THE WIND pushed my bangs back and dried my eye.
I wheeled my cart through packs of students, scanning them for Tom.
I wanted to run into him. He wasn’t going to stop and wave… or even acknowledge my existence. I didn’t need him to, though. That would be too risky for him. I just wanted to see him. Now that I knew his story and he knew mine, I felt close to him. We had a dark history in common—something none of these other guys at St. Augustine could relate to. They were like everyone else—the fortunate, the privileged—a class of people who, for no other reason than luck and circumstance, had been able to live and dream without a thought or care for my kind, except for fear that we might force them to endure the same terrible fate as ourselves.
Dodging a brick column by the side of the school, I navigated onto an arced concrete path that led around the school in a wave pattern, aesthetic but hardly functional for those like myself, who were just trying to reach their destination as quickly as possible. Between the crests, drying brown bushes reminded me that I had gardening responsibilities to tend to.
A haunting scent of garlic lingered in my nose. I’d picked it up after cleaning a soup spill in the kitchen. It teased me, convinced my body that I was about to eat, though my mind knew it was hours until I had another break.
My stomach churned.
As I made my way along the concrete path, I rearranged my bottles and rags, preparing for window duty.
A pleasant sight captured my attention.
A few yards away, resting on a brick wall at one of the crests in the path, Zack leaned back, his arms folded. His hair was locked in the same disheveled state it’d been in when I’d first met him. He wore a black jacket with tears and rips in the seams. It looked like something he’d picked up at a thrift store.
He looked like he’d just been sitting there, waiting for me, but he couldn’t have known that I was going to be out here. Or could he? Had he just been waiting for me all day? I kind of hoped that was the answer. The only people who ever waited for me were bosses eager to exact some sort of punishment for accidents and careless work.
As our gazes met, Zack smiled.
My anxiety from the day’s work—the anxiety that left my knuckles tense around the end of the cart and my jaw clenched like I was waiting for someone to pour rubbing alcohol on a fresh wound—dissolved. My thoughts about windows and the stress of my workday dissipated.
Like Tom, Zack made me feel less alone. Like there was someone I could actually talk to.
His smile faded into a frown, assuring me that he wasn’t here to exchange friendly greetings, which was disappointing. But what else could I have expected? I barely knew the guy.
I glanced around, making sure there weren’t any other faculty members around who could potentially rat on me to Wahrmer. No sign, but that didn’t mean I was completely in the clear. There was always the off chance that someone was watching through a window, as I’d learned various times throughout my life in academic labor.
But if someone was going to report me, so be it. I had to know what Zack wanted.
“Hey,” I said.
“How’s it going?”
A mist formed before his mouth as he spoke, swirling in the breeze before scattering through the air.
“Fine.”
Silence.
“I take it you didn’t come here just to say that.”
He shook his head. “Sorry. I feel bad about asking for your help.”
“Don’t,” I insisted. “I probably wouldn’t even be alive if it hadn’t been for you.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you’d be alive.”
“Um… I stabbed one of the guys.”
He smirked. “I bet you did, you feisty thing.” His eyes, filled with eagerness and excitement, shifted to suspicion. He scanned the path. “Is there somewhere more private we can go?”
I was glad he’d suggested it, because the longer we spent chatting by the school, the greater the odds were that someone would report us. I led him back to the pond. I perched on my rock and, out of habit, wrapped my arms around my legs. I’d figured Zack would start explaining why he’d come at some point during our walk, but he was quiet the whole time. Was it that secretive? Or was it something he didn’t want to talk about? I was curious, but Zack didn’t seem in a rush to let me know.
He walked along the shore, his eyes on two mallards as they drifted across the water just a few yards offshore. The sun glistened in the ripples they made as they dove for fish.
“Is this where you come to get away from all that bullshit?”
I nodded. His acknowledgment of how personal this space was to me made me feel as if he’d trespassed on it.
“It’s nice.” He smiled at me, then pulled his gaze to his feet, like he was ashamed. “Listen, I know we don’t know each other very well, but I’m kind of in a jam. One of my guys… he got shot the other night.”
“Shot?”
“Yeah. He was taking a grocery store.”
“Robbing,” I clarified. “You mean robbing.”
