Emily Post’s The Etiquette Advantage in Business, Third Edition

When Alexander Graham Bell made his first call to his assistant in the next room, it was a business call. On March 10, 1876, he rang up his assistant, Thomas Watson, and said, “Mr. Watson, come here. I want to see you.” Not even a “please.”

For the next hundred-plus years, calls were made with telephones using landlines to connect them. As office phones proliferated, rules for their use evolved. And then in a relatively short few years, the cell phone and now the smartphone have become a critical component of modern business communication devices. While many of the rules for using an office phone apply to using a smartphone for work, those rules have had to be modified to address issues specific to wireless anywhere communications.

Almost all phone calls fall into one of two categories depending on whom you are calling: someone you know (a warm call) or someone you don’t know (a cold call often associated with prospecting for new business). Whether you are making a cold call or a warm one, you can take specific steps to make that call as successful as possible.

Before placing your call, prepare by writing down any questions you want to raise, along with the specific topics you want to cover. Even if an item seems minor, jot it down; it’s easy to forget something once the conversation starts rolling. Then place these notes by the phone so you can refer to them throughout the call. If your call involves facts and figures, gather together all data sheets or other reference materials you might need.

You’ll also want to keep a blank pad and pen handy so you can take notes during the conversation. In addition, be sure to have access to a calendar in case you need to discuss dates and times for meetings, projects, and deadlines.

No matter who answers your call—the person you’re trying to reach, a receptionist, an assistant, or your contact’s voice mail—identify yourself. Unless you’re calling someone with whom you regularly do business, identify your company, too: “This is Katherine Bowlin of Sellmore Marketing.” Give your full name even if you talk with the person fairly often, since he may not be as familiar with your voice as you think. Using your first and last names each time you call will also reinforce your name recognition.

Next, quickly explain why you’ve called and ask if this is a convenient time to talk. (Failing to ask this question is one of the most common of all telephone errors.) If she says talking now is fine, state the purpose and estimated length of the call: “Mrs. Peterson, I have a question about the marketing proposal. It should take about five minutes.” Be realistic: If you suspect five minutes is a conservative estimate, say so.

If the person you call says she’s busy, ask when you might call back. Try to avoid having her return the call for two reasons: (1) She may not do so, and (2) an unscheduled call may catch you at an awkward time or without your thoughts collected or your notes at hand.

If you reach a receptionist who transfers incoming calls or an assistant who takes calls for his boss, chances are you’ll be asked if you mind being put on hold. If pressed for time, tell the person answering that you’d prefer simply to leave a message—then leave your name, your company name, a brief reason for the call, and a time when you’ll call back.

It’s perfectly proper to hang up and call back later when you are placed on hold for longer than three minutes. Even though you’ve been treated badly, try not to show your annoyance when you finally connect. Politely say that you were unable to hold, and leave it at that: No explanation is required.

When you’ve dialed a wrong number, admit it and apologize. Don’t just hang up. Instead, simply deliver the line that has done service in the cause of good manners for generations: “I’m sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number.” Then give the person the number you were trying to reach, to make sure you don’t make the same mistake twice.

Never underestimate the importance of how you answer the phone. You never know when it may be the first call from a potential client or customer. Your attitude and demeanor, in turn, will form her initial impression of your company, and you want it to be positive, not poor. Here are three other considerations:

• An incoming call answered by an actual person instead of a machine not only makes a good impression, it also earns the caller’s gratitude by not putting her in electronic limbo.

• Your voice should sound pleasant and calm whenever you answer the phone, no matter how overworked, stressed, or rattled you feel at the time. Remember, you’re speaking for the company, not yourself.

• Whenever possible, answer the phone promptly—that is, by the third ring.

PHONE CALL FAUX PAS

The following are common telephone errors. Most apply to phone calls in general, not just those from the office.

• Don’t do other things at your desk while talking on the phone. Typing or shuffling papers can be overheard and suggests that your attention is elsewhere.

• Eating or chewing gum while on the phone is not only distracting but also subjects the other person to unpleasant smacks and crunches. Because sounds are magnified over the telephone, even a cough drop in the mouth can be heard.

• Don’t leave a radio playing or office equipment running. Background noise diminishes the quality of the sound for the listener.

