The summer of my eighteenth year, my grandfather died and I inherited his chest of drawers. I wanted to inherit his gentle disposition, but had to settle for his chest of drawers. When I left for college I took it with me. After college I hauled it from one apartment to another, then to a parsonage. Now it is back in the town from whence it came, settled in between the windows of our bedroom. I hope never to move it again.
When I open it to pull out clean underwear, I think back to when I was little and would visit my grandparents. I’d walk the three blocks to their house and through the wood screen door and there would be my grandparents, waiting for me. We’d eat lunch at the table my grandfather had built, then my grandfather and I would go to his workshop and build birdhouses.
Three o’clock was the time for our naps. I would lie on the couch and my grandparents would doze on their twin beds. When I could hear my grandfather snore and knew he was asleep, I would pull a chair up to his chest of drawers and rummage through it, searching for treasure—old letters, cuff links, a pocketknife from the 1939 World’s Fair in New York City, and a picture of a woman wearing a swimsuit. The picture was in a little box with Private written on it, which was the only encouragement I needed to open the box for inspection.
In the bottom drawer, underneath his long underwear, were brittle clippings from the Harmony Herald chronicling our family history. There was an article describing my grandparents’ wedding and their honeymoon plans: an overnight trip to the Statler Hotel in the city. One room, breakfast included, for $9.50. My grandfather paper-clipped the receipt to the newspaper article.
Uncle Addison was born nine months and one day later. He was the first of four children and the most popular boy in town. He was captain of the football team and voted most likely to move away. At his high school graduation, the principal prophesied that Uncle Addison would be a senator someday, maybe even president. He won a scholarship to college, then a month before he was to go he died in a car wreck. His obituary was also in the bottom drawer, folded inside his first report card.
My grandparents rarely spoke of him, for the pain of it. But when I was born, my mother named me for her brother—Samuel Addison. It was a dreadful burden to be named for a dead man, for the longer he was dead the greater he became. It limited my freedom. There was pressure to be like him. I was five years old and people asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told them I wanted to be a cowboy and they looked away in grim disappointment. Except for my grandfather, who told me the world could always use a good cowboy.
My grandfather also kept newspaper pictures of me and my brother Roger, photos published the weeks we were born—a Herald tradition which continues to this day. Children born to a Harmony family get their pictures in the paper. Each week, Bob Miles Jr., editor of the Herald, fills the paper with pictures and articles of people in our town in the hope they’ll buy extra copies and mail them to relatives. Human pride being what it is, we do just that.
The Harmony Herald is delivered free on Friday afternoons to every house and business in town. People read it, but not for the news, which we already know. We read the Herald to see if our names are in it. We scan the society column written by Bob’s wife, Arvella, to see if we’re mentioned. We thumb over to the school news to see whose children made the honor roll. Then we turn to the church news to see what the pastor of the Baptist church is going to preach about that Sunday.
If our names are in the paper, we buy extra copies to send to our relatives. This is how Bob Jr. makes his living, selling extra copies. That, and out-of-town subscriptions. People who grew up here and moved to the city pay thirty dollars a year to remember why they left town in the first place.
Like any town, there are those who can’t wait to move from here.
“To heck with them,” Dale Hinshaw says. “We’re better off without them. Let ’em move to the city and forget their heritage. They’ll be sorry.”
When they come back to town to visit, they don’t seem sorry. They look like they’re having a good time in the city. They come home for Thanksgiving and stay only as long as etiquette requires. This town isn’t for everyone. Just because we like it doesn’t mean it’s the only place worth living. Being grateful for what you have doesn’t give you the right to tear down the choices other people have made. If the city makes them happy, I’m glad for them.
We live in Harmony because we want to be here. Except for Bob Jr., who wishes he had moved away.
When Bob Miles Jr. was a child and the phone rang, his mother would hurry to the kitchen to answer it. She’d stand on her tiptoes and speak into the mouthpiece mounted on the wall, holding the receiver to her ear.
She’d shout hello into the black box. The caller would ask for Bob.
“Bob senior or Bob junior?” she’d clarify. That is how Bob Jr. got his name.
Bob is the fourth Bob in a row in his family. He didn’t want to be a Bob, and he didn’t want to run the Harmony Herald. Bob Jr. wanted to be a foreign correspondent. He has a map of the world on his office wall and a shortwave radio tuned to the BBC. Every evening at eight o’clock he sits in front of the map, puts on his headphones, and listens to the BBC. He dreams of living in Paris. He dreams of war breaking out and the news anchor saying, “Now let’s go to Bob Miles, our foreign correspondent, for a firsthand look at this crisis.”
Sometimes, when he’s all alone, Bob Jr. practices speaking with a British accent, just like the man on the radio.
He stayed home to take over the Herald from his father. Bob Jr. writes about the county fair and church news, eats lunch at the Coffee Cup, and is treasurer for the Optimist Club. But underneath that ordinary existence is fixed that remarkable dream.
Not many people know Bob Jr.’s dream. It’s not the kind of thing you talk about in this town, lest people think you’re uppity for wanting more than Harmony has to offer. If you have aspirations of greatness, you keep them to yourself. The only reason I know Bob’s dream is that when I was asked to be the pastor of Harmony Friends, he was the only one to discourage me.
He told me there was a whole world out there, and advised me not to make the mistake he’d made. “There’s so much more than this little town,” he said. “Don’t get stuck here, Sam. You’ll shrivel up.”
Bob Jr. said it with some bitterness. He’s a disillusioned man, and it’s partly our fault. We are too sensitive and are too easily offended when he writes the truth about us. The truth is stifled in this town. The right to say what we want, work where we want, live where we want, and worship where we want are not inalienable rights in Harmony. We are chained by expectations. Bob Jr. runs the paper because his father, Bob Sr., ran the paper. Bob Sr. inherited the job from his father, Bob Two, who inherited it from the man who started it all, Bob One. This ruled out Bob Jr. becoming a foreign correspondent and living in a flat in Paris.
