Chapter Fourteen

The next two days went by in a blur. Keegan had the rest of the week off, as well as the following one, but Sammi did not. In fact, she had dental surgery to perform on Friday, so she was right back in the office, and there was a lot of time spent worrying about Beckett being home alone. To help, she got herself a nanny cam so she could keep an eye on him, thinking if he got into anything or was being a nut, she could give her grandma a call and have her run over to the house.

Shockingly, every time she checked the app on her phone, Beckett was asleep. On the couch, where Sammi had initially not wanted him to be, but asleep. Nothing chewed up. Nothing peed on. No ridiculous zoomies around the house. He simply…slept.

“He’s probably so exhausted from being in the shelter for so long,” Keegan said on the phone Friday, when Sammi found herself with a five-minute break and just wanted to hear her voice, rather than to read typed words in a text. “I mean, you know how loud it is in there. Sleeping couldn’t have been easy. Like trying to sleep in the hospital when somebody’s always coming in and the noise never ends.”

“That’s a good point,” Sammi said with a nod.

“He’s got some catching up to do.” She could hear the smile in Keegan’s voice. She paused, then asked, “Busy day?”

“I’ve got one more patient to see, and then I’m done.”

“And then it’s the weekend. God, I love Fridays.”

“Wanna go to dinner?” It was so strange to her how asking Keegan such a question would’ve sent her nerves into overdrive territory a few weeks ago, but now, it was as simple as asking about the weather.

“Well, I actually have a different idea…” Keegan seemed to let the sentence hang for a moment or two, then went on. “What if we ordered in and watched a movie at your place?”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, Beckett is there. Not that we can’t leave him home, but I’m sure you want to see him.”

“Don’t you mean you want to see him?” Sammi teased.

“That’s what I said. I want to see him.” Her tone made Sammi laugh.

“I think that sounds like a fantastic idea. I should be out of here by four. Come on over whenever. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

She hung up the phone, very aware of the goofy grin on her face. How they’d gotten to this point so quickly was baffling, but also amazing, and she wasn’t about to start questioning it. Instead, she finished with her patient, sent her staff home for the weekend, and did a few housekeeping bits of paperwork. Then she stopped at the liquor store on the way home and bought a couple bottles of wine.

When she pulled in her driveway, she checked her camera app out of curiosity. Beckett was still on the couch, but his head was up and cocked to one side, clearly listening. Then he stood up and looked out the front window where he saw her, and his nubby tail started wiggling, his entire back end shaking on the couch, and she couldn’t help but grin and wave at him. Having a creature that excited to see her when she got home sent her heart soaring, and she hurried inside to love all over him.

They were still in a cuddle puddle in the middle of the living room floor when the doorbell rang, and Keegan pushed her way in.

“Ho, ho, ho, anybody home?” she asked as she toed off her boots and slipped out of her coat.

Beckett jumped up and ran to her, as excited to see her as he had been to see Sammi, and Sammi stayed sitting on the floor, watching, until they finally made their way into the room.

“He hasn’t gone out yet,” Sammi said, as she pushed to her feet. Without thinking about it, she leaned in and kissed Keegan. “Hi.”

Keegan’s cheeks blossomed a pale pink. “Hi.”

One more kiss. And then another.

“I missed you today,” Keegan whispered, and she couldn’t have said anything sweeter. Sammi felt like she floated to the back door to let Beckett out.

Together, they decided to order a pizza, pour some cabernet, and watch a true crime documentary about a serial killer living in a residential neighborhood. Snuggled together on the couch under a blanket with Beckett on the floor close by, they watched, riveted, and when it was finished, Keegan let out a long, slow breath.

“Well. Now I’m going to have to keep a much closer eye on all my neighbors. So thanks for that, Netflix.”

“Listen,” Sammi said, her voice low. “The guy who lives over there?” She pointed vaguely behind her. “I hardly ever see him. He disappears for days on end. And has a workshop in his basement. I hear power tools running all the time.” She widened her eyes in mock horror.

Keegan feigned a gasp. “What if he’s holding women prisoner down there? And…and…dismembering them with his power tools.”

