. . . . . . .
On his way up to the maternity floor, Carlos wondered if anyone else in his family had gotten to the hospital yet. Probably not, but Tia Eva and his mom must be right behind him. He’d talked to Angela in the car on the way there, but she was on her way from Santa Monica, so it could take her God only knew how long to get there.
He quickened his pace as he got closer to Jessie’s room. What if she wasn’t there? What if she was already in surgery and hadn’t had time to tell him? The room door was closed, and he knocked only once before opening it.
“Jessie!” She was on the bed, Jon sitting next to her and holding her hand.
“Thought you might be done with me already, huh?” she said. But she said it with a crack in her voice.
He made it to her bed in three steps so he could hug her.
“No, asshole, I thought you might already be in surgery, that’s all.” He stood back. “What’s the plan? How are you?”
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“The doctor said they’re going to do a C-section. Soon,” Jon said. He squeezed Jessie’s hand. “It’s going to be okay. They do these all the time here.”
Carlos took her other hand.
“They do, I promise. I work here, remember? Would I work at a place where I’d worry about my cousin having surgery? Hell no. You and the baby will be great. I promise.”
She nodded without opening her eyes.
“Thirty-four weeks is a pretty scary time to do this. My poor little girl. I thought I could hold on at least another month for her.”
Carlos put his finger under Jessie’s chin until she opened her eyes and looked at him.
“Jess. Jessica. Do not blame yourself. This isn’t your fault. You have done everything right. Everything. You came to the hospital today because you just wanted to double-check, even though you thought it was fine—that was you making all of the right decisions to keep your little girl as healthy as she can possibly be. Doing this C-section, even though it’s something you never wanted, is you making another choice for your little girl, okay? This hospital has a great NICU, and you’re in really good hands. I promise.”
She nodded as tears slid down her face.
“You’ll stay? Until she’s out? Until it’s all done?”
He gripped her hand.
“You’re going to have to send me away—that’s how long I’m going to stay.”
The door banged open, and his mother and aunt stormed into the room.
“Jessica!” He stood back to allow his aunt to throw her arms around Jessie. “Mommy will take care of everything.”
He and Jon locked eyes. He barely managed to not laugh out loud. Leave it to Tia Eva to give them some levity.
It was only about ten minutes later when the doctors came into the room to prep Jessie for the surgery and kicked everyone but Jon out. They all filed into the nearest waiting room. Thank God his mom was here to calm Tia Eva down. He put his arms around his mom for a minute. She hated hospitals.
“Anyone want anything while we wait?” he asked them. “I can go to the cafeteria to get us something to eat or drink.”
“Oh, I couldn’t eat anything!” Tia Eva said.
His mom smiled at him. They both knew she’d want something as soon as he left.
“I’m sure Tia won’t be able to eat anything, but why don’t you bring us back some coffee and maybe some cookies or something like that? We might be here for a while. Coffee might be good. Don’t you think, Carlos?”
“Great idea, Mama,” he said, and walked out of the waiting room before Tia Eva thought of something she might want.
On his way down in the elevator, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Shit, he’d forgotten to charge it last night, and now he was down to three percent battery. Did he still have that charger in his office? He hoped so, or else this was going to be a very long night.
He had texts from many of his family members, but he ignored them all and clicked on the text from Nik.
How’s Jessie? How are you?
He sighed. He wished he was back at his house with her, laughing and eating enchiladas. He could really use one of her hugs right now.
She’s about to have an emergency c-section. I got to talk to her for a little bit. She’s anxious and scared but powering through. I’m in the waiting room with my mom and aunt for the foreseeable future, just escaped to the cafeteria for drinks and snacks.
The elevator doors opened, and he walked into the cafeteria. All hospital cafeterias were terrible in their own ways. His, like many newer hospitals, had been trying to do a healthy food push, which meant that the food was no longer terrible junk food, but terrible healthy food.
Is Angie there yet? That’ll help, right?
