Chapter Three

“I might end up with a dog after today, you know.” Shannon Duffy was almost giddy at the possibility. “I’ll just blame you, so Mom doesn’t get mad at me.”

Keegan shifted her car into park and turned to her little sister. “Please. Mom get mad at you?” She snorted to punctuate her point. “You’re the Oops Baby. You get whatever you want.” She said it lightly because that’s how she meant it, and Shannon took no offense. She never did.

“Not my fault!” Shannon called out as she exited the car. “Wow, look at all of this cool stuff.”

Barktoberfest was in full swing at Junebug Farms. Mother Nature had been kind, gifting them a Saturday in late October that was sunny and gorgeous rather than cold and rainy. The sky was a bright electric blue, not a cloud to be seen. The sun shone down warmly. Keegan had chosen leggings, a long white hoodie, and a black puffy vest and was happy that she was going to be perfectly comfortable.

The Junebug Farms property had been transformed since the last time Keegan visited. When had that been? Last month? The month before? White tent tops dotted the space on either side of the main building—vendors selling their wares, game booths—and at the far end of the large parking lot, several food trucks fed the crowd. There were dogs on leashes everywhere, people having been encouraged to bring theirs.

“God, it’s been so long since I’ve been here,” Shannon said quietly, standing still as if trying to figure out where to go first. “You bringing your kids again this year?”

Keegan nodded. “Next month, actually. All five kindergarten classes.”

A snort from Shannon. “That’s a lot of small kids running around.”

“It is. They handle it well here, though.” Her phone pinged and she glanced down at it. A text from Jules.

Have so much fun today! Sorry I couldn’t make it. Miss you! That was followed by a kissing emoji. She slid the phone back into her pocket.

“Okay, I have a plan.” Keegan smiled at her little sister’s words. Shannon always needed a plan, a map for tackling whatever lay in front of her. She pointed toward the food trucks. “We get food first. We’re gonna need energy to make it through all these booths and go make kissy faces at the doggos inside.” She pointed as she explained her logic. “Then we circle around and come back this way, hitting those tents, and that will bring us back to the food trucks again. Because we’ll be hungry by then.” A glance back up at her. “What do you think?”

“Solid plan. Let’s do it.”

They headed toward the food trucks and began at the Greek food one called Gyro Gonna Love It where they got, yes, gyros. Keegan was just biting into hers, a messy, delicious affair, when a voice tickled her senses.

“Oh man, that looks good.” And there was Sammi, a big smile on her face. She wore jeans and hiking boots with a flannel shirt in purples and dark blues, a long sleeve white Henley underneath—unbuttoned enough to give Keegan an enticing view of skin. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and a pair of sunglasses was perched on her head. When Keegan finally met her eyes, they were crinkled at the corners in a smile. “I’ve seen you twice in one month now. That’s gotta be a record.”

Keegan chewed, painfully aware of the enormous mouthful of food she was stuck dealing with. Luckily, Shannon came to the rescue by sticking out her hand.

“Hi. I’m Shannon, Keeg’s little sister. And you are…?”

Sammi took Shannon’s hand and shook it. “Sammi Sorenson. I guess…friend?…of your sister’s.”

“Oh, Sammi, right. I’ve heard all about you.” Shannon said the words cryptically, and she drew out the word all so it had about five syllables. Sammi blanched.

Keegan chewed faster and finally swallowed. “Hey.” She dabbed at her mouth with the paper napkin she’d snagged. “Amazing here, isn’t it?”

Sammi recovered quickly and looked around, nodding. “They’ve outdone themselves, that’s for sure.” She lowered her voice. “My grandma said they’re really hurting for donations. Lost some state funding or something.”

“Oh man, that sucks.” Her phone pinged and she juggled her gyro and the phone as Shannon looked over at the screen and made a sound that was less than flattering.

“Ugh. Jules.” Shannon glanced up at Sammi. “Some chick she’s dating. Bo-ring!”

If Keegan had had a free hand, she’d have swatted at her little sister. Instead, she had to settle for leveling a glare at her, which Shannon simply shrugged off.

