Anna was still in a daze when she heard Jeanette and Lawren arrive. She stood up in a panic, wishing she could flee before they found her in the kitchen but she was trapped with the babe in her arms.
“There you are, Anna! So sorry we are later than we expected. How was the little one?”
Without looking at Anna, Jeanette reached over and took her child into her arms as if she had missed that weight the entire time she had been gone. She checked Anne’s diaper and picked up the baby’s bag saying she would be back in a minute after adjustments had been made.
Anna managed to force out an enquiry about the success of their search but she could not bring herself to raise her eyes above the level of Lawren’s leather jacket buttons.
“We found a perfect frame. It will need some work but I think it complements the painting perfectly.”
He stopped talking and Anna felt the tension in the room stretch to breaking point.
“What’s wrong? What has happened since I’ve been gone? Anna, look at me!”
The command was issued in combination with the grip of his hands on her shoulders. She forced herself to meet his worried gaze, all the while knowing that he would be able to read the guilt in her face.
“It ………I’m ………..” Her voice faltered and died as he searched her expression for clues.
It felt like a spotlight had been turned onto her. He was delving far further into her mind than he had any right to. She felt exposed and guilty and afraid and alarmed and inexplicably happy all at once.
Lawren simply bent forward and kissed her on the lips.
It was one of the most unexpected things that had ever happened to Anna Mason and she did not resist.
When she opened her eyes again, he was still standing there with a vulnerable look on his face that she had never seen before.
Neither one spoke for a while. They just stared at each other. In a way they were each seeing the other for the very first time.
Then the floodgates opened and they poured out feelings and apologies and regrets and frustrations and hopes and concerns and fears.
“I am older than you.”
“Not that much. In any case, who cares about age? What bothers me is that you have so much more to offer than I do. I have nothing.”
“No! You have talent and skill beyond belief, Lawren!”
“So you saw the painting?”
“How did you know?”
“I saw it immediately when you looked at me. Everything about you had changed.”
“You don’t hate me for it?”
After he had kissed her again, they sat down at the table, still holding hands, and tried to be more practical.
“What did you think?” His voice shook just a little and Anna knew she would have to be careful about her reply.
“I was overwhelmed. There is so much more there than mere surface detail. You poured your feelings into the canvas with every stroke.”
“I couldn’t find any other way to tell you how I felt. I was afraid we were growing further and further apart and I would lose you.”
“Lawren Drake, you have undoubtedly found me!”
They laughed together at Anna’s teacher tone then grew more serious as she asked about the painting.
“I could see that everything contributed to the story of Helen and me and this house but what were the other structures in the background?”
“They are also significant parts of her life. The castle is Stirling Castle near where she lived with her husband for many years and the large building further back is one of the Quarrier’s homes near Glasgow where she was sent when a child.”
“But, I never told you about those. How did you know and how did you find them?”
“Anna, you will have to believe the influence working in the night hours in this house has had on me.
I won’t say I heard voices but I certainly felt things, especially since Alina left.
Sometimes I walked outside in the dark just to get my head clear and I saw owls floating by. It was as if they brought me messages. I stood under your bedroom window and looked up and I thought I saw a pale face looking back at me. Emotions I had no claim to, would well up inside me and I experienced a deep sorrow at times.”
“Lawren, I can’t deny I have felt strange things here also. I don’t doubt you are right, but that doesn’t explain your knowledge of Helen’s past history.”
“Oh, that is much simpler to understand. You told me about George McLennan and how he had helped you, so I looked for his office on one of my Oban trips and he filled in the details, after referring to his wife, of course. I also discovered the local library where a kind old gentleman spoke highly of you, Anna, and helped me find the illustrations.”
“I knew nothing of this search. Why didn’t you ask me?”
“I was afraid to break the spell we were under. Being here together, and yet apart, seemed to clarify so much that I was feeling. I hesitated to reveal what I was doing.”
“My friends have a lot to answer for, I think.”
“Don’t be too hard on them, Anna. They have all been wonderful to me. Everyone I met in Oban knows you, and has a story about how you have helped the town’s people. I had no idea you were such a benefactress.”
“Please don’t credit me with that. It all came from Helen and her ideas. She knew Oban much better than I do. I really just followed her wishes.”
“You are too modest, by far. What about the Fair Isle Knitters Cooperative? I’m sure your relative did not start that venture.”
“Well, true enough! A Plus was responsible for initiating the business contact with a little help from Fiona.”
Lawren turned his face away at the sound of the words, ’A Plus’, but not fast enough for Anna to miss his expression of doubt.
“What’s wrong Lawren?”
“It’s just another reason why we are so ill matched financially. You have a thriving business as well as property in two countries.”
“Did Alina tell you about A Plus?”
“Yes, she did, and, frankly, it worries me more than anything else.”
“Well, you can stop worrying right now. Financial issues are not a priority for me and none of my friends would think any the less of you because you are an artist. They are not that shallow.”
“I hope you are right, although I have a feeling Alina might not agree with you, Anna.”
“So, you picked up on that, did you?”
They both laughed out loud. Alina had not exactly been subtle about her opinions.
“Don’t be concerned, Lawren. Alina wants the best for me and I am the one to decide on what, or who, that is. It’s early days yet for us. We have a long way to go before we need to be deciding on the future.”
Lawren heaved a sigh of relief. “Agreed! I need time to get used to the idea of us.”
