Millionaire Success Habits: The Gateway to Wealth & Prosperity

“There’s no way in hell you’re going to have a lasting success on a large scale without confidence, because without confidence you’re not going to take massive action. Massive action, learning from what doesn’t work, changing your approach until you get to where you want is really what makes someone succeed long term in any context.”

Those two definitions are pretty clear, and each taken on its own can represent a lot of different things to a lot of different people. But when you combine the two, the words take on a new meaning. Inner hero represents your full potential, your best you, the one designed by God that made you special, limitless, and the one who needs to be in charge of your life. When you awaken your inner hero—and, yes, we all have one—you will open your world up to new opportunities and amazing levels of abundance and joy.

As I explain the best way to activate your inner hero, don’t forget its opposite, the inner villain. As you have learned by now, the villain fights against your growth and does all it can to rob you of your confidence, trying to prevent you from developing and anchoring new success habits. If the villain doesn’t work hard to be in control, it will have to bow out and let the inner hero take over. The villain doesn’t want to lose its power over you. The way the villain works is by telling or, better yet, reminding you of an old, disempowering story and trying to sabotage your subconscious so you can’t create a better story. Yet by the time this chapter is over, you will have the tools and the clarity to let the best you guide your thoughts, happiness, and abundance.

Recall the definitions: When the inner hero runs your life, you are filled with confidence and optimism, and are a solutions-focused person. When the villain is in charge, it’s the polar opposite, robbing you of the courage, energy, and confidence to make the shifts toward the best you. This mind-set ends today. I’ve given you tools to know where the villain came from and how to eliminate it. Here, though, we’re going to put a dagger in the heart of that villain once and for all and let the inner hero be in control.

This process isn’t about turning you into something you’re not—changing an introvert into an extrovert, for instance. It’s about accomplishing something deeper, better, and more custom tailored to you, and only you, that can last a lifetime. Once the villain doesn’t run your life, but your confident inner hero does, the possibilities are limitless and you will know what it is like to tap into the best you. Remember, I’m not offering you a magic pill for success; you’re not going to read these words and instantaneously achieve wealth and abundance. Instead, as I’ve been emphasizing throughout this book, you’ll learn how to make tiny shifts that can be implemented quickly and feel and see dramatic, positive effects in a short period of time. Working together, we can accomplish this. You are worth it, so keep reading, push forward, and stick with it. We’ve come this far, so don’t stop now.

As we continue on this journey, and I continue to share new habits, thought processes, and exercises, keep your eye on your “why.” It’s easy to put exercises and behavioral tweaks off until another time. You have done that before, and typically it hasn’t worked out. This isn’t just about inspiring you and telling good stories—plenty of other books do that. Instead, it’s about small actions that can add up to massive positive effects. No more roller coasters. It’s time to move forward in a straight, sure line.

So to set the stage for this section, let’s just say it like it is: Your state of mind and your level of confidence are critical factors in order for you to become a high achiever. Think about a time you were in a bad mood and then something good happened and it triggered a great feeling. Maybe you learned there was extra money in your bank account, your spouse did something special for you, or you got a promotion at work. Can you think of a moment or moments where you went from feeling down to feeling up in an instant? Of course you can, and that demonstrates that you possess the ability to change your state of mind and your confidence in an instant. You just need tools to be in control of this ability rather than to be at the mercy of outside factors.

Face it: Have you done anything amazing in your life when your confidence was in the toilet? No, with this state of mind, problems compound, opportunities are missed, and regrets are formed. On the other hand, when you had a day or a moment of high energy, confidence, or were in a great, positive mood, I bet you can think of incredible things you were able to accomplish, even if only for a brief time.

Yes, it’s a great feeling when you are on an emotional high like that, to feel that burst and change of mood! But if the high soon goes away and is followed by a low, then your life is filled with peaks and valleys—peaks and valleys that are dictated by the outside world. Let’s face it: This up-and-down emotional ride won’t lead to the wealth, joy, happiness, love, or fulfillment you desire.

That’s why I’m going to teach you how to change your state of mind and your level of confidence, no matter what’s going on around you. With this ability, you can limit those valleys and eventually prevent them altogether because you will be in control of your emotions and thoughts rather than allowing circumstance to dictate what they are.