“Well,” Sammi said, looking suddenly uncomfortable, “I’ll leave you to it. It was nice to meet you, Shannon.” She turned and headed off in the direction of the main building, and Keegan watched her go, feeling a mix of things she didn’t want to dwell on.

“I don’t understand you, you know.” Shannon was also watching Sammi walk away. “She’s super hot. She’s nice. She’s clearly into you. And did I mention super hot? What’s the problem?”

Keegan’s brain tossed her an image then. A memory from nearly a year ago, the fumbling and the panic attack and the literal fucking disaster she and Sammi had agreed to never, ever mention again.

“You wouldn’t understand,” she said before she could think about how insulting that would sound. A flash of pain zipped across Shannon’s face, and Keegan wanted to clarify by saying You wouldn’t understand because even I don’t understand, but she didn’t. Instead, she grabbed Shannon’s hand and said, “I think there are a couple of mini horses in the barn…”

It worked. Shannon’s face lit up. “Why are we standing here then?”

Off to the barn they went.

* * *

Why couldn’t she forget about Keegan Duffy?

It was a thought that had floated around in Sammi’s mind for the past eleven months, and she had no answer. Zip. Zero. Zilch. She didn’t like to think about that night, how they’d gone on a date, finally, after running into each other such an inordinate number of times, there was no way not think the Universe was trying to tell them something. They’d had a fabulous dinner. The conversation had been riveting. She’d found Keegan to be funny and smart and as beautiful inside as she was outside. They’d gone back to Sammi’s place for a nightcap. Honestly, Sammi hadn’t planned that they’d end up making out on her couch—she just hadn’t wanted the night with Keegan to end just yet.

But something had happened, and she still wasn’t sure what it was. They’d been in full-on make-out mode, heavy kissing, wandering hands, clothing unbuttoned, and suddenly Keegan had stopped everything. Like, screeching halt. There were no other words for it. She’d pushed Sammi off her, slid herself away. She’d apologized, trying to verbalize…something. She’d used a lot of I can’ts and it’s too muches, and then she pleaded with Sammi that they never talk about it again. Ever. Weirdness, confusion, hurt. Sammi had felt all of it. And then Keegan had grabbed her jacket and left. Sammi had literally sat on the couch for the next fifteen minutes wondering what the hell had just happened and why.

She’d texted and Keegan hadn’t ghosted her, so that was a plus, but Keegan hadn’t really offered much of an explanation. And Sammi couldn’t help but think that when somebody doesn’t offer much of an explanation, it usually means the explanation is something they don’t want to say out loud. That left Sammi feeling self-conscious and embarrassed. Had she pushed too hard? Had she turned Keegan off in some way? Oh God, was she a terrible kisser? That last one still fucked with her head, nearly a year later. Because how did you fix that?

After a couple weeks of sporadic texting, they’d eased into a sort of comfortable friendship. Sammi never brought up that night again—and neither did Keegan—but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t sit in the back of her mind, pretty much twenty-four seven. She’d done her best to resign herself to never knowing what the hell had happened, and she’d packed that night up tightly in a box and put it on a high, high shelf in her memory bank. She accepted that she and Keegan were meant to be friends and nothing more, but that didn’t mean she had to be okay with it.

And now Keegan was dating somebody named Jules.

Ugh.

“Jules.” She sneered the name softly to herself. Ugh. Stupid Jules. What a stupid name.

“There you are.” Her grandmother’s voice came from somewhere off to her right, and then Sammi saw her, making her way through the crowd, nodding and smiling and saying hello, because Mia Sorenson seemed to know half of Northwood, and she knew everybody involved with Junebug Farms.

“Hi, Grams.” Sammi gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“You just get here?”

“About half an hour ago. I was just talking with Keegan and her sister, and then I was heading inside to check things out in there.”

“Oh, Keegan’s here?” Her grandmother pushed up onto her tiptoes—which didn’t help much, given she was only five foot two—and scanned the crowd. Sammi suppressed an eye roll. Her grandma had always prided herself in her matchmaking skills—to be fair, she had matched up several happy couples—and she adored Keegan. She’d only met her a couple times, but she was constantly telling Sammi how good they’d be together. While Sammi had been too ashamed to tell her about that fateful night on the couch, she often had to steer the subject in another direction. Like now.

