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Of all the things that Aerie thought were impossible, sitting around the breakfast table with her mother and her siblings seemed to be one of the most impossible.
Exton said that I was his miracle, and Emery said their god was a god of miracles. Maybe this is one for me? Aerie wondered humorlessly, as Merra finished reintroducing herself to the others.
She sighed as she barely looked at her food. Since she had intercepted that call from Chaya, her life, and her appetite, had never been the same.
Or at least, she decided, her appetite for food had diminished. She thought about Exton, and how she woke up to find he had taken the time to tuck her into the covers before he left earlier. A small smile came to her lips at the memory; while Aerie had woken up from a disconcerting sleep after he left, the knowledge he had seen to her care before he was, she assumed, called away, was touching.
A loud bang on the table jerked her attention away from her thoughts. She glanced up to see Serena had slammed her cup onto the table.
“What are you smiling about?” Serena asked, glaring at her from across the table.
“Nothing,” Aerie muttered, blushing, embarrassed she had been caught daydreaming, and further embarrassed because she had been caught daydreaming about Exton.
“I guess you think this is amusing?” Serena asked. “That having our mother show up out of nowhere after all this time, in the enemy’s base no less, is funny?”
“Why would I think it’s funny?” Aerie asked. “I was just as surprised when I saw her yesterday.”
“You saw her yesterday?” Serena fumed. “You always were her favorite.”
“You know, girls, I’m right here,” Merra said. “And since I’m the adult here—”
“We’re all adults now,” Serena snapped.
“I’m still your mother,” Merra reminded her with a scowl.
“Well, technically, you haven’t been for the last six years,” Cal said, as he continued to wolf down his breakfast. Aerie could tell the shock of seeing his mother again was over, as his hunger returned.
“I have always been your mother,” Merra insisted. “Whether I’ve been around or not.”
“Phoebe is supposed to be our unit director now,” Serena said.
Aerie was surprised to see Merra’s lips tighten bitterly at her statement. “Let’s not talk about her,” she said. “I would rather discuss other things.”
“I guess you can ask Serena why she hasn’t gotten any offers to cohabitate,” Dorian said with a laugh.
“Hey! I’ve gotten plenty of offers,” Serena said back. “I just don’t accept any of them.”
“And they’re all secretly relieved,” Cal said. “They know you’d never make a good unit director.”
“At least I wasn’t breeding material, like Aerie.”
“Maybe it would make you a more pleasant person to deal with,” Dorian said.
“Says the person who can’t even get a girl to look at him, let alone cohabitate.”
Merra glanced over at Aerie as the others continued arguing with each other. “I always wondered why you wanted them to accept you so badly.”
Aerie was suddenly torn between laughing and crying, but she settled for remaining stoic.
When her mother left her as a little girl at the budding age of twelve, Aerie had felt lost. There was some part of her that was glad to have Merra back, especially since she did have a way of helping her see things in a new light. But there was so much more to settle still.
Aerie glanced back at Serena and her brothers, as they continued to give each other dirty looks and make even worse comments.
When she turned back to Merra, she felt an overwhelming amount of warmth in her gaze.
If Aerie had been younger, she might have grinned. Now that she was older, she just stood up and frowned down at her siblings. “Stop it!” she shouted, making the other people sitting at nearby tables glance over. She fought hard not to feel embarrassed, and not to let them see she was uncomfortable.
Aerie lowered her voice. “You guys have to stop it,” she said. “As much you might not like it, you are guests here. Exton can throw you out at any point.”
Serena leaned back. “Great. She’s bringing her boy-toy into this.”
Cal and Dorian laughed.
Aerie frowned. “He is in charge here,” she shot back. “And you’re only here in the first place because I insisted on it. Otherwise, you would still be stuck out in the middle of nowhere with a busted ship.”
“Bravo, my girl,” Merra murmured, as Serena, Cal, and Dorian all glanced away uneasily.