I’m going to show you how to tap into a higher level of confidence that lives inside you, to boost it, and have it on call when needed. Most people believe that they either have total confidence or none at all. But low points are not caused by you having zero confidence; they can happen when your confidence drops by as little as 5 percent. Even a small hit to your confidence can be deadly to your aspirations, goals, and dreams. So be prepared to learn how to keep your confidence at 100 percent, or at least ready to access its full potential instantly. This level of confidence simply does not leave any space for the villain to exist.

Your inner confidence is the hero inside you waiting to shine. I’ve seen my students fumble with tactical skills and wonder why they were stalled, or worse yet, overthink what to do to the point of paralysis. Why couldn’t they build momentum and stay on a course that would free them to be who they aspired to be? Almost every student who didn’t give up in the first few moments of transitioning learned that the problem was a lack of confidence. Once they went through this process, though, they obtained the ability to create confidence at levels they never thought were possible. And once they did, there was no stopping them.

Before we discuss how to tap into this resource and give you the ability to change your state of mind and raise your confidence when you need it, I want to give you the chance to visualize this internal power shift and the huge difference it can make in your life.

Carol Stinson let the villain run her life, in no small part because she had grown up extremely poor in Philadelphia. Then she eventually moved to a not-so-pleasant area in New Jersey. She summarized her philosophy this way: “The poor stay poor. The rich get richer. They have advantages no one else does.”

But it wasn’t just her upbringing that allowed the villain to dominate her thoughts and her life. As an adult, she encountered one hardship after the next. Her husband lost his job during one of the toughest economic periods in American history, instilling even more negativity and supporting the villain’s cause. She was raising five children of her own plus two grandchildren—the youngest was a special needs child. Some days all they could afford to eat was peanut butter, and their electricity was turned off because of nonpayment of bills. She told me she would wake up and immediately feel fear and panic, because in New Jersey, if your electric is shut off, CPS (child protective services) could take your children.

So you probably understand why Carol told me the following: “When you’re from the wrong side of the tracks, this is what you believe is the lot in life you were dealt. You’re supposed to live in poverty. You’re supposed to live in scarcity. You have envy and disdain for those with money because you feel, somehow, if they’re making money, they must be robbing it from us.”

And of course it was really easy to assign blame: It’s the economy, the president, rich people, smart people, and a hundred other scapegoats that encourage self-doubt and feelings of hopelessness. This happens when you resort to thinking, “This is what we have.”

We create change when we desire to have more, and this desire is powerful and deep. But we can also create change when we hit rock bottom. Let’s hope the second option is never the reason you have to make a shift, and you decide you want more.

Carol, for instance, was running out of time, money, and excuses. With her residence in foreclosure, no money, and the pantry empty, she did something completely out of the ordinary for her; she bought one of my books with her last few dollars. She went against her family, her husband, and even her own inner voice to do so.

And yes, I gave her strategies to make money. I gave her business ideas. But Carol told me that as she read, she kept saying to herself, “This can’t be true; this isn’t what I’ve believed for so long.” But it started to make sense to her, and she realized that the negative stories she was telling herself were lies.

Based on reading about my personal journey, doing the exercises, and being inspired by the examples, she started changing her own thoughts, her success habits, and her story. Carol knew the villain had been in charge of her entire adult life and nothing good had come of it. She was brave enough to awaken her inner hero and allow that to be her new guiding force.

She realized that she didn’t need a college degree, that she didn’t have to come from the right side of the tracks. She didn’t need money to go into business. She also realized how blessed she was to be raising seven children, have a great husband, and have opportunities in front of her. She saw that if she changed her habits, told herself new stories, and let the hero be in charge, everything could change. And boy, did it.

With these realizations, Carol no longer blamed the economy or fate or anything else for her struggles. Instead, she took control. And when she did so, everyone around her thought she was crazy.

She insisted she could be wealthy. She was sure she could do more. She thought she could take on the world. Well, guess what? When she started thinking that way, she drove the inner hero to be stronger and stronger.

