◊
I AWOKE TO CHAOS and gore. Benny’s burned and lifeless body was in the corner of the office opposite me, his eyes wide open in death. No. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly before glancing to Sarah standing over Corinth. She had a very sharp and pointy-looking scalpel in one hand, and Alastair’s watch in her other, fingerless grip. Caesar was behind her with a demonic grin on his face: the purest form of evil. The room felt like I was inside a pressurized tank, the air now permeated with ozone, burned-to-a-crisp-wiring, and what was left of the smoldering remains of the iron doors. It was as if Vinson had used C-4 all over again.
At seeing Corinth lying as deathly still as a corpse, I let out a grief-stricken wail. The way his hand hung limply over the side of the cot, the gray pallor of his skin, filled me with a growing sense of dread. A tortured moan escaped from my lips. From my position on the floor, I could see very little of the rest of him, so I didn’t know how badly he was hurt or if he was even still alive. My head was buzzing, and wisps of smoke still curled up from my body where I’d been repeatedly struck by lightning.
The sound of heavy footfalls broke through my train of thought as Alastair burst into the room through a recently scorched hole in the wall. I had seen that same look on his face before: the night he’d taken Jeremy down with an infantry sword at Gabriel’s manor. His face had been blood spattered and ghostly white. His eyes locked on mine, and when he saw the state I was in, his Sight turned the most lethal, yet beautiful shade of sapphire I’d ever seen, probably releasing more energy than the sun would in its ten-billion-year lifetime. Corinth’s eyes didn’t have anything on Alastair’s.
I should have been faster, reacted quicker, but shock and pain kept me flat on my back for a second too long.
Dave’s cot was still empty. He was supposed to protect Corinth. So were the legion of now-dead guards outside—his first line of defense charred to a bloody crisp. The smell of burning bodies almost made me gag.
Caesar’s hands erupted in blue flames. The air churned and crackled with power and charged energy. He gripped Sarah with a free hand right as she gave Alastair a wink and chucked the watch onto the floor next to Corinth’s cot. And just like that, they disappeared into a spinning vortex of energy and vapor—a barrier of light much like what Corinth had produced back in the meeting hall when he had seen Gabriel for the first time.
I tried to stagger to my feet as Alastair closed the distance, catching me up in his arms before I could hit the ground.
I heard the undercurrent of rage in his voice when he spoke. “Sarah—she did this …” His voice caught. “How badly are you hurt?”
I couldn’t tear my eyes off Corinth. “Corinth. Help me over to him, hurry—”
Alastair was already guiding me to over to Corinth before I could even finish the sentence. I fell to my knees in front of his cot, slipping in the gory mess at my feet.
I listened to his vitals as Alastair dropped down beside me. He inhaled sharply at seeing the full extent of Corinth’s injuries. Alastair’s face crumpled, and for the first time I noticed the dark scorch marks and splotches of black soot across his cheekbones. “Oh no …”
This was just another patient. I could be clinically detached. Corinth wasn’t bleeding out on this cot right before my very eyes. Focus. I assessed him, noting he was unresponsive and his pulse thready. His eyelids were blue and stark against waxy skin; his dark hair pasted to his forehead. I put a hand on his shirt and it came back slick with red. I found I had to steady myself against his cot at the sight of him—Alastair’s firm, supportive hand on my shoulder. Keep calm, Larna. Assess and heal. No time to get emotional. I peeled his shirt up, the blood already clotted and drying and sticking to his skin in brown clumps. There was so much of it. I know any other vampire would have been salivating—but suddenly the sight of his blood only seemed to make me sick.
“He’s been stabbed so many times—”
I broke off when I realized Alastair’s hand was no longer on my shoulder. The sound of two people struggling, their shoes sliding across the polished marble behind me, was enough to distract me away from Corinth momentarily.
I turned to see Alastair seizing Gabriel’s tie; he was shoving him toward the blown-to-bits doorway. Now that there were no guards to stop anyone from entering, Gabriel must have waltzed right on in—most likely to witness and gloat about his glorious achievement.
“Get him out of here, Alastair,” I snarled through clenched teeth, turning my attention back to Corinth. I didn’t have time for this. Looking for the deepest wounds, I grabbed the sheet from the empty cot where Dave had been sitting, and wadded it up, pressing the cloth firmly against his chest—using my inhuman strength to try and staunch the bleeding. A tiny exhale escaped his lips as I pushed down, expelling the oxygen from his lungs. Other than that, he showed no signs of waking.
