Eleven

Feminine Pathway:
Your Sacred Power

Related Chakras: All seven, but the second/sacral, fourth/heart, and sixth/third eye are emphasized

Energies: Flow, energy movement and connection, change, transition, wholeness, feminine power and aspects, manifesting

Use For: Life transitions, manifesting ideas, balance between chakras, postmenstruation, fertility support, postpartum, perimenopause, post pregnancy loss, posthysterectomy, precursor to sex, or anytime to connect with feminine power

Your feminine energy is exquisite and powerful. When it is fully activated, your inner beauty is fully on display. As women we are bombarded by outlandish ideas of beauty, all physically based. The kind of beauty I am talking about is a glow, a dynamism, a centeredness, and perhaps a charisma that emanates from a woman when she is in her feminine power. It is indefinable, and yet you know it—and are likely drawn to it—when you see it. It has nothing to do with whether a woman has symmetrical cheekbones, a wrinkle-
free forehead, toned abs, or even a bright aura (although feminine power certainly shines through our aura). Her Feminine Pathway is alight, plain and simple.

These last two Chakra Empowerments, Feminine Pathway and Rainbow Abundance, are culminating Empowerments in that they both utilize all seven chakras we have been working with. However, Feminine Pathway is the culmination of Women’s Energetics Empowerment because it focuses primarily on the flow between our feminine, or yin, pathway chakras—the second/sacral, fourth/heart, and sixth/third eye. It differs from the other Empowerments in that it isn’t designed to be used on the spot or as needed. Instead, it is an Empowerment designed to support you during particular phases of your life—transitional periods and/or when you are working to manifest an idea. To use it in these ways, you will activate it daily for a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, depending on the phase.

The Feminine Pathway differs in other ways. Because it is based in Women’s Energetics, it is particularly useful during reproductive-related transitions—those tied to our cycles and phases. It also has an upward and downward version. You will build the visual you see in the image one infinity symbol (∞) or figure 8 at a time—from the bottom up to empower your upward pathway, and from the top down to empower your downward pathway.

The upward pathway is associated with personal growth and spiritual development. Many spiritual traditions with practices based on the chakras focus on bringing the kundalini energy up from the root chakra to the crown to facilitate spiritual realization. This Empowerment is not specifically designed for that, although it does trigger this upward flow as it relates to personal change and shifting into a new “version” of yourself. Whenever we undergo big transitions in our life—a new job, marriage, a new child, divorce, a move—we are called upon to adjust. We can dig our feet in and resist, or we can go with the flow and grow as a result. Often as we adjust, we will be asked to develop new skills or call upon parts of ourselves we hadn’t been aware of before. In a sense, we “upgrade” almost like an upgraded software version of ourselves.

At other times we feel as if we are actually going backward. Facing divorce, illness, or job loss certainly doesn’t feel like an upgrade. And for your day-to-day life, it may not be. Inwardly, any situation can foster personal insight, the development of new wisdom, the discovery of new resources within yourself, and more. It can become an inward turning point. In this sense the upward variation of the Feminine Pathway can help support you in whatever type of transition you are experiencing—one you have chosen and are looking forward to, or one you have not and are suffering through.

While the upward Feminine Pathway is about transition, the downward version is about manifesting—specifically, the kind of manifesting we do when we seek to make an idea we have into reality. Think of planting a sapling—you create a hole in the earth, plant the roots, and support them with water until they take root. Whether your idea is for a business, a product, a book, a home, an event, or something more abstract, it starts in your head (or becomes conscious there) and needs to be brought down into reality, the earth. The downward Feminine Pathway supports you when you are in a phase of your life in which you are manifesting in this way.

Thus far, our focus has been on single-Chakra Empowerments, or in the case of the Second Skin and Healing Rays, two-Chakra Empowerments. But the flow and balance between chakras is just as important. If one chakra is overdeveloped and another underdeveloped, or if you have blocks in one that keep energy from flowing, it affects the entire flow—in other words, it has an impact on both your ability to bring about and process change (upward flow), and your ability to manifest an idea (downward flow). Something gets stuck. The Feminine Pathway is designed to help you get unstuck—to get your energy moving.

The Feminine Pathway also helps with stabilizing and balancing the flow between your chakras when they have been triggered into lots of movement on their own. This happens when we are thrust into sudden change and are forced to adapt quickly. Of course sometimes what you need in this case is the Root Bowl to stabilize (especially if you have experienced trauma), but if you feel instead as if you need to catch up to what is happening rather than ground, the Feminine Pathway can be more helpful. Sometimes, too, such changes may trigger energetic instability—erratic bursts of energy in our energy body—and in this case the Feminine Pathway can help to smooth them. Perimenopause is an example of a time in our life when bursts like this can occur spontaneously, and the Feminine Pathway can help to stabilize us.

