* In the first two editions of this book, I referred to the archetype of care and sacrifice as the Martyr. In writing this edition, I concluded that the word “martyr” has taken on such a pejorative connotation that I had to use another name to help people connect with the part of each of us that lives for something beyond ourselves. However, even with this change of terminology, the archetype still asks us to give not only what is easy, but what sometimes is very difficult. Indeed, there are times that demand that we give something up or that we give to others what we could have kept to ourselves. Also, life follows a natural progression. For example, people who are very successful in business may focus on proving themselves and amassing wealth early in their lives, and later turn to charitable pursuits. In addition, life has a built-in balance, even early on, if you have a family. You may be a fiercely competitive Warrior at work, but at home you may sacrifice your desires willingly in order to be supportive of your spouse, partner, or children.

The term “martyr” used to command great respect. It referred to someone who was willing to die or to sacrifice something of value for principle, for love, or to help others. Ironically, sacrifice has gone out of fashion. At a time when the homeless line our streets, children and the elderly are too often neglected, and the gap between the rich and the poor continues to expand, too few of us seem willing to give generously through our taxes, donations to private charities, or gifts of our own time, to correct these inequities. Contemporary self-help literature often lumps the most noble acts of caring under the rubric of codependence (which has to do with giving inappropriately to those who will use your help to continue an addictive practice). This leaves many with the bizarre idea that always thinking of yourself first is healthy, while caring for others is inherently a sign that you are sick.

* See Appendix C for information about how to use the archetypal wheel to create environments that promote heroism—in families, schools, workplaces, psychotherapy, recovery, and politics.