Dawn’s sister Denisha picked her up from Galveston as they planned one week ago. The first thing Dawn inquired about was how her sons and her mother were doing, but Denisha wanted to fill her in on Henry’s bizarre behavior.
“I don’t care about him,” Dawn told her. The Ecstasy was still visible in the rear view mirror, and Dawn was getting adjusted to being on solid ground again. “Tell me about my boys. How’s Tim and Luther?”
“They’re fine,” Denisha said, a little perturbed by her sister’s prioritizing.
“They didn’t give Mama no trouble?”
Denisha shook her head. “No, they been good. They wanted to come with me to pick you up, but I told them ‘No.’ ”
“How come?”
“Cause it takes five hours to get down here,” Denisha said. “And another five on the way back. I can barely take them across town before they start whining about being in the car too long.”
Dawn grinned. “I miss ’em so much. I can’t wait to see them.”
“They can’t wait, either,” Denisha assured.
“How’s Mama?” Dawn asked. “She been feeling better?”
“She had a couple of bad days,” Denisha said. “I had to come over to cook for everybody. But she’s been okay, mostly.”
Dawn nodded. Their mother had a bad case of sugar diabetes, but everyone believed she would conquer the disorder. Dawn prayed for healing so much, she was sure there was a whole slew of angels working overtime to keep her mother healthy.
“What about them knuckleheads up the street?” Dawn asked. “Tim didn’t get into it with them while I was gone?”
“Who you talking about?”
“I don’t know they names,” Dawn said. “I know their mama works at the post office. They was messing with Tim and Luther a while back, throwing rocks and stuff. Tim got in a fight with one of them.”
“Oh, that’s Rodney,” Denisha said. “I didn’t know they was fighting. I guess they made up. Him and his brother was at Mama’s house yesterday.”
“For real?” Dawn chuckled. She always taught her boys to turn the other cheek, but she was never sure any of it got through.
“You shoulda seen the inside of that boat,” Dawn said with a smile. “It was like four mansions stacked on top of each other.”
“Yeah?” Denisha said.
“They had a casino,” Dawn recalled. “A bunch of swimming pools, a spa… The dining rooms looked like something out of a movie.” Her eyes twinkled. “The waiters all had tuxedos, and they had all of these forks and spoons spread out on the table. I didn’t know what to do with any of them, but I learned a little bit. The waiter helped, ’cause he would take away a couple of forks and spoons after every plate, so I knew those were the ones I was supposed to use with the appetizer. Can you believe it, D? We had three course meals. Lobsters, and veal… All kinds of desserts.”
“That’s tight.”
“Mexico was a trip,” Dawn went on. “We went to two different cities. I didn’t get a chance to see the first one that good ’cause we had an emergency, but I spent a lot of time in Cozumel. I finally went horseback riding! My friend Mona had this crazy stalker following her around. He tried to drown hisself in the ocean, and they made him stay in Mexico. It was crazy.”
Denisha nodded. “Sounds like it.”
“We met these Brazil–”
“I want to hear about your trip,” Denisha interrupted, “but why won’t you let me tell you about Henry? You acting like you trying to ignore me on purpose.”
“I am,” Dawn said, and the smile slipped from her face. “I know whatever he did was ignorant. And it don’t even matter—long as he ain’t messing with Mama or the boys.”
“He did come and talk to Mama,” Denisha said. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. He came by the house twice, and he called a bunch of times.”
Dawn sighed, and a lump of dread got stuck in her throat. She looked out of the window and then gradually back at her sister. “All right. Tell me.”
“The first time was on Monday,” Denisha reported, “the day after you left. I think he woulda came that same Sunday, but he knew I was gonna be there. He came early in the morning when I was at work, and he asked Mama if it was true you was gon’ be gone for a whole week.”
Dawn shook her head. In her mind’s eye she could see Henry stepping cautiously up her mother’s porch. Henry was intimidated by her mother, and he avoided her at all costs. If he bit the bullet and paid her visit, then he must have been seriously troubled by Dawn going on the cruise without him.
“What she tell him?”
“She told him it was true,” Denisha said. “And she told him she knew about how he grabbed your hair and pushed you down when you went to get your curling iron and stuff.”
Dawn’s eyes widened. “How she know that?”
“I told her,” Denisha said. She knew Dawn wouldn’t approve, but she was defiant. “It’s all out in the open now, Dawn. We not gon’ keep it a secret, hoping it’ll go away on its own. Everything that happens in the dark eventually comes to the light.”
Dawn knew that was true, but she didn’t like the idea of her mother knowing about the abuse. Mama had too much to worry about already with the bills and her diabetes.
“What Henry say?” Dawn asked.
“He said he was sorry,” Denisha reported. “He told her he never put his hands on you before, he was just mad ’cause you didn’t tell him until the last minute.”
“He said that?”
