part0000

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

Meditation: How to Observe 46 Self-Acceptance and Identity 48 Practicing Observation During Everyday Life 52

Observation Meditation: Observing Your Thoughts 53

CHAPTER FOUR Rememher 61

The Third Practice 61

The Experience of Remembering 64

Visual, Environmental and Musical Reminders 66

Ceremonies 69

Repeating a Name for the Higher Spirit 70 Remembering to Repeat Your Mantra 75 The Farmer and the Spiritual Man 76 Meditation to Remember the Higher Spirit 77

CHAPTER FIVE Let Truth, Guide Your Way 85 The Fourth Practice 85 Truth Versus Relative Reality 86 What It's Like to Live In Truth 89 A Personal Example 91 How to Start Living a Life of Truth 93 How to Hear the Inner Truth 94

Meditation to Develop Intuition and Hear the Inner Voice 96 Balancing the Logical Mind v^dth the Inner Voice 99

Visualization to Gain Insight^ Solve Problems and Develop Effective Courses of Action loi Your Commitment to Truth Must Be Total 107 Meditation: "Who Am If 107

CHAPTER SIX Surrender and Accept 113 The Fifth Practice 113 Its Not Always Easy to Surrender 114 A True Life Example of Practical Benefits 115 The Process of Surrendering 117

CONTENTS

VII

What It Feels Like to Surrender 119 Affirmations to Help You Surrender 120 Affirmations For Surrender and Trust 121

Acceptance 122

Acceptance, Desire and Change 123 Surrender, Acceptance and Happiness 125

Meditation: Surrendering Attachment to Desires 126

CHAPTER SEVEN McJltate I35

The Sixth Practice 135

The Effects of Meditation 136

Let Your Whole Life Be Meditation 138

Consistency is Important 139

A Meditation Guideline 140

Monthly Meditations 141

OM Meditation 144

Meditation for Strength of Willy Endurance and Vitality 146

Salute to the Sun 149 The Importance of a Spiritual Family 154

CHAPTER EIGHT Pvogresswri on the Path 159 Love and Vulnerability 161 Open Heart, Closed Heart 163 The Third Eye 165 Keep Practicing 166 Opening the Heart 167

Meditation to Develop Love, Compassion, Acceptance and

Empathy for Yourself 168 Meditation to Develop Acceptance, Compassion and Empathy for Others 170

CHAPTER NINE Losmg Youv Way 177

Mistaking Your Ovm Desires for the Inner Truth 184 The Lesson 185

Signs and Guidelines to Know^ That You re Lost 187

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New Abilities 190

Confusion, Clinging and Running Away 192 Roadmaps for Enlightened Living 194 The Five Precepts 196

CONCLUSION Homecoming 203

Poetry hy Uma Silhey

Dance Ever So Lightly 6

The Way 17

Being Here 36

Awakening 82

Truth Is no

Be Still 156

The Great Mystery 174

Lost and Found 178

Arise 199

Homecoming 208

DEDICATION

/wish to both thank and dedicate this hook to all those friends, family and teachers who have helped me along my path. Most particularly, I wish to dedicate this book to my grandmother, Lloita Glick, who has always inspired me with her quiet dignity and wisdom, to my friend and aunt, Nancy Baumgartner, who has always provided a listening ear and non-judgmental help to me, and who so willingly provides help and comfort to so many Also to my grandfather, John Reed, who was the first to tell me that I should write books, and to Marcellus Bearheart Williams who has taught me so much in the years I have known him.

I wish to thank my parents, Lloyd Glick and Shirley Murphy, who so unselfishly and lovingly provided me the upbringing in which I could explore myself Thanks also to: Carol LaRusso and Hal Zina Bennett for all their editing help; to Margot Koch and Jim

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

Love of Publishers Design Studio for their wonderful book design and illustration; to Brenda Plowman and Dawson Church of Atrium Publishers Group for their thoughtfiil, expert advice throughout the process; and to David Webb who thought of the title, typeset the book, and has helped in so many other ways to bring it to publication.

Finally, and most importantly, I wish to dedicate this book to my dear husband, Steve Fink, who has always supported and encouraged me through "thick and thin,*' and to my spiritual guide, teacher and friend, Neem Karoli Baba Ji, who is forever alive within my heart.

May all beings be happy!

Uma Silbey Lagunitas, California

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE

INTRODUCTION

7i all started when I found a dead hird and lovingly huried him. A couple of days later, curious to see if he had gone to heaven as Td heen told he would, I scraped the dirt from the little grave I had so lovingly made a few days before. As I dug away the rest of the dirt with my little five-year-old hands, slowly the horrible truth revealed itself to me. I was aghast, shocked, forth ere was the little bird body — still there. Even though I could see that his body was partially decomposed, I didnt think this meant he was halfway to heaven. Instead, I thought that everyone had been lying to me. He wasnt going to heaven — which meant that I wasn t going to

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

heaven, and no one else was either. Who or what could I believe?

From that point, my search for spiritual truth began. A seed was planted, and from that seed began sprouting a growing number of questions and an inner longing for something that I couldn't quite describe, although it felt like love. I remembered the biblical assurance that all you had to do was knock, and eventually the door would be opened. You only needed faith and commitment. Being led by this promise, I vowed to knock until I found the real truth. I didn't know how I would recognize it, but somehow I knew that I would know. So through the years I kept knocking.

I started meditating in my late teens. I didn't have any teachers then, but would acquire books with meditation instructions and do what they said. At the same time, I continued to live a regular life, getting a degree at UCLA, starting a jewelry business and doing my music. To try to understand what the awakening was that I was trying to experience, I proceeded to read every psychological and philosophical book I could get my hands on, from Dostoyevsky, Kant, Kierkegaard and Marx to Freud, Jung, Reich, Fritz Perls and other more modem psychologists. I read, studied and contemplated. I feasted on ancient scriptures from the Vedas, Puranas, Zen and other Buddhist texts, the Bhagavad Gita and the Ramayana.

I didn't just read, I practiced what was suggested. I did the recommended meditations and contemplated Zen koans. I went through two- and three-year periods of celibacy and retreat. I tried to understand non-attachment by giving up everything I owned, household things, businesses, money, and my residence—several

INTRODUCTION

times. Anything that I found myself using to define my identity, I got rid of so I could try and experience my real self I cut oflF all my hair (which was quite long), wore white and fasted. I tried to live as consciously and honestly as I could.

I knew that not only did Christians talk about life everlasting, but so did every other scripture that I had ever read. Every one of the scriptures, whether it was Christian, Buddhist, Moslem or Sikh, talked about an eternal state of being that was love itself, undying and unborn, and said there was a path you could travel that would lead you to it. This realization was what was meant by awakening. From my reading, I knew that there were people who had reached this state of enlightenment, and I vowed that if they could do it, so could 1.1 decided that I would do anything that it took to attain it— whatever // was.

For the next twenty-some years I studied with both Eastern and Western teachers. I spent years practicing kundalini yoga, sound and breath meditations, mantra and bhakti yoga, and vipassana meditation, eventually living as a yogi hermit, spending eighteen to twenty hours a day doing these practices. Then I began studying with a Native American Medicine Man based in the Southwest, doing several vision quests and other traditional practices.

It was easy being blissflilly peacefiil with no distractions, but was it real, or of any use, if it didn't continue when living in the "real"* world? So I entered a new phase of my life, diving headlong into everyday living. In the next years (and today), I became a wife and mother, started and grew a sizeable and successfiil jewelry manufacturing company with fifteen to twenty employees, managed my

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

home, and continued to write and record ten guided visualization and music recordings. I wrote three books and ran workshops, classes and lectures- Needless to say, I was, (and still am), very busy and carried an incredible amount of responsibility—for my children and family, for my business and employees, and for all the people and projects that I was involved in. I had very little time to do yoga or meditation, and had almost no personal space or time to myself. How could I continue to do the practices I'd been taught? Not only was it impossible to do eight to ten hours of meditation a day, it was impossible to do even five minutes at times!

I looked around and saw others who were in similar positions—career people, professionals, people with their own businesses who raised children and had families, who struggled with a similar dilemma: How could we keep up our lifestyle with busy schedules, very little or no personal space, endless responsibilities, and still remain on a spiritual path that would bring inner peace and love into our lives? How could we stay centered, have a calm mind, stay healthy and keep from losing our way in the everyday hustle and bustle of life? As a friend of mine expressed, "I feel like I have to make a choice, either chucking it all and going to live in an ashram, or staying in my impossibly busy life where I'm sacrificing my peace of mind!"

Out of necessity I started adapting the practices I had been taught to the realities of my busy life. I began asking some new questions about them: What practices had the maximum effect in the shortest time? What could be done "on the run?*' What could be done so that I could maintain my spiritual center, my inner peace,

INTRODUCTION

and stay relaxed and full of energy? What kept me constandy in touch with the inner, guiding Spirit in spite of a daily onslaught of household demands, difficult business obligations, broken appointments, constandy ringing phones, impossible schedules and almost no "time for myself?** What was the essence contained in all of the various traditions and practices that I'd worked with, and how could it be organized, practiced and realized in a very busy life such as the one that I was leading? How could life, itself, become my practice?

This book is the result of my efforts to bring these practices into everyday life. In it I describe six practices that you can do during your normal life that will lead you to a state of awareness, wisdom, inner peace and Self-discovery—^practices that really work in a busy, modern life, and not just in the rarefied atmosphere of the ashram or retreat facility. These six practices can be applied to all the real things that you have to deal with in life: being too busy, having families, working, responsibility, relationship, loss, doubt, fear, anger, pride, sickness, birth, death and love. The practices are practical techniques, helping you find your way when you feel overwhelmed, confused or lost. This book is not only meant to instruct, but also to be a companion on your personal journey. Ultimately, what I have written here is a sharing of my heart, so that together we can celebrate the endless presence of living Spirit. Through this sharing, may we inspire each other and come to fully appreciate the infinite reality within that will guide us to know the truth contained in our own souls.

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

DANCE Ever so

LIGHTLY

Do you love what can never he understood hy the mind?

Do you hear the truth

which speaks heyond words?

Then you are one of those hJessed to carry lovers flame in your soul to plant seeds of charity^ and reflect the Great Light within.

So sharpen your discrimination upon the millstone of experience^ and with integrity unconquered embrace its crystalline wisdom.

Then dance ever so lightly

with dawns light in you eye, sweet laughter in your heart, and fire in your soul.

oh, fortunate one,

cry out your fulfillment

with tears of diamond love,

for you are eternally blessed andfiee.

INTRODUCTION

Be Who You Really Are

And Walk Ttie Path To Your Own Awakening.

CHAPTER ONE

Practices

Most spiritual traditions instruct you to take some amount of time away from everyday living in order to look inward, insisting that this is the only way to become enlightened and find true happiness. This may range fiom an hour or two a day, to years in solitary retreat — or even leaving the everyday world altogether. Perhaps the most recent variation ofth IS philosophy was succinctly expressed hy Timothy Leary in the 60's as "Turn on, tune in and drop out" This is not always practical or desirable, however, when you have children, have to earn a living or have other responsibilities.

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

In this book you'll discover that you don't have to drop out or do dnigs to "tune in" or "turn on." Nor do you have to ignore the external world in order to look invi^ard. Instead, you'll use each thing in life as a stepping stone on your ov^n spiritual path. Through the exercises and practices presented here you will use life itself to become aware of a living reality that exists within and without, always there in spite of the constant ebb and flow of emotions, thoughts and life events. You'll be able to live your outward life in harmony with this inner reality, bringing yourself deep fulfillment, internal freedom and inward contentment. You'll be able to be happy—no matter what your life is like.

Normal ]/ersus Spiritual Life

There are many teachings^ both ancient and modern^ that talk about enlightenment, about knowing who we are or experiencing a reality beyond the one we ourselves project to the world. There are also hundreds of ancient, well-tested methods to help us see past what is called the world's "illusion" in order to experience a deeper happiness that doesn't depend on the circumstances of our life. But most of the time the practices associated with traditional spiritual teachings require us to retreat from daily life. They often instruct different forms of abstinence, celibacy, silent retreat, fasting or eating only certain foods. Long hours of meditation,

THE SIX PRACTICES

prayer or yoga are required for many years in a traditional spiritual lifestyle.

These practices do help us acquire peace of mind, concentration and quietness; we can even become wise and enlightened through them. But in modem life this inner quietness and sense of enlightenment begins to disappear as soon as we come back to everyday life. Somehow, we can't quite seem to carry the effects of our practices and realizations into contemporary living.

In light of this, we have to wonder if these types of spiritual paths have any relevance to the ordinary person. The practices seem impossible to do if we also have to answer telephones, pick kids up from school, earn a living, cook meals for our family or keep up with all the constant responsibilities that we have in our life. These practices don't seem to offer any practical help with everyday living as so often their effects keep disappearing as soon as we get back to our everyday life.

As a result, many of us have given up and assumed that we can never find the inner freedom that we're looking for because we're living an everyday life. After all, we can't leave our family, job or other responsibilities. Many of us may feel stuck and somewhat resentful of our everyday lifestyle that seems to have robbed our lives of adventure, purpose and even love. Somewhere, deeply within us we may feel a vague longing or an ache for something that we can't even articulate. It seems as if life has us trapped.