Carol not only started her own company, she generated hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars and she got her family out of foreclosure. She bought a new house and a new car. She took her kids school-shopping in malls where they had never shopped before and on vacations that they had only dreamed about. She even changed the destiny of her family by putting her children through college.

Today, Carol Stinson looks 20 years younger than she did when I first met her. She is a strong, amazing, vibrant, highly respected businesswoman who’s changed the destiny of her family forever, and not just financially. She’s teaching them how to be different people by growing up with different habits, and letting the hero be in control of their lives. Tapping into their full potential and not leaving it up to chance. Not going to their deathbeds saying, “Wow, there could have been more.”

No, there won’t be any, “Could have been more” conversations for Carol. I have no doubt that spitfire, that amazing woman, will go to her deathbed knowing she was all she could be, and then some.

Think about the simple definition starting this chapter. Think about Carol’s inner hero and its heroic qualities: confidence, courage, taking responsibility. And another success habit that Carol exemplified was that she simply stopped focusing on what was wrong and started the routine of focusing on solutions.

And that’s where the villain and hero are so different. When people invest energy in blame, in figuring out why someone got a terrible disease, in obsessing about whose fault it is they didn’t get the promotion or the raise, or why the partner stole their money, or why their first business didn’t work, they allow the villain to be in charge. As big or small as the circumstance is, when you can accept that it simply “happened” and start looking forward to how you can create the best outcome possible, this is when everything changes. This is when you allow your hero to shine. Let me share another example so this truth will really sink in.

You may have heard of JJ Virgin, the creator of the Virgin Diet and multiple New York Times bestsellers, among many other great accomplishments. But what you might not know is that not that many years ago, a car hit her son Grant while he was walking home, and the driver fled the scene, leaving him for dead. In fact, Grant was still alive, but barely. He had 13 broken bones, and that wasn’t the worst of it, because of the serious head trauma and likelihood of irreversible brain damage. The doctors didn’t think he would survive but added that if he lived, he would probably not be able to walk, talk, or communicate coherently.

As of this writing, PBS is currently doing a documentary on JJ and Grant, and the journey they went through together after this tragic event. They asked to interview me for the documentary, and of course I said yes. I was unsure of what they wanted from me, but I was honored and delighted at the chance to support JJ and Grant or add value where I could. One of the questions they posed was, what did I think was the best way to get through a traumatic experience such as the one that had befallen JJ and her son?

What instantly came to mind and exited my mouth before I could even filter it was, “Focus on the best outcome, and try not to waste energy on why it happened and who is to blame.” Now, that may seem naive, given the circumstances and the tragedy in this case. But is it? I went on to explain my thoughts, but as I did I realized that JJ acted in a way that focused on the best outcome. She, of course, went through the emotions we all would as a parent getting that call. But as quickly as she could, she got obsessed with Grant not only surviving, but also having the chance to live a normal life. She refused to accept what the doctors told her about Grant. When the doctors were not in alignment with her ideal outcome, she loaded Grant into a helicopter and against just about everyone’s advice, took him to another hospital more aligned with that outcome and better able to deal with Grant’s situation. She did what she had to, made cold calls, knocked on doors, was forceful when necessary, and got the best possible people to help Grant.

JJ found a vision, focused on solutions, and let the hero take over—and nothing got in her way.

When I was talking to the documentary interviewer about all this, she stopped me when I was almost done and said, “So the way you are answering, I’m guessing that you don’t know that JJ didn’t seek legal action against the hit-and-run driver; in fact, she never even spoke about her.” I’d had no idea, but I wasn’t shocked. It would have been so easy to place blame and expend energy on revenge. Others might have tried to get the driver prosecuted in the criminal courts, and if that didn’t work, sue her for everything she had. JJ could have hated her and rightfully so, given what happened to her little boy.

Instead, she realized that revenge would do Grant no good and that we only have a certain amount of energy to put forth in the world. She knew in what direction her energy needed to go and focused on the solution with laser intensity. She let the inner hero be in control rather than the villain. Your inner hero can’t stop things from going wrong. It can’t prevent tragedies. But if you let it emerge, it can turn even the worst possible trauma you’ve gone through into a building block for a better life. It can help you generate energy from whatever challenge you face and use it to achieve the life you deserve.