Denisha nodded. “He said it was just, like a reflex. He said he didn’t know why you was treating him like that. If you woulda told him you wanted to go, he wouldn’t have said nothing.”
Dawn’s nostrils flared. They were on the freeway now. The sun was still bright in the sky, but there were dark clouds on the horizon. Dawn knew they were heading into a storm.
“Mama told him he was wrong for handling you like that,” Denisha said. “She told him it ain’t never a good reason to put his hands on a woman. And Henry started crying, saying he was sorry.”
Dawn’s mouth fell open. “He cried?”
“Mama said he did,” Denisha said. “But he coulda been faking. You know Mama don’t never want to think somebody’s lying to her.”
Either way, Dawn couldn’t believe it. She never once saw Henry cry. Even when his father died from a stroke a year ago, Henry never shed a tear. He just looked mad, like he wanted to whoop the Grim Reaper’s ass or something.
“Anyway, Mama told him you was gone out of town, and y’all would have to talk about it when you got back. But I guess that fool didn’t believe her, ’cause he came back Tuesday night.”
Dawn frowned. “You was there?”
“No,” Denisha said. “Mama told me the next day. She said Henry was looking real sad—even worse than he did on Monday. Mama told him you wasn’t back yet, and you wouldn’t be back for a whole week, so it wasn’t no need for him to keep coming back every day.”
Dawn’s stomach cramped. “He didn’t come back no more.”
“No, but he called a couple of times,” Denisha said. “I talked to him Thursday, and I’m the one who told him to stop calling.”
Dawn swallowed hard. “What all did you say to him?”
“I told him it wasn’t no need in him calling no more because you was on vacation, and you wasn’t coming back until Saturday. I told him if he doesn’t believe you, that’s his problem, but he didn’t have no business stressing our mama, ’cause she already sick.”
Dawn’s tongue was bone dry. She put a hand to her mouth and chewed on her thumbnail.
“I told him he’d be lucky if you went back to him,” Denisha went on, “after the way he attacked you while I was standing right there.”
Dawn stared through the front windshield, watching the black clouds up ahead. They were heading into a storm, all right. From the looks of it, it was going to be a real nasty one.
“What, what he say?”
“He said he was sorry for grabbing you and for cussing at me like he did. He said he was gonna make everything better when you get back—but you bet not believe that shit. It don’t never get better with niggas like him. He scared now, so he’ll probably act good for a week. But after that it’s, like, Ding-Ding.” She motioned like she was ringing a bell. “Get ready to put your boxing gloves back on.”
“I know,” Dawn said. “You right.”
“Did you know Tim and Luther don’t like him?”
Denisha was just stating the facts, but with each word Dawn felt like she was being stabbed in the chest, intentionally and painstakingly, with rusty bayonets. “They told you that?”
“Tim did,” Denisha informed her. “He said Henry makes you cry, and he wants to beat Henry up, but he’s too little.”
Dawn’s eyes filled with tears. She sniffled and wiped them away before they could fall. “I didn’t, I didn’t know he felt like that.”
“You shouldn’t put them through that,” Denisha lectured, “living with some man they’re scared of. It ain’t right. You never know what could happen.”
Dawn nodded even though her sister was wrong; Dawn knew perfectly well what could happen. Tim may not have been big enough to fight Henry, but one day he would learn that weapons evened up the playing field. There was an assortment of butcher and steak knives in their kitchen at home. Tim was already tall enough to reach any one of them.
“It’s okay,” Dawn said. “I’m not going back home with Henry.”
“Really?” Denisha smiled for the first time since Dawn got in the car. “When you decide that?”
“On the cruise,” Dawn said. “Me and my friends were talking about stuff. They wanted to come with me to make sure Henry don’t try nothing stupid when I go get my stuff, but I told them I already had some people at home who can help me.”
“You do,” Denisha agreed. “You know I’ll go with you. We can take my boyfriend with us, and you know Byron don’t never get into nothing without his homeboys. We can take Uncle Elvin and pick up Kevin and them from the projects, too.” Denisha laughed. “Girl, we can go beat his ass! He gon’ wish he never put his hands on you.”
Dawn shook her head. “No. Not like that.”
“What you mean?”
“I’m not gonna take all those people over there,” Dawn said. “And I don’t want nobody beating on Henry.”
“Why not? He beat on you.”
“But I’m not him,” Dawn said. “I’m not like him. A fight ain’t gon’ do nothing but start more trouble. You know how niggas is. If they whoop him, Henry gon’ wanna get his revenge. And it’s gon’ keep going until somebody ends up in the hospital.”
“So what you wanna do then?” Denisha asked.
“I’m just gonna tell him I’m leaving,” Dawn said. “And we’ll see what happens after that.”
“You already know what’ll happen after that,” Denisha said. “He gon’ go upside yo head.”
