor had embedded in his flesh.
“Sharlene.” Mother snapped her fingers. “Bring us a tea tray.”
Neither of them liked hot tea, and Mother knew it.
“Laken dear, do you like what we’ve done with the house?”
Nodding, Laken surveyed the austere white furnishings, white walls, and white carpet with matching billowy curtains. Too cold and too perfect. Where could Brady play? So stuck on faking blue-blooded, upper-crust wealth, Mother missed out on the living part.
Who was she kidding anyway? This house was no place for Brady. Not with Father and his constant drinking.
Sharlene silently reentered the room, and with practiced precision set the tray on the coffee table and poured four cups of steaming liquid. As the double doors closed behind the maid, Mother made a great show of adding sugar cubes, milk, and honey before the taste test. With her pinky at elegant attention, Mother let out a satisfied sigh. “Please, sit down.”
Laken sat in a white velvety wingback on Father’s side, while Collin claimed its twin beside Mother.
“Why did you ask us to come?” Collin huffed out an irritated sigh.
With a shaky hand, Mother set her teacup back in the saucer with a clatter. “Your father and I have something to tell you.”
“So, get on with it,” Collin snapped.
Father’s gaze skewered Collin. “You and Laken have a brother.”
“Excuse me?” Laken whirled toward Mother.
Mother covered her face with both hands. “It’s true. I got pregnant between my junior and senior years in high school.”
“Who’s the father?” Collin deadpanned.
“I am.” Father jabbed a finger at Collin. “And you will watch your mouth.”
“We were so in love.” Mother sobbed. “But my parents didn’t approve.”
Father grabbed his cup of tea. With his hand trembling much worse than Mother’s, he downed the steaming liquid. His face twisted, and, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Her parents tried to keep us apart.”
“But the more they tried, the more determined we were to be together and, well…” Mother turned both hands palms up and shrugged. “Needless to say, they weren’t happy when I told them I was pregnant. They gave me two choices.”
Father jittered more, obviously needing something to drink. “Abortion or adoption.”
Laken’s stomach sank. How could loving parents pose such a choice? Loving parents couldn’t. It wasn’t Mother’s fault the way she was—cold, elegant, perfect. Laken had rarely seen her grandparents, and the few times she had, they’d seemed stiff and uncaring. Mother’s parents had raised her that way, and when she’d messed up their perfect little plan, she’d paid.
“You said we have a brother.” Laken’s voice quivered. “So obviously, you chose the second option. Where is he?”
“I don’t know.” Mother’s shoulders slumped.
Father wrapped his arms around her, tears streaming down his face.
Laken’s jaw dropped. Never had she seen Father show emotion or offer comfort.
“By then, my father was running my grandfather’s pharmaceutical company in Little Rock. We moved there to avoid scandal.” Mother’s words came in bursts between hiccupped sobs. “No one in Searcy knew I was pregnant, except Martin. My parents told me to forget him, that he’d already moved on to his next conquest by the time the baby came. They home-schooled me and kept me out of the public eye until after our son’s birth.”
“You abandoned him?” Collin spat.
“Not by choice.” Mother pressed trembling fingers to her lips. “I wanted him to live.”
“Collin, please.” Laken closed her eyes. “The important thing is that we have a brother. How will we find him?”
Mother took the monogrammed handkerchief Father offered and dabbed her eyes. “My parents always donated heavily to the children’s home in Little Rock that our church in Searcy sponsored. So I had a suspicion they took him there.”
“Did they?” Collin’s voice cracked, a chink in his steel facade.
“As soon as your mother came back here and we married, we started trying to find him.” Father’s tone echoed anguish. “But by then, our boy had been adopted out.”
“My parents disowned me, so we couldn’t afford a lawyer. By the time my grandmother talked them into letting me have my trust fund and giving Martin a job in the family company, our son was six. We decided it would be too jarring for him to fight for custody.” Mother cupped Father’s cheek in her hand, wiping his tears. “Your father’s heart never recovered.”
So he pickled what was left of it in alcohol. The grandfather clock ticked in the silence.
“What do we have to go on?” Collin rubbed the back of his neck.
“I spoke with the director of the children’s home.” Mother dabbed her eyes. “Since your grandparents set up trust funds for you both, Martin and I set up a trust fund for our first son with part of my inheritance and invested the rest. We put the papers, my grandmother’s pearl necklace, and a letter in a safe deposit box, with some cash. The director promised to give the adoptive parents the key. Our son became eligible to claim the trust fund on his thirtieth birthday.”