“Yeah, robbing.” He hesitated, seemingly grappling with my correction. “Getting supplies. Food and shit for some new curseds we’ve been housing. Ended up being an officer at the joint. He got away, but not without a good chest wound.”
He hesitated again. “Look, I know you don’t think highly about what I do. I don’t think it’s right. But what they’re doing isn’t right either.”
“No. It’s not. But you know what they say about two wrongs….”
“So, we should just be slaves?”
“I’m not saying that. And I don’t think what you’re doing is wrong. It’s not ideal. But I understand.”
He gazed at me. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, what he was trying to pick up from my expression. Maybe he was just noticing my deformity. Regardless of his reason, it made me uncomfortable, the same way Wahrmer made me uncomfortable when he was inspecting my work.
“What do you need from me?” I asked.
“The bullet. It’s a new kind of weapon against deviants. They pack it with an evolved form of Treponema pallidum.”
Am I supposed to know what that is?
“Syphilis,” he said. “This form is only transmittable intravenously. But it causes a painful, rapidly growing outbreak. Very painful. And it’s a shitty way to die. The UCIS’s goal with the bacteria is to use it as a method of torture for deviants. The excessive pain is designed to encourage us to turn ourselves in, so they can question us about other runaway deviants.”
“Oh my God. How the fuck am I supposed to help you with that?”
“It can be treated just like syphilis. Azithromycin, doxycycline, or tetracycline. A combination of—”
“Now you’re just saying words. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to help you. I don’t have access to these things.”
His eyebrow rose.
Ah.
“I’m assuming this is something a clinic might carry?” I intuited.
He nodded. “And these are incredibly common treatments for other things. I’m like one hundred percent sure that you’ll be able to find something we can use. But you don’t have to do it.”
“With all the druggie contacts you have, you can’t find anyone else who can help you out?”
I wanted to help, but it wasn’t like I could just walk into the clinic and get my hands… well, hand… on this stuff. That shit was locked down. And God knows I would’ve been carted off to jail if I got caught trying to steal it.
“The UCIS’s been on us for a while. They’re cracking down on Atlanta harder than Sedona.”
That was the big ring that Margerie, the woman I’d seen before her execution, had been a part of. If what Zack was saying was true, then his whole operation was in deep shit. The UCIS didn’t just come down hard on Sedona. They raided and arrested droves of curseds, most of which they executed. If that was about to happen in Atlanta, Zack was in trouble. Serious trouble.
“We’ve been talking about getting out. Some of our people have been scouting for a place we can exodus to. But, no. Right now, we’re lucky to find guys who can get us bread, let alone medical shit. And with this bust, no one’s gonna touch us because if we get caught, they get caught.”
“But I should help?”
I thought of being up on one of those stakes, having all those angry, savage people cursing and shouting at me. They wouldn’t just be disgusted by my status; they’d be mortified by my hideous appearance. I’d be a monster to them. The UCIS would’ve loved that. They wouldn’t have even needed to tag any crimes on me. People would’ve thought killing me was for the best… just to put me out of my misery.
“Never mind,” Zack said. “I’m sorry I asked.”
“No, I can.” As much as I didn’t want to end up on a stake, I wasn’t going to abandon him. Not after what he’d done for me. “I want to. I kinda need to hit you back.”
“No, you don’t. I didn’t do that so you’d owe me.”
“I know. I want to. And it’s something I can do.”
“If you think it’s too risky… or anything… just don’t, okay? We can find another way. I just had to ask, ’cause it seems like the most convenient way of getting it. He needs to be treated, fast. It takes, like, a week for that shit to spread like wildfire. You’re the last person I’d want to pull into all this. Guy with the state… steady work… something to lose.”
I chuckled at the thought. “I don’t have anything to lose,” I said, my words laced with more despair than I’d intended. At the same time, if the UCIS was involved, I had a lot to lose, including my life.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It wasn’t right of me to ask.”
“No, no,” I insisted. “It’s not a problem. I’ll do it. When do you need it by?”
“Tomorrow?” he said, his voice rising as if he was saying, “I know that’s highly unrealistic, but that would be awesome.”
“Tomorrow?” I exclaimed.
“It’s fucking eating him from the inside!”
