CHAPTER 14

“Why do you trust Aeron when you shouldn’t?”

Nick closed his grimoire as Livia came up to him. They were taking a short break to rest and eat before they renewed their journey into the deepest and most dangerous part of the forest. “Why shouldn’t I?”

She scowled at him in disbelief. “You don’t know him. At all.”

“I know him as well as I know you.”

Livia snorted disrespectfully. “I’m your Šarru-Ninim.”

Yeah, right. Like that made her better, how? He was supposed to implicitly trust one of the generals whose sole creation was to lead an army of demons to destroy the world.

Sure. Made sense.

Never.

“As chosen by another Malachai. Not me,” he gently reminded her.

And still she scoffed at his arguments. “Aeron was so little trusted by his own family that he was banished here to this realm to live out eternity. Doesn’t that give you any kind of qualms?”

“No. Not really. Why should it?” Nick gestured to the forest around them. “This is where one of my own generals was banished after his family cursed him.” He gave her a pointed stare to remind her of how tenuous this argument was. “Do you really want to open that deck, Liv? And have me ask why you were given your position and banished? Trust me. You can’t win playing this hand. Think about it.”

She pressed her lips together as she fumed. “I can teach you to use your powers, too, you know?”

And every fiber of his being warned him against it. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t trust her.

Not even a little bit.

“Liv, this isn’t a contest. You’re not winning or losing. Relax and breathe.”

She bristled. “It feels like one. You always make me feel like I’m second place and unimportant. With everyone. Whether it’s Kody or Caleb or Zavid. And now Aeron. I feel like you like everyone more than me.”

Was she serious? Or insane?

Or just whiney and annoying?

Nick couldn’t believe she had all the power she did and he had to placate her damaged ego. For real?

Yet he did. How could she be so needy and insecure? For that matter, how could she be so dense and immature?

He was the teenager. She was thousands of years old. Surely she didn’t need him to stroke her ego. Did she?

One look at the expression on her face and it was apparent, she did. How weird was that?

Sighing, Nick shook his head at her. “C’mon, Livia. Some of that can’t be helped, and you know it. You are a very attractive woman, and you tend to stand a little too close to me at times.”

“Meaning what?”

“Meaning I love Kody, and I don’t want her to get the wrong idea about us. Nor do I want her feelings hurt. And not that I ever would, but I could sit naked on top of Caleb’s lap all day long, and spoon him in bed, and eat from his spork at school while he hand-fed and burped me, and she wouldn’t care. You sit next to me while she’s across the table, and it’s open war.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Fair or not, it’s how feelings work. I wouldn’t care if she sipped on a single straw with Brynna during lunch or licked chocolate sauce from between Brynna’s fingertips … or shared a single shower stall with her and LaShonda after PE class—in fact, I’ve had that fantasy a few times. But if Kody ever held hands with Caleb or kissed his cheek, I’d go Liu-Kang-Mortal-Kombat all over his giant, hairy ass.”

He narrowed his gaze on her. “As the queen of jealousy, you are well aware of how this works, so don’t play all innocent with me like you don’t know.”

“She should trust you.”

Yeah, right. “This isn’t a matter of trust and you know that. It’s a matter of respect. Kody trusts me and I trust her because we respect each other’s feelings when we’re together and apart, and we don’t play those games with each other’s emotions. I don’t try to make her jealous and she doesn’t do that to me. We don’t have to. So I’m sorry that you feel like you’re second place, but you’re not my girlfriend and you’re a little handsy with my body’s no-zones whenever you’re near me, so I do, and will always, maintain three car lengths’ distance between us at all times.”

And then she did what she always did whenever she was near him. She walked into his personal space and put her hand on his chest before she trailed her hand lower. “You and I could have a good time together, Nick. If you’d let us.”

He pulled her hand away as it neared the waistband of his jeans. “I don’t think of you like that.”

“You could.”

And that was the problem. “Yeah, and I don’t want to be that guy. It’s just a short jump from that to wearing obscene Mardi Gras beads and hanging out on Bourbon Street and sexually harassing women who’d rather switch teams than look at me. No offense, I don’t want to be the poster boy for why women should consider swearing off men altogether, for eternity. I’d rather be a stand-up guy who speaks well for my gender rather than a two-timing mandork.”

She scoffed at him and raked a sneer over his body that would have shriveled the gender of anyone who possessed lesser conviction. “You are a Malachai! Why don’t you ever act like one!” She shoved him. Hard.

Furious at her unwarranted attack, Nick tripped and hit the ground.

Livia unleashed her wings and took her demon form. Her breathing ragged, she stood over his body, glaring down at him. “You’re pathetic! Weak! Disgusting! You have all the power of the universe to take what you want and you never use it! What is wrong with you?”

In that moment, he fully understood what Aeron had tried to teach him earlier.

