In high school I was an astute calorie counter. The calculator that I brought with me everywhere was for my calculus class, but I also used it to keep constant tallies of the calories in the pretzels, apples and other foods I allowed myself to eat. This information was jotted down in the back of my notebooks so that I could keep track of how many calories I had “left” for the day. I was always starving, even after I’d “used up” the number of calories I deemed okay for me to eat in a day, and I was endlessly frustrated. Sometimes I was so hungry by mid-afternoon that after track practice I would come home and raid the fridge. But if I ate “too much,” not only would I make myself skip dinner, but I might also skip breakfast the next morning, in an effort to get the total number of calories within a twenty-four-hour period to add up.
Unfortunately, teenage Kimberly isn’t the only one who has ever exhibited this type of behavior. With the excessive number of calorie-counting apps available nowadays, it has become common practice to think of what we eat as part of a large mathematical equation, something that is to be charted, studied and critiqued. I see this type of behavior in women all the time. Instead of thinking about what they need to nourish themselves in the present, they might tell me, “I ate way too much last night. So today I’m just going to have the Glowing Green Smoothie and juice all day.” Or someone might say to me, “I was really bad and ate too much fruit (or some other food that’s actually healthy and nourishing), so today I’m just not going to eat for a while.” In other words, this individual might skip dinner or eat nothing after 3:00 p.m. Periodic, properly administered cleanses can be helpful, as they accelerate the release of toxins for better general health and energy and they can help reinforce long-term habits. But what we’re discussing here is clearly a self-imposed starvation day because of guilt, which is vastly different from a cleanse.
If I could go back and tell teenage Kimberly anything, it would be to throw away that calculator (or keep it for math class only!) and learn to eat in the present moment. I would explain that regretting what you ate in the past and using this regret to justify not eating in the future is a sure way to keep your diet (and your entire life) out of balance. Mentally staying in the now can help you better achieve your goals. In 2011, Harvard Medical School published an article entitled “Mindful Eating May Help with Weight Loss” in its newsletter. The article comments on the growing body of research that suggests that mindful eating, which is based on “being fully aware of what is happening within and around you at the moment,” can help with weight loss.(1)
Staying present beats calorie counting hands down in every possible weight-, health- and beauty-related way. Researchers at Indiana State University and Duke University conducted a study whose participants included 150 binge eaters. They found that the group that received mindfulness-based therapy, including meditation at mealtimes and throughout the day, seemed to enjoy their food more and to struggle less when it came to controlling their eating.(2) If you stay present, you’ll be able to get in touch with what your body actually needs at any given moment, you’ll make more authentic and nourishing choices, ones that feature whole, fiber-filled foods. Not only will this help you lose weight and keep it off, but it also will allow you to nourish your body and enhance your beauty in a deeper, more fulfilling way.
Pause to Move Forward
There is a subtle pause between each inhale and exhale. There is a universal pause in nature right before sunrise and right after sunset, when the earth transitions into a different phase of the daily cycle. The moon pauses as a new moon between the waning and waxing phases. These pauses, which are intrinsic to nature, are also essential for you to take regularly so you can tap into your body’s true needs, which are beyond anything ego-based. Thoughts produce feelings, and feelings create emotions, which can lead to mindless eating. Pauses help to sort out the thoughts and emotions so you won’t be tempted to soothe your mind by stuffing yourself with food.
When you pause, you create an opportunity to become aware of your thoughts, which may be influenced by your ego. You can then choose to identify with them or see them for what they are—perhaps a remnant from the past, a habit passed on to you from someone else, or the remainder of an old childhood wound. By choosing not to identify with these thoughts, you can break the pattern of turning thoughts into emotions and then into eating habits. But if you don’t even take the opportunity to pause, the pattern, including eating habits, will just repeat itself again and again. The world is getting faster. You can play games on your phone anytime you have a free moment, or you can race through different websites while surfing the internet. Pauses seem simple, but taking them requires your conscious effort.
Staying present with your body will be the most effective part of your weight-loss strategy, far more impactful than the countless fad diets or the mental mathematics you may have expended incalculable amounts of energy on over the years. Pauses create space, and space directs your awareness inward, which is where your real power lies.
Make the Best Choice You Can in the Now
Remember that power is always available to you in the present moment. The best way to become present is to begin eating with attention and care. When I visit a client at his or her office, I am always shocked to see people eating at their desks, in front of their computers or while talking on the phone and answering emails! This is a clear example of disembodiment. Trying to save time by completing as many tasks as possible while eating means there’s no presence to the act of eating, no respecting or helping the intricate process of digestion so it can be performed most efficiently. Sometimes, more time is allotted to watching a favorite television show than to focusing on mindfully eating a meal.
When I traveled back to India and stayed at ashrams outside Calcutta and throughout the country, I took part in certain dining rituals. Before entering the dining hall, you take off your shoes and add them to the neat rows outside the front door. The women and the men sit on opposite sides of the dining hall. And absolute silence is maintained during meal times. At first, I thought that sitting in silence would take away from the joy of meal times and that I would miss out on an opportunity to interact with some of the Indian devotees. But soon I realized that I was present while eating, and that was quite remarkable. I could be with my food, pay attention and truly appreciate it. Not only did it start to taste better, but I also started needing less of it, as the silence allowed me to tune in to what my body truly needed at that moment. I also realized that gratitude is one of the strongest energies. Having gratitude for daily gifts, such as having access to nourishing foods, infuses your life with energy and brings more joy to you.