Alicia was in her early forties and had just completed treatment for cancer, including surgery to remove her uterus, cervix, ovaries, and fallopian tubes. Her prognosis was good, but she was struggling with the feeling that she had lost part of what defined her as a woman. She and her longtime partner Tracy had never wanted children, so she did not have regrets about losing that capability. Still, some part of her felt an essential piece of herself had been lost. She also had been plunged into menopause quickly as a result of her surgery, and although she was on hormonal treatments, she was experiencing mood swings, night sweats, and difficulty sleeping. In addition, Alicia really wanted to change careers. She felt the stress of her job as a sales rep for a pharmaceutical firm had contributed to her cancer, and she wanted to shift to something less stressful and that she felt more passionate about, but she wasn’t sure what.

A yoga practitioner, Alicia was also familiar with the chakras and in fact had done prior chakra work. She thought maybe losing her uterus and ovaries had affected her connection to her sacral chakra and wanted to work there. I suggested we work with the Feminine Pathway, since it addressed several energetic needs of Alicia’s at once: empowering her sacral chakra as she wanted and also empowering her entire Feminine Pathway, helping her connect with her sense of her feminine power again. In addition, it would support her desire for change in her career and smooth the tumult of her sudden transit into menopause. Alicia agreed to try the Feminine Pathway daily for two weeks.

Doing so had a big impact on Alicia. On the physical level, she began to sleep much better. Something else unexpected happened, too—Alicia felt drawn to doing ceramics again, something she used to do regularly as a hobby but gave up due to time constraints. She had rented studio space over the weekend and created a simple pot but told me she had felt calmer and happier during that time than during any other activity for months.

As we talked, Alicia decided to regularly commit to doing ceramics and perhaps take a new class. She realized that part of what was missing from her life was a creative outlet and felt that working with the Feminine Pathway had helped her reconnect to this. Ceramics was in fact one of the main ways she expressed her sacral chakra energy, and she needed to bring it forth more often.

Alicia continued with her Feminine Pathway work daily, and ceramics work weekly. To support her healing, we also worked with other Empowerments including Healing Rays and Root Bowl for anxiety. In addition, Alicia worked with her doctor and a herbalist; in time her hormones and energy body stabilized and her physical symptoms subsided. She realized she wanted to work in a hands-on healing field. She had originally gone into pharmaceutical sales as a temporary stepping stone to working in the health field but had forgotten this intention. Now she was ready to bring her life into alignment with her true desires. Alicia went back to school to become a physical therapist, and also obtained training in reiki, which she incorporated into her work with patients.

Although Alicia’s menopausal symptoms were brought on suddenly by her surgery, what she was experiencing is a common occurrence during this time. Alicia thought she was feeling disconnected from her feminine power because of the loss of her uterus and ovaries, but in fact she was not in alignment with her true desires for her life. She had lost touch with both her creative and healing sides, both aspects of the sacral chakra. Her hormonal shifts had exacerbated this, as perimenopause frequently triggers energy surges that need to be smoothed out with a tool like the Feminine Pathway. Working on both flow and her feminine chakras with the Feminine Pathway helped her reawaken to her true desires and take action to bring her life into alignment with them.

Activation Steps

This walkthrough is based on the upward version of the Feminine Pathway. I’ve provided instructions at the end for the downward pathway, which is simply the reverse—you will start at the top and work your way downward instead of upward. You may sit or stand during this process; either way, swaying side to side along with the arm movement may be helpful.

Prep your audio file if you are using it, and study the visual before you begin. Note that it is composed of four infinity symbols/figure 8s that you will be drawing in the air with your index finger in front of your body one at a time while imagining the light flowing in this pattern inside your energy body.

Step 1: If you are standing, plant your feet firmly, hip-distance apart. If you are sitting, align your spine. Take a few deep breaths and center yourself.

Step 2: Take the index finger of your dominant hand (whichever you write with) and draw a figure eight, or an infinity symbol, in the air in front of you. Accustom yourself to this shape and motion. Sway back and forth along with the swirling motion if you like.