Collin chuckled. “I bet the director cashed in on that.”
“The home is run by a church, and the director is an upstanding Christian man.” Father’s glare silenced Collin’s laughter. “Besides, no one can claim the trust without our son’s original birth certificate.”
Mother took a steadying breath. “Over the years I’ve periodically checked the safe deposit box. Each time, everything was still there. On your brother’s thirtieth birthday, I stayed in a hotel in Little Rock and waited at the bank for three days straight. Since then, I’ve checked weekly. Last month, I discovered it’s empty.”
Laken’s pulse leapt. “Did they give you a name?”
“No, all records are confidential.” Mother dabbed her eyes. “I made sure the nurse put both my name and Martin’s on the birth certificate, and my parents let me name him. I guess to appease me. His original birth certificate identifies him as Martin Rothwell Kroft Jr., but the director said adoptive parents often rename infants. My letter gave our names and whereabouts. I’m praying he’ll contact us. But so far, nothing. I’ve hired a private detective.”
“Drink your tea, darling.” Father almost spilled the cup as he handed it to Mother.“It’ll help settle your nerves.”
“I’ve put my story on the Adoption Registry.” Mother’s voice trembled. “But our son will have to register to see it.”
The pain in Mother’s eyes gnawed at Laken.
A nerve-shattering, echoing gong nearly launched Laken through her skin. Nine more gongs followed as the clock struck ten.
“Basically, we have nothing to go on.” Collin stood. “I guess we could put an ad in the paper: Thirty-year-old man with a trust fund, a pearl necklace, and a wad of cash. Have you seen him?”
Laken rolled her eyes. Why did he have to make everything worse? “Let’s go, before you twist the fork any deeper.” She stood and linked her arm through Collin’s, urging him toward the door. “We’ll do everything we can to help. And, Mother…”
“Yes, dear.”
“Thanks for telling us the truth.”
Mother blinked away more tears.
“And, Father, thanks for keeping your promise.”
He gave a sharp nod. But Laken knew as soon as they left, he’d be in the liquor cabinet.
Laken sat at the kitchen table, cupping her hands around her ceramic coffee mug. The plain wall clock ticked the slow passage of time. Collin hadn’t said a word since they’d left Mother and Father. She didn’t know what to say to him.
Her cell phone played “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours.” Hayden. Her heart warmed, along with her face. So that’s what he’d been doing the day he borrowed her phone on his lunch break. She didn’t look at Collin, knowing he’d make fun of the song. “Hello.”
“Hey. You okay?”
“Yeah.” She stepped down the hall and lowered her voice, uncomfortable with Collin listening. “It wasn’t bad, just sort of weird. I’ll tell you all about it as soon as I get a chance.”
“My offer’s still good for dinner tomorrow night.”
“I’d love to.” If only Hayden could come over for coffee and comfort. She could go to his house, but Brady would be there and she didn’t want to leave Collin alone. “But I need to hang out with Collin and he’ll be in Little Rock again next week, so he’s not leaving until Tuesday. I’ll see you at church and at work next week.”
“Is that all?” Disappointment resonated in his voice. “Couldn’t we at least have lunch after church? I need something to look forward to here.”
“I’m eating at Adrea and Grayson’s to discuss baptism. Besides, we’re still waiting on permanent placement, and I think I need to spend time with Mother over the next few days.”
“She’s not sick, is she?”
“No, but she’s having some problems. I really can’t talk right now, but surely things will ease up soon. I have to go.” She hung up and went back to the kitchen.
“Sorry to put a kink in your love life.” Collin paced. “Don’t feel like you have to stick close to the house on my account. I think I’ll go to Little Rock tonight.”
“No, you won’t. Hayden can wait.” She hated to put him off, but for now she had to concentrate on her semblance of a family.
She plopped into a chair at the table. “My opinion of Mother changed today.”
“Who’d have thunk it? An unwed pregnant teen certainly doesn’t fit the image she’s so carefully constructed.”
“Not that. I mean—do you realize if Mother had agreed to abort our brother, she could have lived in a mansion all these years with servants to wait on her hand and foot? Instead, she lived a middle-class lifestyle with one housekeeper and a yard man.”