I remember feeling this way when I moved up to San Francisco in 1981 from Los Angeles. For years my life in Los Angeles had been based around various spiritual practices, culminating in two years or

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

SO in celibate retreat, spending up to twenty hours or so a day doing kundalini yoga and various other forms of meditation. Now, living in San Francisco, I was involved in a lifestyle that was completely different! I was beginning a crystal jewelry business, writing books, recording, teaching, managing an organization, getting married and raising a family. I was so busy trying to meet my responsibilities that keeping up with my old spiritual life became impossible. I felt a vague sense of loss and guilt. I felt increasingly frustrated the busier I became and the less free time I had just to relax and be inward. Should I do less? Should I drop out again? In struggling with this dilemma, I finally realized that the only way that it would work was to make my everyday life my practice. So out of all the practices I had done in the past, I began to do those that were most practical, that could be done inconspicuously anywhere, anytime. Because I had so little free time I did the practices that were effective most quickly. As a result, my normal life became my entire path. I found that the spiritual and material life don't have to be opposed to each other. You don't have to leave the world in order to live a life of Spirit. You can live a spiritual life whether you're a householder or a monk, a mother or a nun, a business person or a yogi.

Your Daily Life is Fuel for Your Path

The practices that are presented here are perfectly suited for a busy, modern lifestyle. Rather than being a hindrance, your daily routine

THE SIX PRACTICES

can literally become the focal point for spiritual practice. You don't necessarily do any more or less than normal when you are doing these practices, nor is your routine intrinsically bad or good for them. The focus of your life is more important than the form in which you live it. What is most important is your intention, how you regard and work with your life events. Instead of ignoring feelings, thoughts and other things happening to you, you use these practices to dive into them. There is no avoidance of any part of yourself, only complete acceptance.

Ttie Practices

e six interrelated practices that make up this path are deceptively simple, yet as you do them you'll find that they eventually lead to great depths of understanding and wisdom. These six practices, which are individually explained in the following six chapters, are:

1. Be Present-Centered

2. Observe

3. Remember

4. Follow Truth

5. Accept

6. Meditate

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

The practices are like the threads that form the woof and warp of a single woven tapestry. To experience the strand is to experience its interweaving, which is to ultimately experience the entire tapestry. Each practice supports each one of the others. As you practice one, you practice the others. You will find, for example, that when you are present-centered, you are also in a state of observation. When you observe you experience the truth. Observing the truth is to remember, which is also a meditation. When you are in a state of meditation, you are present-centered. Each of these practices also stands as a single pathway; each one capable of completely guiding you to awareness.

Here is another way to view these practices:

In The Center They Are One

THE SIX PRACTICES

Finding The Time

iott don't need lengthy time periods to do these practices. Start by taking three minutes a day to breathe with long deep breaths while you forget everything else, even if you're at your office desk or standing in line at the bank. Find a few moments to stretch your body, meditate, contemplate or exercise. Be creative. Find where you can make some personal space in your life if you don't have it now. If you're working, take lunch or a fifteen minute break by yourself. Turn off the TV for a half hour (or more) at night. Put your book down. Get up even fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. Take an early morning walk or do them while you're driving to work. If you're shopping, instead of racing down the aisles, walk slowly and take your time. If you're putting your children to sleep, spend a few silent moments with your eyes closed also. Take a warm, soothing bath instead of your usual quick shower. Take a few extra moments enjoying the morning as you go outside to get the newspaper. Be creative. Don't deny yourself this time. With a minimum of commitment this can be done even in the busiest of lives. With commitment, you will find more and more times in your life where you can assign this personal quiet space to yourself

Before long you will find that these practices become a natural part of your day. Eventually, your inward focus will become inseparable from your outward focus, much like in-breath following out-breath. The distinction between time for yourself and time that's not for yourself will disappear. All time will become time for yourself, because everything that you will be doing will be also be developing your own self-awareness. Your entire life wiU serve to nurture you

l6 E N L I G H TENMENT ON THE RUN

instead of deplete you. This doesn't mean that you won't ever get tired, or won t need time to relax your body or mind. It just means that you will be able to find fulfillment, even when you are impossibly busy, tired or relaxed.

Follow these six practices and let your daily routine become a grand adventure instead of something just to be endured. Fill your life with exciting discovery and meaning, even in the midst of difl&-culty. Best of all, do these practices and eventually you will find deep fulfillment as you experience the heart of your inner self, the joyfiil beingness that also lies at the center of all creation. This kind of awakening will bring you happiness beyond even the most exciting rewards of the modern world.

THE SIX PRACTICES

- The way -

Come forwardf my friend^

don't he faint hearted. Don't let this Way's wild turhulence

lessen your will to he free.

Hold fast to the sight

of your hopes and dreams,

as you fearlessly travel the lands

that call to your aching heart.

Be unafraid as you cross

empty deserts of confusion, and wander through midnight valleys of fear.

Fly, my friend.

Trust the wings of love

that transport you through

these vast distances of not-knowing.

Trust and he carried

faithfully to the home

that has been calling so sweetly

in the night whispers of your soul.

CHAPTER TWO

Be Present-Centered

Ttie First Practice

rhe first of the six practices is to he present-centered. This IS one most important practices because you cant master any ofthe others without mastering this one. The more that you re centered in the present, the more depth youH achieve when you do the other practices. What does it mean to he present-centered? To he present-centered means very simply to he here now. To he here now is to have your entire awareness centered right here where you are instead of thinking ahout yesterday or tomorrow You re not even thinking of the last second. You re aware of

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

your feelings noiv^ rather than comparing them to past feelings or how you might he feeling in the future. Neither are you thinking that you should or could he feeling differently than you are noux To he present is to let go of every other awareness and experience yourself totally as you really are in each moment.

How does this translate into daily living? Simply this: If you're present-centered as you drive your car, you're awrare of the motions of your body as you drive, the sounds that you're hearing, the feeling of the car seat beneath you and the sensation of speed. You aren't thinking of your wrorkday, the coming w^eekend, what you should have done or vsdll be doing next. If you are cooldng a meal, you're aware of the motions of your spoon in the bowl, the smell of the ingredients, the heat of the oven, the sounds of the boiling water and the cutting of your knife. You are completely focused on cooking. If you are present-centered in this way, every action becomes a meditation in complete awareness. Not only this, but practically speaking, living becomes much more interesting as your range of experience wddens. Even the most mundane things in your life become very interesting as you notice things that you never noticed before, even if they're things that you don't usually enjoy. Walking out to your car in the morning, for example, becomes so much richer an experience when you take the time to notice the earth that you are walking on, the air that you're breathing and your feelings at the time.

What is it like to be present-centered? When you are completely here in the present, there is a sense of time slowing or

BE PRESENT-CENTERED

Stopping. Each moment becomes an eternity beyond time. If you stop comparing one moment to another, how can you have a sense of time's passage? Do you remember how long a day was when you were a child with no concerns other than what you were doing? Do you remember how free you felt? This is what it feels like to be centered in the present. When you are here now, there is a feeling of being collected within yourself instead of feeling frantically scattered outward. You feel as if you have a center to you which gives you a feeling of inner security. Instead of a galloping mind, your thoughts seem to slow down so that you become aware of each single thought—and eventually the spaces between thoughts. Instead of racing emotions, your feelings become calm. You feel as if you are a deep, still pool of water inside.

The more you become focused in the present moment, the more this calmness will increase. How can you worry or be afraid if you are not thinking of the fiiture, for example? How can you feel guilty or resentfril if you are not thinking of the past?

Know who You Are

It is only when you are centered in this present moment that you can begin to know who you really are. The "you" that can be known is only here, nowhere else, so if you aren't here, centered in the present, where is the "you" to experience? If your thoughts and feelings are racing outwards in all directions, how can you possibly focus inward? You can't. If you allow your mind to endlessly chase after

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

every passing thought and emotion, all you are aware of are the thoughts and emotions, not yourself. Being present means shifting your attention back to yourself It means focusing on the "you" that is experiencing these thoughts and emotions. Then you htcome you, the experiencer. When you are aware of yourself as the experiencer, you will notice that you are separate from whatever is experienced. You are being you, and you are merely having thoughts and feelings. You are being, not having. So when you focus on you, the experiencer, you shift your focus to your own beingness.

Now do this: Shut your eyes for a moment and focus on yourself Feel yourself as "you." Don't try to explain or define yourself. Just get a sense of the "you" that is inside your body. If you become distracted by thoughts or feelings, just drop your attention from them and bring it back to your sense of being "you." Where are you? Can you define the space that you occupy? Can you find any edges to yourself? Do you have a sense of being in your body? Are you outside of your body? Keep focusing on your sense of "you" at the same time that you ask yourself these questions: Where are you? Can you come up with any other answer other than you are here} Now remember yourself in a past situation. Recreate that situation in your mind and put yourself there. Now, while you are still reliving that situation as if you are there now, ask yourself the same question. Where are you? Not, where is your body or where is your mind, but where is the "you" that is having thoughts and feelings and causing your body to move? All you can say is that you are here. Similarly, think about your dreams. At the time that you're dreaming, aren't

BE PRESENT-CENTERED

you usually only aware of yourself as being "here" in your dream? Aren't you still the one experiencing and acting?

Have you ever been aware of a time that you were not here, whether in the past, present or in your dreams? No. You are always here. This is true in spite of the fact that your thoughts and feelings always change. You're always here, even though your body has completely changed over the years. You have a sense of being "here" even when you are in the dream state, and even when you are in an altered state of consciousness. So even though everything about you changes, you are always here.

In order, then, to know who you really are, you need to con-standy bring your focus back to here. Where is here? It is the present moment. To live consciously, in complete self-awareness is to let go of each past moment and open to what is here now. As you slow down and center into the present, each moment will expand to include worlds of meaning and new experience. It's as if time stands still and you enter a whole new universe. It is here that inspiration, intuition and creativity are born. It's here that you relax and gain true inner refreshment and renewal. Your entire being expands past any limitation. Instead of just enduring the onslaught of daily pressures, you'll be able to relax and dive into them, moment to moment. When you do that, even the most diflficult experiences become your food for growth and personal expansion.

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

Three Steps to Being Present-Centered

at Jo you Jo to he preseni-centereJ? The instructions are easy:

1. Anytime that you discover that you are thinking of anything else other than what you are doing in the present moment, let those thoughts go and bring all of your attention back to now,

2. As soon as you are aware that your feelings are taking you away from your present focus, drop your attention from them and bring it back to what you are doing now,

3. Keep your awareness totally focused here, now, no matter what you are doing.

The breathing exercise at the end of this chapter will help you develop the ability to become present-centered. The eating meditation will show you how even a mundane activity can be used for awakening. Let these exercises teach you, and then apply what you've learned to the rest of your life.

BE PRESENT-CENTERED

The key is to use every event and action in your life as an opportunity to be entirely here now. The largest practical problem faced in living a "householder*" lifestyle instead of in the simplified environment of the ashram or retreat space is how to handle your responsibilities, remember everything and get things done wdthout having so much on your mind that you are no longer focused on the here and now. You don't have this problem in the ashram or retreat space—^from personal experience. Now I run a good-sized business, have a family, manage a household, vsnrite books and record music and sponsor meditation events. In a busy life such as this, there is a way to empty your mind of the future so that you can bring it to the present.

The solution is to write things down. Don't try to store so much in your mind. Get a good calendar to record what you have to do as it comes up. Once you do this, stop thinking about it. Drop all thoughts of what you have to do firom your mind and return to the present. Perhaps do a few long deep breaths to help you.

Write down things that you want to remember, whether it's short-term or long-term. Keep a separate book of thoughts and ideas so you don't have to worry about forgetting them. Keep all calendars and notes where they are handy at all times.

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

Be Aware of Your Ttioughts

With practice it will hecome easier for you to become present-centered. Eventually it will become automatic. At first, however, being present-centered requires constant vigilance. For example, how many times have you driven someplace only to find that you can't even recall the drive? Where were you when your body was automatically driving the car? How many times have you not heard someone speaking to you when you were thinking of something else? You will find yourself drifting away from the here and now like this over and over again during the day.

When you find that you have drifted this way, or your thoughts have wandered into the future or past, just let them go and bring your focus back to the present. To do this, you can use the following technique:

1. Take a long deep breath, feeling as if you are being pulled back into yourself as your breath enters.

2. As your breath leaves, allow yourself to relax. Let go of your clenched stomach, and the tension in your jaw, the small of your back and the backs of your knees. Let your shoulders drop and feel your feet as being solidly on the earth.

3. As you relax and breathe, bring yourself back to here.

BE PRESENT-CENTERED

When you are thinking, be aware that you are thinking instead of letting your mind wander, carrying you away with it. Be entirely focused on each thought. If you are figuring out what movie to see, for example, don't at the same time plan what time to get the babysitter, what you're going to feed the kids, how tired you'll be in the morning, whether you'll be able to do your work the next day, etc. You don't have to take a lot of time to focus on each thought. This can be done with lightning speed if necessary.

