Appendix

Creating Your Child’s Sleep Schedule

Use this information as a reference to help you set your baby or child’s sleep schedule.

1. Sleep Needs

Age	Naps	Total Nap Hours per Day	Total Nighttime Hours of Sleep	Total Sleep in 24 Hours
0 to 4 weeks	Varied, many	7–9	7–9	16–18
1 to 2 months	3–5	5–7	8–10	15–16
3 to 5 months	3–4	3–5	9½–12	14–15
6 to 8 months	3	3–4	10–12	14–15
9 to 11 months	2	2½–4	11–12	14–15
12–15 months	2	2–3½	11–12	13–15
16–23 months	1–2	1–2	11–12	12–14
2–3 years	1	1–2	11	12–13
3–4 years	0–1	0–1½	11–11½	11–13
4–6 years	0	0	10½–12	10½–12

2. How Many Naps Does My Child Need?

5 months: three naps (if baby catnaps, she may even take four naps/day)

9 months: two naps

15 to 20 months: one nap

3 to 5 years: Most children stop napping

3. Span of Awake Time Between Sleeps

The optimal amount of time they are able to stay awake based on their sleep drive:

5 to 6 months	1½–2½ hours (sometimes with one 3-hour span in the afternoon)
9 months	3–3½ hours
15 to 20 months	4 to 5 hours (depending on the length of nap)

4. Nap Schedule Examples

0 TO 5 OR 6 MONTHS OLD (USE SPAN OF AWAKE TIME)

6 TO 9 MONTHS OLD (THREE NAPS)

	Example 1	Example 2
Bedtime	7:00 p.m.	7:30 p.m.
Wake time	6:00 a.m.	6:30 a.m.
First Nap	7:30 a.m.	8:30 a.m.
Second Nap	12:00 p.m.	12:30 p.m.
Third Nap	3:00 p.m.	3:30 p.m.

9 TO 15–20 MONTHS OLD (TWO NAPS)

	Example 1	Example 2
Bedtime	7:00 p.m.	7:30 p.m.
Wake time	6:00 a.m.	6:30 a.m.
First Nap	9:00 a.m.	9:30 a.m.
Second Nap	2:00 p.m.	2:30 p.m.

15 TO 20 MONTHS TO 2 TO 3 YEARS (ONE NAP)

	Example 1	Example 2
Bedtime	7:00 p.m.	7:30 p.m.
Wake time	6:00 a.m.	6:30 a.m.
Nap	11:30 a.m.	12:30 p.m.

3 TO 5 YEARS (ONE NAP)

	Example 1	Example 2
Bedtime	7:00 p.m.	7:30 p.m.
Wake time	6:00 a.m.	7:00 a.m.
Nap	12:30 p.m.	1:00 p.m.

Sleep Progress Chart

In this chart, record the time baby goes to bed, as well as the time of any night wakings, how long you feed (if feeding or weaning), how long protesting and crying lasts with Sleep Wave checks, and what the outcome is (for example, baby self-soothes to sleep). If you’re consistent with checks, you will see progress over time. Start with bedtime on Day 1, continue with naps on Day 2, and now you’re on your way!

For a printable Sleep Progress Chart with multiple days, go to www.thehappysleeper.com.

Sleep Wave Planner

Here you can make notes for your sleep plan. For a downloadable version, go to www.thehappysleeper.com

FINAL REMINDERS

Check-in with script every 5 minutes if crying, stay extremely consistent, don’t soothe during checks, and stay very calm and confident.

Mindfulness Exercises for Parents

You’re knee-deep in dishes, running a bath, reviewing your mental checklist for tomorrow, and maybe even manning the needs of multiple kids at once—and now we’re asking you to be attuned?

Sounds like a tall order, but we have a well-researched tool in our corner that will help make this possible: mindfulness, or the practice of being aware and present. Mindfulness techniques are at the leading edge of research, showing powerful effects on health (lowering blood pressure, boosting the immune system, improving mood, and more). Only recently have we been able to understand from a brain science perspective why and how mindfulness helps us in so many ways. The research on the power of mindfulness is so compelling, it only makes sense to learn about it and apply it to your life as a parent. It’s your direct route to attunement.