My gaze flicked back to Alastair and Gabriel.
Alastair barreled into Gabriel, knocking him back a few steps. Gabriel stumbled, nearly losing his balance. His eyes narrowed in irritation as Alastair lowered his stance, and he was about to unleash his kung fu ninja fury on him when Gabriel put his hands out, hoping to stop Alastair’s onslaught.
“I just want to help,” he breathed, and then slowly, as if he had a practiced routine he couldn’t ignore, adjusted his tie back into place. “I promise I don’t want Corinth dead.”
There was something in Gabriel’s voice that gave me pause, as if he were imploring me to listen. Maybe he had information I needed to hear. At this point, I was grasping at any straw I could get.
“Wait, Alastair,” I said, regretting it already. “As much as it pains me to say this, let’s hear him out.”
But Alastair was already leaping at him in a burst of speed and agility only comparable to a powerful jungle cat—surprisingly, managing to land a solid blow to Gabriel’s scarred cheek and jaw. Gabriel staggered back with a stunned look on his face, most likely because Alastair had gotten the better of him.
His eyes locked on Alastair as he put a hand to his cheek, moving his jaw up and down. “I’m not here to gloat. I’m here to help.”
“Are you responsible for this?” Alastair growled. “Did you recruit Sarah and Caesar to do your dirty work for you?”
Gabriel shook his head adamantly, his dark eyes gleaming like an oil slick. “I’ve told you all along I don’t want Corinth dead. That defeats everything I’ve been working toward. He’s an investment; you know how I feel about investments,” he insisted. “I don’t waste them.”
Alastair ground his teeth together, and then shared a quick glance with me. I gave a final resolute nod.
Alastair reluctantly relented, dropping his fists down by his sides, his tangled blond hair sticking to his forehead. “This goes against every fiber in my being,” he muttered, joining me right as Gabriel did too, kneeling down beside me.
Gabriel took over, his steady hands next to mine, adding pressure, inspecting his wounds, and taking everything in. “The deepest wound is near his heart.” I could feel Gabriel’s body heat coming off him as his shoulder brushed against mine. “There’s massive internal bleeding …” He put an ear to Corinth’s chest, listening closely as he closed his eyes. After a second longer, they snapped back open and he sat up, wiping a resigned hand across his brow. “He is dying.” He turned to me, anger lacing his voice. “Why did you do this without me?”
He actually had the audacity to sound mad.
Alastair took a knee on the other side of me, his eyes fixed on the bloodied watch at his feet. He put a comforting hand on my arm. It said, “I’m sorry for your loss.” I refused to meet his eyes, because I knew what they’d show me.
“Don’t do that. He’s not dead,” I said, forcefully. “He’s got a pulse; he’s breathing.” I gave Gabriel more room to work, inching further back. “Fix him. Now. That’s why you’re here.”
“There is only one thing that can save his life now.” Gabriel met my unyielding gaze, pressing his lips together before saying, “Turn him.”
I shook my head. “What?” My mind was still a scrambled mess from being electrocuted many, many times over, so I still couldn’t wrap my head around turning Corinth. It would be impossible for a vampire to survive the process... or so I thought. “His blood is toxic; he can’t be turned—it’ll kill any vamp that drinks it. They wouldn’t even be able to get through the process.”
Gabriel gave me a look that said, Why must I deal with your thick-headedness? “His blood is toxic, yes, but he can still be turned.”
“I don’t understand—”
I started to say, but Gabriel cut me off.
“The ascended being who starts the process won’t survive, that’s true. But if another were to swoop in at the very last second and gave Corinth their blood, he could, in theory, be turned.” Gabriel lifted his brows, imploring me to follow along. “There might be a chance he’s too far gone already, but it might increase his odds of survival if I finished the process—my blood might be enough to get him over the healing hump.”
My eyes churned and then burned bright with Sight. Even though I was weak and in an incredible amount of pain, I was going to try to compel Gabriel to start the process anyway. It was the only way. “Do it,” I ordered. “You start it and I’ll turn him.”
Gabriel laughed softly at my bravado. “I don’t think so.”
“Are you here to help or not?” I added, “I’ll compel you to do it.” I breathed, “You know I can.”
