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Sometimes all the shit hits all the fans at the same time.
The conference room was large ... and full ... and quiet. Dorothy, Rachel, and Dalton sat at the table, along with Boingy’s eight co-managers. In chairs along the walls sat Shirley alongside Boingy’s three other shadows, plus his department heads: Engineering, Marketing, Manufacturing, Finance, and People (Boingy didn’t allow the term Human Resources in his organization). A few top strategic analysts, including the Colonel. And three attorneys, including Joan Goldstein. Other heavy hitters, including Bodin, were linked in on a large video screen on the back wall.
Boingy summarized the summary chart. “So ... we’ve got the antigravity black market destroying many industries. The economic revolution negating the value of money and destroying capitalism. The telepathy revolution changing the nature of communications and what it means to be human. The chip hack revolution threatening the survival of civilization. The antigravity cloud’s new government petitioning the UN for recognition. The looming mass murder of the antigravity cloud, including everyone associated with this organization. A global population that will go ape-shit as soon as they learn any of this, which will happen any moment. And a massive propaganda campaign and counter-revolution by the most powerful people on the planet to turn that ape-shit against us.”
He paused for effect, surveying the silent room.
“One of my early mentors had a saying for situations like this. The saying was, ‘Of course you know, this means war.’ I’m open to other suggestions.”
The room stayed silent.
“Anybody?”
Rachel said, “There’s a defense from my chip hack for some chips. We can update the firmware to randomize the chip clock timing. That will throw off synchronization of any phased array. But that won’t work for all chips. It’ll crash a lot of chips. And it won’t work for any MAGEs, since they depend just as much as the hack on clock synchronization.”
Boingy said, “Good. It’s a start.”
Rachel went on, “The next short-term solution will be a smart antivirus program that can tell the difference between a chip hack and a valid MAGE program. Non-trivial. Extremely non-trivial.”
“We’ll get working on that right away,” said Boingy.
All was still.
“Anyone else?” Silence. “Especially, any alternatives to war?”
Shirley shifted in her seat. She leaned forward and hesitantly looked around. She opened her mouth once, and closed it, looked around again, and started to sit back.
Boingy smiled and said, “Yes, Shirley?” Everyone in the room turned to look at her.
Shirley looked back at him, like a deer in headlights and spotlights and interrogation lights, in the middle of a crowd of hunters.
“Uh ...”
“Yes,” said Boingy. “Please go on.”
“Sir, I was just thinking ...”
“Yes?”
“Sir, the powerful people who want to kill us ... can we make them a better offer?”
“Better than what?”
“Better than killing us.” A couple of people chuckled softly.
“What kind of offer did you have in mind?”
“Well ... I’d start by asking what they want.”
“I think,” said Boingy, “that they want their world back. The same world they owned lock, stock, and gun barrel, before we started dissolving their wealth and control. I don’t think we can give it to them. I’m not even sure we can stop them from taking it back.”
Shirley was hesitant, but said, “Is there anything we can offer them? No, better yet, is there anything they can offer us? That is, can we co-opt them?”
“An interesting question,” said Boingy. “They want to retain their power over the world. It is the nature of power to get people to do what you want them to do, even if ... especially if the people don’t want to do it. I’m not sure we can help them with that, or that they can help us.”
Shirley looked down at the floor in front of her.
Boingy said softly, “Good questions, Shirley. But they’re analytic questions. You’re looking for an answer using piecemeal analysis. That’s not your strength. Your strength is gestalt ... seeing the whole problem, the whole big picture ... and knowing the answer already.”
Shirley looked at him like she didn’t know what the heck he was talking about.
“Shirley, you’re focused on this problem. I’m giving you sixty seconds to tell me the solution.” He picked up his smartphone and said to it, “Start a sixty second timer. Callout every ten seconds.”
The phone said, “Timer started. Sixty seconds.”
Shirley’s eyes went into full panic mode. “No! Wait! At least three minutes!”
Boingy shook his head, “You already know the answer. Tell me what it is.”
The phone said, “Fifty seconds.”
Everyone in the room stared at Shirley. Not kindly or unkindly, or even pitying. Just wondering. Including Dalton, though he looked back and forth between Shirley and Boingy.
Shirley looked panicked at Dalton and held his gaze. The phone said, “Forty seconds.”
Shirley’s eyes calmed down. They looked thoughtful. The phone said, “Thirty seconds.”
Shirley’s eyes got an unfocused, faraway look, like she was viewing the Earth from the Moon.
The phone said, “Twenty seconds.”
Shirley said, “We have to follow the rules.”
Boingy touched his phone, stopping the timer. “What rules? There are rules for this?”
Shirley’s eyes were still focused a million miles away. “There are rules for everything.” Then she looked around the room, and at everyone in it. “Isn’t it obvious? That’s what civilization is.”
Boingy said, “What rules should we follow now?”
“The best rules of civilization.” She looked Boingy square in the eyes. “Law is the backbone of civilization. We go to the law. We go to the FBI. And to all the law enforcement agencies around the world. And all the lawful governments. And all the people. We are part of civilization. The antigravity crowd is part of civilization. The people who want to genocide them are not. We need civilization’s help.”
She paused a beat. “Oh ... and we warn the crowd. We do what’s right. That’s all. We follow the rules.”
The room was silent for a few seconds. Then Rachel said, “The chip hack might help us gather evidence to support our case.”
Dorothy said, “Same for the telepathy tech.”
Bodin said, “And telling the inside story of the counter-revolution.”
Joan Goldstein said, “I hate to be a stick in the mud, but laws and governments protect the existing civilization, not an emerging civilization that will replace them. It can be done: we have a common enemy. But it will be a hard sell.” She smiled a battlegranny smile. “Sounds like fun.”
Several people in the room nodded.
Dalton added, “And if all that fails, we leave the planet.”
Boingy thought for a bit. “I think you’re right. All of you. That’s a good place to start. What will actually happen, and what we’ll do when it happens, and where we’ll end up ... who knows? If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that no plan ever survives contact with reality. But doing the right thing is a good place to start. And I’m kicking myself for giving you, Shirley, way too much time. My generosity is out of control.”
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END