“And you!” Aerie turned on her. “I don’t know what you’ve been doing, or what you think you’re doing, but calling us for breakfast like we’re all still children is wrong. You stepped out of our lives, and we have the right to choose to let you back in. Or not,” she added, lowering her voice some.
Unlike her siblings, Merra didn’t even flinch. She smiled. “That’s fair,” she said.
“Fine.” Aerie felt her face flush over. “Fine. Now, what did you want from us? Director Ward was going to give us work assignments today.”
“I’m okay with skipping that,” Cal muttered.
“You’re lazy,” Dorian said.
“Hey, you can’t blame me for not being excited,” Cal said as he leaned back in his chair. “I didn’t even want to come. I only came because the General told me to follow Brock.”
Aerie turned her full focus on him. “What do you mean, the General told you to follow Brock?”
“I don’t know. I figured the General was probably watching him since he was trying to get you to cohabitate with him,” Cal said, shrugging his shoulders
“That’s why we both came,” Dorian said. “Didn’t you know that?”
Serena huffed. “She wouldn’t. She’s always had us looking out for her, even when she had no idea of what was going on.”
Aerie felt her earlier embarrassment morph into anger. “I don’t need your protection,” she snapped.
“Well, you obviously needed someone to rescue you,” Serena said. “Brock wouldn’t be here otherwise, and neither would any of us.”
“Brock asked you to come!”
“And you know, a long time ago, I was told by our mother—that lady right there, in addition to our father—to watch out for you!” Serena frowned. “You’ve always been protected, and you’ve always been the one stupid enough to get into trouble anyway.”
Aerie thought about how she’d been accidentally captured by Exon’s shuttle the first time, and how she was arrested later on. “I can fight my own battles,” she insisted, pushing past her doubt. “I was trained the same as you were, and I tested higher in combat than anyone else in the family. It’s not my fault that I didn’t make it to military—”
“If you really need to place the blame for that,” Merra said, “you should blame Victor. He didn’t think you would be happy in the military, and he didn’t think you would do well there, either. That’s why he wanted you in Comms Sec.”
“What?!” Aerie swiveled on her. “He did that on purpose?”
“Of course.” Merra sat back and sipped at her tea, smiling over the rim of her cup. “He really does love you, even if you don’t believe it.”
Aerie felt her mouth drop open, as Serena huffed. “It’s not his love we’re here to question. It’s yours.”
Merra nodded, still unfazed by the attacks and accusations leveraged against her. “As Aerie stated, you have the right to believe what you want.”
She’s been expecting this, Aerie realized.
Merra leaned forward. “Let me start by apologizing for deceiving you,” she said. “I know this is a shock, and I know this is not the best time for this, with the world at war and everything.”
“You think?” Serena scoffed.
“My reason, not defense, for such a move has a lot to do with the situation the world is in,” Merra said. “I have been working to undermine the URS for many years now.”
Aerie felt another rush of shock at the revelation; the identical look of shock on her twin brothers’ faces seemed to indicate they were experiencing a similar reaction.
Serena, on the other hand, stood up. “I knew it!”
“You always were the most intuitive,” Merra said with a glowing smile. “I wasn’t surprised to hear you were put in the medical field. You’ll make a good doctor one day.”
It was Serena’s turn to blush, but she held still. “I won’t be flattered into doing what you want me to.”
Aerie was about to say that their mother had only wanted to meet them for breakfast when Merra interrupted her.
“You don’t even know what it is that I want,” Merra said. “You might be interested. Fighting along with the defectors and the resistance movement would be good for you. And you, too, boys,” she said, turning her attention to the twins. “I have a few fighters that you could easily pilot.”
Cal and Dorian exchanged glances. Aerie knew they were both disconcerted with the idea, even if they both loved to fly.
“What about Brock?” she asked, trying to buy them time.
Merra shrugged. “I haven’t met with him yet,” she said, dismissing the concern. “I’d like to, frankly, since I have a few questions for him, especially where it concerns you, Aerie.”