They held horrified gazes and then both burst into laughter.

“He’s actually an architect who goes on a lot of business trips,” Sammi said through her laughter. “And he makes amazing furniture in his workshop.”

“Or so you think,” Keegan said, still chuckling, as she met Sammi’s gaze.

This time, it was Keegan who leaned in for the kiss. And lingered. And lingered a little longer. She tasted sweet and salty—a little from the wine, a little from the pizza—and Sammi wanted more. She took the wineglass from Keegan’s hand and set it on the coffee table, then turned back to her. She took her time, making sure to gauge Keegan’s expression, looking to see if she might be getting nervous or thinking of bolting again.

But all she saw was a soft expression of welcome, so she took Keegan’s face in both hands and kissed her soundly. Tenderly. Like they had all the time in the world.

Because they did.

They kissed for a long time—or at least Sammi thought it felt like a long time—and she could’ve kept on until the end of time. Kissing Keegan was…so many things. Soft. Sensual. Sexy. Intriguing. Wonderful. So. Many. Things.

Eventually, they parted, and for Sammi, it was purposeful, before things got too hot and heavy. She didn’t want any flashbacks or repeats of the last time. So she pressed her forehead to Keegan’s and sighed happily as she smiled.

Keegan’s face was flushed and her lips were a little puffier than usual, and her smile matched Sammi’s as she ran her fingertips over Sammi’s bottom lip. “You’re a really, really good kisser,” she whispered.

“Why, thank you. You’re pretty damn good yourself.”

“We kiss well together.”

“Damn right we do.”

Beckett lifted his head from the floor and looked at them as if telegraphing how ridiculous this conversation was, and it made Sammi grin.

“He’s judging us,” Keegan said.

“He absolutely is.”

Keegan inhaled deeply and let it out. “Okay, so, I think I should go.” Sammi’s expression must’ve telegraphed something because Keegan put a hand on her arm and squeezed. “No, no. It’s nothing like last time, I promise. It’s just…I like this pace we have going. You know?” She glanced off into the distance as if searching for the right words. “I’m so, so good at jumping in. With both feet—or sometimes headfirst—and no regard for any consequences or concerns.” She narrowed her eyes as she looked at Sammi. “Does that make sense?”

“Look, as long as you’re not going to leave here and then disappear from my life for weeks or months, I’m perfectly happy to follow your lead.” She was able to say that because of the soft look on Keegan’s face. She remembered last time all too well, like it was a movie reel stuck on a loop in the back of her mind. The slight panic. The inability to look Sammi in the eye. The shame.

None of that was present now. Keegan simply looked content, and that was all Sammi needed. She pushed to her feet and held out her hand so she could pull Keegan up.

They kissed softly at the door once Keegan was in her coat and gloves, and she’d started her car remotely.

“Tomorrow?” Keegan asked quietly.

“Tomorrow.” Sammi kissed her once more and then watched as she walked to her car, got in, and backed out. She sighed a happy, contented sigh. It was a gorgeous winter night. Not too cold, but not warm enough to make it wet and slushy. She called to Beckett, who trotted over to stand next to her. “How do you feel about taking a nighttime walk, huh, buddy?”

She’d spent some time at the pet store the day after Christmas and purchased a bright red coat to keep Beckett warm on walks. She strapped him into it, his harness, and his leash, got herself all bundled up, and they headed out.

She hadn’t realized it was going on eleven o’clock. The stars were bright in the deep, dark sky, and her breath puffed out in clouds and dissipated in the night. The sidewalks were quiet, of course, and Christmas decorations still twinkled on houses and in yards in her neighborhood.

She hadn’t really understood how peaceful it could be to walk a dog. Beckett was excellent on the leash. He stopped to sniff a lot, but Sammi didn’t mind. This was thinking time, head-clearing time. And the only thought in her head was Keegan. She didn’t need to be cleared out.

If you’d asked Sammi two months ago—hell, maybe even one month ago—if she thought she be where she was now, walking her dog and seeing Keegan, she’d have laughed heartily and told you that was the most outlandish question ever because of course she wouldn’t be.

And now?

She felt her smile bloom across her face. ’Cause yeah. And now.