“That would be the worst mistake he could make,” Dawn said. Her face was hard. Her eyes were cold like steel. “Henry stupid, but he ain’t that stupid.”
“What if he is?” Denisha ventured. “You got something ready if he do hit you?”
Dawn told her she did have something planned for that scenario, but she wouldn’t go into detail, no matter how hard Denisha pressed. They eventually dropped the subject altogether and discussed the adventures Dawn had on the cruise. Dawn was still excited about her trip, but she was a lot less animated now that Henry was on her mind.
Rain started to tap the roof of the car when they passed through Huntsville, and they were in the midst of an all-out thunderstorm by the time they reached Overbrook Meadows.
***
Dawn was physically and mentally exhausted when she pulled into her mother’s driveway and threw Denisha’s car into park. She and her sister switched seats midway through the drive home, but Dawn thought she got the worst end of the deal because of the rain. Denisha’s windshield wipers only worked half as good as they should, and one of her front tires had virtually no tread left on it.
But they made it safe and sound, so Dawn gave Jesus a big Thank you! as she ran from the car, shielding her head from the rain with a stack of newspapers Denisha had in the back seat.
Inside, Dawn’s mother was in the kitchen whipping up a batch of her world-famous butter rolls to go with her equally awesome tuna casserole. The house smelled like home and good home-style cooking, and that was better than any aroma Dawn encountered on the cruise.
Virginia’s face lit up when she saw Dawn, but there was also a stitch of pain in her eyes. Dawn couldn’t tell if her mother was feeling ill, or if there was something else weighing heavy on her soul.
“Hey, baby!” The older woman dropped her spatula and threw her arms out.
Dawn stepped into the embrace and clung to her mother. “Mama, I missed you!”
“How was your trip? Did you have a good time?”
“I did. I never had so much fun in my whole life.”
“That’s good, baby.”
The women backed away and watched each other at arms’ length. Dawn’s mother had a radiant smile, but it waned as she wiped her hands on her apron. She looked around indecisively.
“You know, Henry been by here looking for you.”
“I know,” Dawn said.
“How come you didn’t tell me he was putting his hands on you?” Virginia wanted to know.
“I’m sorry, Mama. I was…” Dawn trailed off because she heard loud footsteps running in their direction. Tim and Luther rushed in from the living room.
“Mama!”
They ran and threw their arms around her waist.
“We missed you!” Luther’s face was buried in Dawn’s side, and his words were muffled.
“I thought you wasn’t never coming back!” Tim said.
“I missed y’all, too,” Dawn said. She rubbed the top of Luther’s head and caressed the back of Tim’s neck. She kissed them both and squeezed them tighter. “I thought about y’all every day. Y’all been good for Grandma?”
“Yes,” Tim said.
“Are we gonna go home?” Luther asked. “I wanna stay here.”
His words were like a slap in the face, and the whole house fell silent. Dawn looked from her sister’s eyes to her mother’s. Neither of them spoke, but Dawn knew they felt her pain, and she had their unwavering support.
“I have to talk to your grandma about that,” Dawn told her son. “But first, why don’t y’all go get some of my bags out of Aunt Denisha’s car, and I’ll show you some pictures of my boat. Don’t try to get those big suitcases; they too heavy.”
The boys ran off obediently, and Dawn caught a shiver when they were gone, like someone walked on her grave. She looked at her mother, who had the same look in her eyes.
“Henry been calling, too,” Virginia said.
“I know,” Dawn said. “Denisha told me.”
“You going back to him?” her mother asked.
“Not if you let me stay here.”
“You don’t even have to ask that,” Virginia said. “This is one place you always welcome, baby. You’ll be safe here.”
Dawn smiled, but she knew her mother was only half right. She might be welcome in her childhood home, but safety was a bit more elusive. That was something Dawn had to attain on her own.
***
After they got all of her luggage in the house, Dawn went to the living room with her family and told them about her time on the Ecstasy. She left out all of the spicy stories about the men they grew fond of and the one crazy story about Mona’s stalker, but even without those juicy tidbits, her trip sounded like the best vacation ever. Everyone wanted to go on a cruise like hers, and Dawn was sure they could pull it off if they put back a few dollars a week for the next year or so.
When she was done reminiscing, dinner was ready. Dawn fixed plates for Tim and Luther, and then she slipped away to have a talk with their grandmother. They went to Virginia’s room, which hadn’t changed much since Dawn was a little girl.
The only thing missing was Dawn’s father, who spent most of his time on the king-size bed during the last few months of his life. Elijah Wright surrendered to emphysema two years after Dawn graduated from high school, and his absence was still felt in nearly every aspect of their family.
Virginia said she had no problem with Dawn moving back in. The new arrangement would put the boys in a different school zone, but it was summertime; they wouldn’t have to make the transition in the middle of a semester. And there were two unused bedrooms in Virginia’s house, so the move wouldn’t cause any cramped conditions for anyone.