Think of one thing at a time and make one decision at a time. When you are thinking of many things at once rather than one at a time, you are never entirely focused on any one thought. Instead, you're focused on nothing—and then you are nowhere.

When you are only partially focused on your thoughts, feelings or actions, this not only carries you away from your present awareness but it never allows you to entirely drop them from your conscious or subconscious attention. They begin to pile up in your mind. This is what produces feelings of being scattered, anxious or overwhelmed. As your mind starts racing from half-thought to thought, your feelings likewise will become jumbled and confused. When you experience this too long, you eventually either "fall apart,*' or handle it by feeling partially or totally empty inside, divorced from your inner self. It is only by becoming more present-centered that you reverse this process and can begin to find your way through life's maze of problems, pressures and frustrations.

In order to be present-centered, you don't have to stop having feelings or thoughts. Just don't lose yourself in them. If you are thinking, be entirely focused on each thought as it comes up. Then

ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN

let it go completely as it leaves you. If you are feeling angry, don't feel only part of your anger, or your anger and everything else at the same time. Just feel your anger now, moment to moment as it is happening.

Being present-centered doesn't necessarily mean that you'll now only have "good*" feelings instead of "bad*" feelings. However, you will find that as you become more present-centered, you won't get as angry, depressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. As this happens, the content of your feelings often change for the better.

The following are two exercises that you can do to become more present-centered. You can do them nearly anytime during your day: while watching your kid at the park, cooking a meal, doing your work, or watching TV. You can also do these as a regular meditation, setting aside an hour, half hour, or even a few minutes every day.

Long Deep Breathing Meditation to Become Presen t- Cen tered

This is one of the most simple yet effective meditations that you can do. The effects are many. You will become present-centered. Your mind and emotions will be calm and your body will relax. You'U feel expanded and filled with a sense of well being as your heart opens to the love that is always within you. When your heart center

BE PRESENT-CENTERED

is open, you will be able to express yourself emotionally, feel compassion and empathy. This meditation will help bring you into a state of natural balance and develop the ability to effortlessly concentrate your mind to think clearly. This is an excellent meditation to do regularly once a day for three minutes, ten minutes or any time up to an hour. Though you may feel a difference the first time you practice, most of the effects are cumulative and will develop over time.

Tiie Meditation

1. Sit comfortably with your spine straight, your feet on the ground, legs uncrossed, your chin level and your eyes closed.

2. If appropriate, bring your palms together as if you are praying and rest the sides of your hands against the middle of your chest with a slight pressure. You can also rest your hands in your lap.

3. Breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose, completely filling your lungs without straining or gasping. Feel the breath enter your nose and move down to fill your lungs.

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4. When your lungs are filled, slowly exhale through your nose, feeling as if all tension leaves with your breath. Relax and completely empty your lungs without gasping or straining.

5. As you breathe, completely focus all of your attention on the breath as it flows in and out of your body. If thoughts or emotions arise, just notice them and let them go. Continually bring your attention back to your breath. No matter what else you may see, hear or feel, notice it and bring your attention back to your breath. Eventually the workings of your mind and emotions will become still and your attention will become effortlessly focused. You will go deeper and deeper into yourself.

6. With time, your breath will become increasingly slower, with distinct spaces between the in-breath and the out-breath. At this time, focus both on the breath and the spaces between the breath. At no time should you strain, gasp or try to forcefully slow your breath.

You will feel more and more deeply relaxed. At times, you may feel as if you are so light that you are floating. Don't let this sensation distract your attention. Just

BE PRESENT-CENTERED

notice, and bring your attention back to your breathing.

8. Repeat this long deep breathing until you feel calm and centered or for at least three minutes to start. Increase the time as you feel ready. You will know when you are centered because you will feel as if you are filled with a deep peacefiilness. You will feel as if you are gathered into your center with no intruding thoughts and emotions. With practice, you will feel as if you are just beingness, beyond body and thought. You wiU feel complete and whole in yourself, and totally fiilfilled.

Eating Meditation To Become Present-Centered

Hie following is a meditation that you can Jo while eating to learn to become present-centered. As a side benefit, you will eat more slowly, chew more completely, taste more and digest your food better. You will become more aware of your body's internal signals so that you start being more conscious of what you eat, how much you eat and its effect on you. When you pay attention to your eating this way, you'll notice what foods make you feel better or worse, and will naturally, then, start eating what's healthier for you. You'll also eat

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less. This is also a good meditation, then, to lose weight and improve your health through conscious eating. You can do this eating meditation alone or with your entire family.

Ttie Meditation

1. Close your eyes for a couple of moments, collecting yourself with your in-breath and relaxing with your out-breath. Do this for three or four breaths. If you like, further "tune in" by taking a few moments to feel thankfulness for your life, for your food and for the plants and animals that have given their lives that you may live.

2. Open your eyes and gaze at the food on your plate. Notice what it looks like. Notice its colors, odors, arrangement and other attributes.

3. Now begin to eat. As you do, be aware of the action of picking up your eating utensil. Notice how your hand grasps the utensil. Be aware of the cutting, scooping, stabbing, scraping and other actions as you pick up the food to bring it to your mouth. Be aware of your arm bending and any other body action as you bring the food to your mouth.

BE PRESENT-CENTERED

4. Next, notice how you bite the food. Feel your teeth touching and your jaw moving as you begin to bite into the food. Notice the heat or coldness, the texture and the softness or hardness of the food as you bite into it.

5. Now, as you chew your food, feel your teeth touching and your jaw continuing to move. Feel your tongue as it moves the food around in your mouth. Notice where the food touches your tongue and the inside of your mouth. How does it feel in your mouth? Notice the saliva as it enters and joins with the food and the changing texture and temperature of the food as it is chewed.

6. After experiencing the chewing of the food, swallow and be aware of it as it passes dovm your throat, esophagus and into your stomach. Can you feel the warmth or coldness as it passes? Notice how your stomach feel as it fills with food. Notice any other sensations that you feel in your body as it fills with food.

7. As you bite, chew and swallow, notice the taste of the food without evaluating how good or bad it is. Just

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notice how it tastes. Notice any after-taste that lingers in your mouth after you have swallowed.

8. As you do this, let all thoughts, evaluations, feelings and other distractions go. Just notice them, and then let them go from your mind, focusing again on the food and your eating process.

9. Notice your eating pace. Are you concentrating on getting more food to put in your mouth before you have even tasted what you have in there now? If so, you're cheating yourself of completely tasting and otherwise experiencing your food. Take a moment to feel your body. Notice if you have had enough to eat, if you feel fiill. If you are, stop eating.

10. When you are done eating, focus on the action of putting your eating utensils down and taking your napkin off of your lap (if you are using one).

11. Notice how you feel after finishing your meal. Notice if you feel satisfied. Do you taste any aftertaste of the food? Do you feel the warmth of a fiill stomach? Take a few moments to be aware of any emotions or

BE PRESENT-CENTERED

thoughts that you have that are associated with the meal. After noticing them, let them go. Be aware of what you do to signal the end of your meal. Now with complete awareness, arise from the table.

As you learn to be more in the here and now by doing this eating meditation, you will notice many other areas in your life where you can apply the same technique. For example, you can focus in the same way that you do in this meditation while brushing your teeth, taldng a shower, dressing, walking, changing diapers or driving a car. The main thing when using daily life events as your meditation, is to focus as completely as possible on every action, perception and sensation so that you are completely here now. When you are perceiving and acting from a position of being present-centered, even these more mundane life events will offer you realization.

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BEING HERE

When you are here

It doesnt have anything to do With what s around you.

Because —

Being Here

Is heyond such considerations As time, space and matter.

To he here

Is to he everywhere and nowhere At the same time.

In fact —

There is nowhere else You ever are But here.

When you are here Your life is Endless.

BE PRESENT-CENTERED

Ultimately Love Is The Center Of All Creation

CHAPTER THREE

serve

Ttie Second Practice

ro observe is to notice your experience, moment hy moment in the "here an J now" without the interference of your judgments, hopes, opinions, definitions, douhts, fears or other mental/emotional reactions. When you observe, you just take note, without taking action or making a decision about what you notice. It is important to he as honest as you can possibly be with yourself so that you can experience the way something actually is rather than how you would like it to be or how you might fear it to be.

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There is nothing in life that you can't observe, whether it be thoughts, feelings, appearances, motivations, cause and effect relationships or anything else. You can notice everything in the world around you.

When you can observe things as they are, rather than how you think or believe them to be, your understanding will grow and you will gain real wisdom. Observation has many practical benefits as well. With observation, for example, you'll find that your actions and decisions will become more effective and appropriate to the real situation, whether it be at home or at work. When you can observe and relate to yourself as you really are, you can do the same with others. You'll begin to have relationships that are deeper and more fill-filling than ever before.

Seeing and the Process of Separation From Self

Tt can he helpful to think in terms of there heing two distinctively different processes—"seeing" and "observing." Think of seeing as separating yourself from what you're looking at in order to name, compare, contrast, react or make other decisions or assumptions in order to describe it to yourself (This is true not only when you see, but also when you receive information through any of your five senses.) It's as if there is a voice in your head that keeps up a running

OBSERVE

commentary on what you are viewing or sensing, constantly interpreting your experiences instead of simply letting you take them in. A friend of mine once compared this interpretive voice to the experience of going to a movie with someone who talks through the whole thing, telling you what's coming next or giving his or her opinions about every scene! The effect of this kind of "seeing** is to distance you from the world, creating a sense of separation that can be quite uncomfortable, robbing you of enjoying the real richness and beauty of your life.

You learn this process of separation as you grow from a newborn and learn to differentiate what you see into separate objects. It's part of the naming process that we learn from our parents and the entire culture around us: "Look at the ducky" "Here is mommy.** "Here is your bottle.** This process intensifies as you develop language. Finally you do this continually with everything that you see, faster than conscious thought. Like breathing, it's done so automatically that you aren't aware of the process unless you consciously focus on it.

This process of separation and objectifying isn't wrong. You need to do this in order to speak, to relate to others and otherwise function in daily life. However, every time that your mind assigns a name to what you see, you limit your experience, forcing it to fit into your own mental description. Your world shrinks into a "manageable** size. You stop directly experiencing your world first hand, and instead experience it according to how it conforms to a set of pictures, words and interpretations you are storing in your mind. When you look at a tree, for example, you automatically "know** that it is

42 ENLIGHTE NMENT ON THE RUN >4<

green and brown, and the leaves move because of the wind. You "knoW* even without looking, that it grows out of the dirt, so it requires only a cursory glance to confirm the fact that the brown earth is there. You might take another glance to notice that there is also green at the base of the tree, which you know is grass. Because you "know" what trees, dirt and grass look like, (based on shared characteristics of past similar objects), you don't feel that you need to look further to see them. Following this example, you probably wouldn't even notice the white birds hidden in the branches, the fruit scattered on the ground beneath it, or the girl peeking from behind the trunk. Because you didn't bother to look more closely, you only saw what you "knew" instead of what was really there. How much of the physical world around us we miss because of this!

We also limit our experience of ourselves and others when we judge or objectify, such as: *Tm fat!" "You're beautifiil!" "I'm confused!" Or: "We're good, they're bad;" "We're happy, they're unhappy;" "I'm Julie..." "I'm Ted..." "I know...I don't know!" "They're students." "I'm a father." Endlessly, we automatically categorize and name ourselves and others, growing increasingly separate from our direct inner experience of self and others. We forget that everything in the world, including each other, is constantly changing and cease to see what is fresh and new as each moment unfolds. Over and over we relate to what we "knoV about another rather than more deeply experiencing them as they really are. How easy it is for relationships to become shallow, boring and trite when we unwittingly objectify and encapsulate each other.

OBSERVE

How limiting our relationships can be as we unwittingly hold each other apart through our judgments and interpretations.

Ohservation

With ohservation this process of separation is reversed and you can begin to experience yourself and your life more directly. When you observe, you don't hold yourself apart from that which you see, because you don't try to label or describe it. To observe is to see past the surface characteristics of things, to momentarily let go of all your "knowing" to see what is really so. To observe is to let go of what you "know" in order to experience yourself and the world as fresh and new, a moment that has never existed before and will never exist again.

Think how interesting it is to experience something new! When something is new, it totally captures our attention. Imagine this: Someone says to you that they're going to give you a bite of the best-tasting dessert that they had ever had in their entire life. "This is so good that it's going to blow your mind!" they say to you. Now imagine that they begin to bring a spoon to your lips with a big bite of it. You look at the bite on the spoon, open your mouth, and with total concentration you begin tasting the flavor of the most scrumptious dessert that you can imagine. Filling your mouth, for a few moments you're aware only of the exquisite taste as, swallowing, you enjoy the sensation of the flavor lingering in your mouth.

Now contrast this with our normal style of eating. It's much less fun! We don't usually enjoy each bite to the degree that we did

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the new dessert. In fact, most of the time we re busy talking and doing other things so much when we eat that we barely taste our food. Our attention is focused elsewhere. It's easy to eat an entire meal and not even remember much about it, other than to somewhat automatically categorize it as "good," "not good," "hot," **too dry," "just how you like it," etc. Think about how much more interesting the bite was of the brand new dessert that you tasted. Then you were totally involved, not thinking about an)thing else, relaxed, and totally yourself in the moment. This is like observation. When you obser\'e, life gets much more interesting, just as that bite of dessert was. You feel more involved, present, expanded and alive.