• Don’t sneeze, blow your nose, or cough directly into the receiver. Either excuse yourself for a moment or turn your head away.

• If you have to put the receiver down during the conversation, do so gently to avoid startling your phone mate with a sudden bang.

• Don’t address a business associate by his or her first name in sentence after sentence: It sounds insincere and patronizing.

• Make arrangements before any meetings to have all calls channeled to voice mail or to an assistant’s or coworker’s phone; or if you have a Do Not Disturb button on your phone, use it.

• Just as you wouldn’t abruptly end a face-to-face encounter because another colleague walked into your office, don’t break off a face-to-face conversation to take a phone call. If you’re holding a meeting in your office and the phone rings, don’t answer unless you’re expecting a necessary call—in which case you should apologize to those present for the interruption.

• For practical reasons, some executives have assistants stay on the line for the entire call. Even if the conversation is about business and business only, the ethical thing to do is let the other party or parties know that your assistant will be listening and taking notes.

Answering with your full name is an absolute necessity whenever a call is coming from outside. Then what to say? Although “Helen Bonner speaking” is not impolite, “This is Helen Bonner” sounds less abrupt. Then follow with something on the order of “May I help you?” Of course, it is best to begin answering a call by saying hello or good morning or good afternoon. If you work in a company with several departments, state your department after your name: “This is Angela Dixon, Rights and Permissions.”

You’re terribly busy? If you don’t have an assistant to field incoming calls and a client or customer calls at an inconvenient time, give her precedence over any work you’re doing if at all possible. If this is impossible, explain your predicament and tell her you’ll phone back when it suits her. Agree on a time, and then keep your word. If you do have an assistant, ask her to take messages or route calls to your voice mail when you’re busy; or if your phone system allows, send your calls to voice mail.

STUCK IN TELEPHONE LIMBO

Thirty years ago, who could have dreamed that placing a call to a business or government department would be as frustrating as it is today? Just try finding a customer service number to call on the contact page of a company’s website. If you are even able to hunt down a number, you risk being put on hold indefinitely or hearing a recorded voice: “Press 1 for . . .” It can feel like someone slamming an electronic door on our simple desire to connect with a human being. We press and press again, our blood pressure rising, until we finally reach the desired person—recorded, as often as not, asking us to please leave a message.

But here’s the bottom line: Whether or not you’re ultimately successful in completing a call, any frustration must now be brushed aside. Smart businesspeople treat every communication, even those mediated by a recording device, with courtesy.

Whether you have an assistant or not, be familiar with the way your phone system operates so that you are adept at using the hold and transfer features.

If the person you’re talking with needs to be transferred to someone else in your company, first give the caller the correct extension in case she is disconnected. Then tell the person to whom the call is being transferred who is on the line and why she is calling; this spares callers from having to repeat themselves.

If not handled properly, the phrase “Hold, please” can turn a polite request into a rude experience. Receptionists, assistants, secretaries, and all others who field incoming calls need to be sympathetic to and respectful of the person on hold. Doing the following will help keep a caller’s frustration and annoyance to a minimum:

• Never tell someone to hold; ask them instead. More important still, wait for the answer. The question “May I please put you on hold?” is doubly irritating when immediately followed by silence or recorded music.

• Give the reason for the hold. “Ms. Tomkins is on another line,” for example. Or “She’s somewhere nearby; I’ll have to page her” or “I’ll have to check to see who can handle that.”

• When someone is holding, deliver a progress update every sixty seconds: “I thought she was almost done with her call, but she’s still on the line.” At the second or third check, ask whether the person would like to keep waiting or would rather leave a message.

Assistants also bear the burden of screening calls for their bosses and others. If every caller identified himself or herself correctly, there would be less of a need for a potentially awkward informational question—“I’m sorry, who is this?”—to identify the mystery caller. This is an area that can get touchy but is really a practical and understandable necessity. For example, a caller is asked his name and put on hold. Then, when he is told the desired person is unavailable, he may feel he has been deemed unimportant. Similarly, a caller who’s asked “May I ask what this call concerns?” or “Do you know if they are expecting your call?” might resent having an assistant determine whether his call is worth putting through. However, from the point of view of the gatekeeper, this is important information for trying to decide how to handle the call. If you are asked a question like this, it’s your obligation to answer. Even if the matter is a complicated one, the briefest summary—“It has to do with the new banana importing law”—should be satisfactory.