He filled up three coffee cups, one with a ton of milk and sugar for his aunt and two others with decreasing amounts of both for his mom and himself. He found a stack of oatmeal raisin cookies and grabbed as many as he could carry. He texted Nik when he was in line to pay.
Not yet, she’s on her way from a meeting on the westside so it could be a while.
Oh shit, he needed to let Angie know about the C-section as soon as possible. But his battery was almost gone, and he did not want to tell her with his mom and aunt right there. He could run to his office right now, but Tia Eva was probably upstairs even more worried than he was. He needed to get back there. And he couldn’t text Angie about this from his almost dead phone—she’d freak out when she couldn’t get in touch with him.
Nik already knew what was going on. Could she call Angela?
No, he didn’t want that. He liked to keep his personal life and his family strictly separate. And plus, Angela would go crazy with the whole “girlfriend” thing then.
But this was an emergency, and he didn’t seem to have a better option.
Can I ask you a huge favor? Can you call my sister and let her know Jessie’s in surgery now for a c-section? Long story but she doesn’t know yet and my battery is almost out. I might have a charger somewhere, but I should let her know asap.
He stared at his phone until she texted him back. Luckily, there were a number of people ahead of him in line. Saturday early evenings were busy times in hospital cafeterias.
Of course, just text me her number.
He sent Angie’s number to Nik and walked back to the elevator balancing all of his beverages and food.
Nik checked the timer on her phone. Five more minutes before she needed to take the enchiladas out of the oven. She had a minute to call Angela before the timer went off.
The problem was that the thought of calling Angela freaked her out. Would his sister be mad about her having this news when actual family didn’t? Nik wouldn’t blame her if she did. Also, she had no idea what Carlos had told Angela about her, if anything. She knew that Carlos and his sister were really close, but she didn’t know if they talked about stuff like this. At the bar after the baseball game, Angela had seemed relaxed and funny, just like Carlos . . . but it could be a different story if she knew Nik was sleeping with her brother.
“Oh my God, just call her already,” she said out loud to Carlos’s sliding glass window. The window didn’t respond.
She cold-called people all the time—it was literally part of her job—and yet she was frozen with her finger over the phone.
She sighed and hit call. Maybe Angela wouldn’t pick up? Most people didn’t pick up calls from numbers they didn’t know. Maybe she could just leave Angela a message. She obviously wouldn’t call back, and then—
“Hello? Hello, this is Angela, who’s this? Is it the hospital?”
Nik cleared her throat.
“Hi, Angela. Um, no, not the hospital. This is Nik. We met at Dodger Stadium?”
Oh Lord, she was doing that uptalk thing that she always instructed younger women against doing. Come on, Nikole. Get it together.
“Oh. Hi, Nik. Uh . . .”
Right, she should get on with it.
“Carlos asked me to call you. He’s at the hospital and his battery is almost dead, but he knew you’d want an update.”
“Oh.” That was a weird “Oh,” right? Maybe. It sounded more like an “ooooh.” But she’d only met Angela once—that might just be how she talked. “Thanks for calling. What’s going on with Jessie?”
“Carlos said they just brought Jessie in to get an emergency C-section, and that your mom and your aunt are both there at the hospital with him.”
Angela let out a deep breath.
“Oh no. I know she was trying so hard to avoid a C-section. She must be so scared.”
Nik nodded as she stared through the window. One of Carlos’s neighbors, an older man with big glasses and a cane whom she’d seen a few times before, walked by and waved at her. She waved back.
“She talked to Carlos when they first told her it was a possibility, and I think she was pretty worried. I know Carlos got to the hospital in time to see her before the surgery, and I’m sure that helped.”
Nik’s timer went off, and she pushed buttons on her phone madly to make it stop making noise.
“What was that?” Angela asked.
“Oh, I’m at Carlos’s house. We were making enchiladas for Jessie when he got the call, so I stayed here to let them finish in the oven. That was just my timer.”
Why was she babbling? She could have just said that was her phone timer and let it alone.
“Oh.” That “Oh” had definitely been more . . . smug? Hmmm. “Okay. Is there anything else he said to tell me?”