“Shouldn’t you be more worried about Captain Chainsword?” Serena growled.
“No, I like him.” Merra gave Aerie a wink. “And I think he’s well suited for her.”
Aerie frowned, fighting off another round of embarrassment. “I don’t want to talk about him with you,” she snapped. “I don’t want to talk about him with any of you. I’ve told you the truth, and that’s all you need to know about him.”
“I disagree,” Serena said.
“What, are you jealous?” Dorian asked. He shrugged. “Aerie’s in love with a terrorist, let her be in love with a terrorist.”
“He’s not the bad guy!” Aerie said. “He’s trying to protect the world.”
“Aerie’s right,” Merra asserted. “Do you think in the last eighty or so years of the URS rule, they’ve really made life better for their people? They’ve really only found an effective means of controlling them, and their overconfidence has finally shown their weakness.”
“The URS isn’t perfect,” Serena said through clenched teeth. “But this idea that overthrowing them is somehow a better option is just illogical.”
“That’s why Petra is here,” Merra said. “You haven’t been here long, but surely you can see that the system they have in place here works.”
“They’re buying goods on a black market,” Serena said. “And they’re using people inside the URS to betray their nation.”
“People don’t work in collectives very well,” Merra said. “It’s been a downside to the URS tribal conditioning for years.”
“Their system might work for a population this small, maybe,” Dorian said. “But for the world? I doubt it would work.”
“The URS hasn’t even conquered the world, despite their attempts,” Merra said. “If it weren’t for all the nuclear fallout from before the creation of the Revolutionary States, they wouldn’t even have what they do.”
“Well, what does work?” Cal asked. “So far, the rest of the world has some catching up to do. Like it or not, the URS is still the best place in the world to be.”
“That’s propaganda at its finest,” Merra said, rolling her eyes. “We can go back to a republic system.”
“Republics don’t work.” Serena leaned over the table. “They’ve only worked for a couple of times, and then, for only a few hundred years at a time.”
“The URS has only been in power for about eighty,” Merra argued back. “And it’s already breaking down.”
“That’s because of people like you,” Serena insisted. “People who want to do their own thing and won’t listen to rational arguments.”
“First, people are able to rationalize just about anything, including the brainwashing of populations. Second, there’s more to life than reason,” Merra said. “Call it luck or fate or miracles, there’s more than enough evidence to suggest that being completely rational doesn’t work, either.”
“Human beings are rationale creatures. We seek out order.”
“Human beings are also irrational creatures,” Merra argued back. “We are also incapable of keeping order.”
“Forcing order is better.”
“Better than what? Acknowledging our shortcomings and finding a system that will check individual as well as group influence?”
“Stop,” Aerie cried, interrupting. “That’s enough. We’re not getting anywhere.” She turned to face her mother. “We’re here because you wanted to see us. I’ve made up my mind. I’m leaving, and the others need to come with me. Director Ward will be looking for us soon.”
“Wait.” Merra stood up. “Just give me another few moments.”
“To say what?” Aerie asked. “You’ve already told us you were working against the URS. That’s enough of a reason to fake your death and leave us behind, isn’t it?”
Her tone was scathing, and Aerie was satisfied to see Merra wince.
“I know that’s what it seems like,” Merra said. “But I’m telling you the truth. I worked to shuffle a lot of the research in the horticulture department out to Chaya, where we have continued research. You want to know why Exton started fighting with us? Because I convinced him we could finally win if we supported each other.”
“You?” Aerie felt the breath rush out of her.
“You’re the leader of the defectors?” Cal asked, while Dorian’s hand flew up to cover his dropped jaw.
“There are several leaders, and several different factions around the world that are defectors,” Merra said. “But I’m one of them. I lead Chaya’s forces.”
“Can you dimwits see it? She’s always been the enemy,” Serena said darkly. “Phoebe told me that she was under a lot of scrutiny, so that’s why it was better she died.”