“Exactly what I meant! It’s a long time since I was an ‘us’. We need to get to know each other and I can promise you right now, Mr. Drake, that the process will not be speedy as far as I’m concerned. I need to go slow on this.”
“Absolutely! I will not rush you, Ms. Mason, I swear.”
Jeanette returned just then with a happy baby in her arms, took one quick look at Anna and Lawren side by side, made an excuse and exited the house promptly.
Anna sighed. “The phone lines will be buzzing tonight, I fear. Jeanette could not miss the look on your face, or mine, for that matter.”
“Do you care?”
“Not a bit! And that, alone, proves how much you have changed me.”
Two days later when Alina returned to the McCaig Estate Farmhouse, Anna was beginning to recover from the emotional shocks of Lawren’s declaration of love. There had been uninterrupted hours of talk, walks up and down the lane, a visit to Bev and Alan’s, (where Anna got a huge hug from Bev that conveyed how much she already knew about the situation), and a ride into Oban where they managed their first walk around in public as a couple.
Lawren wisely left the friends alone to catch up while he did some restorative work on the antique frame for the painting.
Alina could hardly wait for him to leave by the back door.
“So, tell me everything!”
“No, you first!”
Having settled the order of revelations, Alina summarized her trip to Manchester by announcing that Philip had agreed to join her in Canada at some future date, after the London Olympics were over and his work commitments calmed down.
Anna was doubtful about this plan because she knew Philip’s visit out west to meet his half-brother, Simon, had not been a great success.
“I asked about that,” said Alina. “He told me he couldn’t cope with the large family in Calgary but was willing to give it a try with us, if you approved.”
Anna agreed readily, and thought how fortunate it was that they had purchased a condo in London, Ontario, with two separate suites on opposite sides of the building. Privacy was assured, should that be needed. Somehow she was having trouble imagining Philip sharing a bed with Alina, but that was equally as difficult to imagine as herself and Lawren in the same situation.
“Do you think it will work out for you two?”
“I don’t know yet. Philip needs to see me on my home ground just as I needed to see him on his. It won’t be a simple matter for us to get closer. Each of us has been alone for most of our lives and neither of us is an easy character to live with. We’ve both been used to our own way in most things.”
“We get along well, don’t we?’ asked Anna.
“Of course we do, but that’s entirely different. I don’t believe I’ll see Philip again before he makes it over to Canada. He talked of an emergency trip to Greece with his sister Lynn.”
“Glad to hear it. They need to get together.”
“Now, enough stalling, Anna! How did things progress with Lawren and what have you done about it?”
Anna proceeded to outline the events Alina had missed. It was no surprise to her friend, as she had caught the new atmosphere as soon as she saw Anna and Lawren together.
“I can’t explain everything, properly,” explained Anna, “I’m still processing it myself, but I know you will understand better when you see the finished painting. Lawren says it will be ready for inspection in a day or two.”
Alina looked deeply into her friend’s eyes and saw the changes already there.
“Is it love, Anna?” she asked.
“I think it might be, given some time, but I can tell you I am scared stiff about the implications of that.”
“Are you talking about sleeping with him?”
“That’s blunt, but it is certainly a concern and I imagine even more so for you, my dear.”
“Too true! You, at least, have been married before. What are you scared of?”
“Everything! He has promised to go slow but consider this; after Richard and I divorced I slept on the same side of the bed we had shared for years. It was ages before I moved into the centre of the bed, rearranged the pillows and took over the space. That story is a metaphor for the time it took for me to reclaim my life again. I had submerged myself in Richard. He was far too important to me and I was much too needy. It could be how I drove him away.”
“Oh, nonsense, Anna! You were far too good for him.”
“That’s as may be, but the point is, I cannot risk losing the person I am now. It has been much too difficult to gain back my independence and I like me this way. I could not bear to be consumed by a man again, even one as special as Lawren.”
“Have you told Lawren about all this?”
“Bits of it. There is a chance he feels the same. He’s an independent person also, in so many ways, and he needs space to get immersed in his art. He will keep his studio in London. We’ll have to see how it works out for all of us.”
“Don’t worry about me, Anna! I am already convinced he’s good for you. He makes you happy and that’s all I ask. Remember, we are all older and wiser than once we were. We understand about compromise and sharing and we know how fortunate we are to get even a chance at happiness later in life.”
“Yes, that’s all true. I suppose time will tell.”
They sat on opposite sides of the big kitchen table with a tray of tea things between them. Each woman was thinking of the changes the future might bring.
Alina, was feeling more objective since she was not yet committed to Philip in the same way that Anna was to Lawren. Her conclusion, as yet unspoken, was that the men would be required to make the compromises if they wanted to blend in with a very satisfactory lifestyle that Anna and she shared. She was unsure if either of the men involved was equipped to make those compromises. Her observations of men had led her to believe they were not as flexible as women. It all depended on whether or not Philip and Lawren really needed a woman in their lives.
Anna was thinking much the same things.
“Two changes I know for sure will happen when we get home to Canada,” she announced.
“What’s that?” asked Alina in surprise.
“One is, I’ll be looking for more glamorous nightwear to replace my usual warm pajamas and socks and the other change is that I’ll be heading to the gym, just in case.”
Lawren returned from the rear garden for a drink of water. He had been outside sanding old paint off the picture frame. He was met with the sound of wild laughter in the kitchen and beat a hasty retreat.
He was beginning to get the idea that these particular two women were, when together, a force to be reckoned with.