Step 3: Now turn your hand around and point this finger toward the ground and your lower body. Begin to draw this infinity symbol connecting the earth with your sacral chakra. At the bottom of your “eight” you point toward the earth, perhaps even touch it if you are sitting, and at the top of your 8 you point directly at your sacral chakra, between your hip bones (you do not need to touch your body). Imagine the eight midpoint crosses at the approximate height of your root chakra. Visualize a powerful flow of red-gold light, like liquid flame, mirroring the movement of your finger inside your body, connecting your sacral chakra with the earth, and crossing at your root chakra (check the image if you are not sure what I mean).

Stay with this visual for two to three minutes, or longer if you like—long enough to feel as if you have the energy flowing. If your arm gets tired, you can rest it and simply visualize the energy flow, or you can switch arms.

Step 4: When you feel ready, move your hand up and begin to draw the symbol connecting your sacral chakra and heart chakra, crossing at your navel chakra. Visualize the red-gold light flowing in this pattern inside your body, connecting your sacral with your heart through your navel. Sit with this visual and energy for two to three minutes or as long as you like.

Step 5: When you feel ready, move your hand up and draw the figure eight connecting your heart with your third eye, crossing at your throat chakra. Again, you’re doing this figure eight in front of your face and chest with your finger pointed at you, and inside your body you’re visualizing the red-gold light flowing in the same pattern. Stay here for two to three minutes or as long as you like (rest your arm as needed, and just do the visual, or change arms).

Step 6: Finally, move your finger up and draw the red-gold figure 8 connecting your third eye with the sky, crossing at your crown chakra. The top of your 8 points to the sky, the bottom is in your third eye, and it crosses even with your crown. See the red-gold light swirling in this way.

Step 7: Now put your arm down and try to visualize all four of these 8s/infinity symbols, all four swirling flows of red-gold liquid flame light, at once. Earth to sacral chakra crossing at your root, sacral to heart chakra crossing at your navel, heart chakra to third eye crossing at your throat, and third eye to the sky crossing at your crown. Really feel and imagine these swirls of powerful gold and red light moving inside your body in these patterns. Sway back and forth if you like, and focus on the feminine energy awakening and swirling within all of your feminine pathway centers.

Step 8: Focus on the feeling as you say each affirmation:

My power flows freely.

I am fluid and strong.

I am connected to earth and sky.

I am whole and complete.

If you like, you can add a brief visual at this point related to the adjustment you are trying to make, or the idea you are manifesting. For example, if you are adjusting to a new job, picture yourself successful and happy in it. If you are adjusting to a new baby, picture yourself holding him or her, both of you looking happy and healthy. If you are using the downward path to manifest an idea, visualize your end goal—your idea manifested in reality.

Step 9: When you feel ready, take a snapshot memory and then let the visual dissolve. Sit and breathe quietly for a few minutes.

Downward Path: If you are using this to empower the downward path, reverse the order in which you create the connections of the chakras in your figure 8s. First connect the sky to your third eye crossing at the crown, then the third eye to heart crossing at the throat, then the heart to sacral crossing at the solar plexus, and then the sacral to the earth. Still speak the affirmations at the end when the entire pathway has been activated. If you like, you can visualize your completely manifested idea at this point if this is relevant.

If your arm gets tired during the activation, you can switch arms and focus on the visual, but don’t ever visualize a static 8 or infinity symbol—the movement of the energy is important.

The Feminine Pathway generates a lot of energy. You may want to sit afterward and allow it to process for a couple of minutes before you move out into the world. You may also find that doing some stretching is helpful, or doing the Feminine Pathway right before exercise so that you can stabilize this energy physically.

Using the Feminine Pathway

If you are in a phase of your life in which you would like to use the Feminine Pathway, activate it in a private space for at least ten minutes daily. You can use it longer if you like and don’t feel overwhelmed, but it is hard at first to get much flow going in less than ten minutes. Approach it like a daily meditation—at the same time and place every day, preferably first thing in the morning or as close as you can to it. If that’s not realistic, it’s OK, and it’s fine if you miss a day—work with what fits your circumstances.

Use the upward pathway when you want to bring about change in your life or are undergoing change that you need help adjusting to. The change may be something you chose or it may not. Above all, making use of the upward pathway for this purpose will help get you unstuck in your relationship to this change. You will begin to see new potential in your changed circumstances, glean lessons or insights, or have new ideas for how to adjust. However, it isn’t a healing or emotional balancing Empowerment. If you feel as though you are in crisis or need emotional support or healing, seek support for it (it may include using other relevant Chakra Empowerments), but hold off on using the Feminine Pathway until you feel emotionally stable.