Bob Jr.’s father is eighty-two years old and a member of the John Birch Society. He phones every week to complain about Bob Jr.’s editorials. Bob Sr.’s editorials used to routinely call for the summary execution of Communists, foreign spies, and certain Democrats. Bob Jr. writes editorials about recycling and the proliferation of billboards. He is a grim disappointment to his father, who wants him to warn against Chinese aggression, Mexican immigration, and certain Harmony town board members who have sold out to the Mafia. Instead, Bob Jr. writes about the high-school graduation and Corn and Sausage Days and three surefire ways to increase your tomato yield.
When Bob Jr. was new to the trade, he took the job seriously. He once attended a town board meeting, tape-recorded the proceedings, and published it word for word in the Herald. This stirred up considerable wrath. It was then he discovered that people weren’t interested in truth as much as they were interested in having their prejudices confirmed. So Bob decided to get out of the news business and confine his reporting to weddings, graduations, church happenings, and gardening. A doomsday cult could poison the New York City water supply and kill a million people, and Bob would write about Bea Majors having Sunday dinner at her sister Opal’s house.
It’s a matter of knowing your readership. Bea Majors visiting her sister’s house was big news since they hadn’t spoken in twenty years after Opal laid claim to their mother’s dining room furniture the day after their mother was buried. But now they’ve forgiven each other and are back to talking. We don’t know anyone in New York City, but we do know Bea and Opal, which makes their reconciliation newsworthy.
It requires a good memory to live in a small town. You have to remember who isn’t talking to whom and why, and who’s on whose side. If you publish the newspaper and make a favorable comment about Opal Majors’s cucumbers, you need to balance it by mentioning Bea’s work in the church. Otherwise there’ll be letters to the editor condemning your blatant bias and ending with the declaration, “Your newspaper no longer speaks for the majority of right-minded citizens. It is therefore with great sadness that I must cancel my subscription.” The fact that the paper is free seems to escape these people.
The most controversial column in the Herald is “The Bobservation Post.” The Herald office sits on the town square. Bob Jr.’s great-grandfather’s desk is stationed at the front window. Bob Jr. thought it might interest his readers to learn what he sees from his window, so every Tuesday he sits at that desk, gazes out the office window, and writes his on-the-scene report, “The Bobservation Post.”
The first Tuesday he looked out his window to see Fern Hampton walking into the bank during school hours. Fern had left her students with a student teacher for the few minutes it would take to go to the bank. She thought she could get away with it, and probably would have if Bob Jr. hadn’t noticed her and mentioned it in his column. Fern almost lost her job and didn’t speak to Bob Jr. for two years, which, according to Bob, was not altogether unpleasant.
You learn over the years that if you have any private business to conduct on the town square, you don’t do it on Tuesday. If you’re a married couple and you visit the attorney, Owen Stout, to draw up a will, you don’t go on Tuesday. Otherwise, Bob Jr. will write in “The Bobservation Post” that he saw you visiting Owen’s office and people will suspect the worse—that your marriage of thirty years has come to an end, or you’ve been sued, or you’ve been arrested for selling drugs and are seeking legal assistance.
When “The Bobservation Post” first came out, it caused much concern and several sharply worded letters to the editor.
“What is happening in this country, when a man can’t even walk down Main Street without being spied on?”
“Big Brother is alive and well in Harmony!”
“Your newspaper no longer speaks for the majority of right-minded citizens. It is therefore with great sadness that I must cancel my subscription.”
Bob Jr. didn’t blink. He printed the First Amendment on the front page of the Herald. In capital letters.
CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW RESPECTING AN ESTABLISHMENT OF RELIGION OR PROHIBITING THE FREE EXERCISE THEREOF; OR ABRIDGING THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH, OR OF THE PRESS; OR THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE PEACEABLY TO ASSEMBLE, AND TO PETITION THE GOVERNMENT FOR A REDRESS OF GRIEVANCES.
Then Bob Jr. wrote an editorial in which he declared, “This town is full of people who stand up on Sunday morning to thank God for their freedom, then get upset when anyone exercises it.”
Bob Sr. called him on the phone and accused him of being a mouthpiece for the Communists. He asked where he’d learned such nonsense.
“The Constitution,” Bob Jr. said. “You ought to read it. There’s all kinds of good ideas in there.” Then he hung up the phone, something he’d always wanted to do.
There’s anger in Bob Jr. and deep cynicism. I can sense it. I’m a little worried about him. It is a burden to spend your life in one place, thinking you’d be happier somewhere else. I pass by his office in the evening and see him in there, staring at his map, listening to the BBC, and feeling trapped. He wants to get away but suspects he never will, that the time for escape has passed.
Once I was hiking through the woods and came upon a fox seized in a trap. The fox had struggled to escape, then had given up and settled in to die. That’s the feeling I have about Bob Jr.
I wish he could see the marvel of this place. I wish Harmony brought him the joy it brings me. But there he sits, night after night, pining for Paris. There’s danger in thinking joy is a matter of location. If we can’t find joy where we are, we probably won’t find it anywhere.
My grandfather taught me that. He didn’t mean to. It just happened. I was a little boy and amid the symphony of his snores, I’d pull a chair up to his chest of drawers and rummage through it. I’d read the Herald clippings and finger the pictures and know I was holding onto happiness.
The leaves of our blessed lives fall to the ground and if we’re wise like my grandfather, we gather them in a pile and keep them safe lest the winds of forgetfulness blow them away.