This isn’t about being glad if something goes wrong so you can learn from it. We don’t want bad things in our lives, but the fact is they happen. So if they are going to happen, who do you want in charge? I think you are getting it: the hero focuses on solutions.

And I am happy to tell you that Grant didn’t just live, but has thrived. Because of his fighting spirit and his mom’s focus on the best possible outcome, Grant is working every day toward a bigger, better life for himself. JJ’s latest book, Miracle Mindset, is about the journey she and Grant have been on and the lessons we can all learn from their experience.

So now that you have a better idea of what the inner hero looks like, we need to examine how you can develop the confidence to put that hero in control.

Let’s take a look back to a time in your life when you lacked confidence and it cost you dearly. Have you ever wanted to ask a girl out on a date or talk to a guy you saw at a coffee shop and you let that person walk away without saying a word? Have you ever had an opportunity to tackle a tough project at work or the desire to start your own business but just couldn’t move past the thought to the action? Or make it even simpler: Have you refused to walk into the gym because you thought you were too out of shape to be there? I’ve seen a lack of confidence destroy many people, and it usually happens when their confidence is just that 5 percent off that I noted previously. So when has a lack of confidence hurt you in the past? And how do you think your life could be different today had you been able to summon 100 percent confidence on the spot and do what you wanted to do?

A great man and dear friend by the name of Richard Rossi runs a remarkable company in Washington, D.C., creating empowering live events tailored to high-achieving high school students; they receive life-changing knowledge by attending. When I was talking to Richard about his events, I said, “You’ve been blessed to see so many successful high school kids come through your program. If you could identify one common trait they all have, what would it be?”

He said, “I don’t even have to think about it. It’s one word: confidence.” He added, “It’s not the smartest kids or the ones with the straight A’s that become the superstars; it’s the ones that have an incredible amount of confidence that go on to do amazing things in their lives.”

Richard’s words don’t come from theory but real-life data, derived from experience and results. He’s seen thousands of the most successful young adults in the country pass through his doors, and the word he used for success was simply “confidence.”

But here is the million-dollar question: How do we make sure that confidence is always there for us when we need it? Think back to a time when your confidence surged because of something amazing that happened. Maybe you did something in your job, or at home, or in the gym that had you look in the mirror and subconsciously pound your chest and say, “Yeah, I did that!” In that moment you got a glimpse of what the power of an instant surge of confidence can do to your state of mind.

As you know by now, I didn’t have much confidence as a child—I was the smallest kid in my class, I couldn’t read very well, I couldn’t sit still, and I got made fun of a lot. So as I got older, I had to learn to manufacture my own confidence. Through trial and error, as well with the assistance of some amazing people, I’ve learned how to build this bulletproof confidence from the ground up. You can do the same.

But first you have to understand the myth of confidence. Could some people have been born with it? Maybe in rare cases, but it’s unlikely. In most cases, confidence is something that has to be learned. You’re probably fooling yourself if you think of yourself as the “confident type” or the “not-confident type”—both are part of the myth. No matter what level of confidence you have, let me assure you there is more waiting to be accessed. Let’s start building your confidence to the next level by using a great lesson that I was taught by a mentor of mine, Dan Sullivan, owner of Strategic Coach.

This is a four-step process that helps you discover what real confidence looks like and the ingredients needed to get there.

The first step, or I guess I should say the first C, is courage. All confidence, all change, and all new things start with courage. When somebody bungee jumps for the first time, it’s not confidence that gets him to jump off the ledge, it’s courage. Let’s take a deeper look at this quality, since it will help us understand how confidence emerges from it.

