41 COMMUNITY-MINDED

How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.

—Portia, in William Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice

UP TO THIS POINT, THE majority of dates outlined in this book have been introspective, focused on fostering intimacy between you and your spouse, to help you “turn toward” each other (see chapter 2). That will always be an important part of your marriage. However, all of us, whether married or single, can sometimes carry this concept too far. We can become so focused on bettering ourselves, our marriages, and our children that we become self-absorbed. We get so busy navel-gazing that we fail to see the world around us.

That’s why it’s important for couples—especially Christian couples—to look for opportunities to serve others together. There’s something beautiful about husbands and wives working together to invest time and energy in loving and serving others. Some have described this as a “missional marriage.”

The blessings of reaching out to others as a husband-wife team are numerous. Susan Mathis wrote,

Participating together in ministry opportunities can also help you to grow in your faith as a couple. Working side-by-side to fulfill the Great Commission—in whatever capacity—deepens your spiritual intimacy like little else can. . . Whenever you serve others, you become the hands and feet of your Savior.[27]

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves! For this date, you’re going to experience the joy and satisfaction of reaching out to someone in your neighborhood, church, or community.

ACTIVITY: Do a good deed for someone else! Look for opportunities to serve in your community. Here are a few ideas:

• Volunteer at a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
• Host a coat drive or clothing drive at your church.
• Help rake leaves, shovel snow, or otherwise beautify a neighbor’s yard.
• Volunteer at your local library to help underprivileged kids learn to read or to help non-English speakers learn English.

Need more ideas? Here are some additional activities—some can be incorporated into a date night, and some involve a longer-term commitment—by Samantha Krieger at StartMarriageRight.com:

1. Engage your server. When you’re out on a dinner date, let your server be a part of your relationship. Get to know him or her by asking questions. Find out if your server has any needs, and if you feel led, pray for him or her and share the gospel. Don’t forget to leave a good tip!
2. Prepare and deliver a meal. Be watchful of who might be going through a crisis or simply struggling. Double up on a recipe one evening and give the other half away. Rally up your friends to contribute by creating a Care Calendar for the person/family in need.
3. Consider becoming a foster couple or adopting. Invest in the life of a child who desperately needs a loving home.
4. Carry extra change. When you’re going shopping, keep extra change in your pockets with the intention of giving it away. Chances are you will run into a homeless person who can use it more than you.
5. Start a playgroup. Our community group started a playgroup that consisted of all the moms. We would meet randomly at local places like Chick-fil-A, the park, or the mall. We would get together and meet every other week at a different house. It was a great way to reach out and encourage fellow moms.
6. Create an interest group or club. What are you passionate about? Photography, running, football, quilting, going green? Invite a few people who love what you do, and do that thing together! You’ll have a blast doing what you love and reaching out.[28]

QUESTIONS: After your service activity, go someplace quiet to unwind and discuss the following Questions: How do you feel about the service project we just completed together? Was your own family involved in community service? If so, was it considered an obligation or a privilege? How can we make acts of love and service a regular part of our marriage and family life rather than just isolated, one-time events?