45 WITH THANKSGIVING

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

—Albert Schweitzer

AT THANKSGIVING WE SET ASIDE time to reflect on the blessings God has given us—our families, our friends, our health, our jobs, our freedom. These are all tremendous gifts. But during significant events like the Thanksgiving holiday, we tend to look at the big picture—attempting to acknowledge all of the many blessings God has given us rather than narrowing in on specifics.

This is especially true when it comes to our spouses. It’s one thing to say, “Thank You, God, for my wonderful wife,” while everyone is sitting around the dinner table. That’s a nice gesture, but let’s be honest; it’s not very specific, and besides, it’s what everyone expects you to say. So it’s important that you also take time alone with your spouse to tell him or her directly why you’re thankful. This should involve not only thanking God but also thanking your partner—directly and specifically—for the things he or she does that bless and enrich your life. Throughout the year, we should make a concerted effort to express gratitude for our spouses and to our spouses!

ACTIVITY: With Thanksgiving drawing near—and the frantic preparations it likely entails for you—use this opportunity to go someplace quiet and relaxing for dinner. Find a restaurant that doesn’t have anything on the menu resembling turkey and dressing!

QUESTIONS: Either over dinner or in a quiet location afterward, take turns sharing specific reasons why you’re thankful for your mate. Make a list if you feel it would be helpful. Here are some ways you might complete the sentence “I’m thankful for you because . . .”

I have someone to laugh with.

I have someone to hold me when life gets hard.

I have someone to come home to.

I have someone to challenge me.

I have someone to cuddle with!

Once you’ve made a list of general qualities, dig deeper. Talk about a specific time recently when your spouse made you laugh or otherwise cheered you up. If you’re thankful for your spouse’s parenting skills, cite a specific example of those skills in action. This process has the potential to be a time of great connection, reminiscing, and intimacy.