Courage is walking through a door and not knowing what is on the other side. Courage makes you get off the bench, raise your hand, and get in the game rather than judging or envying others from the sidelines. Maybe you don’t realize it yet, but you have already built the courage muscles in your life. Do you have children? You have to be extremely courageous to bring children into the world and take care of them. You didn’t know (and perhaps still don’t know) what the end result would be, but you jumped in and are learning as you go. Courage is something we all have inside us, even if it is hidden. So if you want the courage to do something, recall your seven levels deep and find your “why.” This is where that core habit comes into play once again. Taking action is possible when true purpose is recognized. Think of all we have learned to this point: When you have vision and clarity, and don’t let old stories hold you back, the ability to be courageous grows exponentially. So focus on where you want to go and your new story, pull your shoulders back, stick out your chest, and say, “This is my time!” Be courageous and go for it. It all begins with that first step.

Now the second C is commitment. You’ve already shown commitment by reading this book and engaging in the exercises I’ve recommended. You’re committed to a personal transformation, since any significant change requires a commitment. If you want to lose weight, you have to commit to that; otherwise you’ll fail. If you want to start a new job, you have to commit to that; otherwise you’ll fail.

Or look at this second C, commitment, from the opposite perspective: Have you ever been successful in something to which you were not committed? Whether it was a relationship, a new business, or even a new diet? Heck no! If you want more wealth and that next level of life, then you’re going to have to commit to it. That doesn’t mean you have to devote every waking second to achievement of a single goal, but don’t dabble; a shaky commitment means shaky confidence. So when you have the courage to take action, and the commitment to see it through to the end, you’re halfway to confidence.

The third C is capabilities. What are you acquiring by reading these pages and developing success habits? Capabilities. Remember when we talked about where you are, being honest with yourself, figuring out where you want to go, and how you are going to get there? In most cases, you need to acquire specific capabilities to achieve your goals. If you want to be great at rock climbing, read a book by an expert rock climber or take a course or hire someone as a mentor. If you fail to take these actions and lack the knowledge to execute them properly, you will lose your courage to keep going and not commit to seeing it through. You will get frustrated and overwhelmed. So get a road map from the right person or source whenever possible. While this may seem like a no-brainer, don’t you know people who get excited about something and think trial and error is the best approach? Then they hit a few roadblocks or challenges, feel defeated, and stop trying to reach their goals. With the right capabilities, on the other hand, you can spot the obstacles and know how to get around them; you can also access the path that will take you where you want to go faster and obtain the results you desire!

You see, once you have those first three C’s and take action, you’ll finally reach the fourth C, and that is confidence. Your confidence then starts to naturally grow. You just can’t help it. Think about each C separately and how it has given you a shot of confidence at different points in your life. Have you ever been afraid of doing something new like dancing in front of people, zip lining, or public speaking? Maybe you were scared to death before taking action, right? You were probably obsessing over what could go wrong, but you finally just did what you had to do. That was courage. Then after the experience ended, how did you feel? Exactly, you felt amazing and that you could easily do it again!

How about commitment? You can dabble for years in a relationship or your business, then all of a sudden one day because of your kids, or because of your desire for more or some other motivator, you commit and your life takes off.

Consider capabilities. When you are in the dark about something, it seems so confusing. Have you ever tried to download and use a new app on your phone without any guidance? Have you ever wanted to learn a new language or learn an instrument and quickly grew frustrated when you weren’t sure if you were moving forward in the right way? But once you acquired the capabilities—you read the instructions, saw an online video, hired a coach or teacher—the activity became second nature to you after some practice.

When you align the three prior C’s to achieve one goal and one outcome, your confidence will skyrocket, hence the four C’s to confidence. When the four C’s are in place and your confidence rises, the hero inside you isn’t being suppressed by negativity or bad stories. Your self-doubt and inner resistance fades away and the real you is in charge.

No matter how strong you are, no matter how much you evolve, your confidence can still take a hit. And if you are going to reach your full potential, you must protect your confidence as if you are protecting millions of dollars in a vault. So when life knocks your confidence down, you need the tools to boost it back up fast. That’s what we’re going to spend time on right now.

Let me ask you this: What’s cool about you? A crazy-sounding question? And perhaps a difficult one to answer? But don’t diminish the value of asking yourself this question regardless of the level at which you perceive your life to be. The first time I did this exercise I was with Sean Stephenson, a three-foot-tall giant. Look him up if you don’t know who he is. Sean is an incredible man who has accomplished more than most despite adversities most of us could never imagine. I was talking with Sean about an obstacle I was dealing with, and Sean said, “Let’s write down what’s cool about you.”