If you take the time to focus while you’re eating, by refraining from performing other tasks, you will have so much more power over what and how much you eat. On the other hand, bartering with time never works when creating a balanced body or a balanced mind. If the past and the future are in the foreground of your thoughts more than the present moment, you are creating hidden agendas, whether you are aware of this or not. This focus on the past or the future, which are not in existence, creates a dysfunctional relationship with your diet.
Many of us do this unknowingly. One clear sign that we are not present while eating is our use of the word should. So often I hear women fret, “I should have eaten a salad last night at dinner, instead of another sandwich” or “I should already have lost five pounds by now.” The word should implies regret about the past, and living in the past pulls you away from the present and is disempowering. If you had an “off” day or went out with some friends and overindulged, so what? You want to make better choices overall, but you don’t have to worry that you have to eat 100% ideal foods all of the time. Let it go. Some less than ideal choices here and there aren’t going to make a big impact.
On a recent trip to Amsterdam I was in a pub, watching the World Cup, and I was starving from walking all day. I really needed to eat something, and I didn’t want to miss the match and go trolling around, looking for the perfect snacks, so I ended up eating a whole bunch of chips. Not a tiny little bag, but a big ole serving. And you know what? I didn’t stress about it. I don’t eat chips regularly, I didn’t worry and I didn’t gain weight.
Stay present and make the best choice you can in the now. Start asking yourself, “What will serve me best right at this moment?” This is not the same as saying, “I want that candy bar right now,” or not planning ahead and coming home, starving, to an empty fridge and succumbing to fast food as a result on a consistent basis. These choices are made on the surface level of ego, and they are reactive.
I want you to take a pause before you choose what to eat so you can feel what your body authentically needs at the moment. Not what taste you are craving, not what the fastest option is, but what will provide true nourishment. When I take the time to do this, I can feel if I’d rather have hot soup, a hearty salad or another smoothie at that time, and I feel more deeply satisfied, because I’m making a choice based on what my body is really telling me it needs. I can also tell when I need something more substantial than just a raw salad to carry me through, like, say, Comfort Chili.
To be prepared, you have to take the right steps: grocery shopping, thinking through your day, making large batches of certain dishes that keep well for a few days, keeping your freezer stocked for emergency meals and being strategic when eating in restaurants. Some simple tips you can apply anywhere are always order a big salad to start your meal no matter what else follows, choose veggies over fried or heavy sides or sides containing dairy, and go into the meal hydrated so you minimize your consumption of liquids, which can slow digestion by diluting digestive enzymes.
By shifting your thoughts away from shoulds and regrets, you’ll be able to stop the cycle of extremes and move toward balance. Avoid binging at dinner and then starving yourself the next day, eating a huge brunch with a friend and then eating only a packaged protein bar the rest of the day “to make up for it,” or having only coffee or juice all day so that you can eat a big dinner. Once you stop dipping between the extremes of regretting the past and planning for the future, you will live in the present moment, you will start to relate to your body on a much deeper level, and you will get the results you are looking for without the struggle. In fact, your whole life will change.
POWER TIPS
1. Plan your day with balance in mind. Ensure you get in your Glowing Green Smoothie. Stock up on good staples to have at home, such as greens, lemons, avocados, apples, pears, bananas, sweet potatoes and winter squash (you can just throw the sweet potatoes and the squash in the oven when you get home from work), quinoa, lentils and your favorite spices, as well as ingredients for dishes you can make in bulk and have for lunch, such as The Twiga Salad, the Shakti Power Salad or the Cauliflower Gnocchi with Walnut Pesto. When you are prepared, you protect yourself against binge and starvation cycles.
2. Eat for nourishment at every meal. Listen to your body and honor it by giving it the best possible choices. Avoid “diet” foods, and seek out fresh, wholesome, fiber-filled meals, which provide nourishment and won’t leave you hungry. It’s a great idea to construct your lunch every day around a large salad with add-ons, like avocado, sweet potato and other veggies, a large vegetable-based soup or a veggie wrap. Try to avoid consuming too much oil, which can make you feel sluggish.
3. Be present. When you eat, do not regret the past or think of the future or future meals. If you ate less than ideally at your last meal or are in a slump, don’t worry or obsess. Let it go! Focus on the act of eating with gratitude, right in the present moment. Be grateful for your food, and it will be digested better and will be more nourishing.
4. Ask your body what it really needs. Before you make a meal choice, pose the question and see what comes up. If you find it hard to do this at first, start by taking stock of how you feel after eating certain foods at certain times. You may become aware of eating something because it was what others ordered; or eating something out of habit, even though it wasn’t what you really wanted or needed at that time; or feeling overly full or lethargic after a meal. The more you tune in to your body, the easier it will be to be more in tune with what your body needs.
I claim my power in the now.
* * *
I listen to my body and nourish it
with what it truly needs.
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I am loving and forgiving of myself.
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My diet is now beautifully balanced,
because I am present.