Nik wedged the phone between her shoulder and ear and put oven mitts on. She didn’t need to burn her hands, too.
“That’s everything I know. I hope you get there soon, and I hope all goes well with your cousin.”
Nik opened the oven and carefully took out the trays of enchiladas.
“Thanks, Nik. And thanks for calling.”
“Bye, Angie.”
Oh shit. She’d slipped and called his sister Angie. That’s what Carlos always called her, and so that’s how Nik thought of her, but she’d very clearly introduced herself as Angela when they’d met.
Well, now his sister probably hated her.
Or maybe his sister barely gave her a second thought, since her mind was kind of occupied with her cousin undergoing emergency surgery at that exact moment? Yes, that was more likely. Way to make everything about yourself, Nikole.
She slid the remaining two trays of enchiladas into the oven. Cooking and agonizing over whether people were mad at her. This was definitely not how she usually spent Saturday nights.
She picked up her bag from where she’d dropped it by the door and brought it over to Carlos’s couch. Thank goodness she’d brought her laptop with her; at least she could get some work done while she waited to hear what was going on with Jessie and her baby.
She set her laptop on the coffee table, opened it, and instead of getting work done, mindlessly scrolled through her various social media news feeds for way too long. No, this wasn’t helpful. She stood up and walked back into the kitchen. Maybe she needed a snack. Oh God, yes, a snack sounded like a great idea. And Carlos had tortilla chips, how perfect. Something she could stress-eat for hours as she got more and more tense, just what she needed.
Shit, the enchiladas. She’d put the second round in the oven right after getting off the phone with Angela, but she hadn’t set her timer. Carlos had said twenty minutes, but she had no idea how long they’d already been in there. Five minutes, ten? She could check them, but she didn’t have a clue what enchiladas would look like after five minutes versus after ten versus after fifteen, so that would be no help. She set her timer for fifteen minutes and crossed her fingers.
You guys, I’m freaking out—I’m at Carlos’s house and he left in a rush because his cousin is going to have an emergency c-section, and I stayed here to babysit the enchiladas we were making her, and I may have ruined them. That was a slight overstatement, but that’s how it felt to her, okay? Now I’m sitting here waiting to hear any news and stress eating chips.
That reminded her. She got up and went to the fridge and got the jar of salsa.
It must have been an emergency, who the fuck would leave you in charge of food in the oven?
Thanks, Courtney. Always there with a kind word.
No, but seriously, of course you’re freaking out, that’s stressful. Do you know what’s going on? Do they need cupcakes? I’m just packing up the shop—we were open late tonight, I have some left over.
Ooh, cupcakes were a great idea. Not for Carlos, for herself.
I desperately want all of your cupcakes, but I feel like they strike the wrong note when no one knows what’s going to happen. Like, “here’s some cupcakes to celebrate this stressful emergency!” you know? He texted me after he got to the hospital and said they were bringing her in for surgery, but that’s all I know.
She wanted to text him again, but she had no idea if his phone had power yet. And even if it did, he was probably busy with his family; he probably didn’t want to hear from her. She reached for another chip just as Dana texted.
Oh no, Nik! Poor Carlos and his poor cousin. Do you need anything?
Did she need anything? Yes, lots of things: Carlos to be on the couch next to her; his cousin—who she’d never met, but felt a kinship to because of their shared love for serial killer books—to be okay; his cousin’s baby to be okay; his sister to not hate her for calling her Angie; to know what to do right now; cupcakes. Dana couldn’t get her any of those things, though.
No, I’m okay. I have my laptop here, I’ll be fine. Just worried, that’s all.
Both of her friends texted back in quick succession.
Okay, keep us posted. We’re here if you need anything!
Let me know if you need bourbon, or change your mind about cupcakes, or if you need anything else.
She spent the next thirty minutes trying to find something to occupy her mind: she finished cleaning the kitchen; she tried and failed to edit the story she’d been working on that day; she took the enchiladas out of the oven; she thought about snooping in his medicine cabinet—it was really the perfect opportunity to do some snooping when he wasn’t around to catch her—but she didn’t have the heart to do it. Everywhere she went, she kept her phone in her pocket, but he never texted.