Something passed across his face: pride mixed with anger and a smidge of delight. “You certainly can try, Miss Collins, but by the time you overtake me—” his black eyes flicked to Corinth, who was now a sickly gray pallor; his eyelids had a bluish tinge to them “—it’ll be too late.”
He was right; I couldn’t fight him and then force him to turn Corinth before he died. I didn’t have enough energy. I sensed remorse and pity in him—as palpable as anything I’d ever felt. The inconceivable notion he might actually have feelings in that soulless place called a heart surprised me into submission.
I nodded as clarity hit me. I would do it. It was the only way. I leaned over Corinth, ready to give my own life, but Alastair gently and firmly pushed me aside, still clutching his pocket watch in between his white knuckles. The white clock-face was bloodstained and tarnished, but it still ticked the seconds away while Corinth’s life drained out of him.
I watched in growing panic as he threw his leather jacket off and rolled up his sleeves.
“What are you doing?” I asked, hating how desperate I sounded.
Stubborn, startlingly crisp, cool eyes met mine. I could almost find myself swimming in them they were so crystal clear and refreshing. Eyes that showed his utter resolve about what he wanted to do.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I repeated. A slow tremor of panic ran through my entire body because I already knew the answer. “Don’t even think about it,” I said in a measured tone. “If I have to—I’ll compel you to stop.”
Alastair reached out to gently cup a hand behind my neck. Slowly he drew me toward him until our foreheads were touching, his exceedingly blue eyes never leaving mine. I couldn’t help but notice how full of light and life they were, like the lights of a thousand Eiffel Towers melded and formed to make up his irises. I knew that if that light winked out in them, a part of me would wink out too. I would never be the same. Never smile. Never laugh or love, ever again. I knew deep down I wouldn’t want to.
His warm breath hit my face, rustling my hair. “This is my fault.” He held the watch out for me to see as I glanced down to it. It was like I was looking through a blurry mirror, everything distorted and fuzzy. I didn’t realize why until I felt the sting of tears hitting my cheeks. There were tears of anger and fear. Why would he give up so easily when I was fighting so hard?
“Sarah did this to get back at me for killing Wrentmore.” He barely spoke above a whisper now. “You have way more control than I do.” He said slowly, sadness etched on his face, “Teach him. Be his mentor. He has a much better chance of surviving if you’re around. If you can change my life for the better—I know you can change his too.” He put his hand on my wrist, encircling it with his fingers.
I shook my head, tears spilling down my face, burning my cheeks and chin on its mad dash to my collarbone—these fresh tears were out of something other than anger. Something else surged up inside me: loss and desolation and desperation. If I didn’t take the watch, it meant he might change his mind. How do you choose between the two people you love most in the world?
That’s why he was making the choice for me, because he unceremoniously dumped the watch into my palm. “Get Sarah.”
“Alastair …” I begged. “Don’t do this. PLEASE. I’ll do it. I’ll save Corinth. This isn’t your responsibility. It’s mine.”
He bent his head, and a lock of blond fell into his eyes. “You wouldn’t survive—you’re too weak—you’d only be killing yourself and Corinth. I couldn’t live with myself if that happened. You think I would sit idly by and watch that happen? I don’t want to live with guilt any longer. This is how I can make amends for Sarah’s actions—it was my fault she decided to take her sadistic revenge out on him.” His eyes searched mine, imploring. “Besides, I don’t have any remaining guilt about Wrentmore and Sarah any longer, and Corinth is my brother. I love him just as much as you do.”
Something flickered in his eyes, as if he were playing out what our lives could have been like together if it had gone another way. Maybe he was imagining us huddled close in a quiet corner of a hole-in-the-wall café where they didn’t speak a lick of English—nothing to worry about but poorly prepared food and a bad hair day. It sounded pretty good to me. Things I’d never have with him. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to.
“Why aren’t you angry? Why aren’t you fighting for us? You’re just giving up …” My eyes flicked to Corinth, who looked even worse now, his breathing barely even audible to my own super hearing ears.
Alastair’s gaze fell on him too. He had the look of a soldier who had been in one too many battles. He’d seen so much loss and death and destruction that he couldn’t stand to witness even one more death. He was seeing something beyond, on another horizon, something I couldn’t even fathom. “I don’t want to waste what precious little time I have left being angry… not when I’m looking into those big brown eyes of yours.” He lifted my hands to his heart and then pulled them to his lips, kissing each knuckle.