“What?” Aerie frowned. “Phoebe never said that.”
“She never said it to you,” Serena said. “She knew you were the one who was most like Mom. Phoebe doesn’t tell you anything, or even do anything for you, unless she has to because of that. And that’s also why when the General warned us not to let anything happen to you, we figured it was a smart move to protect our unit.”
“And even then, you managed to go and ruin everything, dragging Brock and then us into it,” Dorian added. Aerie was about to round on him when he smiled. “I guess we should’ve been watching you more closely. You’re more of a force to be reckoned with than I imagined.”
Cal huffed. “Yeah, really.”
Their admiration, even if it was reluctantly given, left Aerie even more speechless.
She was saved from responding when she heard a familiar voice behind her.
“I’m here, Merra.”
Aerie glanced up, surprised to see Alice suddenly standing next to Merra. “Alice!” she cried happily, jumping up out of her seat at the sight of her coworker and her friend. “You’re here.”
“Hi Aerie,” Alice replied. She gave her a polite nod. “I heard that you’d arrived here. I’m glad to see the rumors were true.”
Aerie grinned, but before she could ask Alice about anything else, she noticed Alice was holding the hand of a small boy.
“Who’s that?” Aerie asked. “Your little brother or something?”
“No,” Alice said. “He’s your little brother.”
Aerie felt her legs back into the table, and she scrambled to sit down. She glanced over at Merra. “Mom?” she asked.
Merra nodded. “This is Marcus,” she said. “When I left you, I was close to a month pregnant.”
“But ... you already have four kids,” Serena said, her voice full of confusion.
Merra nodded. “I know. Turns out, sometimes the body can heal from the URS’s sterilization methods.”
“So that’s the real reason you left,” Aerie said. “You didn’t want to give Marcus up.”
“It would have been impossible to hide him,” Merra said quietly. “And you know how much the government is willing to allow for mistakes.”
“The downfall of freedom is that people can make bad choices,” Aerie murmured.
Merra took Marcus into her arms. “He’s four years old right now,” she said, as Cal and Dorian came over to get a closer look. “But I’ve told him stories about you all his life. He’s been looking forward to meeting you.”
Aerie saw even Serena was curiously staring at the surprise addition to their family.
“Hi,” the small boy said, looking just as intrigued by the people around the table as they were about him.
“Hi,” Aerie replied, automatically smiling. So that was why Mom left us. To fight the URS and save her baby.
She knew enough about the sterilization laws to know Merra was right; there would have been no way to save Marcus had she tried to stay. He would have been terminated as soon as they found out about him.
But why didn’t she tell me? Aerie wondered. Didn’t she trust me?
That seemed to be the running theme throughout her life. Her unit had worked to protect her, from her father and her mother all the way down to her siblings. Even Claire had mentioned that they needed to watch her because she didn’t seem capable of taking care of herself. And then there was Exton, who told her on the Perdition he didn’t want to trust her, even if he was tempted to.
But he trusts me now, Aerie recalled. Maybe that was something—a sign that things were going to change.
She smiled as Marcus reached out for her, and she realized that things were already changing.
As she held her brother for the first time, Aerie decided that she could understand her mother’s actions, even if she wasn’t ready to forgive her completely. But Exton is right, she thought. I probably will forgive her.
“Aerie,” Marcus said.
“What is it?” she asked.
“That’s you.”
Aerie giggled. “Yep, that’s me.”
Marcus backed away from her. “I want our mommy back now.”
“Alright.” Aerie gave him a smile as she handed him back to Merra, who looked at her with pride.
“I might not have been the best mother to you, Aerie,” Merra told her quietly, “but I think you’ll make a good one yourself.” She grinned. “If that’s what Exton wants, too, of course. A strong marriage helps make a strong family.”
“Mom.” Aerie flushed over again, but this time she felt less embarrassed and more emboldened.
Before she could further respond, a siren started going off.
Instantly, the other residents started to move, many of them standing up and leaving their food behind.