She felt so helpless. She kept remembering that look on his face when he’d answered the phone and heard his cousin crying, and how when he’d gotten off the phone, he hadn’t said a word but had held on to her so tightly. She wanted to do something, anything, to fix this, to make him feel better, but there was nothing she could do.
Finally, she texted him out of sheer anxiety.
Any news? How are you doing?
He texted back right away. He must have found a charger.
Starving. Wish I had some of those enchiladas we made. No news yet but it should be soon—c-sections don’t take all that long. I might start freaking out if we don’t hear something soon, actually.
“Might” start freaking out—she was pretty sure he was already freaked out and just trying to keep it together.
Keep me posted, okay? If you have time.
She opened a cabinet door in the kitchen to grab the aluminum foil to cover the enchilada pans, and next to it, she saw a stack of paper plates and plastic cutlery.
Should she . . . ?
No, that was ridiculous.
But Carlos and his whole family were all at the hospital. And they were starving. And all the food was right there. And the hospital was only about fifteen minutes away. And this was the one thing she could do to help.
She wrapped a pan in aluminum foil and put it in a grocery bag, stacked the paper plates and plastic forks in another, and was in her car three minutes later.
The entire way to the hospital, she kept thinking about turning around. He probably didn’t want her there. If they were really hungry, they could probably get food from the cafeteria or something, couldn’t they? But she kept thinking about his last text and the look on his face when he’d hung up the phone and the sound of his cousin crying on the phone to him, so she kept going.
She parked in the hospital parking garage and carefully lifted the bag full of still warm enchiladas out of the back seat of her car. Then she stopped, put everything down, and put lipstick on before she picked it all back up again. She carried everything into the hospital and asked the way to the maternity ward.
“Are you family?” the woman at the front desk asked her.
“No . . . but a family friend,” she said. That was only sort of a lie, right? She lifted the bags she was carrying. “I’m bringing food to the family. She’s in an emergency C-section now, and the family is all in the waiting room.”
She really hoped the woman didn’t ask her Jessie’s last name, because she’d just realized she didn’t know it.
“Oh, that’s great. It’s the seventh floor. Go on up. Turn left. You won’t be able to miss the waiting room.”
She was right; she couldn’t miss it. She could hear them talking as she approached the waiting room. That must be a good sign. If anything bad had happened, they’d all be pretty quiet.
This was a terrible idea. Why hadn’t she texted Courtney and Dana when she’d thought of it? They would have told her it was a terrible idea. This is what happens when you don’t ask your friends for advice—you make stupid decisions.
She could still turn around and go back. Maybe she should still turn around and go back?
She straightened her shoulders and walked in.
“Nik!” Carlos stood up when he saw Nik walk through the door. What the hell was she doing there?
She had two big grocery bags in her hand and a very tentative smile on her face. He didn’t meet her eyes.
“I thought you guys might be hungry, so I brought some enchiladas over.”
Did she think that’s what he was asking for when he texted her that he wished he’d had some of the enchiladas? Because, wow, that had not been what he meant.
He tried to smile and took the bags from her. Now he had to introduce her to his mother. He hadn’t introduced a woman to his mother since he was in his early twenties.
“Mama, Tia Eva, this is my friend Nik. She was helping me make enchiladas for Jessie when I got Jessie’s call, so, um . . .” He looked down at the bags. “I hope you’re as hungry as I am.”
He opened the bags and set out the food, all without looking at Nik. His stomach rumbled when he unwrapped the tight aluminum foil from the baking pans.
“Nikole, did you say? It’s nice to meet you,” his mother said. Nik handed him the paper plates, and he dished up enchiladas for his mom.
“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Nik said.
“How do you and Carlos know each other?” Tia Eva asked her.
Oh shit. How were they supposed to answer this?
“Through me,” Angela said from behind them. “Thanks for bringing over the food, Nik!”
Thank God for Angela. And this had the benefit of even being sort of true. As Angie hugged Nik, she stared right at him. Her smile was very smug. Damn it.