My heart leaped into my throat, but my eyes burned brighter than an eternal flame. I wasn’t going to let him do it—I couldn’t—and he knew it.
“Just promise me one thing.” He was giving me that damn half-cocky, half-teasing grin just like he had the first time I’d met him. “Don’t marry Corinth.”
“Alastair...”
“I love you.” He said it with a finality that I couldn’t bear to hear.
My tiny bubble of sanity popped as he pulled me tight, twisting his hands in my hair to kiss me. It was rough and abrupt, and when he pulled away, I still felt the pressure of his lips against mine.
And then his eyes were flicking to Gabriel behind me. “Hold her.”
I whipped around, ready to rip Gabriel limb from limb, but his arms were already wrapped around me. He yanked me away from Alastair as I kicked out; trying to wriggle out of his grasp, fighting him with every scrap of energy I had left. His arms felt like iron bands, and no matter how hard I struggled, I couldn’t break his hold.
Alastair’s brows furrowed in anger and concern and sorrow. He gave Gabriel the iciest stare I’d ever seen; even Gabriel stopped short at the look on his face. “If you harm a hair on her or Corinth’s head, so help me, Gabriel, I’ll haunt you until the day you die.”
By the amount of weight he put behind those words, I knew he meant it. Before I could tell him just how much of an idiot he was or how much I loved him, Alastair was already starting the process of saving Corinth’s life and ending his own.
I writhed in vain, thrashing against Gabriel’s embrace, screaming Alastair’s name over and over again. It didn’t take long. Corinth had lost so much blood already. All Alastair had to do was take what little was left. I knew Alastair was in excruciating pain. He handled the process better than I thought he would, proving just how strong he truly was. And all the while, Corinth didn’t move or utter a sound, which meant his condition was worse than I had first allowed myself to admit.
I had to witness the love of my life dying. Something inside me broke. Eventually, I stopped kicking and sagged in Gabriel’s strong grasp as he held me tightly against him. When I’d been turned, I had been in the worst pain in my entire life—this looked worse for Alastair.
“Let me go,” I said, barely above a whisper.
Gabriel, seeing that there was no reversing the damage already done, dropped his arms from around my waist right as Alastair stood shakily to his feet, wiping a hand across his mouth. I lunged forward, hoping against all hope that he would beat it. He gave one last grin of defiance, despite his pain, as blood dribbled from his mouth—his and Corinth’s mixed together—and then he fell into my arms.
“No! Alastair!” I screamed. He can beat it. If anyone could, it would be him. For the first time ever, he proved me wrong. While I held him, his eyes, once the color of the ocean on a clear summer day, slowly clouded over. “I love you so much,” I said softly into his ear over and over again; his chest barely moving up and down.
I had imagined a lifetime with him, and now all of those impossibly beautiful images melted away.
It reminded me of holding my father in my arms when he had died.
Why did bad things happen to good people?
Alastair had been good. He’d proven it time and time again. Yet this was where it had landed him. He’d died trying to save one more soul. Fresh tears slid down my face as I held him and wept. I’d never felt so much gut-wrenching misery in my entire life. It was worse than someone reaching into my chest and yanking out my heart. Actually, I would have preferred someone to do that so I’d stop feeling this way. The only way to survive was to seek out the very thing inside me that thirsted for vengeance: my Sight. And Sarah. Numbness settled over me.
I felt someone put a warm hand on my shoulder and, for one fleeting second, I thought it was Alastair.
Instead, I looked up to see that the comforting hand on my shoulder actually belonged to Gabriel. His eyes were filled with sorrow and sadness and sympathy. Caring didn’t suit him—and it only served to anger me more. I was mad at him for not sacrificing himself. Mad at Alastair for being the insufferable hero. For giving his life to the cause as if he was nothing but an afterthought. It made me the afterthought. For once in his life, I wished he had been selfish.
“This is what you wanted, right?” I spit out.
Gabriel bent down beside Corinth, slowly taking his suit jacket off to finish what Alastair had started. “At one point in time… yes… but now …” He let the sentence trail off, shaking his head as if to clear it, maybe to rid himself of any emotion that had slowly started to take root. “There’s no helping Alastair, but we can save Corinth.”