In the act of observing, you're so involved that you don't "know" anything. In tasting the dessert, you didn't know what it would taste like. You just tasted it. Like the moment of first tasting the dessert, your mind empties, no longer figuring, inferring, deducing, categorizing or naming. To observe, then, is the opposite of ordinary seeing. There is no sense of "you" as distinct and separate firom the "other." That part of you which constantly anal}'zes, compares, contrasts and otherwise maintains your independent identity, is silent. Instead, you have a sense of merging with or being in complete harmony with the world. When you observe, you feel, you intuit and ultimately get in touch with your deeper inner knovdng. The more that you practice observation, the more this mner sense of knowing opens to you.

Observation can only be done in the present, not in the past or the future. You can only observe what is actually here now. The past is like a shadow, only a memory stored in your mind. You can't ob-

OBSERVE

serve the actual past. You can, however, observe yourself recalling the past and the pictures of the past that you hold in your mind. Similarly, you cannot observe the future, that is, what is yet to happen. You can only observe the pictures in your mind or yourself in the action of fearing, imagining, hoping, or inferring what might be. The more that you can be centered in the here and how, rather than in the future or past, the more wUl be available for your observation.

You'll be amazed at what will begin to happen the more that you observe. The veils of objectifying and naming, which previously hid the world from you, and you from yourself, will slowly be removed. Your world will expand beyond what you've imagined as you begin to experience what you'd been blind to before. The world will come out of hiding, revealing its true nature. Your inner self will come out of hiding also. You'll be able to learn so much more about the people and life around you as your vision widens. Your relationships with people will deepen as you're able to relax, be more vulnerable and relate to others as they are inside. You'll become more intuitive, inspired, energetic and creative. For most of us, this doesn't happen overnight. But by just being willing to slow down and "know" a little less, and taking the time to look, it does begin to happen more and more. So be patient with yourself Stick to the observation practice and it will most assuredly come.

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Meditation: How To observe

The following are the instructions for observation. The first few times you do it, be in a place free of distractions and free of the possibility of being interrupted. Start with just a few minutes of practice and eventually, if you like, increase your time up to an hour a day. By doing this you will learn to observe. Then, incorporate this practice into your daily life. You can observe anything at anytime, be it at work, at home, in the car, being with friends or strangers.

If you don't have the time to start this practice as a longer exercise first done in isolation at home, go ahead and immediately incorporate it into your daily life. Many people start observing while they are doing routine tasks such as jogging, walking, washing the dishes or running copies at work.

Ttie Meditation

1. Choose an object, a feeling, thought or action that you want to observe. Begin to focus all of your attention on it. For example, if doing this exercise in private, you might light a candle and observe it. Or you might observe a flower or a feeling of sadness or joy you happen to experiencing at the time.

OBSERVE

2. Continue to notice more and more about the action, object, feeling or thought. As you focus your attention in this way, you may notice how thoughts and feelings, or your inner "interpretive" voice starts intruding. At this point it's not important to know that you do not have to allow your attention to shift to these '^intruders." Let the intruder enter, acknowledge its presence, then let it go, shifting your attention back to your chosen focus. (For example, while doing this exercise recently, I kept having a troubling thought about my business intrude. I finally had to say to myself, "Okay, I have noted the problem and I will take care of it later. But for now I choose to focus my attention on my meditation.") Continue emptying your mind this way, continually bringing your attention back to what you are observing.

3. If you feel yourself getting tense, focus for a moment on the area of tension. Then, let those muscles gradually relax, becoming softer, warmer, more comfortable. If you like, use your breath to relax. Let out the tension with your out-breath and feel yourself bringing in peacefiilness with your in-breath. Continue to observe as you do this.

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4. Be gentle with yourself. Do not force yourself to concentrate or try to not think. If you do this, your mind and emotions will race even more.

Don't be afraid to notice everything that you can. Be impeccably honest with yourself This will help you develop your skill. The more skilled you are in your observation, the more underlying subtleties you will see. You'll discover hidden motivations and underlying emotions. You'll be able to notice the continual interplay between thought and emotion and how action influences action. Instead of clinging to comfortable suppositions about yourself and the world, continually seek the truth. Be adventurous and have courage, for observation is the road to wisdom.

Self-Acceptance and identity

The honesty that you need in order to observe entails acceptance (see Chapter 6 for more about acceptance.) When observing in this way it is not unusual to discover things that we don't like. Our first reaction is usually to resist or deny what has come up. Each time we resist or deny, however, we simply push our discovery underground, ensuring that it will rise again. On the other hand, if we continue to simply observe it, the negative charge we attach to it is gradually removed, eventually liberating us completely from our discomfort. So,

OBSERVE

continue to observe when this happens. Don't be afraid to be honest with yourself. The hardest to observe is yourself because often what you find is the hardest to accept. To observe honestly may require that you shed old ideas about who you are and what you're like. You may uncover parts that you are ashamed of, make you sad or are hard to accept. You may find within you jealousy or greed. You may have to experience painfiil feelings of being unloved or unaccepted.

I know that in my own life I used to have a hard time accepting that I had anger within me. I had this image of the perfect spiritual person being somewhat like the ever-calm Buddha. "Buddha never got angry!" I said to myself. So I decided that if I was going to be a spiritual person I could never be angry, but should always try to transmute those feelings. So every time that I even started to observe anger within me, I tried to tell myself that it wasn't there, that I had transmuted it or that it was something else. It only made it worse if someone even suggested that I was angry. I would hotly deny it! The more that I pushed it away, the worse it got. For awhile, I wouldn't even allow myself to observe it at all. Finally I couldn't ignore it any longer. I slowly began to notice my anger instead of denying it. Then I began to notice how I tried to not be angry and discovered that underneath it I felt that I was somehow bad every time that I was angry, that I was unworthy, that I was unlovable.

As I continued to observe my anger and the associated underlying emotions that I had discovered something miraculous began to occur. In time, as I continued to observe, my anger lessened until it became just one more of the emotions that I experienced from time to time. Eventually, I even gave up my internal model of a spiritual

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person as being one who never got angry. (It helped to recall that even Jesus got mad at the money changers in the temple and threw over their tables.) My feelings of being bad or unworthy when I got angry left me entirely

Instead of ignoring or running away from negative feelings, observe them. Let them exist v^thin you and allow yourself to experience them as coming and going wdthin you. Then their negative charge will lessen. You will know without a doubt that they are not who you are inside, but are only temporary feelings. If you experience difficulty accepting the negative things or "shadow side" of yourself, it wdll help to contemplate this:

Enlightenment Is Not About Becoming A Perfect Human Being, But Only About Becoming Perfectly Human.

Is It Not Said We Are Made In The Image Of God?

It is not only negative things that are hard to accept. Sometimes positive things are equally hard. For instance, beautiful women often reject their beauty, thinking that it attracts others to their body rather than to their Self Observe yourself impartially,

OBSERVE

accepting the entire truth as you are experiencing it in the ever-changing present moment.

Self-acceptance doesn't mean that you never change any emotions or other parts of yourself It only means that during the time that you are in the state of observation you accept everything. After you observe, you can decide to make changes or not. In fact, it's not advisable to make any changes unless you've first spent some time observing openly and honestly, so that you can know what changes to make. Anything less will be ineffective. If you do make changes, you observe yourself deciding to change, then observe yourself making the change.

When you observe, you eventually develop a sense of identity that is apart from your mind and emotions. You become identified with you the observer, rather than with what part of yourself you are observing. When you get angry, for example, instead of being only aware of being angry, you will be the one also watching the anger. It is as if you say to yourself: "Ah, here is anger, now here is my voice being raised, here is guilt for feeling anger, here is clenching in my stomach, here is the wanting to strike out, here is the feeling of hurt and sadness," etc. Instead of mistaking yourself as being the anger (and the associated reactions), you are just having it. The more you observe, the more you are aware of yourself as the ever-steady one (the observer) upon whose surface these endless thoughts and emotions come and go.

With less personal involvement and more knowledge of the workings of your mind and emotions, you will experience them diflferently. You will still feel and think, but it won't seem so critical

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or pressing. With less personal investment, your fear won't last as long or be as intense. Your sadness will pass more quickly. You won't desperately cling to temporary feelings of ecstasy, relying instead on the deeper happiness within that is now allowed to naturally emerge. As your thoughts and feelings cease to imprison you, this sense of yourself deepens into a wordless and formless clarity. You develop a rich calmness, and an unexplainable yet peaceful sense of identity that has nothing to do with the "passing show** of things observed. With that consciousness, a deep inner happiness will begin to grow within your heart.

Practicing Observation During Everyday Life

This practice of ohservation is perfect for a husy lifestyle because, as explained earlier, there is no end to what can be observed. When you are outside, observe nature. See how the wind turns the leaves as it rustles through the trees. Notice the delicate balance and interde-pendencies of all animals, plants, people, the earth and sky, seeing how the altering of one part affects the rest. If you're doing dishes, observe the food leaving the plates, feel the soapy water on your hands, be aware of the feeling of the dishrag and the action of scrubbing on the plates. If you are getting a cup of tea or cooking a meal, observe every detail of each action, every smell and taste sensation from beginning to end. Observe every detail of each object involved. The old familiar teapot, for example, looks different every time you

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view it. The light reflects differently off its surface every time that you hold it. The beads of moisture dripping down its sides form different patterns as they flow downward. The tea leaves at the bottom of the pot form different patterns every time.

The rest of your life holds so much more when you start to observe. With observation, even the most mundane things in life become meaningful and interesting. Your entire viewpoint shifts. Life becomes your ally rather than your enemy, because each happening in it, however threatening or insignificant, becomes an opportunity to gain wisdom. Life becomes a journey of discovery rather than something that must be endured or conquered. The practice of observing helps us to let go of fear and insecurity, to relax, and embrace every part of our lives.

Observe and see how much your world is determined by your own thoughts and feelings. Have you noticed how ugly the world seems, for example, when you're in a bad mood? Similarly, have you noticed how wonderful the world seems when you're "in love?" With observation you will ultimately see that your thoughts and feelings create "realities" in the world, and even of yourself, which are really just illusions. What's more, v^th this revelation we see that we can have a choice about how we experience our lives.

ohservation Meditation (Observing Your Ttioughts)

The following meditation is one with many far-reaching benefits. Some of these are: You will learn to observe. Your ability to

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concentrate will improve as you learn to focus on one thought without being distracted by others. Your mind will become clear and strong. You will feel your mind, body and emotions calm as you become more present-centered. You'll feel less anxiety, fear and tension. You'll begin to feel lighter, as if all your burdens are falling from your shoulders. Your inner strength will begin to emerge, leaving you feeling free and clear. Most importantly, this meditation has the potential to lead you to the ever-present Self, the spiritual essence that exists independently fix)m your thoughts or emotions.

These benefits will not come to you all at once. When you first start doing this meditation, you may experience nothing more than a momentary calm within you. Or you may at first experience your mind racing more than ever. You might have trouble sitting still and concentrating. If these things happen, don't worry. The more you do this meditation, the easier it gets. Don't try to force the changes you want. This not only won't work, but it will have the opposite effect that you desire. This is an ancient Buddhist practice that has worked for centuries. In fact, it is said that this meditation alone can lead you all the way to the enlightenment that you seek. Anyone who practices this meditation faithfiiUy finds it will work. Patience and persistence is the key.

Ttie Meditation

1. Choose a place and time to do this meditation where you will not be interrupted until after you are finished.

OBSERVE

2. Sit in a chair with your spine straight, your feet flat on the floor, and your hands resting on your lap. Your head should be looking straight ahead; your chin should be level. If you like, you can lie flat on your back on a firm surface. Choose the position above that is the most comfortable for you.

3. Close your eyes and begin to focus on your breathing. Breathe in through your nose with a long, slow, deep breath. Be aware of the air as it enters through your nose and flows downward to fill your lungs. When your lungs are filled, slowly breathe outward. Be aware as the air passes out from your nose to completely empty your lungs. At no time should you strain or gasp for air. Continue this process, relaxing and centering yourself with every out-breath. Do this for one minute. If you are stiU not relaxed, do it for up to three minutes.

4. Now, begin to breathe normally, and shift your focus to your thoughts. Begin to paying closer attention to what you are thinking. If you have trouble finding any thoughts, find the voice inside you that may be saying, "What thoughts? I'm not having any thoughts.** Focus on that.

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5. Now continue to observe your thoughts as they arise. Watch each thought as it comes. Continue to observe as it departs. When that thought is gone, drop your attention from it and focus on the next thought that arises. If you cannot drop your attention from a departing thought, just observe yourself thinking itagain.

6. Don't deliberately try to think. Just be patient, and let thoughts come up in their own time and manner, and then focus on them as they come up.

7. Watch one thought lead to another. Watch partial thoughts as well as complete thoughts. Let thoughts come up as they may. Don't repress thoughts or judge yourself Don't stop to analyze your thoughts. If the next thought that arises, however, is a judgment or analysis of the last thought, observe it too. Watch all thoughts, even those you may not like or understand.