“It was no problem at all,” Nik said. “But um, I should go, I don’t want to intrude, I know this is family time. I’ll just talk to you later and you can let me know how everything goes, okay?”
“Oh no, you can’t go now!” His mom picked up a paper plate. “You have to stay and eat enchiladas with us after making all that effort.” She scooped two enchiladas onto Nik’s plate and handed it to her without waiting for a response.
Nik glanced at Carlos and shrugged. He turned away to dish up his own plate. Maybe her feelings were hurt that he hadn’t been thrilled when she walked in, but it was her own fault for showing up without checking with him first. She went to sit on the other side of the room with her food.
Angela looked at him, at Nik sitting alone, and back at him with a glare. Fine. He made a plate for himself and sat down next to Nik. He wasn’t sure what to say to her, not with his mom and aunt right across the room and his sister . . . oh wow, his sister sat down right next to him.
“They could have been a little spicier, you know, Carlos,” his mom said. “What kinds of chilies did you use? You should have added hotter ones in there. You’re too used to cooking for,” she glanced in Nik’s direction, “your friends, not your family.”
He and Nik looked at each other for a split second with laughter in their eyes, and both immediately looked away. He could only imagine how long she’d have had to keep the sour cream on her face if he’d used hotter chilies.
“No, Mama—I usually make it spicier, but I toned down the spice in these because I was making them for Jessie for after the baby, and I know a lot of breastfeeding mothers like to avoid food that’s too spicy. It can upset the baby’s stomach.”
His aunt made a hand motion like she was batting the whole idea of what he’d said out of the room.
“Our babies don’t get their stomachs upset by spicy food. You’re listening to too many of those other doctors. I’m sure Jessie isn’t worried about that.”
Carlos knew there was no point in responding to that one.
“Where did you get the meat?” his aunt asked. “It’s good, but you probably paid too much for it, in one of those fancy grocery stories you go to over there.”
“I got it at El Rancho market, Tia Eva.”
Tia Eva took another bite and changed the subject. Carlos tried not to smile.
Soon, his mom and aunt were in a deep discussion about the woman who used to live across the street from them with her children.
“I’m sorry,” Nik said under her breath to him. “I wasn’t thinking. I was just worried about everything, but I shouldn’t have just shown up here. I’ll go as soon as I finish my food.”
He shrugged.
“Now that you’re here, you might as well stay for a little while.”
She scooped some enchilada onto her fork.
“Well, I don’t know what your mom and aunt were complaining about: these are the best enchiladas I’ve ever had.”
He grinned at her. It always thrilled him when she complimented his cooking; he couldn’t help it.
“I’m glad you liked them, especially after what they did to you. And I feel better, now that I got some food in me. I was so stressed before you got here—my blood pressure was probably sky-high.”
She looked at him sideways.
“Hmm, you know one way to find out how high your blood pressure is? Going to the doctor.”
Did she really need to bring that up right now? With his sister right there? He looked away.
She nudged him with her knee.
“I’m sorry. You left me such a perfect opening there, but I should have resisted. This isn’t the time for that. Forget I said anything and have another enchilada.”
He shook his head and smiled, despite himself. He nudged her with his knee back.
“I can’t stand you. Did you know that?”
She grinned at him. “I know.”
He touched her hand for a second. He couldn’t help it. Even though he hated that she’d come, he felt better with her here next to him. He sighed.
“Sorry if I seem on edge, I’m just so worried. I’m five minutes away from charging in there and waving my badge around and demanding answers.” He paused. “That might get me fired, but I’d probably get the answers first.”
She laughed.
“Yeah, maybe don’t do that. At least, not just yet.”
She took his empty plate and Angela’s and got up to toss them away. While she was gone, Angie leaned over to him.
“I knew it,” she said.
He didn’t have time to respond before Nik sat back down.
She sat closer to him this time, so close that her shoulder was touching his. Every part of him wanted to put his arm around her, but instead he moved his legs so he was touching hers. She smiled but didn’t look at him.
