The workday is unending for Lauren. She stands behind the cash register and rings customers through without chitchat or any pleasantries. She is simply on autopilot and wishing for the day to be over. She is surrounded by coworkers: those she has known for the last four years and those who are new for the Christmas season. Many of the same customers make their way through her line and do their best to draw her into the world of the living, but she is unable to muster any interest or enthusiasm. Surrounded by people, she feels a loneliness she has never felt before. It is beyond loneliness; it is an emptiness that grows inside her chest. She slept little last night but kept replaying in her mind the time she spent waiting in the booth for her mother. She read the texts over and over hoping for a different outcome.
On her break she doesn’t open her e-mail. She blew off Mary Richards and Laura and can’t bear to read an e-mail from either one of them. She is supposed to be at Glory’s Place after work today but decides not to go. She is tired of hoping and longing. She is tired of being disappointed and walking around always wanting a different outcome but getting more of the same. Glancing around the break room with its plain walls and metal chairs, she is convinced that this will be as good as it gets.
* * *
Gloria stands beside her grocery cart scanning the shelves of food in front of her.
“Can I help you find anything, ma’am?”
It’s Maria Delgado and Gloria offers a quick hug. “Maria! How are you?”
“A little frazzled from pulling together both our move and the Christmas parade but it’s all good.”
Gloria sets Marshall’s favorite natural peanut butter into the cart. “Can you give me a little hint as to who it might be, Maria?”
Maria looks shocked. “Miss Glory! You know I can’t do that!”
“Is it okay if I voted at each location? If that’s not okay then I won’t admit that I did it.”
Maria laughs. “I think you’re well within the rules!” She hurries to the front of the store. “Sorry to run off. I’ll be late for a meeting with Les!”
“I wanted to tell you something about Cassondra’s box.”
“Is there something wrong with it?”
Gloria sees she is in a hurry and shakes her head. “Go on. We can talk another time.”
Maria waves and hurries to Les’s office. Ben is talking with him and Maria smiles. “Hi, Ben! How’s your day?”
“It’s great, Mrs. Delgado.”
She looks at Les and grins. “It is a great day, Ben! Thank you for reminding me of that!” She pauses, looking at him. “You are still coming to the Christmas parade, right?”
He is about to leave the office. “I have the day off. It’s written on my calendar at home and the one here at the store.”
She sets her purse down on the desk and folds her hands in front of her. “Ben, I came here to pick up the final votes for the grand marshal of the Christmas parade. Did you vote for anyone?”
He looks sheepish. “No, I didn’t, Mrs. Delgado. I always wanted to but then I kept getting busy. I can vote now if you want.”
Maria smiles. “Who would you vote for, Ben?”
“My dad or my mom.”
“Not for me?” Les says, spreading his arms out.
“I can vote for you, too, if I’m allowed to put that many votes in.”
Les and Maria laugh as she says, “That’s okay, Ben. The voting period is over now and I get to let everyone know who is going to be the grand marshal.”
“What does a grand marshal do, anyway?” Les asks.
She leans against the desk, folding her arms. “Well, the grand marshal sits in the carriage. You know, the tall red carriage that Mr. Lawson pulls with his horses?” Ben nods. “The grand marshal sits on top of that carriage and leads the parade, waving to everyone. He gets the parade started and sort of acts as the host of the parade.”
Ben’s mouth opens in surprise. “You mean he has to wave at everyone?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a lot of waving!”
“It is. But I know you’ll be great at it, Ben.” She and Les watch Ben and wait.
His face registers wonder and disbelief at the same time. “I would wave? Why would I…”
Maria steps forward to hug him. “The town voted for you, Ben. They want you to be the grand marshal of the Christmas parade.”
He looks at Les and Les sticks out his hand for Ben to shake it. “The town got it right.”
Ben grabs his head. “I need to tell my parents and Lucy!”
Les pushes the phone on his desk toward him. “Call them right now.”
“Another thing,” Maria says as Ben dials the number. “You get to have someone on the carriage with you. So you can think about which one of your family members or friends you’d like to sit next to you.”
The very thought of choosing someone seems overwhelming right now and Ben shakes his head. “Mom!” he says into the phone. “Guess what just happened?”
When Ben hangs up the phone Les waits for him to leave the office before picking up the phone and pushing a button. He winks at Maria and says, “Attention, all shoppers. It is my great honor to announce that our very own Ben Engler has been voted the grand marshal of the Christmas parade!” His enthusiasm is contagious as the employees and customers break out in cheers and applause.
Ben’s smile feels like it’s pulled up to his ears and if he could pop he would do it right here holding on to a bag of oranges.
“I voted for him,” Gloria says, sneaking up next to Maria.
“You and most of the town,” Maria says.
Grandon had written its own Christmas message and handed it to Ben.
Gloria waves off Les’s offer to step into another line, looking exasperated with him. “Les! Don’t you know me better than that by now?”
“It’s just a suggestion for anyone who’s in a hurry,” Les says, straightening chip bags on an end cap.
“Congratulations, Ben!” she says, hugging him as he bags her groceries. “You will be the most handsome grand marshal the parade has ever had!”
“What about Mr. Wilson?”
Gloria laughs. “Oh yes, him too!”
She congratulates him again and pushes the cart to her car. Before closing the trunk she peeks inside each bag, looking for Ben’s note. She pulls it out and closes the trunk, reading.
Everything happens for a reason. Christmas isn’t an accident and neither is what is happening today.
Merry Christmas! Ben
She shakes her head and smiles, putting the note inside her coat pocket.
* * *
Cassondra raises her hand and Stacy looks at her. “What is it, Cassondra?”
“Where’s Lauren?”
“I don’t know. She might be running late today.”
Cassondra looks over at the parking lot. “She’s really late because we’ve been singing forever.”
Stacy shuffles her papers, looking for the next song. “She might be stuck in traffic.”
“For like six hours?” Aidan asks.
“We’ve only been singing for twenty minutes,” she says. She doesn’t tell them that she has already tried to call Lauren with no luck. Lauren was supposed to arrive at three o’clock today so they could meet at the gazebo along with Heddy and Dalton to figure out how the tables should be set up and where to put the risers. She tried calling at three-fifteen and then again at four-thirty.
At the end of practice Cassondra brings lyric sheets to Stacy and looks up at her. “Will Lauren be back tomorrow?”
“I’m sure she will. She might have gotten sick.”
“I hope she doesn’t get that stomach thing. Aidan had that and puked everywhere.”
Stacy laughs, straightening the sheets Cassondra has given her. “I’ve heard it’s pretty bad.”
“Pretty gross,” Cassondra says. “If she has that then we might never see her again.”
Stacy assures her that they will see Lauren again, and as the children load into their cars for the afternoon she calls her number again.
* * *
Lauren ignores Jay as he waves good-bye to her at the end of her shift, just as she has ignored every phone call from Stacy today. Driving to her apartment she passes a church sign, which reads THE ANGEL TOLD THE SHEPHERDS NOT TO BE AFRAID. She stares at the sign as she passes. Was there really an angel? Did it really tell those shepherds not to be afraid? Did they realize they were part of an unfolding story? She tries to picture herself in that unfolding story but can only see herself in that booth at Jake’s BBQ as the book slammed closed.