1. And Furthermore

Another theory gaining favor among top political scientists is that the Age of Trump proves our nation is not ready for self-government.

The Revolution of 1776 was premature (see The Making of the Prefident 1789 for an interesting discussion of this point). Only one third of the people favored the rebellion, while one third supported the king, and one third didn’t know or care.  

And we still aren’t ready: Look how we have gone from electing a Washington, two Adamses, a Jefferson, and a Madison to a Nixon, a Ford, a Clinton, two Bushes, and a Trump who is already telling his followers at campaign rallies he is ready to serve eight, fourteen, twenty-four years, or however long it takes to make America great again.

IMO, we ought to petition the Colonial Office to open negotiations for our return to the Mother Country. With a great dealmaker like Donald Trump, and the empire’s Brexit problems seemingly over, our boy could offer them a deal they couldn’t refuse: to buy them with Continental dollars and make the empire the fifty-second state.

My spies tell me that such an offer would be welcomed by Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who’s been having a helluva time making Brexit actually work. Instead, he could readmit the USA into what’s left of the British Empire.

Trump would welcome the deal. He already owns a golf course or two in Blighty. Once the two countries have merged, he would have a much easier time opening more courses, so he would be eager for such a deal. Indeed, he could become the Right Honorable Minister of Golf representing his own personal rotten borough.  

If this be treason—wanna make something of it?

Marvin Kitman
Pundit in residence
Somewhere in Northern New Jersey
January 2020