I responded, “What? Dude, let’s talk tactics to fix the problem at hand, not try and feed my ego.” And boy, I was completely wrong there. Looking back now, I realize that he had noticed my confidence was down and was trying to boost it back up. So trust me. Let’s do this exercise together. So go ahead and start thinking of the things that are cool about you.

One thing I know to be true is that when life gets stressful, we focus often on what we’ve failed at, or what we’ve not accomplished, or the mistakes we’ve made. We tend to forget all the things that we’ve done really well. So this is the time to ignore the failures and think of the wins.

When Sean first asked what was cool about me, I was scratching my head. He called me out because of my reaction. He knew I was focusing on what was going wrong at that time, and it took me a moment to think of what was cool about me. Like the great teacher he was, he started probing, suggesting examples of coolness to get me started, and slowly my answers emerged. I wrote down things like:

I put my kids first over work and accomplishments.

I was in special education classes and barely graduated high school, yet I’m a multiple New York Times best-selling author.

I can operate a bulldozer and a backhoe (I learned how when I used to build houses).

I was a mechanic when I was younger, and I can take apart an engine, fix a banged-up fender, and paint a car.

I donate money without anyone knowing.

I create simple messages that get people to take action in their lives.

I was the New England snowmobile grass drag champion in my 20s.

I still have my best friend from fifth grade.

I always try to show the people I love what they mean to me.

I can solve problems without conflict arising, even when someone wants to be confrontational.

I am good on camera after years of practice. I’ve met some of my heroes.

The list went on and on. Once I started really thinking about how I was cool, the items started to flow.

Now think about what you can put on your list. (Feel free to download the easy-to-follow “Cool About You” list on www.thebetterlife.com under the “Book Resources” tab.) Get creative and include unusual skills you may have, as well as accomplishments. Your list should include anything that you like about yourself that has a coolness factor. Maybe you’re a great friend, or you have great fashion sense, or you’re generous to the needy. Whatever these traits or achievements may be, write them down. What is cool about your job, your business, or how you treat your employees? What about the daughter or son you are to your parents, the parent you work so hard to be for your kids, or the partner you are in your relationship? Even though I don’t know what’s cool about you, I do know that with a little thought you will find plenty of items to list! And after you write them down, take a moment, be silent, and read what you wrote and let the list sink in. When I did this exercise, I remember thinking, “Wow, there are a lot of cool things about me. I have a lot of unique abilities and I’ve accomplished some ambitious goals.” After completing the exercise with Sean, I remember my confidence grew immediately just by acknowledging my successes rather than my failures.

Just as I shared all the little pieces that created the villain within, now I am sharing the pieces that will replace that villain’s voice and put the inner hero in control. When Sean first said do a “What’s cool about me” exercise, I was like, “Waste of time.” Doing it felt odd. I was wrong, though, and if you experienced the same negative thoughts for even a second, you were wrong too. Take the time and reflect: You are not only cool, you have already achieved so much more than you give yourself credit for.

This next exercise may seem like a little work, but with effort comes results. And it’s an exercise that will help you trigger an instant confidence boost any time you need it. (You can download the “Two Pics” blueprint at www.thebetterlife.com under the “Book Resources” tab.)

Start by finding an unflattering picture of yourself—it can be a digital image on your smartphone or an old photo that you’ve stored in a shoebox. It could be from a time in your life when you were overweight, just pulled an all-nighter, were broke, lost a job, or you just looked like crap on the day the photo was taken. This picture is going to represent the version of you that is letting the villain control your life. If it’s a digital image, print it and also save it to your computer. Then I want you to create a list of the negative traits you associate with this version of yourself. For instance: I was fat; I was messing up at work; I’d just had my heart broken; I was really mad at my sister; I was focusing on all the things wrong in my life; I blamed others for my problems; and so on.

