Lauren’s phone alarm wakes her and she reaches for it, turning it off. She sits up in bed and opens her e-mail. Her heart quickens when she sees two from Craigslist. She reads the first and laughs, replying, I am wondering the same thing about you, Mary Richards! No, I’m not a murderer. Just looking for someone to be my family. My dad left when I was a kid and my mom has been in and out of my life, but mostly out. Christmas is supposed to be about love and miracles and I guess that’s what I’m looking for. She thinks for a moment and types, Don’t worry if being part of a stranger’s family isn’t for you. I hope you have a great Christmas. She wonders if she should sign her real name but types “Kelly” before clicking send.
The other e-mail reads, Losers show up everywhere. Even on Craigslist. Get a life! She considers deleting the ad again but Mary Richards has given her enough hope to keep it on Craigslist at least for a few more days.
She has arranged to switch her schedule from the afternoon to the morning shift for two days in a row, clocking out at three o’clock and running to her car. In some unexplained way she is looking forward to working with the kids in Grandon. Stacy said that most parents pick their kids up between five and seventy-thirty at Glory’s Place so if they got an hour’s worth of work with the kids between four and five that would be a good start.
On the drive there she goes over Christmas carols and songs in her head and feels something like a jolt of electricity pulsing inside of her. For the first time in her life she feels as if she’s part of something and hopes she doesn’t blow it. Lauren approaches Clauson’s and decides to stop for no other reason than to stand in Ben’s line and read the message he has for her today. Stevie Wonder’s “What Christmas Means to Me” is playing throughout the store and the baggers are all wearing Santa hats, Ben included. She stands just inside the door and watches as customers take their place in his line.
“Line two is open,” the manager says. Lauren smiles. No one is moving. “Ben! Why don’t you come over here and bag for Mattie on line two?”
“No way, Les!” a woman holding a five-pound bag of flour says. “I’ve waited in line this long and I intend to get my message!”
“I can give you a message if that’s all you need,” the manager says.
“We don’t want to hear your message,” an elderly woman says, winking at Ben.
Lauren takes her place at the end of the line and watches as people interact with Ben. So many of them seem like part of his family. She imagines that some of them were there on the day he was born. Others came alongside and helped when doctors gave his parents a diagnosis that probably took their breath away. While some here resemble a grumpy uncle or distant aunt, others most likely have been there for every birthday, Thanksgiving feast, school program, scraped knee, broken heart, or belly laugh. Some may have picked up the phone in the middle of the night or showed up at the door holding a casserole. They have become his family, and Lauren realizes that after four years of standing behind a cash register, she still doesn’t know any of her customers’ names.
She grabs a pack of gum and slides it in front of the cashier.
“You’re back!” Ben says. She watches as he sorts through the notes in front of him. He nods his head and slips the note inside a grocery bag, along with the gum. “You’ve been here a lot lately!” The cashier is already ringing out the next customer as Lauren grabs her gum.
There isn’t enough time and too many groceries to bag for Ben to ask her name. “Have a great day!”
“You, too!” she says, walking away and pulling the note out to read it.
Christmas means we get to unwrap something new. I hope it’s everything you wanted.
Merry Christmas,
Ben
Lauren folds the note and puts it inside the pocket of her jeans and drives to Glory’s Place, a simple building one mile from the town square. Pulling into the parking lot she reads the sign:
GLORY’S PLACE
A Place of Help and Hope
An older black woman with a kind face and broad smile greets her behind a desk. “You must be Lauren, right?” She stands up and steps to her. “I recognize you from your paperwork. Thanks for getting all of that to me ahead of time so we could run the background check. I’m Heddy!” She hugs Lauren and the sweet, soft scent of flowers remains on her coat. “Stacy said you were coming and we’re all very excited about the sing-a-thon!” She is leading Lauren beyond the desk into a large open room with a basketball hoop on one side, two Ping-Pong tables on the other, and areas that are set up with different games like corn hole, four-square, and jump rope. Tables are set up near shelves full of board games, books, and puzzles. There are at least twenty children who are either shooting hoops, playing Ping-Pong, jumping rope, or spread across the tables playing games. There are three adults playing with the children and Heddy points, while leading Lauren. “This is my husband, Dalton.” His smile is as broad as Heddy’s and Lauren notices the way a small girl, no older than five or six with huge brown eyes and long black hair, holds on to his leg. “This is Lauren. The young woman Gloria and Stacy told us about.”
Dalton bends to pick up the little girl. “Boy, are we ever glad to see you! What an idea you’ve come up with!”
“I hope it works,” Lauren says.
“If we could get Cassondra out there singing then it is sure to work!” Dalton says, looking at the little girl. “Will you sing in the gazebo to help Glory’s Place?” She lays her head on Dalton’s shoulder and shakes it. “Well, if you don’t sing then we won’t be able to raise any money! We were counting on you to be one of our loudest singers.” He pokes a finger into her ribs and she squirms, grinning. “You won’t help us sing?” She shakes her head again and buries it in Dalton’s neck. He pats her back and Lauren notices the care he takes with her. He looks at Lauren. “Well, it’s up to you to unlock Cassondra’s beautiful voice!”