8. Eventually, you will find that your mind has slowed down. Instead of thoughts racing from one to another, they arise more slowly. You may become aware of spaces or lulls between your thoughts. When that happens, observe the space between your thoughts until another thought arises.

OBSERVE

9. Anytime you find your mind wandering, bring your focus back to your thoughts again.

10. If you catch yourself being distracted by other emotions or other outside sounds and disturbances, just drop your attention from them and focus again on your thoughts.

11. At times you may be distracted by many inner sensations such as sounds, colors or lights. You may have sensations of floating or flying. Don't let yourself be distracted by these sensations. Drop your attention from them if they arise, and focus, instead on your thoughts again.

12. At times you may find that your body involuntarily rocks back and forth, or makes other motions. You may find that your breathing speeds up or slows down. You may find that your breathing stops entirely. These are all natural processes and may happen as you do this meditation. If you find yourself distracted by this, just focus on your thoughts again. Observe those thoughts that are focused on what is happening to your body or breathing.

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13. When you are done with the meditation, shift your focus away from your thoughts and back to your breathing. Inhale deeply and quickly through your nose, and exhale forcefully through your mouth. Do this three times. Then feel the chair or floor beneath you. Recall the room or environment in which you are doing this meditation.

14. When you are ready, open your eyes. Then stretch your body, and get up.

You can start doing this meditation for as little as three minutes at a time. Then slowly increase your time. In order to begin to experience the benefits of this meditation, do it every day for at least thirty days. As you become more practiced, you can apply the things you've learned here in your daily routine. No matter where you are, short of driving your car, you can close your eyes for a few moments, relax and watch your thoughts. Any time that you feel anxious or too overrun with thoughts, or you need clarity of mind, do this meditation for a few moments or as long as you need.

If you don't immediately experience everything that is in these instructions, don't worry. Everyone will have their own unique experience when doing this meditation. Nor is there any right or wrong experience to have. The only thing that matters is to focus on your thoughts, practice consistently and allow time for the fiill benefits to emerge.

OBSERVE

Go Ahead. . .Lift Up The Mask. Peer Into The Dark Corners Of Yourself And Be Surprised.

You Aren't Who You Were Afraid You Might Be.

And You Are Who You Were Afraid You Might Not Be.

CHAPTER FOUR

ememDer

Ttie Third Practice

/I ememher — and the Way will he shown to JL\, you." These words capture the essence of the third practice^ which is so vitally important on the path to enlightenment and self-discovery As we will he using the term here, remembering means connecting with Higher Spirit, which is manifest throughout the universe in every form of life, including our own. Although the Higher Spirit has no form, occupies no particular space, and is heyond any logical conception or explanation, we all carry the knowledge of it within us, and it is this we seek to rememher. This is true even when we have rejected the more traditional

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notions of Go J, or Jont even consider ourselves religious or spiritual, if you think hack in your life, youH prohahly find youve experienced Higher Spirit in peak experiences, in your sexuality^ while running or exercising, or when ^falling in love. " if you re a mother you may have had this experience when birthing your child. Many have experienced this special presence out in nature, perhaps on a deserted heach, a mountain top or in the empty expanse of desert. Even times when we are faced with incredible danger we sometimes experience this Higher Spirit.

Many times when we experience this Higher Spirit it feels like a force that is greater than all the world's madness combined. Though it can feel infinitely larger than you, it also seems familiar and personal. Many people say that when they are not remembering this Spirit, they long for it, as one might long for home.

You can remember this formless Spirit by assigning it a word or image. Instead of Higher Spirit, the word Truth may have more meaning for you, or Love, Ultimate Reality, Inner Self or Higher Self, Soul, God, Yaweh, Jehovah, Guru, Rama or Spirit. Bear in mind, however, that the word or image is just the vehicle to help you remember the experience of the Higher Spirit. The particular word you use to describe the Higher Spirit doesn't matter, only the experience does.

While remembering will lead you to the experience of the Spirit within you, it does much more. Each time you remember and

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reach out for the Spirit, the Spirit reaches for you at the same time. You forge a pathway where you and the Higher Spirit meet in joyous reunion. In this mystical meeting you finally merge with your true inner Beloved. Here you will find your true Self and the inner strength that will support you through all adversity.

This spiritual truth has been expressed throughout time in most spiritual texts and in many diverse traditions. It has been spoken of as the "grace of God," the "divine miracle," a blessing, or the "down-pouring of the Holy Spirit." There is an ancient symbol that is used both in the Jewish and Hindu religions to express this two-way path. In the Jewish tradition it is called the Seal of Solomon, or the Jewish Star. In the Hindu tradition it is the symbol of the heart center. This six-sided star consists of two triangles. One triangle points down, symbolizing Spirit coming to man. The other triangle points up, symbolizing man coming to Spirit. Sometimes a small dot is added in the center called the bindu. This symbolizes the heart center where Spirit and man are one.

It is appropriate that this symbol is for the heart center, for this path joining God and man, Spirit and matter, duality and oneness, is not a path of the intellect, not something you can figure out. It is the

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path of the internal Self, a path of the soul. It is in the heart that this path is formed and the Higher Spirit is known because the essence of the Higher Spirit is love. Remember the Higher Spirit and each time that you do, relax, let your heart be open and build your pathway a little more.

Each time you remember the Higher Spirit, you receive an inner blessing. You'll feel an in-pouring of love, inner peace and comfort. You'll feel refreshed, energized and inspired. Sometimes these "gifts from the Spirit** shake you to your core with their awesome magnificence. Other times they may touch you ever so slightly, barely registering in your consciousness, only delicately whispering their presence in your heart and mind.

Ttie Experience of Rememhering

can rememher Higher Spirit in any situation and under any circumstances. The other day, for example, I was driving the kids to school, feeling like I was frittering away my life in the daily grind of endless errands, the never-ending housework, a constantly ringing telephone, and the mountain of details associated with running a business. I started feeling overwhelmed and upset, feeling that the true purpose of my life was being buried beneath all this "stuflF." Instead of letting myself get depressed, angry or overwhelmed, I started repeating a name for the Higher Spirit that I use.

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Gradually, I felt better. I felt a surge of lightness flow through me, and I could see my life at that point differently than I was viewing it just minutes before. I saw the incredible service that I was performing just in providing a loving home for my kids. I saw the expansive business and home environments that were created just by being conscious. I saw the true ejSfect one conscious life can have just in the course of living day to day. I saw how the love that I gave my children could be passed on for generations, eventually affecting perhaps many hundreds of people. It was as if I was lifted up to see again my true purpose that had temporarily been buried from my sight. I didn't have to be doing "grand" things in my life to be valuable. As I saw this, my heart opened and I experienced a flooding of love and thankfiilness. I began singing. Once again I was given proof of how well it works to just remember the Higher Spirit. It doesn't have to require hours of formal practice or meditation.

Does this mean that each time you remember the Higher Spirit you'll feel ecstatic, or will immediately know the answers to all your problems? No, it doesn't. Each time that you remember, the experience is different. But each time that you remember, the Higher Spirit visits you, whether you: are conscious of it or not. Usually, however, the more that you have experienced the Higher Spirit in your life, the more you will detect its presence as it comes to you. No matter how aware you are of it, it leaves its enduring impression in your consciousness.

When remembering, don't expect anything to happen. That will limit your experience of the Spirit's presence, but that's not really the point. Rather, the purpose is to bring the Higher Spirit

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continually into your consciousness. Finally, remembering also helps you to keep up the other spiritual practices. Just remember, and then do whatever of the other five practices feels appropriate to you at the time. If nothing else, use the remembrance of Spirit as a practice in itself.

Visual Environmental and Musical Reminders

In a busy, mo Jem lifestyle, it is very easy to forget all about Spirit. There seem to be so many immediate things to handle that the entire day can slip by before you even think of anything else but the immediate tasks involved with your kids, your work, your lover or spouse, and your own feelings. Who has time to remember v^dth so many other things that seem so pressing? There is so much to distract you that you simply forget.

In order to remember Spirit during the course of our busy lives, it*s helpfiil to have reminders. The first method for reminding us to remember is to set up visual reminders that give you a sense of the spiritual. Hang pictures of things that inspire you, like a beauti-fiil sunrise, a single rose, or a newborn baby. Or hang pictures of great saints, people who have been teachers to you or pictures of places or activities that recall moments when you felt the touch of Spirit.

My husband and I joke that these reminders seem to continually sprout up all over our home and in our yard. At last count, we

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had fifty-two "reminders!" Everywhere we look we have some type of representation of the Spirit—constantly reminding us to remember. Rather than being obtrusive, however, they're subtle. If a person came into our home who wasn't particularly spiritually oriented, the pictures and statues and other things would seem to be our art collection or a gathering of interesting things from nature.

Pictures aren't the only visual reminders. We also set clear quartz crystals around to remind us of the diamond-like perfection of the True Reality. We use amethyst and rose quartz stones to remind us of healing and love. We set out shells to remind us of the unending coming and going of the ocean waves, of infinity and open space. Finally, we usually wear something special, a piece of jewelry or clothing that reminds us of Spirit. Many people like to wear special jewelry or carry an amulet, stone or other small object in their pocket to feel during the day.

Have your environment be as spiritually elevating as possible. You might want to fill your home with scents that uplift you. If the woods are particularly inspiring for you, have pine scent in the air. If you have worked with Eastern spiritual methods, sandalwood incense may help you remember. If the Native American teachings have meaning for you, burn sage, sweetgrass or cedar. Each scent has its own particular effect on the consciousness. Experiment with different scents and find one that appeals to you.

Bring beauty to your home or work environment, keeping your living and work spaces as clean and uncluttered as possible. (This will help you to be more inwardly calm and peacefiil.) Decorate with flowers or green houseplants. Paint your walls with what are

68 ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN >jjs^

uplifting, heartfiil colors for you and for your family. Open your blinds and let in the sunlight, and if it's warm enough, open your windows and bring in the fresh air. Try turning off the TV and turning on some music. Then let the growing peacefulness and inspiration in your work and home environment help create the peace and inspiration within you that will remind you of the true reality within.

Music can have a particularly inspiring effect on consciousness, so try using it in the background while you work, meditate or simply relax. Everyone has their own taste in music, of course. Ours includes classical music of the baroque era which we find calming as it lightly cavorts through fiigal and contrapuntal melodies. Bach preludes are good examples of this style. Other classical music, such as Pachelbel's Canon in D is increasingly used for restful inspiration. Tbe Four Seasons by Vivaldi is also excellent. Try romantic favorites such as C/air de Lune by Debussy, Liebestraum No. 3 in A flat major by Franz Liszt, Mendelssohn's Song Without Words in E majory Chopin's Etude in E major or Schumann's Traumerei, The music of Mozart is also excellent.

Many people like New Age music, fmding it calming, meditative and inspiring. Try listening to Robert Gass's Om Namaha Sivaya, ShriRam^ or From the Goddess, Brian Eno's musiCy Ambient #1: Music For Airports and The Pearl is extraordinarily peaceful and meditative. The music by Deuter is delightfully inspiring. Recordings of nature sounds that are excellent as ambient background music for work, meditation, and relaxation.

There are also guided meditation recordings that are useful to relax, heal, inspire and open your heart. I have recorded both music

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and guided visualizations with music background designed to open your heart, lift you up into the celestial realms, and gently relax you, creating peace in your soul. Watergarden and my newest recording. Voyager^ are particularly inspiring music recordings, while Relax and Healing are two guided visualization recordings with Love expected to be released in 1994 (ordering information in back of book). Whatever you listen to, just relax and let go—^let yourself be carried by the sounds back to your inner Self

Ceremomes

Ceremonies are another excellent way to rememher the Higher Spirit. These usually have to be arranged or scheduled and so aren't as easily done just in the course of your daily living. They can be very effective, however, to give you some special time apart from your daily routine in order to remember the Higher Spirit. The most obvious ceremony is to go to church or to the temple. Try different types of temples or churches to see if you can find one that you like. If you don't want to participate in a traditionally religious ceremony, you can create your own.

Mini-ceremonies can be done anywhere at anytime. Perhaps you can find a special spot outdoors where you can sit for an hour every Sunday or Saturday morning and contemplate, pray, sing or just sit in silence. If you have a family, you can all sit together. Or choose one time during the week to build a fiire in your fireplace and meditate in front of it.

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Contemplate the wood burning, imagining that as the wood burns away, so do the limitations and barriers that keep you away from your inner truth. Each time that you pass into your house, for example, you can touch the doorstep and say to yourself, "I touch the feet of the Higher Spirit." When you hang up the phone after speaking to someone, you can lay your palm on your heart center in the middle of your chest and say to yourself, "Together we are joined in the love of our inner Spirit."* As you dress yourself, you can say, "I am not my body, but the true reality within."* Once you have created a ceremony, however, do it regularly so that it can become automatic and thus build in its power to remind you of the Spirit.

Repeating a Name For the Higher Spirit

One of the most effective ways to remember the Higher Spirit is to constandy repeat the name that you associate vnth it. In fact, this way is so effective that it has been described as a complete path in itself. This method can also be done anywhere, anyplace, and during any activity. It requires nothing except your intention.