You see, these are the traits that have fueled your inner villain, allowed it to be in control, and absolutely demolished your confidence. Imagine how the person in that picture is letting the villain run his or her life and steal confidence. The villain is constantly saying, “We’re not going to be able to pay the rent. Our career is not progressing. We’re not financially successful. We’ll never be rich. Why should we even get out of bed in the morning?” That’s the definition of someone living with a scarcity mind-set and limited confidence.

Now attach negative emotions to that unflattering picture of yourself—were you angry, sad, depressed, embarrassed, ashamed, insecure, and so on. Then I want you to name that person. Maybe you name that person the nickname you hated as a kid or make one up that you would never like, but whatever it is, make it an unflattering name.

Next, take it one step further and create a complete avatar of that negative version of yourself. What are the limiting beliefs and habits of this version of you? What do you stand for in this form? What do you accept as a given in your life? Who wants to be around this person? Even if you’ve evolved since then, focus on the version of you that you observe in the photo—the outdated version of what you are. Describe that person in the picture, the one not reaching his or her full potential.

We are halfway done with this exercise. To complete it, find a picture of the happy you, the joyous you, the best you. It could be from a time where you felt great and you looked your best. It could be from a time when you were the shining hero or the top earner or just completely alive. Now describe in writing what attributes the hero version of you has. Is that person vibrant, powerful, energetic, wealthy, financially secure, a business owner, in control of his or her money, alive, passionate, enthusiastic, and strong? Does that person exercise regularly, eat right, and have an incredible relationship with his or her children? Does this version of you make a lot of money? Is he or she financially independent? Do others respect this person?

Then I want you to name your heroic persona. Maybe you borrow a term from the digital world and call yourself John 4.0 or Mary 5.0. Next, create another avatar, only this time the hero version. What are your new limitless beliefs and newly adapted millionaire habits? What does this version of you stand for? What do you accept in your life now? What will you absolutely not accept? Who wants to be around this heroic avatar? This version of you is officially the new version of you. Just explain you, living at your full potential, no boundaries, no judgment, totally in control. Who is the real you when the hero is in charge?

Realize this truth: The two versions of you aren’t separate people. Each of us has the good wolf and the bad wolf living inside; the old you and the new you; the villain in control vs. the hero in charge. I bring up the wolf analogy for a reason; this is your chance to decide which one you feed, since that’s the one who will take ownership of your life!

Next, put your two pictures side by side, along with the text descriptions of both underneath them. Use your phone to photograph these images so you have access to them anytime you want or need to see them. Memorize these two avatars, both visually and what they stand for. Don’t just rely on the digital image. Place the two photos (or print out the one on your phone) on your refrigerator, in your drawer at work, or on your computer as your screen saver! Keep these images handy, because you’re going to use them as your trigger whenever you need to require strength and whenever you need to summon your confidence.

In order for this to work, feel your avatar. You must become the new, heroic version of yourself. Whenever something is going wrong, and you find yourself getting into a negative state, and you’re allowing that villain to creep in, look at these two pictures and say, “Do I want to be that old version of myself that lets life control me or do I want to be the new hero version of me?”

Can you start to feel who the inner hero is? The inner hero is the you that God meant you to be. You’re crossing limitless boundaries and utilizing all the gifts you have to reach another level. The inner hero is simply you at full potential with nothing being suppressed anymore.

Here’s another habit to change your state of mind and build your confidence instantly. Tony Robbins taught this exercise to me along with many other great lessons over 15 years ago, and it transformed my life. I have adopted my own version of this specific practice since then, but it was a lifesaver when I learned it. Over a decade ago, I had everything go sideways at once, or so it seemed. I had an accountant steal a lot of money from me that literally compromised my ability to stay in business. My grandmother who raised me for much of my childhood and was my favorite person in the world was in a hospice, dying. My biggest stream of income at the time stopped overnight—and this is just the short list! I was telling myself horrible things and digging up old, limiting beliefs. I started thinking, “Maybe I’m not smart enough to run a business at this level. Maybe I got lucky and my time is up?” I was telling myself all these negative things, and it was destroying my confidence and feeding my inner villain.

But I changed my state of mind—and I changed it completely—and the one thing that sparked that change was Tony’s incantation and what I termed my personal power phrase. I started saying to myself, “If I can get through this, I can get through anything. If I can get through this, I can get through anything. If I can get through this, I can get through anything!”