“Yes, but she still enabled Father’s lifestyle. After his drinking got him fired from Grandfather’s company, her stock provided the funds for him to never lift a finger and enough alcohol to drown all his sorrows.”
“Ease up on her. You have to admit, she’s had it pretty rough. I mean—emotionally.”
His shoulders slumped, and he settled in the chair across from her.
“You okay?” She touched his hand. “What is it?”
“I just feel…Ugh, I hate talking about feelings.”
Laken grinned. “I won’t tell anyone. What’s going on?”
“All those years, Father took his frustrations out on me. I wasn’t the son he wanted. I was never good enough because he wanted the one that got away. While I was dying to get away.”
“Well, this new brother may have the same blood as we do, but nothing can sever our bond of being raised and neglected together.” She gave him a halfhearted smile. Despite their differences on Brady’s future, they were siblings in the truest sense. They’d shared a lifetime of struggles, triumphs, and disappointments. Mostly disappointments.
“My opinion of Martin changed tonight.” Collin’s voice cracked. “He’s more of a man than I’ve ever been.”
Laken frowned. “All he does is drink.”
“Which I don’t condone, but he was so devastated by the loss of his son, he grabbed the only escape route he could find. I was too big of a coward to marry the woman I loved, so I broke her heart and abandoned my child.”
Laken squeezed his hand. “Once you learned about him, you came back for him. That counts for something.”
Collin raised a cocky eyebrow. “Are you beginning to see that Brady belongs with me?”
“I didn’t say that.” She shook her head. “I agree that you should have a place in your son’s life. A close place, but uprooting Brady would be a mistake.”
“I don’t feel at home here anymore. My home is in California.”
“What do you have there, Collin? Here, you have a son.” She ticked off the list on her fingers. “Me, along with parents taking tentative steps to make things right, and a close-knit, family-oriented community. What more could you ask for? You could even live here and commute to Little Rock or Searcy. Either way, it’s only a forty-five-minute drive.”
Collin stared out the kitchen window as the icemaker clattered cubes into the bin. Shaking his head, he muttered, “The cost of moving wouldn’t be feasible. I couldn’t make near the money here.”
“But the cost of living here is less and money isn’t everything, Collin. Even if it was, you’re two years away from your trust fund. And think of what moving to California would cost Brady. He’s just a child.”
He checked his watch and stood. “I have to make an important call.” Laken’s shoulders slumped. Lord, help me make him see.
As Laken’s car turned into her drive, Hayden’s insides melted. Two weeks ago, he’d kissed her, but he’d barely seen her since, except at work, where they couldn’t talk, much less touch.
He jumped up from his seat on her porch steps and hurried to open her door. “Hey.”
Swollen, red eyes tore at his soul.
Gathering her in his arms, he kissed the top of her head. “Is Collin gone?”
“I just saw him off. What are you doing here?”
“You’ve barely said two words at work, and I couldn’t seem to get near you. I was hoping you missed me and you might need me.”
“I’m sorry I neglected you, but I felt like my family needed me. Trying to keep my distance from you is torment.” Her voice wobbled. “I do need you.”
“Good, I was worried you might listen to that pretty little head instead of your heart.”
She looked up at him with tears brimming. “I have another brother.”
“Another brother?”
“My mother, the paragon of virtue, got pregnant before she and Father married.” She pulled away from him and turned toward the house. “Can you believe it? All these years, she’s broadcasted everyone’s secrets while she sat on a doozy of her own.”
Hayden took the keys from her shaky fingers and unlocked the door. “You need coffee.”
“My grandparents put him up for adoption, but he knows who his birth parents are.”
In the tidy living room, Hayden pulled her into his arms. “Maybe he’ll show up, then.”
“He’s known for a month.” She snuggled close, muscles tensed. “Maybe he doesn’t want to find us, but how will we ever find him? There’s nothing to go on.”
“Was your father there?”
“He didn’t drink a drop, but he smelled like a distillery.” She pulled away from him and paced the small kitchen. “His drinking stemmed from losing his son.”
Hayden swallowed hard. “I can see how something like that could drive a man to drink.”
“Mother hired a private detective.” Laken wrapped her arms around herself. “But if we can’t get into the adoption records, I doubt he can. We’ll probably have to go to court to get them opened, and we still may not be able to do it.”