Shit. That didn’t give me any time to make plans or find a way to trick Wahrmer. Should I do it? If I got caught, I was gonna lose my job. Hell, I’d probably end up in jail. But I didn’t think Zack would have come to me unless he really needed the help, and as he stood there, a desperate gleam in his eyes, I couldn’t help but submit.
“You got a list or something?”
“AND IF you guys have any more tissue paper, you need to send it this way. I’ve been buying my own boxes, because no one brings any, but I don’t want to keep on like that.”
Ms. Stoddard, a round woman with fat fingers and a pile of flesh that jiggled off her jaws, stood at the single bathroom, her hand on her rhino-hip.
She was the school’s RN.
I’d skipped my bathroom duty and gone to the clinic in hopes of catching Ms. Stoddard opening the combination-locked cabinet for one of the students’ meds. Unfortunately, no one seemed to need their prescriptions just now.
I could handle Ms. Stoddard’s long-winded complaining. It was something I had to put up with every Thursday when I normally cleaned this bathroom. But considering she was used to my cleaning, she was going to realize very quickly that I was going unnaturally slow.
I continued inching my rag around the sink.
Ms. Stoddard turned and stomped back to her desk.
“You’d think,” she said, “school would give a shit about us taking care of these people’s kids, but I guess not.”
“Retter?”
I whirled around, the rag dancing at my side as my hand trembled. My face had to have been bright red.
I need an excuse. What the fuck am I gonna say?
Wahrmer wobbled into the bathroom and got in my face.
“Retter, I’ve been looking for you for the past fifteen minutes. Some kids sacked the showers. Toilet paper, piss, and shit all over the walls.”
“Sorry,” I said, “I didn’t get a text.”
“I shouldn’t need to text.” He grabbed my collar and pushed me against the wall. “I should always know where you’re at. And you’re supposed to be in the bathrooms in the senior wing. What the fuck are you doing over here?”
His eyes were filled with suspicion.
“I… um….”
Oh no. As if I wasn’t suspicious enough, now I was delaying.
I’m dead.
The longer I didn’t reply, the narrower Wahrmer’s eyes became.
“I didn’t hit this bathroom real good, and I just wanted to come back and make sure I got it.”
“Now?”
“Yeah. I just didn’t have time to do them, and I thought I could—
“You nasty liar.”
Fuck.
“It’s your job to finish these things on the days they’re assigned. You don’t get to make your own fucking schedule here.”
He pushed his hand against my face so that the back of my head hit the brick wall behind me.
Ouch.
“You’re working two more hours for this. Now get on to the gym and clean up that shit.”
What was I going to do? I doubted I was going to be able to find another reasonable excuse to be here. Ms. Stoddard would know something was up.
“You here for your pills?” she asked Wahrmer.
“What the— Yeah, I’ll go ahead and take ’em. My nerves are fucking shot because of guys like this lazy ass.”
Ms. Stoddard slipped behind him.
This was my chance. I slipped past Wahrmer and snuck to my cart, which I’d conveniently placed right next to the cabinet… in hopes that an opportunity like this would arise.
“Retter, hurry your ass along!” Wahrmer fussed.
He stepped beside me, getting in my face again.
Shit. I repositioned myself so I could look at Wahrmer and kept Ms. Stoddard and the combination in my periphery. I didn’t want him to figure out what I was doing.
Thirteen. Twenty-seven. Was it four or five? One of those.
“Are you just gonna stand here all day?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. Sorry. Just leaving.”
I did as Wahrmer asked, tending to the foul and disgusting prank. As I cleaned, I plotted my next attempt at getting to the clinic. It’d have to be tonight. After Henry’s check, I’d wait another hour or so and sneak out.
I STARED at my phone. It was a little under an hour since Henry had come by, but I figured now was as good a time as any, and sitting in my cot was just driving me insane, so I snuck out of my room and headed across campus. I’d held on to my custodian keys throughout the day, granting me access to the clinic. We were supposed to hang them after the day, but the worst that would happen is that Wahrmer would write me up tomorrow when he noticed.
The only light came from a window at the very end of the hall, letting in the orange of streetlights.
It was just enough for me to see the lock as I jammed the key into the clinic door. I turned the handle, dashed in, and closed the door behind me.