It is up to those whose calls are being screened to furnish their assistants with the language to be used and the criteria for putting a call through. It’s then the assistant’s job to use that language and apply that criteria.

CALLER ID

The positive about caller ID is it allows you to prepare for a call before answering it. The negative: Answering your phone and using the caller’s name at the outset may throw him or her off guard; you may come off as being sneaky—plus, the caller may not be the person identified on the screen.

A large number of businesspeople hide behind their voice mail. Don’t be one of them. If someone leaves a message asking you to call back, do so as soon as possible—or at least on the same day the call was received. Twenty-four hours is as long as a call can go unreturned without violating the standards of good manners.

If it’s an especially busy day and you suspect the call will take more time than you can spare, call the person back, explain the situation, and ask if you can set a time to talk later. Or if you have an assistant, ask him or her to call back and explain the delay, and then arrange a callback time that will be convenient for both parties.

When answering a phone shared by others, state the department name before giving your own: “Quality Control, Bill Fryer speaking.” If the call is for someone else, say “Just a moment, please” before handing over the receiver. If the person isn’t in, tell the caller when he’s expected back, if you know, and offer to take a message. Don’t volunteer gratuitous information about why someone’s not available. If the person is in a meeting or on vacation, say so. Otherwise, don’t feel you have to explain his whereabouts.

If you go in search of the person being called, tell the caller how long it will take: “If you can wait two minutes, I’ll try to find him.” If you haven’t located the person within the allotted time, return to the phone with your update. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t find him. If you give me your name and number, I’ll leave them on his desk.” An alternative is to ask if the caller wants to be routed to the person’s voice mail to leave the message himself.

THREE POINTS OF POLITENESS

As you mind the more obvious p’s and q’s of telephone manners, adopting the following three practices will help you make an even better impression:

1. HOLD BACK ON FIRST NAMES. If you haven’t met someone, don’t start a call using a first name. Unless she has started the talk with “Call me Rhonda. What can I do for you?” address her as Ms. Jones. An assumption from the outset that the two of you are on a first-name basis can be a mistake; to many people, especially those who are older, it is overly familiar and impolite.

2. GO EASY ON “YOU.” During the course of the call, be careful not to overuse the word you—especially when you have to address a problem with the person to whom you are speaking. “You forgot” or “You neglected to” can sound accusatory on the phone, even when said in a pleasant tone. Putting your comments in the form of a question is preferable: “Could you get that to me by Friday, please?” or “Did you complete the report on that project?”

3. LISTEN CAREFULLY. The impersonal nature of a phone call makes it easy for you to tune out, even when a business call requires your maximum attention. Listening closely is not only courteous but also ensures you won’t miss any details. Also be sure to let the caller know you’re listening by using verbal responses: “Yes, I understand,” “Of course,” and “I see.” (see “The Art of Listening”.)

Once you do get through to the person you’re calling, keep in mind that the impression you make depends entirely on your voice and choice of words, making it all the more important to sound professional and personable. Even when rushed, make an effort to speak slowly and distinctly. The way you hold the receiver matters as well: Tucking it under your chin or holding it below your mouth makes you harder to understand.

Follow cues from the person you’re speaking with to establish the call’s tone. If someone is all-business and no-nonsense, you should be, too. Others may be informal and chatty. Indulging someone who strays off the business subject may have the benefit of leading to the discovery of common interests or backgrounds, provided the tangent doesn’t distract you from the purpose of your call. People who’ve never met face-to-face sometimes click and establish a kind of rapport. The goodwill that results makes it all the easier for you to keep the business relationship running smoothly.

Being interrupted by a second call is less common than it once was, now that most office phone systems have voice mail, which automatically records a message from a second caller if you’re on the phone. If you have a voice mail system, ignore the call waiting signal. If your system has call waiting without voice mail, you don’t have much choice except to answer the incoming call. Apologize to the first caller and say you’ll return immediately; put him or her on hold and quickly explain to the other caller that you’ll have to call back.

When you switch to the incoming caller, try your best to keep a conversation from starting. Your responsibility is to the first caller, who should never be left on hold for more than thirty seconds. Even this brief period can seem like an eternity when a conversation that had been going full steam is interrupted. If the incoming call is extremely urgent, however, explain to your first caller why you must hang up and set the time you’ll call back.