“I’ll be there, right by your side, whatever comes our way.”
She stopped pacing. “I know, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me.” She traced her fingertips across his cheek, sending tremors through him. “How’s Brady?”
“I think he was bored with Collin.” He grinned. “It made the selfish part of me happy.”
“Collin just has to see that Brady is better off here.” Doubt reflected in her gaze. “I’ve been praying for him to see that.”
If she doubted, how could he keep hoping? He had to prepare himself for losing Brady. And prepare Brady.
“I’m glad you’re a praying woman. Really glad.” Hayden curved his arms around her waist and brushed a light kiss across her lips. “Brady asked Collin to come to church next weekend since you’re getting baptized.”
“I hope he won’t be too disappointed when Collin doesn’t show up.”
“Actually, he agreed.”
Laken leaned into him, pressing her cheek against his revving heart. “Maybe Collin will hear something to turn him around. I wonder if I could get Father to come.”
He kissed the top of her head. “You can always ask.”
“Thanks for being here. I did need you.”
Symphonic harmony to his ears. He buried his nose in her coconutscented hair. “There’s no place I’d rather be.”
According to the thermometer outside Laken’s kitchen window, September hadn’t figured out that summer was over. Still in the lower nineties.
“Hello?” Father slurred a greeting over the phone.
Laken drummed her fingers on the kitchen counter, determination wavering. She sucked in a deep breath. “I wanted to invite you to church with us tomorrow.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Collin’s coming and Brady will be there. You haven’t even met him.” She sighed. “Father, I’d like to repair things. Wouldn’t you like to have a real family?”
Silent seconds ticked by.
“What’s that got to do with church?”
Everything. “Don’t you ever miss it, Father? You had some good friends at our old church. This one is smaller and everyone is so close. Grayson Sterling is the preacher, so you’d know someone there.”
“As I recall, some of my really good church buddies escorted me out of Graham Sterling’s church.”
If he hadn’t shown up drunk, they wouldn’t have had to. “Maybe getting back in church would help with—your problem.”
“I don’t have a problem.”
The connection went dead.
Laken jabbed the END button and closed her eyes, pressing the cool flip phone to her pounding forehead. I’m getting baptized and I wanted you to be there.
Laken tucked a still-damp tendril behind her ear as the altar call began. She’d read over every baptism in the Bible and asked Grayson countless questions. Though she hadn’t really expected it, it would have been nice to see a white dove like Jesus had.
Collin’s feet jittered as the altar call lengthened. Mother sat on Laken’s other side with Hayden and Brady nearby. If only Father had come. Maybe she should have had Brady call and ask.
Lord, please touch Collin. With Your love, melt the harsh, bitter wall of cynicism he’s built around himself.
The pleading song ended, and Mark gave the closing prayer. It was over. Collin hadn’t made a move. Would she ever get him back in church?
“Collin, I know your flight leaves soon.” Mother’s voice quivered. “But I was hoping you and Laken could bring Brady by for lunch at the house.”
“I’m headed to the airport as soon as I say good-bye to Brady.” Collin checked his watch.
“Laken?” Mother’s perfectly plucked eyebrows rose.
“Is Father…?”
Mother nodded.
“How about the Rambler Café?” Knight Hayden rode to the rescue. “Brady and I were going with my folks. Why don’t y’all join us?”
“That sounds nice.” Mother’s smile was genuine. “Really nice.”
“Can’t you come?” Brady’s tone pleaded with his father.
Collin checked his watch again and ruffled Brady’s hair. “I guess I can swing it.”
Laken stole a glance at Hayden. Devastation mirrored in his vivid eyes. Losing Brady just might break him.
The chill in the air had nothing to do with the official launch of autumn. Laken sank into her desk chair, certain her legs could no longer support her. She swallowed hard. “Yes, I understand. Thank you.”
She hung up. The transfer had come through. She and Hayden would no longer work side by side or see one another each day.
“What was that?” Carol asked.
Laken swiveled her chair.
Backs to their sorters, Carol and Hayden faced her.
“Hayden is getting promoted to postmaster.”
“Woo-hoo!” Carol clapped.
A worried frown winged Hayden’s eyebrows. “Where?”
“Here. You’re the new postmaster at this office.”
Carol gasped and punched Hayden in the shoulder. “You’ve gone and gotten Laken fired.”