“Yeah, I think she’s waiting for her girlfriend.”

Her grandma’s head snapped around, eyes wide. “She has a girlfriend?”

“She’s dating somebody new now,” Sammi said, forcing herself to sound nonchalant. “I told you that already, remember?”

“Oh. Well, that’s not the same as having a girlfriend.”

Sammi frowned. “It’s not? How do you figure?”

“I mean, a girlfriend is a—hopefully—permanent resident. Dating somebody means you’re still figuring things out. You know?”

“Hey, you two.” Sammi’s mother approached them from the opposite direction as her grandmother had. She was wearing a Junebug Farms sweatshirt with Rescue a Heart on it, along with line drawings of a dog, cat, horse, and guinea pig.

“Hi, Mom.” She looked from one to the other. “You guys eat yet?”

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting at a picnic table eating bowls of poutine from the You’re Poutine Me On truck.

“I feel like the food trucks are trying to top each other with the punny names.” Sammi’s mom forked a gravy-sodden fry into her mouth.

“They probably are.”

“Oh!” Her grandma set her fork down and held out her hands, palms out, like she was stopping traffic. “I almost forgot to tell you…” She glanced around and lowered her voice a bit. “The shelter lost some state funding and is struggling to get more donations. I did tell you that. But they’ve got this fundraiser planned…” She explained everything to them, saying she’d learned it all from Jessica Barstow, the CEO. Then she looked at Sammi and said, “I may or may not have nominated you for queen.”

“Oh my God, you didn’t.” Sammi closed her eyes. “Grandma.”

“What? I happen to think you’d make a fantastic queen.”

Her mother stood up. “I have to use the ladies’ room, but before I go, I’d like to toss in my two cents. I also think you’d make a fabulous queen.” And she flounced away laughing.

Sammi laughed, too. She couldn’t help it. “I mean, I totally would, but who has the time?” She chewed a cheese curd.

“The cause is well worth it. You could make the time.” Her grandma turned away to scan the crowd. “Oh, there’s Keegan.” And before Sammi could stop her, she was waving and calling Keegan’s name.

Since crawling under the picnic table to hide was probably unacceptable picnic etiquette, Sammi was forced to sit there and smile and try not to look uncomfortable. At least not as uncomfortable as Keegan looked as she approached their table.

“Well, hello there,” she said cheerfully as she bent to give Sammi’s grandma a kiss on the cheek.

“You here alone?” her grandma asked.

“No, my sister’s with me.” Keegan gestured absently off into the distance. “I think she found a high school friend she hasn’t seen in a while.”

“I heard you’ve been seeing somebody new.”

Her grandma took a bite of her poutine, her gaze never leaving Keegan’s, even as Sammi ground out, “Grandma!”

Keegan laughed softly, and her cheeks blossomed with pink circles. “Yeah. Guilty as charged.”

Sammi’s grandma made a show of looking around. “Where is she? Is she here with you?”

“Oh. Oh no.” Keegan shook her head, and she seemed to be very carefully not looking at Sammi. “This isn’t really…her thing.”

“Saving abandoned animals isn’t her thing?” her grandma said. “That’s strange because it’s very much yours, if I recall correctly from all your donations and your stint on the board and your field trips here with your students.” She took another bite and kept her eyes on Keegan as she chewed. Sammi looked around for a hole she could crawl into. Maybe an alien spacecraft could beam her up right now. Please.

There was a beat of awkward before Keegan smiled and said, “Oh, there’s my sister now. It was great seeing you again, Mrs. Sorenson.” She gave Sammi a nod. “Sammi.” And she headed across the lawn toward the main building. Sammi saw no sign of Keegan’s sister, and once she was out of earshot, Sammi whipped around to her grandmother.

“Seriously?”

Her grandmother gave an innocent shrug. “What? I was just asking her some questions.”

“Well, next time, just…don’t. Okay?” Her appetite gone, she tossed the remainder of her poutine in the trash.

* * *

Nope, not awkward at all.