This slow pace they were taking didn’t bother her at all. It felt healthy. Was that weird? Because it was accurate. And she couldn’t remember the last time she took a consciously healthy step in a relationship. Like, ever.

This was a new Samantha Sorenson. A new Sammi for a new year.

“I like it, Beck,” she said quietly. “I like it a lot.”

They turned for home.

* * *

“Are you coming over for New Year’s Eve?” Mia’s granddaughter had come over on Saturday with her new Christmas present, one with four paws and sweet brown eyes and a big block-shaped head, who wanted nothing more than to be petted and loved and to play with Hulk. Mia sat on the kitchen floor as Beckett rolled onto his back with his head in her lap like there was no one in the world he trusted more. And then Hulk whined, clearly filled with jealousy, and lay down next to Beckett, and Mia’s happiness surged. “Oh my God, these dogs. How did we get so lucky?”

Sammi laughed as she took a bite of a Christmas cookie, sitting at the small round table with her mom. “Is this the last batch of these?” She held up the half-eaten cookie, and Mia nodded.

“Until next year, yup.”

“Damn it.” Sammi took a much smaller bite, like she was trying to make the cookie last longer, and it made her mother laugh. “Yes, I’ll be over Tuesday night. Um…” She hesitated, but Mia knew exactly what she was hesitant about.

“Of course you can bring Keegan,” she said before Sammi could figure out the words she wanted to use. “And please bring this granddoggie of mine. Yes, please.” Her voice went up a couple octaves as she changed to baby talk, and she gave Beckett belly scratches, which only made him wiggle more. “Yes, please. He can keep Hulkie company.” After a moment, she looked at Sammi and held out a hand. “All right, help your old grandmother off the floor.”

“You’re not old, Grams,” Sammi said as she held out a hand, then pulled Mia to her feet. “You’re gonna outlive us all.”

Maggie barked a laugh of agreement at the same time Mia said, “Pfft.”

“So, who all will be here on Tuesday?” Sammi asked, grabbing another cookie. “Is it a party?”

Mia opened a cupboard door and pulled out a box of dog treats. Sammi laughed as she caught a glimpse of several more boxes and pouches in many varieties.

“Keeping the dog treat companies in business, I see.”

“Totally worth it.” She grinned as she pulled out a treat and told the boys to sit. Hulk sat immediately. Beckett blinked at her a good three times, but then dropped his butt to the ground. “Good boy.”

“Fine,” Sammi said, laughing. “We have a little work to do.” Then she glanced at her mom, who sat at the table observing in her usual quiet way. “You knew. You knew Keegan had adopted him for me.”

Maggie simply smiled and sipped her coffee.

Mia shook her head with a grin as she gave Beckett a second treat, then put the box away. “That girl likes you, Samantha. I don’t think you even realize how much.”

“I like her, too, Grams.” Sammi looked at the plate with the cookie supply that was dwindling fast. “Damn it,” she whispered and grabbed another one. “You didn’t answer me. Is Tuesday a party? Or just a small group?”

“It’s a small party. You, Keegan, me, your mother, a couple of my dog walking friends, and their partners if they have them. That’s all. Why?”

“I mean…”

And right there in her kitchen, she watched her granddaughter turn four different shades of red and shrug like she wasn’t sure what to say.

“She means,” Maggie said, clearly hiding a grin, “that she wants to make out with her new girlfriend at midnight, but not in front of a bunch of strangers.”

“Mom,” Sammi said with an expression of horror on her face that had both Maggie and Mia cracking up.

“But am I wrong?” Maggie asked.

“That’s not the point,” Sammi said, verging on whining, and Maggie and Sammi were off to the races, teasing.

Sitting in her kitchen, watching and listening to the woman who was like a daughter to her and the woman who carried her son’s blood in her veins play and tease each other, was one of Mia’s favorite things in the world to do. Her son had been gone for ten years, but here, in this kitchen right now, were the three women he’d loved most in the world: his mother, his wife, and his daughter. It was a bittersweet realization.

“Hey, Grams, you okay?” Sammi’s voice pulled Mia out of her head to find that they were both looking at her.