The difference between hatred and pain.

This was the pain Aeron had talked about. The anguish Nick had felt all his life of being worthless and despised, and of feeling like nothing. That desire not to lash out and hurt others in his hatred, but to prove them wrong whenever they’d judged him for things he couldn’t help. To show them that he wasn’t poor gutter trash to be thrown away. That he wasn’t invisible. That he was a human being with human feelings.

That he mattered.

This wasn’t hatred in his heart.

It was bitter shame.

And it burned like a hungry fire in his gut. Throwing his head back, he let the fury of it roll out of him in a fierce, deep roar. One that echoed through the forest and caused animals to take flight and flee in stark terror.

His wings shot out as his body instantly transformed to its true Malachai nature. Stronger and deadlier than ever.

The color faded from Livia’s face as she backed away obsequiously. She bowed low before him as she begged and pleaded for his forgiveness.

From the darkness around them, Aeron came forward with an arch stare. He wasn’t afraid of Nick, only cautious. “Are you in control, boyo?”

Nick looked around the forest with his intense sight that not only saw, but felt the very air around him. For the first time ever, he was himself in his Malachai’s body. There was no rage beast wanting to consume and devour everything within reach. No desire to kill or to maim.

He was human and beast.

Only more powerful.

Fully in control. United. A single creature that understood both sides of its furious nature. The brutal and the compassion.

Stunned to silence, Nick allowed the enormity of the moment to wash over him. Could it be? He held his hand up to see the marbled black and red flesh. The clawed hands.

Yeah, he was definitely and fully demoned out.

“Nick?” Aeron tried again. “Can you understand me?”

“Yeah. I feel normal. But weird. Really, really weird.” He sounded even weirder. It was the first time he’d been able to really converse with someone as a demon.

Laughing, Aeron winked at him. “You found it, eh?”

Nick nodded slowly. “I think I get it, though. Why you said it could endanger everyone I loved.” He shifted back to his human body and brushed his hand through his hair. “Yeah, definitely, don’t try this at home, kids. Only with professional drivers, on a closed track.”

A slow, knowing smile spread across Aeron’s face. “But try it again? Just to be sure?”

Nick did.

And again, it worked. For the first time, he had complete control over his body and his powers. “Have I mastered it?”

Aeron wasn’t so quick to agree. “You’re getting there. No doubt. It’ll still take more practice.”

He offered Nick a proud smile. “Just remember, your temper will always be the key to unlock those powers, and you’ll have to ride herd on that temper for all your days. As the Malachai, hatred will forever be your weakness. Your undoing. That special place where you’ll want to go for comfort. But it’s the one place you must avoid at all costs, less you want to eat your neighbors and family.”

“Yeah … no. Think I’ll pass.”

“Wise choice, lad.”

Livia straightened and watched him with a peculiar light in her eyes. One Nick wasn’t quite sure about. But he didn’t have time to worry over that. Let her have her tantrum later. Honestly, he was tired of dealing with her and her theatrics. The more he was around her, the more grateful he was for Kody, who never brought drama to his door—other than the demons who followed her there that she couldn’t elude. Yet that wasn’t her fault. She always did her best to get rid of them first.

Right now, he had to save his mom and Caleb. For all he knew, his unknown, mysterious half-brother was nearing the end of his test.

And Nick had to beat him to it. While he honestly would be glad to hand over the reins of Malachai to someone else, anyone else for that matter, he couldn’t allow his mother to stay asleep.

They had to get the berries to wake her. That was his goal.

Nick launched his wings, but kept his human body. Ah yeah, now this was cool. “So … shall we fly to the Nemed?”

With a nod of approval, Aeron turned into the ball of ghost light, and led him through the forest with Lerabeth and Livia trailing behind them.

Now that Nick was able to access his Malachai powers without them taking him over, they were able to reach the tree in a matter of minutes.

Nick also realized that his mission had been a manufactured trick by Chronus and Tiamat. The tree was so tall that without his Malachai wings, he wouldn’t have been able to reach the berries at all. They hung too high. But there was also another problem.

He frowned up at the fruit that was nestled along the leaf-filled branches. “Do I pick the black, green, or red berries?”

“Blackberries,” Livia answered.

“Nae!” Aeron shouted as Nick reached for them. “Nemed blackberries are for death. The green are unripened fruit. The red are what you be needing to revive your loved ones, boyo.”

Livia scoffed at him. “He’s lying to you, Nick. For once, listen to me!”

Nick growled low in his throat, tired of Livia’s eternal bickering and whining. “Lerabeth? Which is it?”

“I was to lead. You’re here. You pick the berries you were told.”

There was only one problem with that. “No one said anything about color-coded berries, crow woman. They just said to pick six.”

“Then pick six and be done with it.”