Aerie flinched at the high-pitched sound, wishing it was as acceptable for her to place her hands over her ears as it was for Marcus.
Before she could ask what was happening, Merra took charge. “We have to get to the shelter, now.”
When they all failed to move, she glowered down at them, reminding Aerie of the few times she’d seen her mother get angry when they were younger.
“I said, now!” she yelled, already turning toward the exit. “Move!”
Aerie snapped to attention and hurried after her.
The instant she was out of the commissary, she felt a hand grab her.
It was Brock. “Come with me,” he said.
Aerie glanced back to see Merra and the others were still headed down the hall. No one noticed Brock had begun to pull her toward the hangar. “What’s going on?”
“We’re leaving.”
Aerie struggled to break free. “I’m supposed to follow them.”
“I know you don’t want to lose them. But if you really want to save them, you’ll come with me.”
“What are you talking about?” Aerie asked, taking another step back from him.
Brock’s hazel eyes, once so kind and capable, turned dark. “The URS is on their way here.”
Aerie narrowed her eyes. “How do you know?”
“Why else would alarms be going off?” Brock asked, gesturing to the flood of people running around them.
“It could be a drill.” Aerie felt like kicking herself for how weak her argument sounded.
“No.” Brock shook his head. “I was worried about this. The URS has picked up on your signal.”
“Signal?”
Brock lowered his gaze. “Serena told me while you were asleep in the ship,” he said, “that you had something strange in your blood. I remembered later that all those who are admitted for reeducation are tagged and a tracer is placed inside of them. I didn’t get a chance to tell you before ... before we were distracted by everything, with the Craftcarriers and then with Captain Chainsword.”
Aerie felt the blood drain out of her face as Brock reached out and took her hand. Turning it over, he ran his fingers over the small, rubber bumps on her wrist, the ones that were branded into her skin. “There,” he said. “There’s a tracker underneath this that’s welded into your skin and bloodstream.”
Aerie felt her knees buckle. “I did this,” she whimpered, looking around as the sirens continued to flash. Outside, she could hear activity in the hangar as ships were getting readied. “They’re going to kill everyone here. And it’ll be all my fault.”
“Come with me,” Brock said. He tugged her to her feet. “You know I’m a good pilot. I can take you out of this place, and then the URS will follow. Come on.”
He started to lead her toward the hangar, and Aerie stumbled along behind him.
What should I do? What’s going to happen?
Suddenly, she stopped.
“What’s wrong?” Brock asked.
“I don’t know,” Aerie said slowly. She looked back in the direction where her family had gone. “I think we should tell the others first.”
“You’ll only waste time,” Brock warned her.
“I’m not sure this will work.”
“Yes, it will,” he insisted. “Please, Aerie. It’s me, Brock. We’ve been friends for years. You know you can trust me. I know you’re not in love with me, but I’ve known you for a long time, and you’ve only known this Exton guy for what? Three weeks? A month? Are you really going to believe him over everything you’ve known and lived for since you were born?”
Aerie looked up at Brock, feeling helpless. She had no way of explaining to him just how much Exton had changed her life without hurting him.
“He told me the truth,” Aerie finally said. “It doesn’t matter what I knew before if it wasn’t the truth.”
Brock tightened his grip on her. “Aerie, I feel like I’ve lost you.”
“I don’t feel like I’m lost,” Aerie replied. “I feel ... I feel almost like I’ve been found.” Something had changed, she realized. Something had changed since she found herself on the Perdition, and even though she couldn’t fully explain it, she knew it was a change in the right direction. It wasn’t just Exton, or his family, or even his cause. It was something else, something more, and she could not explain that to Brock.
“If I can’t change your mind about this,” Brock said, “I have no other choice.”
Aerie gave him a tentative smile. “Thank you for letting me make my own decision about this, Brock. I know it has to be hard for—”
Her words were cut off when Brock’s fist shot out as he began attacking her.