I had a list of men who were waiting around for a cancellation, some who were content with waiting three months before their appointment, just to ensure they saw me. I was wanted. I was desired. But it wasn’t me they wanted, not really, they were coming for a Willa Jordan lookalike. They were coming to fuck the girl who got jizzed on by Liam Carson. Even the women outside the Hop, standing out there with signs saying my name in glitter, Lady Lane, my fans, had no idea who they were idolizing. Fame means everyone knowing your name and no one knowing you at all.
One guest, a middle-aged man wearing skinny jeans, he’d come all the way from California, he told me, to get humiliated by Willa Jordan. He was wearing a collar and I held his leash and walked him around the Hop and when we got back to my room he wanted me to step on his neck with my bare foot. He said, “Can you say her line?”
“What line?”
“The one from the end of the new Lady Bond? I’ll do the guy’s line, and then you do her line. Okay?”
“Sure.”
“You fight like a girl.”
“A girl who can kick your ass.”
“No, it’s, ‘This girl can kick your ass.’”
“No, it isn’t.”
He stopped touching himself and frowned at me.
“Sorry,” I said. “This girl can kick your ass.”
* * *
The video’s views climbed and climbed, and just as they started to plateau, Liam Carson released an apology statement: a screenshot of the notes app on his phone. Some bogus explanation including a made-up sex addiction. So, the note said, I fucked up. Something that a lot of you don’t know about me is that I am a sex addict, and when Willa is away on production, I suffer from withdrawals that have a negative impact on my health, both mentally and physically. Willa knows of my condition and we have talked about it at length. She has accepted my apology, and I promise, to her and to all of you, to continue working on myself, and to do better. I feel so lucky to be with someone like Willa, and every day I thank god that she sees me for who I want to be, rather than who I am, which is a flawed human being who, just like everyone else, makes mistakes. I am so sorry to any fans disappointed by my behavior. Please know that no one is as disappointed in me as I am.
The world loved the statement. This is how you make an apology, the internet said. They left clapping emojis and fire emojis and heart-eye emojis.
Wait a second, someone posted on Twitter. Liam Carson’s apology might be successful when it comes to the personal, but it completely evades all larger political conversation.
Another statement from Liam’s publicity team ironed that crease out in under a day. They donated $100,000 to Sex Workers United, and Liam posted a note on his social saying: While I support sex worker rights and believe that all sex workers should be afforded personal safety and security under the law, I am ashamed of my patronization of the Hop and hiring Kate Burns, or Lady Lane, to engage in sexual relations with me, and I will not be returning to the establishment.
Even though he’d denounced us, our phones started ringing off the hook. All publicity is good publicity if you’re thinking only of profits and never of people. Cheryl couldn’t keep up.