In many traditional Eastern spiritual practices, teachers give their students "mantras," that is, special words, sounds or images to hold in the mind to remind the student to remember. The mantra can alter your consciousness to ultimately lead to the realization of God. This ancient science, called jappa yoga, nad or mantra yoga, is as effective today as it was centuries ago. Western spiritual tradi-

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tions also have their own specially charged words, some of which are given below. The following is a short list of mantras that you may want to try:

1. RAMA- (soundslike rah - mah), or RAM-(sounds like rahm).This is the word associated with the heart center. It is said to bring love and compassion into your life as it opens your heart. Both Ram and Rama are ancient Hindu names for God. In the ancient Hindu scriptures, Rama was a prince who was the perfect embodiment of the golden light of God.

2. OM - (sounds like ohm as in home). This sound is said to be the primal sound of the universe. It is often associated with the third eye center and spiritual wisdom. (Sometimes it is pronounced AUM, with the slight sound of ah preceding the om.)

3. OM RAM - (sounds like ohm - rahm). This combines the qualities of both Ram and Om.

AVE MARIA - (sounds like ah-vay mah-ree-ah). This brings the qualities of compassion and forgiveness and opens the heart center. It also will also help

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you to realize the feminine, mothering nature of the Spirit. Maria refers to Mary, the mother of Jesus.

5. YAWEH - (sounds like yah-way). This is a name for God associated with the ancient Cabalistic or Judaic traditions. It will help to open your heart center of compassion and the mystical understandings of your third eye.

6. WARE GURU - (sounds like wah-hay goo-roo). This is a Sikh word meaning "Hail to the great, glorious inner teacher," or "God is great." The sounds in these words open your heart center and your third eye, and activate your ability to communicate and speak the truth.

8. EK ONG KAR - (sounds like eck - ohng - car). (Eck is pronounced as in the word "neck." Ohng is pronounced with the ng sound in the back of the throat as in the word "lung.") These words mean "there is one God," meaning that there is only one underlying reality from which all life's appearances and manifestations stem. These words lead you to the realization of the reality beyond all form.

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9. OMNAMAHSIVAYA-(soundslikeohm-nahmah-shee-vie (as in pie)-yah).This means "I bow to Shiva." Shiva is an ancient Hindu name of God. This refers to the aspect of God that is golden and firelike as the sun. Shiva is the destroyer aspect of God, or that part of us and all life that dies to be born again.

10. SAT NAM - (sounds like saht-nahm). This is a Sikh mantra that means "Gods name is Truth.** This refers to the formless aspect of God that can be best be experienced within us as that which is the most true or real. This also opens up the heart center of love and compassion and balances the male and female energies in the body.

11. AMEN - (sounds like ah-main). This expresses the than]dulness that is felt when the Higher Spirit is experienced and opens the heart center.

These are just a few words that you may want to try. If you have another word for the Higher Spirit that you are more comfortable with, use that. The most important thing to remember when repeating any name, is that it only represents the Higher Spirit and is not the Higher Spirit itself So there is no need to insist that one word is more correct than another. What is important is what will work for you, and what works for you might not work for the next person.

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When you choose one of these specially-charged words that appeals to you, repeat it silently or out loud. It is important when repeating this word to also listen to it. Relax and let yourself be carried by its sound. Feel its vibrations in your throat, mouth and body. Repeat your mantra or special word for the Higher Spirit throughout the day, no matter what you're doing. Say it silendy, aloud, or even sing it. Repeat it as you're falling asleep at night. Sometimes you'll be able to even say it in your dreams. At first it may be hard to remember to repeat your mantra. You'll forget many times during the day. With time, however, it will become automatic.

When selecting one of these mantras, chose the one that just appeals to you for no special reason and repeat it for thirty days. After thirty days, which is the time it takes for it to start doing its work, you can try another. Eventually you'll find one that seems right for you or has the best appeal.

If none of these specially charged words appeal to you, you might try one of the following sentences as reminders. Repeat it just as you would the others. Though these words are not specially charged like some of the ancient mantras, many people find them invaluable for remembering Spirit.

1. I am Spirit, and Spirit is me.

2. All that I see is Spirit.

3. Dearly Beloved, I'm Yours.

4. I open my heart to Thee.

5. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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6. Love is all there is.

7. You are present in all I see, all I do and all I am.

8. I am love.

Rememhering to Repeat Your Mantra

.Ai first it may seem difficult to remember to repeat your mantra or specially chosen word(s) for the Higher Spirit. If that is the case, here are some things that can help you: First, your own breathing can serve as a reminder. Breathe naturally, and each time that you breathe in, say the entire v^ord that you have chosen, one part of the word, or one syllable. When you breathe out, say the entire word again, the rest of the word or another syllable. If you are saying the word AMEN, for example, say the furst syllable "A" on the in-breath, and the second syllable "MEN** on the out-breath. If you're saying the mantra, OM NAMAH SIVAYA, say the words "OM NAMAH" on the in-breath and the word SIVAYA on the out-breath.

Next, use the never-ending rhythms of life in your workplace, in your home and out in nature to help you remember to repeat your special name for the Higher Spirit. Notice these life rhythms and chant along with them. If you pay attention, aU of your daily life is filled with different rhythms. Silently say your mantra along with

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the ticking of the clock, or in time with the music on your radio. When you're in your car, hear the drone of the car wheels as OM.

Even your own body movements can help you. Say one word or phrase of your specially charged word each time your feet meet the ground when you walk or run. Repeat your mantra along with your own heartbeat.

In my own life, I remember many days at the beach playing frisbee with my children. As I drew back my arm to throw the frisbee, I'd say "RA* to myself, then when I threw it I'd say "MA". When I caught the frisbee I'd repeat RAMA. I tried to focus entirely on the mantra instead of any other thoughts. It made a won-derfiil practice —and we all had fiin!

Ttie Farmer and the Spiritual Man

^ven with the hest of intentions^ you may only remember to repeat your mantra once or twice a day Don't despair, even that is eflfective. There is an old story about this. According to this story, once there was a very spiritual man who lived in retreat and did nothing but meditate, pray and remember to repeat the name of God all day. At the same time, living next door was a farmer who worked from dawn to late at night taking care of his farm and his family. Every once in a while the farmer remembered to say God's name. Sometimes it was two or three times a day, sometimes it was only once a day, or

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once every other day. Both men died and went to heaven. The spiritual man was walking through heaven and happened to see his old neighbor there. The spiritual man became angry at this. "What is this farmer doing here? He was busy in his fields all day, not remembering God, while I was remembering God and repeating his name all day!" The spiritual man was so upset by this that he went to complain to God. After hearing his complaint, God replied: "The farmer has earned his right to be here even more than you. After all, you had lots of time to remember Me. You had nothing else to do but dwell on Me all day and night. This man, however, had many responsibilities and no time at all to remember Me. How much more valuable, then, was each time that he repeated my name than the thousands of times you did!"

This story doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to remember the Higher Spirit. It only means that we should know that each time we do remember, it is important and valuable.

Meditation To Rememher Ttie Higher Spirit

The following meditation can he done whenever you want to remember the Higher Spirit. It can be done for a few moments anywhere or anyplace, or can be done as a daily practice. It is said that this meditation, alone, can carry you to enlightenment. It also will help you open your heart so that you can experience compassion, love and empathy. It will lead you to deep experiences of inner peace and extraordinary calm. It is excellent when experiencing anxiety.

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for it will slow down your racing thoughts and emotions, providing mental and emotional clarity. You will be able to perfecdy concentrate your mind at will.

In this meditation you repeat the name for the Higher Spirit, RAMA. Rama, in the ancient vedic scripture called the "Ramayana,** was the princely ruler of the ancient, golden city of Ayodya. There are many stories of Rama's exploits, all revealing his unwavering love for the Higher Spirit, his honesty, his courage, and his sense of service and duty. Rama is the epitome of one who is enlightened. Spirit and man perfecdy merged in loving service of both heaven and earth. Truth forms the core of his courage, and the golden light of divine awareness illuminates his heart, radiating gloriously for all to see.

RAMA also has another meaning. RA represents the warming heat and raw energy of the golden sun. MA represents the cool, peaceful Ught of the silver moon. RA is male, yang energy, charging forward, rocket-like, bright and bold. MA is female, yin energy, enveloping, cool and subde. When you repeat RAMA, you balance the male/female energies in your body. You balance the logical/intuitive mind. You balance all of yourself so that you rest in the peace of perfect equilibrium. When you are thus balanced, you make room for Higher Spirit to enter you and speak to your soul. It is only when your body, mind and heart are at rest that you can begin to walk in joyfiil j&eedom from all fear, doubt and limitation.

While this meditation is obviously not intended to be done "on the run,** it is important because it prepares you for the shorter exercises designed to be done while you are involved in other activities.

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The longer, more intense practices train your mind so that even in the midst of major distractions, such as a noisy work place, you can easily do your shorter practices and receive the peace of mind they provide. After doing this meditation, the RAMA mantra will be so much a part of you that it will be easy to repeat it silently during your day.

The Meditation

1. Sit upright, with your spine straight, both feet on the ground, your hands resting in your lap with your palms facing up. Touch the tips of your thumbs to the tips of your first (index) fingers. (This hand position, called gyan mudruy is said to bring wisdom.) If you like, you can sit in the lotus or half-lotus yoga position. Even though you are sitting upright, you should be relaxed. If you cannot sit upright in a relaxed manner, sit with your back supported by an upright chair.

2. Hold your head straight, facing forward, with your chin dropped down slightly (about an inch). When your chin is dropped the right amount you will feel the back of your neck stretching slightly upward as if elongating. This will help open your throat center, the center of communication.

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3. Close your eyes, bringing your focus to your heart center in the middle of your chest.

4. As you focus on your heart center, become aware of your breathing (breathe normally).

5. Now, as you breathe in, mentally repeat the sound RA. Feel as if the breath and the sound RA enters and fills your heart center.

6. When you breathe out, mentally repeat the sound MA. Feel as if the breath and the sound MA leave from your heart center.

7. Maintain your focus on the sounds RAMA entering and leaving your heart center. If your attention wanders, just bring it back to your heart center and continue to repeat RAMA.

8. If you feel any tension, let yourself imagine it leaving you as you breathe out. Relax with every out-breath. As you do this, however, don't drop your attention from your repetition of RAMA.

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9. You may experience many different emotions, thoughts and other sensations during the course of this meditation. No matter what they are, or how terrible or wonderful they seem, don't let them distract you. If you find that you are paying attention to these sensations, drop your attention, and bring it back to your heart center with the repetition of RAMA.

10. If it seems difficult at first to focus your mind continually on RAMA as it enters and leaves your heart center, remind yourself that this is a natural part of the meditation process. The more you meditate the easier it will get.

11. Do this meditation for three minutes at first. When you feel ready, increase your time to seven minutes, then eleven minutes. You can do this for thirty minutes, then an hour. There is no harm in doing this meditation for even lengthier periods of time.

13. Eventually, RAMA will seem to repeat itself through you. RAMA will become as natural to you as your own breathing. It is even said that if you repeat RAMA as you are dying, it will carry you past all fear, into the golden light of the Higher Spirit.

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AWAKENING-

Ah; sweet Truth, fierce demanding One, unspoken longings trapped in my heart call for you.

A living flame of remembrance pleads for awakening.

Beloved, set my soul fiee!

With your Name upon my lips,

I open my heart

and heg you to consume me

upon your golden pyre of love. I sacrifice myself to your mercy,

for I cry for release.

Your Name in my soul, I leap, diving headlong, falling into your ahyss of not-knowing, as you circle me in your fiery embrace.

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/ surrender to your huming. And even as I writhe in unhearahle anguish^ I pray from the depth of my longing, hum me...consume me, to the core of my reality

Serpent-like your heat

rages up my spine,

and explodes my mind

into glorious shards

of living brightness. My darkness is shattered to light.

Wildly, gleefully I dance

in your merciful and healing flames, spinning my pain to pleasure.

For I have died only to he horn. I rise transmuted, phoenix-like, from the ashes of my self-imposed bondage.

With my body now radiant sunlight

and my eyes glowing embers,

with starlight my crown

and lightning my scepter, I ride the wings of my victorious heart,

and sing aloud your sweet song of

freedom.

CHAPTER FIVE

Ttie Fourth Practice

/ et the truth that is within you, in every I J other being, and in J of life, guide your way — and the way will he constantly revealed to you. This is the essence of the fourth practice. Be who you really are, live in a state of constant Truth and you will find your answers within. When you have decided to lead this kind of life, living moment-to-moment in the present, observing what is truly so, apart from any reliance on what should he, could he or is supposed to he, it is as if your internal slate is wiped clean, waiting to he written anew — every moment created with truths "pen." The Zen Buddhists refer to this as

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the "heginners mind. " Have a heginners mind that is as clear and present-centered as a young childs, and then follow Truths directions as im-peccahly as you are ahle. Become a warrior for the truth, letting nothing stand in your way — not other people, and not even your own egotistic desires and preferences. This is the way to wisdom.