If you’re a busy parent (is there any other type?), the idea of being in a “calm, curious place” may sound impossible. But modern exercises for growing mindfulness don’t require you to sit cross-legged and still. They are portable, and any activity can be used for meditation. Let us introduce you to the Kitchen Sink meditation because, if you’re like us, you spend a good amount of time there. Yes, you heard us. We’re going to help you strengthen neural connections while you’re rinsing those sippy cups.

It’s very easy. The next time you’re washing dishes, focus on the feel of the water on your hands, the sound of the water flowing, and the warmth and suds. Be in the simplicity of what is happening, only in this one moment. Direct your mind away from your to-do list, your worries, what is stressing you, and toward the sensations in your environment. It takes repetition. At first your mind might wander over and over. The more you do it, though, the better you become at it. This is like a mental muscle, so you have to practice.

There are many ways to meditate. The key is finding the ones that work best for you. The goal of meditating is to practice it every day, even for just a few minutes, so that when you need it, you can draw on those strengthened brain pathways to make a new, thoughtful, more aware choice. Keep it simple, work it into your daily routines, and you’ll be surprised to find your awareness naturally increasing. Here are some doable ways for parents to meditate. During each of these, inhale and exhale through your nose.

Bed Meditation (Before anyone knows you’re awake!) Sit up, focus on the air moving in and out of your lungs. Cool on the inhale, warmer on the exhale.

Body Scan On each breath, check in with a body part, working from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. On each exhale, relax that part. Notice where you hold the most tension and repeat those areas a few times.

Relaxation Breathing Focus on your breathing. Lengthen your inhales and exhales. Notice your chest and tummy expand on the inhale. On the exhale, feel everything release. Let gravity help you let go.

Walking Meditation Focus on the pressure you feel on the sole of each foot as you walk, what you see, or the sounds you hear in the distance. Just let the sensations enter your awareness.

Push the Pause Button At a challenging moment, practice pausing. Do nothing. See what it feels like to not react automatically.

Eating Meditation Focus on a bit of food, the taste, the textures, the aroma. Let the sensations enter your awareness. Jon Kabat-Zinn has a famous meditation on eating a raisin. This one can completely change the way you enjoy food!

Sleep Meditations for Parents

Belly Breathing Lie on your back with your hands flat on your belly just below your waist. Focus on the rise and fall of your hands over your belly as you take long, slow breaths in and out through your nose. Try to gradually lengthen your breath and take as long to exhale as you do to inhale. If you find yourself thinking about your to-do list or your worries, gently bring your attention back to your breath and your hands rising and falling on your belly. You may have to direct your attention back many times, and that’s okay.

Breathing Meditation Inhale to the count of 8, hold for 4 counts, and then exhale, letting everything go. Feel a complete release on the exhale and sink into it for 2 to 3 counts. Repeat this until you fall asleep. Keep your mind’s attention focused on your breathing and gently refocus your attention if it wanders.

Peaceful Place Bring your attention to an image of a place or scene you find calming. It can be anything: your favorite beach or vacation spot, clouds in the sky, the steps of a dance routine, mentally decorating your home, lying on the ground and looking up into tree branches; it’s very individual. The idea is that if you really explore this scene in your mind, it directs and focuses your attention and leaves no room for planning, worrying, ruminating, or other mental activities that might be keeping you up. Gradually you’ll feel your body and mind relax.

Body Scan Slow down your breathing and, on each exhale, focus on and release completely one small body part. Start at the top of your head and release every part of your face, neck, shoulders, arms, torso, pelvic area, and legs, all the way down to your toes. Feel your muscles in each body part relax and let gravity release them down into your mattress. If you’re still awake when you get to your toes, start at the top of your head again. You can repeat body parts that hold the most tension, such as your eyelids, forehead, jaw, shoulders, chest, and belly.