She blinked rapidly, hoping the tears that had welled up in her eyes wouldn’t fall, and she nodded. “I’m wonderful, honey. I’m wonderful. Come here and give your grandma a hug.”

* * *

The Big Feelings were back. Hard-core.

Keegan wasn’t terribly surprised, because she knew herself pretty well, but that didn’t mean they weren’t…slightly unnerving.

“You okay, honey?” her mom asked as they worked in the kitchen. They were having a family dinner tonight, and Keegan had come over to help, now standing at the counter peeling potatoes that would end up mashed to perfection.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Unconvincing.” Her mom’s smile was gentle and knowing and said talk to me without her actually having to say it.

“God, you know me well.” She gave a soft chuckle at the truth of the statement.

“I’m a mother. I know when something’s up with one of my kids.” They were both quiet for a moment before she said, “Is it Sammi?”

Keegan nodded.

“Bad?” Her mom made a face, and Keegan smiled and shook her head.

“No. Good. Very, very good.”

“What’s the problem, then?”

Keegan sighed because how could she put this into words? How could she define something she didn’t quite understand? “I didn’t expect to be back here,” was what she started with.

“Here…?” Her mom waited for clarification.

“Here where there are feelings for her.”

“Oh,” her mom said, drawing the word out. “I would say that it’s awfully soon for those, but I know they were the problem last time, so…” She cocked her head as she met her daughter’s gaze. “Maybe they never left?”

“I think that might be the case.” She picked up another potato and got to peeling. She really hadn’t been all in on Jules. True, she’d had her own problems, but Keegan knew she hadn’t really given it her all. Maybe this was why.

“Honey, forgive me if this is a stupid thing to say, but I never understood what the problem was before. Like, you had feelings for her, but why was that bad? She seems great.”

“She is great. She’s so great.” She took a deep breath, again searching for the right way to describe what she’d felt then. “I’ve had feelings for people before. I’ve been in love before. But with Sammi…” She shook her head. “It came on so fast and so hard and”—she met her mom’s eyes—“honestly, Mom, it scared the shit out of me.”

“Oh,” her mom said and, again, drew the word out. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“I didn’t tell anybody that. I was so freaked out by how strong it all felt that I just ran. I ran and tucked it all away in a box in my head, never to be dealt with again.”

“Oh, Keegan,” her mother said with a clearly disapproving tone, as she stopped what she was doing to give her daughter a look that matched. “That poor girl.”

“I know. I know, I’m not proud of it. And now…” She let the sentence dangle unfinished.

“And now she’s giving you a second chance and the feelings are back and you’re afraid of hurting her again.”

“Exactly.” What a fucking relief to not have to explain it, to say the words out loud.

“Then don’t.”

“I don’t want to, believe me.”

“Then. Don’t.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

Her mother again stopped what she was doing and fixed Keegan with a look, and this time, she was clearly annoyed with her kid. Keegan knew when that was the case, and it was exactly the case right now. “Listen to me. If you like this girl, then like her. Treat her with kindness and respect. If you don’t think you can do that, then you let her go now. You hurt her once already. Most people don’t get a second chance, you know. She must really like you.”

Keegan was quiet for a moment, lost in the combination of absorbing her mother’s words, feeling guilty about them, and the realization that she then spoke out loud. “I really like her, too,” she said quietly.

Her mother’s whole demeanor softened. “Then like her, baby. There’s no rush. There’s no hurry. Feel your feelings. They’re not bad things. Okay?” Keegan met her mom’s eyes with her own wet ones, and her mother pulled her into a hug. “Oh, sweetie. You have such a big heart. You always have. And sometimes, your feelings? They swamp you, like a rowboat on the ocean. It’s happened your whole life, and—honestly?—it’s hard for your mother to watch.” She gave a sarcastic chuckle. “One of the joys of parenthood—I can’t make your decisions for you.” She squeezed Keegan tightly to her, and Keegan’s eyes continued to well up. “Your heart is the best part of you. Listen to it, okay? Honor it.”

Keegan’s tears spilled over then, trailing softly down her cheeks. “I will, Mom.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “I will.”