They sat like that in silence for a few minutes, until Angela leaned over.
“Carlos, I’m going crazy here. Is it supposed to take this long? Do you think something is wrong?”
He opened his mouth to answer, when Jon burst into the room.
“Everyone is okay!” he said, with a huge smile on his face.
The whole room was on their feet. Nik put her hand on his arm.
“Jessica? The baby?” Tia Eva asked, her voice wavering.
“Jessie is fine and the baby is, too!” he said. Tears started running down his face.
Oh thank God.
“When can we see them?” he asked Jon. “Everything’s fine? Really?”
Tia Eva was sobbing into Jon’s arms. He looked up from her and nodded at Carlos.
“Really. They’re both hooked up to a few machines, and the baby’s going to have to stay in the hospital for a week or so, they think, but the doctors say she’ll be all right. I’m not sure when you can see them, but sometime tonight. I’ve got to get back to them right away, but I wanted to tell you all the good news.”
Carlos’s hand somehow made its way into Nik’s. She squeezed hard, and he squeezed back.
“What’s her name?” His mom asked, just as Jon was about to leave the room. “Jessie said you hadn’t decided yet.”
He smiled.
“I think she wanted to be the one to tell you guys. I don’t want to spoil that for her. Just a little while longer.”
And before anyone else could ask him a question, he raced back down the hall.
Carlos pulled Nik and Angela together into a hug and buried his head in Nik’s shoulder.
“They’re going to be all right!” That was all he could say, over and over.
When he finally let them go, he realized his face was wet.
“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Nik said. “I don’t even like babies.”
He and Angela both laughed as the tears streamed from their eyes.
Carlos wiped his eyes with his sleeve, and then went over to hug his mom and his aunt.
After a few minutes, he came back to Nik. She’d found a box of tissues. She took a few and handed the box to Angela, who brought them over to their mom and aunt.
“Oh thank God,” he said. “I’m so relieved. I’m so happy.”
He gave her another enormous hug.
“I don’t even know Jessie,” she said. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
He grinned.
“You probably got some chili in your eye; don’t worry about it.”
She laughed between her tears.
“That must be it.” She pulled away and wiped her eyes again. “I should go now, though. I don’t want to be in the way. This is a family thing.”
Carlos shook his head.
“Oh no you don’t. You can’t leave now. Wait at least until we find out if we can see Jessie.”
Carlos sat back down and threw his arms around both Angela and Nik. Luckily, he was pretty sure his mom and aunt were too distracted by their discussion of what the baby name could be to notice.
Finally, Jon bounced back into the room.
“You can all see Jessie, but only for a few minutes, okay? The baby is in the NICU. I’m going back to her, but I’ll take you to Jessie first.”
“Jessica!” Tia Eva raced into the room and threw her arms around Jessie. “I was so worried. I love you so much.”
Well, that did it. The whole room was crying again. Including both him and Jon.
When it was his turn to give Jessie a hug, he pulled Nik along with him.
“This is Nik. She’s the one who recommended all of those creepy books I bought you that you loved. She dropped by to bring food for all of us while we were waiting, and I made her stay so she could meet you.”
Jessie was glowing, despite the tears still streaming down her face. She reached out to grab Nik’s hand.
“Nik, it’s so nice to meet you. Those books kept me from going crazy over the past five weeks, I can’t thank you enough.”
Nik smiled back at her.
“I was happy to help. And I’m so happy that everything went well today.”
Jessie beamed at her.
“Me too. We still have a bumpy road ahead. She’ll be in the NICU for a while, and I’m”—more tears spilled from her eyes, and Carlos put his hand on her shoulder—“worried, but the doctors seem very optimistic, so I’m going to be optimistic, too.”
“What is her NAME?” his mom said from the other side of the room.
Jessie smiled. He and Nik stepped back so everyone could see her.
“Her name.” Jessie looked at her mom and smiled. “Her name is Eva Jane. After her two grandmothers.”
Tia Eva charged the bed and would have tackled Jessie with her hug if Carlos hadn’t intervened.