Write down five adventures that you want to experience:

Love and Relationships

Just as with adventure, the definition of “love” varies widely from person to person. In relationships, energy vampires are thoroughly selfish. You almost certainly know of some special couples who are constantly at loggerheads; who call each other “stupid” and “stupider,” and make you wonder why they are still together at all. Well, these are energy-vampire couples! Beware of their negativity. And to answer your question: they are together in order not to be alone. They say “I love you” only to hear “I love you” back. Energy vampires also like to equip the bedroom with electronic devices. Instead of shooting wild adventure films with their partner, the energy-vampire couple lie dispassionately side by side and occupy themselves independently with their smartphones or their oversized television.

Less demanding are the ants. Ants approach themselves and their lives in such a systematic manner that they often do not view things as critically as others. Ants tend to have average relationships. When they find someone, their friends often tell them they could have done better.

The only time things become dangerous is when an ant has an energy vampire as a partner. Unfortunately, the biggest threat to our personal development can often be found in our beds. It is particularly dangerous when one partner has elevated themselves from “energy vampire” to “ant” (or “ant” to “diamond”) and the other one has no desire to come along with them.

As such, the diamond is much pickier than the ant in their choice of mate. They aren’t looking for the “perfect” match, but for someone with whom, at some point, they can change the world. That’s exactly what superstars do with their partners: they change the world together, writing books or starting charities. “Neither of us is perfect, but we’re perfect for each other.” Superstars always keep their relationships fresh. Even those who’ve been together for years behave the same as the day they met. You might liken it to the way a company treats a newly acquired client. They write love letters, surprise each other, and enjoy each other’s personal growth. In short, they stay in phase one of the relationship, and do not slip into routine customer care.

As a quick aside, there’s a neat test to find out which stage your relationship is in. Put this book aside, dial the number of your better half and, without any introduction, say the three magical words, “I love you.” If all that comes back is, “I love you, too,” you know that there is need for action. More appropriate responses could be:

•What’s happened?

•Do you need money?

•What have you been up to?

•What are you reading there?

Have you ever been at a seminar where you were asked to do such a thing?