If you are working toward manifesting an idea, activate with the downward version. There are other kinds of manifesting, of course; sometimes when we say “manifesting” we actually mean “attract”: a new partner, a new job, a new opportunity. We’ll talk about your chakras in relation to this kind of manifesting, attraction-manifesting, in the next chapter. The downward Feminine Pathway is the most useful for manifesting ideas—making something you have thought of real. In this case, as I mentioned in the activation steps, you can add a visual of your end goal after the affirmations.

Sometimes it is hard to know which direction of the Feminine Pathway you want to use. If you leave your job to start your own business, you are undergoing a huge change and manifesting an idea. In this case, you can do the Feminine Pathway both directions if you like, five minutes upward and five minutes downward. Or you can rotate days—upward one day and downward the next.

You can also use the Feminine Pathway in combination with another Chakra Empowerment when you feel that one chakra is overdominating or overexpressing in your life. For example, you might feel as if you are locked into controlling navel chakra tendencies, or overtalking Throat Matrix tendencies—in these cases there is an imbalance between your chakras, with one dominating all of the others. For this you would use both the Empowerment of the chakra you feel is overexpressed and the Feminine Pathway, one after the other. The single-Chakra Empowerments are not just for strengthening a chakra, they also are for balancing it—for bringing it into its purest, highest expression. Following this up with the Feminine Pathway will help to redistribute the flow and balance between chakras.

Women’s Energetics:
Working with Your Cycles and Phases

Linked to our sacral chakra, and thus our reproductive cycles, the Feminine Pathway is also a tool for change, perfect for use with our reproductive phases and cycles, which are about transition. Before menopause, our body transitions each month from ovulating to menstruating, and our sacral chakra from an outward-facing to an inward-pulling energy. Our sacral transitions during pregnancy from this regular inward/outward cycle to empowering and nourishing our womb. And postpregnancy we transition to a return to this cycle and (if relevant) energetically supporting our baby outside our body. Our body transitions to no longer having this cycle in perimenopause, and our sacral chakra becomes liberated from this cycle to express even more powerfully … if we approach this transition with that intention.

All of these transitions are perfect times to use one or both versions of the Feminine Pathway. Here is how you would do so:

• Postmenstruation: On the last day of your period (or your best guess), and for the two to three days after it ends, activate the upward Feminine Pathway for a few minutes each morning. This will help smooth your body’s transition to its outward-facing mode and help you process and integrate your inward-facing phase. As mentioned in the Second Skin chapter, the days during our period are our most sensitive, and often our most intuitive and insightful if we can tune in to this. Using the Feminine Pathway as you emerge from these days will help you to integrate whatever emerged for you during this time.

• Fertility: To energetically encourage pregnancy, you can activate the downward Feminine Pathway in the days leading up to your ovulation and during it. You can also activate the Sacral Lotus during this time. What I often recommend to women who would like energetic support when trying to get pregnant is to do the Sacral Lotus for a few minutes every day all month and to add the Feminine Pathway afterward during the few days before and during ovulation.

• Postpartum: Use the upward Feminine Pathway whenever you can in the months after pregnancy to help you get your mojo back. As we’ve already discussed, there is also an energy line adjustment going on, in addition to the eventual return of your cycle. The upward Feminine Pathway will help to smooth the way for all of this adjustment. This is of course not a treatment for postpartum depression, and you should consult your doctor or midwife if you are energetically struggling beyond what you feel is your normal limit. If you are already in treatment for post-partum depression, however, the Feminine Pathway can aid your recovery. Be sure you are getting the support and engaging in the self-care you need.

• Pregnancy Loss or Termination: The upward Feminine Pathway is also best for this, although pay attention to your other needs at this time as well. Perhaps you also need the Sacral Lotus, Healing Rays, and/or Heart Star to help heal your body and process your emotions. Self-care and support are also critical at this time.

• Perimenopause: Perimenopause can last months or years. Some women experience hardly any symptoms, others experience many. Whether you will benefit most from the upward or downward Feminine Pathway partly depends upon your symptoms, and even that may change during this time. With either direction, you will benefit from the focus on flow between the chakras, because often during this time we experience energetic bursts in one chakra or another as our body transitions to an irregular cycle and eventually to not having one at all. The Feminine Pathway in either direction helps to smooth these bursts.