When you have to put someone on hold for other reasons—retrieving data sheets from another office, for example—say how long you’ll be off the line. Then return when promised, even if you haven’t found what you’re looking for. If necessary, explain that you’ll need a few more minutes and will call back as soon as your search is successful.

When a coworker arrives at your office door and sees you are on the phone, he should have the courtesy to leave. If he hovers and becomes a distraction, stop the conversation at an opportune moment and say, “Will you excuse me for a moment? There’s someone at the door.” Then quickly determine why the other person is there, or mouth or signal, “I’ll see you later.”

When a disconnection occurs, it is the caller’s responsibility to call back. Apologize: “I’m sorry; we got disconnected. I think we left off with the annual report.” And move back to the business at hand. Do this even if the conversation was nearing an end; not calling back is like walking off in the middle of a face-to-face talk.

If you’re the one who was dropped, stay available for a few minutes. It is far better to be able to pick the business back up and conclude the call properly than to let it drop.

If a bad connection or static on an old landline makes it difficult to hear, don’t be embarrassed to ask the other person to hang up so that you can try again later. A second call often solves the problem and avoids the dangers of miscommunication due to a bad signal.

When you end a business call, don’t leave matters hanging. Wind things down with a conclusive statement: “I’ll get the final figures to you by noon Friday” or “I think we agree we need more research. Shall we talk again, maybe tomorrow?” Then sign off on a positive note with a polite acknowledgment: “Thank you for calling” or “It’s been nice talking with you.”

A few minutes spent discussing things that have nothing to do with the business at hand are perfectly in order after callers have established a friendly relationship. But don’t overdo it: Without any visual clues from the person with whom you are speaking, it’s hard to tell when you’re wearing out your welcome.

CHECKLIST FOR TAKING PHONE MESSAGES

When you take a telephone message, both the caller and the person you’re taking the message for will appreciate it if you do the following:

• GET THE NAME AND NUMBER RIGHT. Ask the caller for her complete name, and then ask for the spelling, since many names can be spelled more than one way—for example, Jean or Jeanne, Allen or Alan, Deborah or Debra, Anderson or Andersen. Also, read the phone number back to the caller to verify it.

• ASK THE NAME OF THE CALLER’S COMPANY. This may help the person for whom you’re taking the message identify the caller more easily. It also provides an idea of what the call may be about.

• NOTE THE DATE AND HOUR. Jot down the time the call came in so the person knows how long the message has been sitting there.

• ADD YOUR INITIALS OR NAME. Do this in case the person receiving the message wants to know more about the call.

• DELIVER YOUR MESSAGE. All your good efforts to write the information down will be wasted if you don’t make sure the message gets to the intended recipient.

Whether you use an answering machine in a home office or are connected to a voice mail service at your company, there are certain practicalities and civilities to keep in mind.

On your office phone, a no-nonsense, straightforward greeting is by far the best choice. Short and sweet is the goal—your full name, your company name, and a request that the caller leave a message: “This is Miguel Hernandez at Johnson-Cowles. Please leave your name and information.”

You may also want to change your greeting daily to give callers information about a change in your schedule: “On Tuesday, July 12, I’ll be out of the office until eleven o’clock, but I’ll be available for the rest of the day. If you leave a message, I’ll call you back as soon as possible.” You might also refer callers to someone who can deal with emergency situations: “If you need to speak with someone immediately, you can call Cassandra Ruiz at extension 7131.”

When you’re going away on a business trip or vacation, change your greeting before you depart. After identifying yourself, say “I’ll be out of the office until Monday, August 17. Please call back then.” You should also give the name and number of someone else in your department to contact if an issue needs to be discussed before you return. For safety and security, do not leave this message if you work from home. Instead, simply ask callers to leave their name and number.

When leaving a message, state your name and number slowly and clearly at the start of the message—after all, someone will be taking it down. Many people ramble on until they realize they’re about to be cut off, then recite their number so quickly that it’s often unintelligible. Also, keep your message short: Since most people have little tolerance for long messages, you risk getting passed over or deleted if you don’t get straight to the point. Worse still, long messages can overwhelm a voice mail system. Finally, repeat your name and number at the end of the message.