Nick wanted to wring the neck of that unhelpful red crow. He glanced to Livia, who was glaring at him as if she could kill him herself.

She might be one of his generals, but every part of him said that he should listen to Aeron. “Fine. Then I’m going with the one who calls this place home. If anyone should know which to pick, Aeron should be he.”

He reached for the red ones.

The moment Nick had all six in his hand, Lerabeth opened the portal back to their world.

Nick hesitated. “Can Aeron return with us?”

“I brought two in and was only told to take two out. That is all I can do.”

Nick scowled as he faced the one person he owed everything to. Without the púca they’d have never made it. It didn’t seem right to leave him here and go home after everything Aeron had done for him.

“Aeron—”

“It’s fine, boyo.” He gave Nick a cheerful smile that didn’t quite reach his pale eyes. “Give Xev me best.”

Nick nodded glumly, feeling like crap over this. It wasn’t fair or right.

But then, life seldom was.

As Nick started to turn to leave through the portal, Livia ran up to him and grabbed his Malachai dagger from his back pocket. Before he could ask her what she was doing with it, she cut his throat and vanished through the portal, then sealed it closed.

Stunned by the pain, Nick fell to his knees as he tried to stop the bleeding with his own hands. But it was useless. He was going to die.

He couldn’t believe what had just happened.

Livia had murdered him.

After everything he’d done for her.

I saved her life. Kept her from having to go back to her prison.

And this was how she repaid him. Kyrian was right. No good deed goes unpunished.

Kneeling by his side, Aeron cawed and summoned a small murder of crows to them. Since he couldn’t hold or grasp anything, he had the crows bring straw and brush to make a pillow for Nick’s head. “Breathe, Malachai, stay calm.”

Easier said than done. His senses reeled as his fury mounted over her actions. Livia had betrayed him in the worst sort of way.

The bitch had cut his throat! Literally. And left him to die alone in this realm without friend or family!

But there was nothing to be done about it. In a few minutes, he’d bleed out and be gone from this life.

Forever.

And in that one heartbeat when his anger and hatred were at their highest point, when all he wanted was vengeance and blood, he let it go and released all that negativity from his body and heart.

There was no need in holding on to it now at the very end of his life. Not when he had so many regrets that saddened him and made him wish he’d spent his finite time more productively.

And with the people who’d mattered most to him.

The biggest regret inside his heart was his inability to save his mother and Caleb.

Not being with Kody, during these final precious minutes.

Yet there was one last regret he could take care of before he died. While it wouldn’t render aid to those closest to him, it would to one who had helped them all in the past.

At least he hoped it would. And if he could help one last person before he died, then he could go in peace.

His eyesight blurring and fading, he pulled out his grimoire. It and the dagger Livia had stolen were two of the most powerful tools a Malachai had, and the two he’d first mastered. Sort of. No one ever really mastered the grimoire since it was possessed by an ancient yōkai—a mischievous eastern oracle spirit that had been trapped by his father and tricked into the book. The only way to communicate with her was to offer Nashira a blood sacrifice.

Blood has power and yours has more than most. Make sure you guard it and bleed as little as possible. Caleb’s words of warning went through his head.

A little late since he was now bleeding all over the place. It saturated his ugly Hawaiian shirt and the ground around him. And it covered the necravitacon where his father had trapped her centuries ago.

“Nashira,” Nick gasped weakly, hoping this worked and that he could free her before he died, “hear me and step forward. Not in words, this time, but in your woman’s form. The time has come for you to be restored. A favor to a favor. A Malachai once took you from this world, now the time … has come … for a Malachai to return you.” He held the book to his chest and prayed for it to work.

The air whipped around him, like a violent hurricane. Strong and furious. It drove the crows back as a cloud of dark purple smoke rolled out of the grimoire. It rose up into a column by Nick and Aeron’s side.

A pair of perfect lavender eyes formed to stare incredulously at him. The smoke turned into tendrils of long white hair that was fastened with purple flowers bound in flowering ribbons. Then, ever so slowly, the smoke solidified into the rest of her body.

The white crow tengu that his father had captured centuries ago and bound to his service against her will was a lot tinier than Nick had imagined her. More fragile in appearance … especially given her nasty and biting sarcasm. But in reality, she was similar to a tiny, adorable pixie. Like Simi in her real form, she had pointed ears and a pointy chin.

She was so beautiful. In a unique, impish way. How he wished he’d been able to free her in the human realm and not here. But maybe she’d be able to cross over again. Someday.

And at least she again was in her own body.

Gaping in disbelief, she stared down at her hands and turned them back and forth before she met Nick’s gaze. “I’m restored?”

Nick nodded and offered her a smile even as the darkness stole his sight. “With my dying breath, I free you from your slavery. I’m just sorry it took me so long to figure out how to do it.”