The downward Feminine Pathway will be the most helpful for physical symptoms such as insomnia, increased anxiety, night sweats, restless legs, or headaches (as always, see a health care practitioner too). This is because the downward pathway culminates in the earth and thus anchors and grounds the uptick of energy and bursts that on a subtle body level are linked to these symptoms. The upward pathway is more helpful for psychological processing; if you are struggling to adjust to the idea of being in perimenopause, seeking or experiencing big changes in your life at this time (as is common), or seeking to consciously enter into this phase of your life as a “wise woman.” If you are experiencing all of the above, it’s fine to do both directions daily or rotate. Follow your intuition—this is partly what it means to transition into this phase of your life.

• Posthysterectomy (Uterine and/or Cervix Removal) or Postsalpingo-
oophorectomy (Ovary/Fallopian Tube Removal): Posthysterectomy, consider working with the upward Feminine Pathway to affirm the continued flow of energy between your sacral chakra and the rest of your energy body. If you still have a cycle but it has become irregular, you can still work with both directions of the pathway according to the guidelines above for menstruation. If both ovaries have been removed and you are thrust into menopause quickly, you may want to work with both directions of the pathway using the guidelines from above based on any menopausal symptoms you are experiencing. Either way, you may also benefit from Sacral Lotus activation to affirm and empower your sacral chakra apart from the physical organs to which it was once linked. And don’t forget Healing Rays for postsurgery healing help.

Most importantly, remember that your sacral chakra, and your entire Feminine Pathway, are fully intact—they are not dependent upon your reproductive organs, although you may need time to reconnect in a new way to this energy as your body adjusts. Attend to your emotional needs—both the psychological and hormonal transition may take a toll that needs to be acknowledged and processed. Know that your feminine power is as potent as ever, with the potential to become even more so.

As with all the Empowerments in this book, trust your intuition. Utilizing the Empowerments isn’t about picking the “perfect” one each time; it’s about knowing you have multiple options and you have the power to bring forth the energy you need. It is all inside you, waiting to be unlocked. If you are not sure what Empowerment to use, go with your favorite—since feeling is essential to activation, if you work with your favorite, you will likely connect more deeply, and however you are accessing your energy body is better than not activating it at all. You have much more wisdom inside you than you realize; connecting with your energy body in any way will help you to bring it forth.

There is one more use of the upward Feminine Pathway you can experiment with, as a precursor to, and even during, sex. Sex is of course about much more than physical connection and orgasm—it is about an energetic intimacy, and even union. This is a whole body and whole energy-body experience, and for women, a strong Feminine Pathway can enhance these deeper aspects. We receive our partner through our sacral (regardless of the gender of your partner or your position), we join with them in love through our hearts, and we experience oneness with them through our third eyes merging. The Feminine Pathway helps activate all three. In general, use the Feminine Pathway the way you would for all of the other uses I have mentioned: daily for a period of time, and see if you experience any shifts in your lovemaking. You can also activate it right before or even during sex, although this will take practice. As you orgasm, imagine the energy flowing up your Feminine Pathway (and of course, you do not need a partner to practice orgasming in this way). Sacred sexuality is a vast subject with many different traditions and techniques, far beyond the scope of this book, but experimenting with the Feminine Pathway in this way will initiate you into the deeper aspects of sex, if you are interested in exploring them.

Lacey was energetically struggling postpartum. A trained intuitive and naturopath, she combined the two skills in her successful client practice business. She was also on a serious spiritual path and had meditated daily for years (including chakra meditation), so she was used to experiencing the rise of her kundalini as she did so. She was also used to experiencing many of her client intuitions visually as she was an adept third eye intuitive. In short, Lacey had highly developed third eye and crown chakras but was also grounded and balanced in her life, as demonstrated by her successful business and overall lifestyle.

Despite bonding well with her daughter and feeling thrilled to be a mother, Lacey felt as if her own energy body had “crashed” into her lower chakras. She described energetically feeling like a pear—her lower chakras were heavy and bloated but her upper chakras were empty. She could not focus well in meditation and was not experiencing visual intuitions. All of this was causing her great anxiety; she was now four months postpartum and worried that she wouldn’t regain her skills, which would negatively affect her business and spiritual growth. She was also not the least bit interested in sex with her husband—not uncommon for women postpartum, but she had always viewed sex as a spiritual and energetic experience in addition to a physical form of intimacy, so she and her husband missed that connection.

I talked to Lacey about the new energy line she was now managing with her daughter and how adjusting to this line in her sacral would take some time, but she would be successful and her daughter’s need for her energy would lessen as she grew. We worked with the Web of Light so that Lacey could begin to feel that it was OK for her to close this line when needed for her own self-care and still emanate love and nurturing from her heart toward her baby—all that was needed most of the time. I then suggested she do the Feminine Pathway daily so that she could begin to tap into her sacral and feminine energy in a new way, and to move her energy upward into her upper chakras again.