Return all calls left on your answering machine or voice mail within twenty-four hours whenever possible. Even though many people no longer listen to personal messages left on mobile phone voice mail before calling someone back, in business make this a practice when you don’t know what the call is about. Listening to your boss’s message before returning his call may save you both valuable time if he is just looking for a piece of information and has already left a message telling you what he needs. If you are the one leaving a message, reduce the potential for telephone tag by stating your business clearly as well as where you can be reached and when—and then make it a point to be available at that time.

The most important rule for using a speakerphone is this: Immediately tell the person on the other end of the line that you are using one. If he or she expresses any hesitation, explain why you are on speaker—because you’d like other people in the room to be included in the conversation, for instance, or because it makes it easier for you to take notes. Most people won’t mind as long as they’re asked beforehand and they understand the reason for it.

If others are present, identify them at the very start of the conversation: “There are three people from marketing here joining in—Leslie Marshall, Andy Armistead, and Kathy Kincannon.” The participants should then introduce themselves so that the person on the other end can begin to link voices to names—sometimes a difficult task, since sound quality isn’t always optimal. It is less confusing to the listener if each participant identifies himself when he speaks: “Tom, Andy here.” You can also make it clear who’s talking by saying, for example, “I agree with what Kathy just said” or “I see Leslie has a question for you.”

In an open work environment, it’s important to be mindful of coworkers when using a speakerphone. They will be annoyed, and rightly so, if they are subjected to the dial tone, the beeping of the dialing, and the ringing of the call before you bother to pick up the receiver.

The videophone call and online conference are an integral part of business communication, whether you use video calling such as Skype, iChat, Google Chat, or a web conferencing service like GoToMeeting. These services are widely used to connect remote workforces and organize meetings across great distances. However you feel personally about the ability of these tools to effectively replace in-person meetings, they are certainly one of the most sophisticated options for communication in the modern business world. Here are several points to keep in mind to get the most out of these technologies.

Before you begin, be sure that you have tested all of your systems and technical capabilities. This means more than just familiarizing yourself with software features and system requirements for a web conferencing service. Computers behave differently when they are connected to new monitors and sound systems. Each piece of equipment needs to be tested in the way it is going to be used before you can rely on it.

If you are setting up your equipment for the first time or are in a remote location, talk to someone who is familiar with the system ahead of time and show up early to troubleshoot any difficulties that may arise. Ask about connector cables, operating system compatibility, and backup systems should something go wrong. If you are working with a service provider, talk to a representative well ahead of time. Complete any trials or tests that he suggests and make contact with the provider’s help and support services so you have someone to call if you need them later on.

Give remote participants correct and detailed instructions for how they can participate. As the host, you might be working with people who may not be as familiar with the technology as you are. Do your part to keep the process as simple and clear as possible to make it easy on everyone.

To ensure a smooth videophone call or online conference, do the following before connecting with others:

• Use a private room or location. An office with a door that closes is best. This will reduce noise and distractions and decrease the likelihood of unplanned interruptions.

• Think about your background. This includes both the sound and the visual field. Minimize background noise and hums, and position yourself so that bright light from a window to the side or directly behind you doesn’t obscure your face.

• Many systems use an open microphone and speaker the same way as a conference call does. It is polite to identify everyone who can hear what is going on and, at the same time, to let them know that a live microphone and camera are recording and transmitting.

• In a home office, backgrounds that are clean, uncluttered, and not overly personalized keep the focus on the participants and the content of the call or meeting and look more professional. Barking pets, personal clutter, food, and beverages in the frame diminish a businesslike impression.

• Check that everything is working for all participants before you begin.

For people who are deaf or hard of hearing text telephones, also called teletypes (TTYs) or telecommunication devices for the deaf (TDDs), are in common use. These devices, which look like small typewriters, permit two people to communicate by typing back and forth in a conversational manner over a phone line.

If your office isn’t equipped with a TDD, you can still communicate with a hearing-impaired person by using a relay service. In this case, the hearing caller speaks to a mediator, who relays words to the recipient by typing them into a console; the words then appear in the display window of the recipient’s device.

If conversing with a hearing-impaired person over a TDD, address him directly, as if the mediator weren’t present. Do not say, “Tell him that . . .”or “Ask him to . . .”

ON THE TELEPHONE