I said it repeatedly. I said it out loud as I would walk around the house or around the office. I said it walking to the gym in the morning and when I was on the treadmill. I said it louder and louder and with more conviction until my soul felt it. This simple little phrase empowered my life like I could have never imagined. It energized my cells, it got me into a state of mind where I felt I could handle anything. I stopped thinking about what could go wrong and focused on what could go right. It allowed me to kick the old villain to the curb when he was trying to move back into my life. No way was I letting that happen with my new power phrase! I felt the inner hero take over my soul!

I started using other power phrases to empower my life from that moment on and have never stopped! It’s funny that Tony gave me this gift 15 years ago in one of his courses. At the time, I wrote in my journal: “Someday, I will thank Tony in person and he and I will do business together.” Fast-forward 15 years, and I’m backstage getting ready to inspire 15,000 energized and amazing Chinese people in Shanghai. And guess who I was there with? Yes, Tony Robbins, who is now one of my dearest friends.

I was getting ready to follow Tony on stage, and about 10 minutes before I was scheduled to go on, I got incredibly nervous. I started to question myself and my abilities. I became anxious about letting Tony down, as well as the other 15,000 people who were there.

But guess what I used to turn this situation around? Nothing more than what Tony taught me 15 years earlier through his course. I started walking around backstage repeating a power phrase that I had used a few times before when I had to speak in public. I was literally walking around saying it over and over, and with more intensity each time: “I command my subconscious to use my God-given, unique ability to impact, empower, and transform the lives of the people who are here today!” I repeated it until my confidence grew and fear subsided, and then the inner hero kicked in. I got goose bumps up and down my arms and my face from the amazing experience. Then Tony said my name and called me onto the stage. After Tony gave me a huge bear hug, I was ready to light up that crowd. And that’s exactly what I did!

Your power phrase can ignite your inner hero, and it doesn’t kind of work—it works 100 percent when you use it this way.

What power phrases can you create to help you with whatever it is you want to overcome or accomplish? What can you say to yourself anytime you feel the villain emerging to make you feel small and weak? What phrase can you say to get the inner hero back in charge? Maybe it’s something similar to one of the phrases I use: “Nothing can stop me; I’ve been through way worse!” Or it could be something like, “I’ll never give up because my family deserves the best me!” Whatever it is, keep it active in your mind, ready to be implemented at a moment’s notice.

Write your power phrases in a handy, accessible place right now. What could be your phrase as you’re walking into an important meeting and you’re a little nervous and need a confidence and strength boost? How about before speaking with a spouse about something critical in your relationship, or when talking with your kids about a difficult subject? Is there a phrase you can use before talking to employees or your employer about a tense topic?

Once you find the power phrases that fit you, pick one and say it out loud over and over again in a private setting—walking in the woods or around the house by yourself or when driving your car alone. Don’t just say it, but feel each word. Do it until you feel the energy in your body change, your state of mind shift, and the hero take control. This is you living at your full potential, no boundaries, no judgment, totally in control. Don’t be embarrassed; no one is watching.

Your state of mind and your confidence are vitally important to your next level of success, wealth, and joy. I’ve never met anyone who had limited confidence and still had massive success. On the contrary, all the billionaires, millionaires, happy, and successful people I’ve met not only had a vision of where they were going and an empowering story, but they also had the ability to manufacture confidence and change their state of mind on demand. That means they are letting their inner heroes run their lives rather than the scared, dream-stealing villains. Now you, too, possess the tools to create confidence when it’s needed most.

This chapter was designed to put the final dagger in the villain’s heart and allow the best part of you, your inner hero, to be in control. You now have the tools and knowledge to do that. Remember, this transformation doesn’t happen by practicing once or twice, just like one or two killer workouts at the gym won’t get you the body of an Adonis. The more you practice, the more these shifts in your life will become your new habits and routines. You will see that you can handle life in a totally different way and success will flow to the hero that’s you.

To help make that happen, let’s drill down to the “one thing” that could help you create the wealth, abundance, and self-reliance on the next level to which you aspire.