Lacey worked with both Empowerments for several weeks on her own and had many insights. The first was how often she was sending energy through her mother-child line and keeping it open, even when she did not need to, e.g., when her baby was well-cared for with her husband or her mother in the next room. She was not allowing herself to relax into her own energetic integrity, and this was adding to her feelings of being scatterbrained and fatigued. By consciously closing the line in situations like this, especially when meditating, she felt an immediate shift in her ability to focus and move her energy upward again. This realization also helped her reconnect with her husband sexually, as she realized she had felt so drained she had resisted connecting with him energetically because of it.

Lacey also began to realize that she was having intuitions but the way they presented themselves to her was changing—she was feeling things more in her body, not necessarily seeing them visually. Although she was not yet back to working, a friend had come over and Lacey had sensed rather than seen a dietary imbalance contributing to his health issues; she was able to suggest changes and supplements to him … and they had worked! She began opening up to the idea that her energy body and corresponding gifts had changed—not disappeared—so she began exploring how.

Lacey returned to work when her daughter was six months old and found that she experienced both visual and bodily intuitions. In fact, with time she felt more confident in her work than ever. She was confident and happy too in her mothering and her daughter’s development. Her meditations changed, and in fact became more enriching as she began to understand the idea of spiritual embodiment in a new way and to feel connected to others through her heart even more deeply.

All of our reproductive shifts trigger profound changes in our energy body, and at times they can feel overwhelming and detrimental. However, whether you are dealing with PMS, postpartum drain, perimenopause, or something else, understanding your feminine energy body and how to work with it will help you not only survive these shifts but grow and thrive because of them. Like our physical body, our energy body is profound and powerful in its cycles and phases—owning this wisdom will help you to come into your own.

Sexual Trauma Healing:
Transitioning to a New Framework

In many ways, owning and empowering your Feminine Pathway is the culmination of healing from sexual abuse or assault because it is about owning your femaleness as a source of strength and a gift. If you have related to your body (and by extension your energy body) as a liability, a source of shame, or “damaged goods,” the Feminine Pathway will help you release these false beliefs and the associated emotional patterns once and for all. Conversely, if you have internalized sexual objectification where you think your body is all you are and your worth is tied solely to your sexual desirability, the Feminine Pathway will help you to embrace your other levels—energetic, psychological, and spiritual.

As part of an overall energetic healing process, in most cases you will want to work with some of the other Chakra Empowerments first to help release and heal primary energetic and emotional wounds, to help you feel ready to bring all of your chakras together when working with the Feminine Pathway. Take your time. Be good and gentle with yourself. Honor your sense of pacing. For example, don’t dive into using the Feminine Pathway every month in coordination with your menstruation cycle if it feels like too much—there is no need to rush or force anything. It’s true for every woman—these are Empowerments for you to use as you like—but I find it’s especially important for sexual trauma survivors to remember the value of pacing. Use these Empowerments in a way that feels natural, healing, and safe for you—don’t force yourself into a model or approach that does not work for you or feels stressful or overwhelming. There is no wrong way.

The thought or feeling of “I should be doing this another way” or “I’m not getting it right” can especially be issues for sexual trauma survivors in relation to their sex lives. Healing in relationship to sex is a very personal process that can be fraught and often requires professional counseling help. Frequently, sexual trauma survivors are caught up in a lot of “shoulds”—they think they should be having more sex, not having sex at all, or having a different kind of sex. They believe that no matter what, their sex life is “wrong,” tainted somehow by their sexual trauma. But there isn’t a “should”; it is whatever feels right for you at a particular time. This is really what owning your feminine power is about—owning your right to honor what feels good to you in a particular moment or phase of your life.

As you work out what’s right for you and continue on your healing journey, at some point the question may arise, “What would it mean for me to be healed?” There isn’t an absolute or correct answer to this, and you don’t necessarily have to come up with one. At some point in your journey, you will not need to focus so much on healing and will instead feel as if you are focusing on your life. Issues will still arise; there will still be pain, challenges, and good and bad days, but they will all no longer make you feel as though they are a reflection of your traumatic experience. Some may be, others won’t. Ultimately, you are no longer defined by it.

The Feminine Pathway may be of help for you as you make this transition … or it may not. By this point you may have found other Empowerments or even created your own. What’s most important is that you know you are capable of taking care of yourself; you know what you need. Trust that.

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