I didn’t turn on the light. If Henry did come by, it’d draw too much attention. I was just going to use the light from the bathroom.
Kneeling, I fingered my way across a row of chairs along the wall. They created a direct path to the bathroom.
Fondling the far wall, I felt my way to the bathroom handle. I opened the door and turned on the light. I grabbed one of the chairs against the wall and set it in the doorway.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out Zack’s list and a white trash bag I’d lifted from my cart to collect the meds in.
I tried the two combinations on the medicine cabinet before it opened. Rifling through the pill bottles, I checked for matches and saying the funny-sounding scientific names on the bottles as I compared them with the names on Zack’s list.
“What the—?”
The fluorescent lights in the room flashed on.
Fuck.
Henry stood in the doorway, his eyes shifting between the pill bottles, me, and the trash bag I held. There was no way I could conjure up any sort of explanation that could possibly conceal what I was really doing.
“You’re dead!” he exclaimed.
He snatched my wrist, gripping hard with a surprisingly severe hold for a guy his age. He yanked me out of the clinic and dragged me through the dark hall.
“Henry, please!”
“Shut up, you lying thief. You know what this means.”
Yes, I did. Wahrmer was going to beat the shit out of me, and when he was done, he was going to get the police on the phone and get me carted off to jail.
My life was over.
Why’d I agreed to help Zack? He’d helped me out and all, but even he had told me not to do this if I was gonna get in trouble.
“Fucking rat thief. You kids all think you can go around taking whatever you want….” Henry assaulted me with a long-winded rant. It was more than I’d ever heard him speak since I’d arrived at the school.
Caught red-handed and being overwhelmed by any attempted contemplation of my fate, I resigned. I wasn’t going to fight. This was what happened when you got caught breaking the rules. And with my luck, I should’ve known that was what was going to happen.
A translucent piece of plastic slipped out of the top of Henry’s slack pocket. His gaze shot down, his hand quickly greeting it, shoving it back in.
There was something suspicious in that gaze, in the way he’d moved so quickly to keep whatever it was in his pants. I assessed his pocket bulge. It was pretty big. Unusually big.
Something occurred to me. What the fuck was Henry doing over by the clinic? Was that on his beat?
I didn’t have anything to lose. I was already in serious trouble, so snooping wasn’t going to hurt me any. I grabbed the tip of the plastic in his pocket and slipped out a clear bag. It was filled with pills—blue, white, yellow. They were various shapes and sizes.
Henry whipped around and smashed his fist into my face.
The punched knocked me to the floor.
I’d really underestimated his strength.
He stooped down, yanking the bag from my hand.
“Give me that!”
“Where did you get all those?”
Henry’s face went white as he tucked the bag back in his pocket.
“None of your business,” he said. He grabbed my wrist, pulled me back to my feet, and continued down the hall, dragging me along as he had before.
“You took those from the clinic,” I accused.
“You don’t know that.”
“That’s why you were over there. You’d already been in the clinic, hadn’t you?”
“As if anyone’ll believe you.” He chuckled.
“Well, I’m sure when we get to Wahrmer’s, he’ll be happy to take inventory.”
He stopped, tossing me a hard frown.
Is he gonna hit me again?
I didn’t care. This was my chance to keep from being found out.
“You’re a hypocrite,” I said. “You’re totally gonna turn me in when you’re doing the same fucking thing.”
“I’m not a fucking rat thief like you. I need these.”
“I don’t care what you have. You don’t need all of those.”
“Say whatever you want. I’ll just tell him I found them on you.”
“And I’ll just tell him to search your room,” I said.
Oh my God. Had I actually found a way out of getting in trouble?
He stared into my eye, rigid, stoic.
“I don’t believe,” I pressed, “for a second that those are the only ones you’ve ever taken.”
He released my wrist. Stood there for a minute. The look in his eyes led me to believe he was sifting through his options, deciding if he could find a way to turn me in without getting into trouble himself. Maybe there was, but I knew whatever his solution was would be far more complicated than just letting me go.
He growled. “Fair enough,” he said. His eyes met mine. They were nearly impossible to see in the shadow of his brow. “But don’t cross me, kid.”