Truth \^rsus Relative Reality

ideas that people have about reality seem to he relative to their own culture, beliefs and past experiences. Everyone sees and hears differently—even when looking at the same event. There is an old story that speaks of this phenomena and teaches us to question what we mean when we speak of Truth: Three blind men were trying to describe an elephant. One blind man felt the elephant's leg and said, "Oh, the elephant is as big around as my waist, is taller than my head, and has a flat bottom to it." The other blind man felt the trunk of the elephant and said "No, an elephant is long and thin, with a hole at the end that seems to be its mouth." The third blind man felt the elephant's ear and said, "No, you are both mistaken. The elephant actually is flat and thin, with littie hairs over it, and it makes a flapping motion." All of the men were relatively right, but

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no one truly discovered what the entire elephant actually looked like. Life is like that. What is true for one person may not be true for another.

The truth we seek on a spiritual path is different than relative truth. It cannot be found through our five senses, our beliefs or any of our commonly held "understandings" about life. The truth we explored here refers to that indescribable something that can be known but not explained—that ultimate reality that has been described as the Higher Spirit. This truth isn't confmed to the boundaries of our bodies, even though we can experience it inside us. It has no beginning or ending, nor does it have anything to do with being right or wrong.

Truth is not an idea. It doesn't change as opinions and viewpoints change. It doesn't change as we get older. You or I may change but this Truth never changes. When you discover Truth, it's as if you've found an old firiend again. You have a sense of rediscovering what you had temporarily forgotten. Even if its voice within you guides you in changing directions, it is ultimately guiding you in the direction of its own realization. It's not found in books, instructions or rules, but can always be found within you if you know how to look. This is what will provide you unfailing guidance if you heed its voice.

This is not to say that this is the only truth you should pay attention to in your life. Relative truth is valid and usefiil in its own way. What each blind man discovered about the elephant, for example, was not false. But each man had only a portion of the truth. In fact, following the road of relative truth can lead you to the deeper

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Reality. As you become more present-centered, you will find that your relative truth slowly yields to a larger truth. Be fluid, yet strong. Be like the trees. The ones that continue to live and flourish are those that are best able to bend with the wind. Continually yield to the Truth. The path that unfolds to us in this way is not about being "right;" rather it's about discerning and following truth as you experience it for yourself—moment by moment.

Learning to bend like a tree doesn't mean abandoning your own integrity. On the contrary, it means being guided by the inner guiding voice of Truth and becoming increasingly true to your own sense of personal integrity. It is only when you can yield, when you don't feel compelled to "prove" your own point of view, that you can fiilly embrace your own sense of personal integrity. When you let go of the need to be right, it becomes much easier to accept other truths as they are revealed to you. When you cling to your relative truth, you're forced to pretend you believe something that deep down inside, you know isn't true.

To follow the path of Truth, then, is to learn how to be guided by your own inner integrity—no matter what. This is so in the simple matters of life as well as the more important things. Go ahead, for example, and pick up that piece of paper that you dropped on the ground. Don't tell a lie just to make things easier for yourself. Don't do or say anything that feels wrong to you—even if you have to make sacrifices. Don't betray yourself That is what it means to follow Truth.

To follow this path is to start relying more on yourself for answers. It means depending less on outer direction, whether it be your

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parents, your school, your spiritual teacher, your best friend or the society in which you live. Let go and trust the truth you sense inside of you. This doesn't mean that you must reject old teachings. Nor does it mean you won't have any more teachers or that you shouldn't listen to anyone. Instead, honor them for what they have taught you. No matter who or what the teaching, you must ultimately rely on your inner sense of Truth to guide you. When you do this, everything in life becomes a teacher.

what It^s Like To Live In Truth

en you live in a state of Truths it becomes both your guide and your constant reassurance. When you're present-centered, observing Truth clearly, you don't feel confused. Not only does your deep-rooted fear and sadness disappear, but also any sense of chaos. This isn't because your life is any dijBferent (although it may be), but because you understand life in a new way, one that is different than intellectual understanding. When you understand in this way, you feel protected, cared for and relaxed. You feel satisfied and free.

When you live in a state of truth, you live in harmony. You feel a deep sense of peaceful union, with other beings and with everything else. Even the terrible things in life are in harmony when you see the "larger picture.''When you have this sense of being in union, you are able to see that all of life is in harmony with each and every part of itself. Parts may be pleasant to you, and parts might not—^but

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it's Still okay. To live in harmony with life means to stop fighting it, to let go and just let life happen.

This doesn't mean that you turn a blind eye to what is happening, justifying it by saying that it will aU be okay. You still try to live your life skillflilly, making every effort to live as well as you can. For example, if you're running a business, you still keep your eye on everything and try to make the correct decisions, because good intentions alone aren't going to balance the budget. Fyou're raising kids, you love them and try to take care of them as consciously as you can.

Just because you accept life and live in harmony with it, you don't have to become passive. (This is a mistake many people make.) You can still have preferences and maintain your personal boundaries. For example, if you're living in an abusive relationship, you can still leave. You don't have to just accept it in order to be spiritual. Going with the flow of life in this case may include creating a better life for yourself

A few years ago I learned this lesson from one of my teachers. I had a dream in which two people were holding my arms and a third was digging his fist deeply into my solar plexus. It hurt tremendously, but in the dream I learned how to endure the pain and still maintain my inner peace. When I relayed this dream to my teacher and told him how I had learned to endure the pain, he looked at me and replied, "Why do that?" At that moment I realized that I could make life changes and still remain in a state of acceptance. Change, too, is a part of life. Sometimes fighting change is fighting life.

When you start "going with the flow," life stops fighting you. The environment and your life circumstances support you in ways

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that contribute to your growth and well-being. This may manifest in simple ways. For example, when you go places in your car, you always find a parking spot. When you're thinking about someone, they'll call. When you need something, it's there. It may manifest in more complex ways also. If I'm looking for a good dayschool for my child, for example, I'll just happen to run into the friend of someone who knows the perfect school. When I'm trying to decide whether to call this school the next day, I just happen to see a poster about it in the public library. Then I'll call. (Jung calls this synchronicity.) Or, if I get a flat tire while driving, it happens right in front of a gas station. Your whole life starts to flow along much less effortlessly— even when it's difficult. This is what it feels like to live in harmony.

A Personal Example

A few years ago I went through a period when everything that could possibly go wrong did—all at once. Just about everything that could fall apart did. I was diagnosed vdth pre-cervical cancer and came dovm with pneumonia at the same time that my marriage fell apart. As I began going through separation and divorce proceedings, I discovered that I was pregnant. At the same time, my business almost went bankrupt (losing about $20,000 a month), and I had to fire and replace almost my entire management. While I was handling this, I came dovm with pneumonia again, took care of my four-year old's emotional problems with the divorce, and constantly dealt with my angry and threatening ex-husband, who I feared was trying to take my children away me. As if this weren't enough, when

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I gave birth to my baby that same year, there were complications and I almost bled to death. Recovery from that was difficult.

During this time I began living in a completely new home in a new environment and started a new relationship. Does this sound like enough? It did to me too! However, I was not to be let ofif that easily. The new man in my life had a business that was also in trouble. We both ran out of money—completely. At the same time, he was renting to a tenant who had a nervous breakdown, bought shotguns, and was calling us a couple times a week threatening to kill our family. This all happened in the space of a year and a half It got to be so much to handle that it almost became laughable. All I could do was trust what I had learned—^when you follow the guiding hand of Truth, everything is as it should be, and vdll turn out well for everyone involved.

Using the techniques in this book, I felt inwardly peacefiil, secure and deeply satisfied. I continually listened to the inner voice of Truth and found my way through all these difficulties. I could see the path that I was to take very clearly, and I did what needed to be done. At times I felt angry. At other times I cried. But I didn't lose myself, or drovm in my troubles. Even though it wasn't easy, deep down inside I knew that this was all just passing, that everything was okay. With that attitude, it felt as if this was a time of problem-solving rather than a time of crisis. Because I was able to trust the deep inner Truth inside, and know that everything had a reason, and remember that none of this reflected who I really was inside, I was able to remain inwardly joyful. Even then I had a sense that my life had a certain harmony to it.

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Just as promised in every spiritual teaching, following the voice of inner Truth works. Everyone was eventually happier and better oflf. My ex-husband is no longer angry, and is very happily married to a woman that is much better for him. I'm happily re-married and my children are both well-adjusted and happy. The renter who had the mental breakdown finally moved back to his mother's home and recovered. I was able to heal myself completely, and both our businesses are doing better than ever. For me, this was the final proof that these techniques that I had been practicing and teaching for years really work in the everyday world, and not only in the protective environment of the ashram or monastery where I had spent so many years earlier.

How to Start Living A Life of Truth

To start living a life in alignment with Truth, you need to recover your inner Self. To do this, you need to take responsibility for yourself and your life choices. Instead of believing that you're helpless, instead of only reacting as things happen to you, you can get back in the "driver's seat" of your life.

You can get back into the "driver's seat" by paying attention to how you have defined what's "normal" in your life. Ask yourself who you consider to be normal. Who are your authorities? Who gives them that power in your life? Contemplate that question honesdy and you will find that you've always decided who or what you

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wanted to believe or follow. You made others into authority figures. This is true of us all, even when we're openly rebelling against those figures.

This is not to say that you did the wrong thing. Many times, the best thing to do it to follow something or someone. You may have had good reasons, given who you were and what stage of your development you were in. Many times it's just easier to do what everyone else is doing. Other times, you do need to learn firom others by obeying them or following in their footsteps. A three-year-old child needs to learn from her parents, for example. You do need a teacher to show you a spiritual pathway if you're looking for one. But finally there comes a time to listen to the teacher vydthin your ovm soul. This is the teacher that all your others have been trying to show you (if they were good teachers). No person can make you listen, however. You are the one responsible for that choice. You are the one who decides how you want to live your life. Getting back "in the driver's seat" and accepting that responsibility will lead you toward Self-recovery.

How to Hear the Inner Truth

The voice of Truth is like a sound without a sound and there is an art to hearing it. This voice of Truth is an inner knowing or an inner sense that will tell you about the reality of your experience, whether

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it be about yourself, other people or events in the world. You have undoubtedly heard this voice many times but didn't recognize it. For example, we often "know" when a person is lying to us even when by all outward appearances they seem to be telling the truth. And how many times have you known when a person close to you was feeling sad or angry when they insisted they were okay? Think of that "little voice" inside that gave you this information. This is the voice that you listen to. It's the voice that never makes you feel guilt or shame, only peace or love. The Quakers refer to it as the "still, quiet voice within." Some call it intuition. Some call it the guiding Spirit within.

This inner voice is an experience of knowing that can't be identified with our logical mind or our five physical senses. It seems to come from the vicinity of your heart center, in the middle of your chest, yet the more you investigate it, the more you realize that it is much larger than the boundaries of your body. It occupies no particular space and has no particular form. When you hear this inner voice it comes from within you rather than being a voice that comes from without. It is a soundless yet clear voice. It is more like an inner sense. When you hear it, it is almost as if you already know whatever it is spealdng of, as if you had forgotten and now remember. There is a sense of "Oh, yes, I already know that." There is a sense of calm certainty. Yet it is not rigid as a belief often is, and it differs from thought and imagination.

Because it doesn't always seem logical or to follow cause and effect sequences, it is easy to reject this inner voice, assuming it to be invalid. However, the more seriously you take this voice, the

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"louder** it will speak to you. It's much like a muscle: The more you use it, the stronger it gets. When you listen to your inner voice, and follow what it tells you, you'll find the information it gives you is correct. Often you'll find that this still, quiet voice within gives you more dependable information than you can get firom more logical methods of knowing. Of course, the degree of truth that this inner voice provides is determined by your ability to hear correctly.

To hear correctly, you need to be present-centered. Then you need to listen without any prejudgments. If you can observe, you can listen in this way. When you listen, have an attitude of wanting to be guided by the Higher Spirit, rather than your own egotistic desires. Have an attitude of trust.

Meditation to Develop Intuition and Hear the Inner Voice

you learn to he real to ohserve, to rememher and be present-centered, you will automatically begin to hear the inner voice. However, if you want to speed up the process, you can do the following meditation. This meditation specifically opens up what is called your "third eye," an etheric energy center located in the middle of your forehead between your two eyebrows. This center is traditionally associated with intuition, psychic abilities, creativity, and self-awareness. (This awareness of your inner voice will increase even

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further if you do the yoga or meditations to open your heart center given to you in Chapter 7 on meditation.) This is given as a formal sitting meditation, however it can be done anywhere for any length of time, whenever you feel the need to expand your viewpoint, access creative energy, calm yourself, or hear your inner voice more clearly.

The Meditation

1. Sit in a comfortable position with your spine straight. If you like, you can lie on your back on the floor or another surface. Rest your hands on your lap or on the surface next to you.

2. Close your eyes and focus on the very center of your forehead.

3. Breathe normally through your nose and feel as if your breath passes in and out of the center of your forehead.

4. With each in-breath, imagine that the color royal blue passes in to fill your forehead. In your mind's eye, see only the color royal blue. If you have seeing the royal blue, silently say to yourself, "Royal blue fills my forehead."

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5. With each out-breath, release any tension.