The task feels overwhelming now but Lauren musters a smile. She steps over so she can see the little girl’s face and says, “My name’s Lauren. I love your shirt. I’m a big Pooh Bear fan, too, but I could never rock that shirt the way you do.” Cassondra smiles and Heddy directs Lauren to a door that says SHH, GENIUSES AT WORK above it.
Lauren stops at the door and looks at all of the children playing. “Do any of them come from abusive homes?”
“More than we probably know about.” Heddy shakes her head. “Some kids don’t exhibit the typical signs because they’re really good at hiding their feelings.” Lauren feels something catch in her throat as she watches the children and she turns away so Heddy can’t see her face. “Gloria is through here. This is where the children do their homework after school and where the tutoring takes place.”
Children are seated at every other chair at three long tables, where they are working independently. Small cubicles are set up throughout the rest of the room for one-on-one tutoring. Gloria peeks her head around one of the cubicle walls when she hears the door close. “Lauren! You made it!” She jumps up and hugs Lauren to her. Several children look up from their work. “This is Lauren! The young woman I told you about who is going to be teaching you some songs for the sing-a-thon!”
“I still don’t know what a sing-a-thon is,” a young boy around twelve says.
Gloria turns and smiles at Lauren. “I’ve already explained it and apparently I have done a poor job so the floor is yours.”
There have never been so many eyes on Lauren at one time and her back gets hot. She takes off her coat and holds it, feeling awkward in the silence.
“So what is it?” the boy says again.
“Well, Stacy and I will be teaching you some songs and you’ll sing them in the gazebo.”
The boy slaps his pencil to the table and looks exasperated. “We know what singing means. What does ‘a-thon’ mean?”
Lauren thinks for a moment and Gloria laughs. “The ‘a-thon’ part is like a marathon,” Lauren says. “You know, where people run for a long distance. We thought that you could sing all day in the gazebo to help raise money for Glory’s Place.”
The young boy shakes his head as if something is rattling about in there. “All day? What if I have to pee?”
“I know I’ll need to pee!” a little boy around eight says.
“Do we just pee right there while we’re singing?” a little girl about six or seven says.
Lauren glances at Gloria and Gloria opens her arms, laughing. “Welcome to Glory’s Place!”
“We’ll rotate singers in and out all day, and if you need to pee then you’ll just leave your spot and go to the bathroom.”
This sounds reasonable to the young boy and he nods. “How old are you?”
“Twenty.”
“I like your hair,” a little girl with fair skin and red hair says.
“Thanks,” Lauren says.
A boy with brown skin, huge brown eyes, and black hair that looks like it was buzzed impatiently, says, “Are you going to help us every day? We don’t sing around here so this could be pretty awful.”
Gloria steps forward. “You will all do great! It is impossible for children to make a Christmas carol sound awful.”
A little girl chewing on her pencil raises her hand. “Did you grow up here?”
Gloria waves an arm in the air. “Everybody finish your homework in the next few minutes, then you’ll work with Lauren and Stacy and you can ask all the questions you want.” She leads Lauren back into the main room, chuckling. “I may have just set you up for some of the craziest questions you have ever heard!” They walk across the room and Gloria spreads her arms. “This space is nice and open and a good area to work with some of the kids on the songs.” She crosses her arms, looking at her. “Stacy will be here any minute. So while we wait … tell me about yourself.”
From anybody else that may have sounded trite but Lauren can tell by the look on Gloria’s face that she can’t wait to know about her and her palms feel slippery. “There’s really not that much to me.”
“‘There is more in you than you know.’ That’s from The Hobbit. Not me. I mean, I believe it and think it’s true. I just didn’t come up with that on my own. At least I think that’s how it goes. So…” She sits on a plastic chair and gestures for Lauren to sit on the other one. “How long have you lived here?”
“I don’t live here. I live in Whitall.” She sits and holds her coat and bag on her lap.
Gloria’s eyes are huge and she grabs her head. “What? I thought you … That’s an hour from here. Why didn’t you tell me when I asked for your help?”
“Stacy tried to tell you but—”
Gloria leaps to her feet. “I have done it again! Miriam says I am like a bull in a china shop. Oh, I hate it when she’s right! She will never let me live this down. And if I even tell her about the woman on the computer!” Lauren watches her and doesn’t know if she should laugh or be afraid. Gloria sits again. “I never should have assumed that you live here. I am so sorry, babe. You don’t have to feel obligated in any way.”
She doesn’t know Gloria’s last name but it doesn’t matter. At this moment she would do anything for her. “I could have said no. I want to do this. It feels like some of these kids are probably me.” She feels tears in her eyes and hopes that Gloria doesn’t notice.
Gloria reaches for her hand and squeezes it. “You are making this one of the most memorable Christmases for these kids and for me. I hope you know that’s true.”
If tears came easily to Lauren she would cry now, but years of sucking it up and stuffing it down have made her a pro at this face she wears. But Gloria’s face, like Ben’s face and Stacy’s face, are so unlike hers. For some reason, their faces, their voices, have the power to make her want to believe.