Keegan shook her head as she walked. She had no idea where Shannon was—she just had to get out of there. Before she could dwell any longer on the mortification that had so clearly parked itself on Sammi’s face, her phone pinged, then pinged again.

The first text was from Jules. Hey, babe, what time are you done? Wanna do dinner?

She’d been bummed that Jules hadn’t wanted to accompany her to Junebug, even after she’d explained how much the place meant to her. She just wasn’t really an animal person. That’s what she’d said. I’m just not really an animal person. And she’d shrugged like she hadn’t said something absolutely ludicrous. Some people didn’t like animals. Right? That was fine. Totally allowed. Keegan could get past that. Sure she could.

The second text was from Sammi. I’m so sorry, was all it said, followed by a sad emoji.

Keegan had a quick flash of herself in the past saying exactly the same thing to Sammi. I’m so sorry. Ugh.

“There you are.” Shannon’s voice pulled her out of her head and back to the present.

“Hey. Hi. Where’ve you been?”

Shannon jerked a thumb over her shoulder toward the main building where she’d just come from. “Saw a friend from high school in there, so we were chatting. I also might have nominated you for the king and queen thing they’re doing to fundraise.” She gave a little giggle and headed to the left. “Come on. I wanna feed goats.”

“You did not.” Keegan hurried after her.

“Did,” Shannon said when she’d caught up to her.

“Oh my God, why?”

“Because it might be fun.” Shannon got herself a cup of feed for the goats. “But there were about a gazillion nominees, so don’t worry. Your chances of winning are pretty slim. And why are you mad? You love this place.”

“That’s true,” Keegan said with a sigh. She could feel Shannon’s eyes on her.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. I think I’m just tired.”

“You wanna bounce?”

“Soon. Jules wants to go to dinner.”

It was Shannon’s turn to shake her head. “I don’t get why she’s not here. She’s just sitting at home on a weekend while the woman she’s dating is out having fun and doing something she’s passionate about. It’s weird.”

“It’s not weird.” Keegan watched a goat eat feed from Shannon’s hand, daintily and adorably. “Okay, it’s a little bit weird.”

Shannon barked a laugh.

They spent a little while longer wandering the festival. So many people had their dogs with them, and seeing all the different breeds and mixes was incredibly interesting to Keegan. She wanted a dog. She had for a long time. An apartment wasn’t ideal, though, so she’d hesitated and was still thinking about it. Plus, there were her two cats. She wasn’t a hundred percent sure how they’d do with a dog. But she thought about it. One day…

Her phone pinged again, and she immediately felt bad she hadn’t texted Sammi back. She pulled out her phone. Jules again. Hello?

Yeah, she hadn’t texted her back either.

Shannon looked over her shoulder. “Hello? Wow. Rude much?”

“It’s because I didn’t answer her.”

“So?”

Keegan ignored her sister as she typed, Leaving soon. Dinner sounds good.

Jules’s text came back immediately. Yay! Can’t wait to see you, and a heart emoji.

She looked up. “Ready to go?”

Shannon sighed loudly and made it clear she wasn’t, but she went anyway, since Keegan was her ride. As they made their way to the car, Shannon waved to someone and Keegan followed her gaze. Sammi was near a vendor tent and waving good-bye to them.

The car doors shut, and Keegan pushed the ignition button.

“I like her,” Shannon said.

“Who?”

“Sammi. She’s so nice, and she’s so hot, and I just don’t understand why you don’t hit that.”

What Keegan didn’t say was that she’d tried and then freaked out and ran out of Sammi’s apartment in the literal middle of a make-out session. Shannon didn’t know about that night. Nobody did. Not from her. God, it was so embarrassing, and the last thing she needed was to fall into a shame spiral from thinking about it.

No. Now there was Jules. She could be something, right? She was sweet. She was funny. She was attractive. But in order for her to be something, Keegan needed to step back from Sammi. She had a little bit recently, but only because of life. This might have to be more…intentional. It wasn’t fair to Jules for her to have such a strong connection to somebody else. And she did. She did have a strong connection to Sammi. Too strong. And if she couldn’t get past that night, what was the point? No, it was time to focus her attention on something—somebody—else.

She shifted the car into gear and headed to meet Jules for dinner.