6. Next, with each in-breath, silently say the sound "OH.'' With each out-breath, silently say the sound "M-M-M." Let the sound "OH" flow into the sound "M-M-M" without any break.

7. If your mind wanders, just bring it back to focus on your breath, the color royal blue and the sound "OM" in and out of the center of your forehead.

8. You may begin to feel as if you are floating, or see colors or visions other than the color royal blue. If this happens, bring your attention back to the center of your forehead, your breathing, blue color and sound "OM."

9. Your breathing may automatically change in some way, either becoming very shallow or very deep. Don't try to change or alter your breathing yourself Let your breath change by itself and continue your focus.

LET TRUTH GUIDE YOUR WAY 99 '

10. Do this for three minutes, eleven minutes, or thirty-one minutes at least once a day or evening. You may do this exercise as long as you like.

11. When you are through, take a deep breath through your nose, release it slowly and then open your eyes. Stretch your body before getting up.

12. Besides increasing your ability to hear intuitively, this exercise also will increase your ability to concentrate, calm your mind and emotions, and stimulate your creativity. It will help you feel whole instead of scattered and will help you feel peacefiil, even when your life is stressfiil.

Balancing the Logical MinJ With the Inner Voice

In our daily lives we need to listen and act with the kelp of both our inner knowing and our logical mind. There is an art to balancing both realities so that they become mutually supportive. If you're driving down a road and see a ball rolling into the street in front of you, you can logically figure that someone might come running after the ball. You can also listen to your inner voice and know, without

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figuring it out, that someone is about to enter the street in firont of you. By listening to both, you can avoid hitting the child who runs out after the ball.

On the other hand, if your inner voice of Truth is telling you something diJBferent than your logical mind, it is a good idea to pay attention to it. Your inner voice is always correct—as long as you can hear it correctly. For example, if your inner voice tells you that the words someone is saying are not the truth, listen to your inner voice. Chances are that it is detecting something beyond mere speech. This art of balancing the logical and intuitive develops over time and requires patience, truthfulness, courage and humility. Listen and act; if you're wrong, be willing to admit it and try again. If you're right, let this help you learn more. Either way, let both experiences continually refine your ability to hear your inner voice.

It is sometimes difficult to distinguish fancifiil thinking from the true inner voice. But here are some guidelines that can help you: Fantasy carries with it an element of hope or wishful thinking; it seems to spring from the mind outward. Intuition (the inner voice) carries with it an element of quiet excitement and peace, and it seems to spring from a source beyond your mind. If you feel even the tiniest sense of disquiet, unease or dishonesty within you, chances are that you are creating your own wishful thinking, obscuring the truth of your inner voice. If you're not sure that what you're hearing is your inner voice, you're probably not hearing it.

When you hear your inner voice, there is a sense of already knowing what you're hearing. Furthermore, you feel good inside; it's as if you're in communication with yourself. (Even if it's only for a

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lOI

moment.) One of the best ways to become familiar with your intuitive mind is to continually test it. Honestly notice if the choices that you made while listening to your inner voice were the right ones in the "real, everyday" world. For instance, if you "heard" that you should buy a certain stock and that stock crashed as soon as you bought it, you should assume that you weren't "hearing" correctly. (I don't recommend using your "inner voice" to play the stock market however. Besides being ethically questionable, it makes more sense to more carefiilly investigate the companies in which you want to invest!) In other words, continually balance the information you get from your inner voice with "earthplane" reality.

Visualization to Gain Insight; Solve ProhlemS; and Develop Effective Courses of Action

The following visualization can help you develop insight, solve problems, and discover a balanced and effective course of action based on both your logical mind and your inner voice. Besides being useful for decreasing the stress level that often accompanies major decisions in your life, it will help you discover the nature of Truth or the guiding Spirit within you.

This visualization should be done only at a time and place where you will not be interrupted until you're done. This could be as litde time as ten minutes, or for as long as you like.

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The Visualization

1. Sit with your spine straight and your hands resting, palms down, on the top of your legs. Your feet should be flat on the floor and your legs together. Hold your head straight, with your chin lowered slightly (one inch).

2. Close your eyes.

3. Focus your attention on your heart center, that place in the middle of your chest.

4. Take a long, slow breath through your nose and imagine that it fills your heart center. Now slowly release your breath through your nose, imagining that it leaves through the center of your chest. On the out-breath, release all physical, mental and emotional tension.

5. Do this until you are calm, clear and peaceful—as if you are a still pond of water.

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6. Next, imagine that a calm violet light streams into the middle of your chest with every in-breath. Imagine that it slowly fills your body. As you continue to breathe, the violet Ught completely fills your body and then streams outward through the skin of your body to surround you in a glowing orb of light. (If you're having trouble imagining this, silently say to yourself, "I am completely filled with violet light which sur rounds my body in a glowing orb.")

7. With every out-breath, extend the orb or egg of purple light outward as far as you can see.

8. Next, focus your attention on the question, problem or action that you wish to view in its essence and discover the truth about.

9. State it to yourself as clearly and exactly as you can.

10. What are your thoughts about it? Let each thought come up, observe it, then let it go. Do this until you have no more thoughts about it.

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11. Now, view the matter in question and see what you are feeling about it. What are your feelings? Let each feeling arise inside of you; experience it, then, let it go.

12. What happens in your body as you experience your thoughts and feelings? Observe your body and relax.

13. What do you believe about the question, problem or action on which you focus? Observe these beliefs. Can you imagine them not to be true? Can you imagine any conflicting beliefs? After you have observed each belief, let it go from your mind.

14. Focus your attention on your breath again. Take long, slow breaths in and out of the center of your chest as you did earlier. As you do this, release all physical, mental and emotional tension. Continue until you are calm, clear and peaceful as a still pond of water.

15. Move your attention to your intuitive voice, or the voice that is different from what you're thinking, believing or feeling. What does this voice say to you? Relax and listen, continually letting go of all other thoughts and emotions.

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16. Hear, without having to use words.

17. Continue this process until you feel a sense of completion, fulfillment and peace inside.

18. What actions can you take that will be in alignment with this inner sense of fulfillment?

19. What new viewpoints or ideas can you have that are in alignment with this inner sense?

20. Verbalize to yourself the thoughts, feelings, ideas or realizations that you have that are in alignment with this sense of inner fulfillment.

21. Next, focus your attention back to your heart center in the middle of your chest. Breathe as if your breath travels in and out of your heart center. Do this three times.

22. Now, shift your attention back to the violet field of light which surrounds you.

I06 ENLIGHTENMENT ON THE RUN y4=^

23. Inhale through your nose three times, and imagine that the violet light pulls more into your body each time that you inhale. On the third breath, the violet light is entirely w^ithin you.

24. Now, breathe in and out three more times and on each in-breath, the violet light travels inward to fill your heart. On your third in-breath, your heart is entirely filled with violet light.

25. Shift your attention firom your heart center to your breath. Take a deep breath in through your nose and forcibly exhale through your mouth, blowing outward. Do this three times, blowing more forcibly from your mouth each time that you blow outward.

26. Focus your attention on the chair beneath you and visualize the room or environment in which you sit. When you feel like it, open your eyes and stretch your body.

27. If you like, record what it is that you have learned, decided or realized, so that you can remember.

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Your Commitment to Truth Must Be Total

^^ur commitment to Truth must he total. Although there are some general guidelines (see Chapter 9), there are no absolute rules by which you must act. Just look deeply within to discover what your own inner voice is telling you. Uncover the inner lies that nag at you. Notice those areas in your life in which you're uncomfortable, uneasy, or in a tug-of-war with your inner Self Notice the areas of your life where you have to admit to yourself that your actions are wrong or not completely honest. Notice when you seem to be defensive. Don't worry about having to be right, or not being wrong. Instead, have the courage to see yourself as honesdy as you can.

As you do this, you may feel pain, stress, guilt or insecurity before you begin to experience a lightening up. In the short-term you may not like what you're feeling but keep with it and don't worry. In the long-run, as you sort out lies and half truths from Truth, your path in life will become increasingly easy. In time Truth becomes a constant guide, mapping you through the maze of your mind, emotions and all your real-life problems.

Meditation: Who Am I?

This ancient meditation is one of the hest that you can do. By continually contemplating the possible answers to the question, "Who am I?,** you'll peel away every limiting concept about yourself to reveal who you really are. With this meditation you travel past the

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limitations of your mind to discover your true self. You discover the part you carry with you when you die, the ultimate reality that is the same as Love, Truth and Higher Spirit.

The directions for this meditation are very simple, but don't let this apparent simplicity lead you to believe that it's always easy to do. Sometimes it may seem easy (especially at first), and at other times it may be difficult. You may find that your mind rebels, unable to concentrate, defending itself at every turn as you chip away at its defenses and illusions. As you keep doing this meditation, its effects are subtle, far-reaching and powerfiil, both within your life and within yourself

1. Sit or lie down with your spine straight, your legs uncrossed, your hands by your sides or on top of your lap with their palms up. Close your eyes.

2. Breathe long, deep breaths in and out of your nose, concentrating on the breath entering and leaving through your nostrils. As you do this, relax and bring your attention entirely to the present.

When you feel relaxed and "here," ask and answer this question: "WHO AM I?'*

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4. Meditate on your answer. Can you imagine yourself still existing if you were not that which you answered yourself to be? If so, you have not yet found your answer. Ask the question again and meditate on the answer.

5. Continue to ask yourself "WHO AM I?'' until you have exhausted every form of self-concept. Ask that question until you've exhausted every description or feeling you have of yourself Ask yourself that question, rejecting everything that you are not.

6. You can do this meditation for any time length that you like, doing it for a certain period of time every day, or "on the run.'' (If you're somewhere you'll attract unwanted attention by closing your eyes, like at your ofi&ce desk, you can do it with your eyes open.)

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Truth is

Truth has no limits,

no endings or beginnings. It is the heart of the universe,

and also the glorious center

of your own radiant soul.

As water, river and ocean

are of the same essence,

so are Truth, love and Self It is who you are,

an eternal heing in the endless

present.

Though as formless as wind, as spacious as light, and as indescribable as love, be not fooled.

Truth is of unsurpassed reality.

Truth is quiet and empty,

yet the more you silently listen, the more loudly it^s cries resound within the cave of your deepest heart.

Surrender yourself to its life-giving voice.

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III

It enJIessly reveals itself

as a constant experience of instantaneous an J direct knowing.

Dive deeply into it^s infinite center and find what you have always known.

Truth is the path,

and the compassionate teacher

who dwells in your heart. Heed the heart-voice of Truth

and he opened to the eyes of your

soul.

Let not the phantoms

of thought, time and form

hold your life in their finite hands.

Dear friend, follow Truths path

to the source of your own eternity

CHAPTER SIX

Ttie Fifth Practice

/t's impossible to follow this path to the Higher Spirit without learning to surrender. To surrender is to let go of each passing moment, to let it pass, so you can he completely here. It means letting go of all your prejudgments and preconceptions, to find the wisdom of now It means relinquishing your illusions and mistaken beliefs so that you can begin to experience life as it really is. Only by surrendering can you experience the contentment that results when you accept everything that life brings to you. Only until you let go of what you think your life should be, can you find enjoyment in what it actually is.

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Surrender the need to "he somehody " and let yourself he "nohody special. " Begin to accept yourself as you are, with all your faults and shortcomings, and surrender any false pretenses. Stop trying to he right all the time, and have it heokay to he wrong. When you let down your guard, you II find yourself becoming much more relaxed. You begin to experience life fully only when you learn to release fear, pride, anger, greed, envy, guilt and shame as they come up for you. when you open your heart to vulnerability, and let go of mistrust, you open yourself to love.

Be wiUing to accept anything that comes to you, whether it's a new understanding or a new life circumstance. With that kind of willingness, you may be surprised at the gifts that you receive—^including the gift of lasting inner contentment.

It's Not Always Easy to Surrender

It is not always easy to surrender. It can be particularly difficult to do so when you cannot see anything to replace what youVe being asked to give up or surrender. You may feel foolish. You may feel frightened or defensive. It's okay to have these feelings. Just notice that they're there and have a little willingness to let go of the

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attention you're giving them. It can be helpM to say to yourself, "I surrender,"* and then be willing to be led by the guiding voice of Truth. Don't be disappointed w^hen you find that you have to surrender the same thing over and over again. Rarely do you just surrender once and then it's done.

A True Life Example of Practical Benefits

li^s easy to see how surrendering and accepting can help you emotionally and spiritually. It can also help you in practical ways in the day-to-day events of your life. For example, the ability to surrender my preconceptions and images of myself and accept the truth helped me immensely not so long ago. A few years back, I had just invested everything I had to buy the jewelry business firom my ex-husband. Soon after that, my accountant told me that I was losing a tremendous amount of money each month in my crystal jewelry business, and that if I continued on this route, I was going to go bankrupt. As if to reconfirm what I was told, the various banks, creditors and other financial institutions to which I owed money, started calling me. Of course, they were all asking for more money than I had... and they wanted it immediately.

Up to this point, I had left my crystal jewelry business in the hands of various managers, assuming that all I had to do was to continue designing the jewelry, which gave me time to write the crystal book, do the various music and guided meditation cassettes and do