Another plus was Dawn could spend more time with her mother. She’d be there to help out when Virginia had a bad health day or needed extra finances for the bills. Also the boys would be in an environment that was emotionally and physically safe. They wouldn’t have to witness their mother’s abuse anymore, and any mental scars they currently had could hopefully be healed.
The only drawback was the blow Dawn’s independence would take when she moved back in with her mama. Birds don’t come back to the nest after they’ve learned to fly and care for themselves in the real world. Dawn didn’t make enough money to buy or even rent her own home, and she couldn’t help but feel like a failure.
“Child, don’t even think like that,” Virginia told her. “This is just a hump you gotta get over. Just a little speed bump in your life. You don’t never fail until you stop trying.”
“I’m gonna do better,” Dawn promised. “I’m gonna get a good job and move into my own place.”
“You ain’t gotta convince me,” Virginia said, cradling her daughter’s hands comfortingly. “I ain’t never stopped believing in you, Dawn.”
The women sat on the side of the bed together. Dawn leaned over and gave her mom a hug. A knock at the door interrupted their tender moment.
“Come in,” Dawn said.
Denisha opened the door and peered in with a worried expression. “Henry on the phone,” she announced. “He wanna know if you made it back yet.”
Dawn felt a stab of tension in her chest, but she wasn’t as fretful as she was on the boat. She looked into her mother’s eyes and Virginia patted her knee and nodded.
“Tell him I’m on my way,” Dawn told her sister.
“You going over there?” Denisha asked.
“Yeah. In a minute,” Dawn said. “I wanna pray first.”
Denisha looked from Dawn to their mother. “Oh. Okay,” she said and slipped quietly out of the room.
Virginia got to her feet and left the bedroom also, so Dawn could have some private time with the Lord.
***
Thirty minutes later Dawn and her sister were in the car again, heading for a south side neighborhood known as Berry Hill. The rain was still coming down hard, and the thunder claps were like shotgun blasts in the sky.
Denisha was upset because she and Dawn were the only two people in her car. But Dawn was calm, filled with a peace that only the Holy Spirit can provide.
“This don’t make no sense,” Denisha complained. “You know he gon’ start some mess. He don’t care about me being with you. Look what he did last time I went with you; he didn’t give a damn.”
“It’ll be all right,” Dawn promised. She stared straight ahead, wondering how her life could go from two extremes so quickly: Just yesterday she was on the upper deck of a beautiful cruise ship, watching the sun fade into a pure blue ocean. Today she was in a raggedy car, avoiding potholes in the middle of a thunderstorm in Overbrook Meadows’ poorest neighborhood.
“No, it ain’t all right,” Denisha said. “What am I supposed to do if he starts hitting you? We need to go get my boyfriend. You said we was gon’ take Uncle Elvin and them with us.”
“We will,” Dawn said, “when we go get my stuff. But we don’t need them right now. I’m just going to talk. As a matter of fact, I don’t even want you to come in with me. I’m going in by myself.”
That was even more shocking. Denisha almost slammed her foot on the brake.
“What?”
“Calm down,” Dawn told her. “I prayed about it. It’s gonna be all right.”
“Look, I ain’t saying I don’t believe in God,” Denisha said, “but you tripping. You can’t run up in there hoping Jesus is gonna have your back. I’m finna go get Byron.”
Denisha tried to turn at the next intersection, but Dawn reached and put a hand on the steering wheel. Her face was the picture of serenity. Denisha didn’t understand how she could be so composed.
“Dawn, I’m not going along with this! This is…”
Denisha trailed off because Dawn pulled something out of her purse that made their uncle Elvin look like an invalid. The gun was black with a dark brown, wood grain handle. It was a revolver with a huge six-inch barrel. It was almost too big to fit in Dawn’s knockoff Coach bag. It looked powerful enough to stop a bull in full charge.
Thankfully Denisha was at a red light; she couldn’t move for a full five seconds.
“Where, where’d you get that?”
“Mama’s room.” Dawn spoke softly. She was still strangely serene, like they were discussing a nail file she found on the floor.
“Is that, is that Daddy’s?”
“He left it for Mama,” Dawn confirmed. “But she hates it. You know she wouldn’t never use it, even if a thief was kicking her door down.”
“She gave it to you?”
Dawn shook her head. “I was in there praying next to the bed, and God told me to look under the mattress. Mama don’t know I got it.”
“Guh-God told you?” Denisha wasn’t an all-out heathen, but she was an admitted skeptic.
“I don’t know how to describe it,” Dawn said. “I didn’t know what to do, but when I started praying, something told me to look under the mattress. As soon as I saw the gun, I knew it was Daddy’s. When I picked it up, a huge feeling of peace came over me, and I knew God wanted me to take it with me.”
“Are you, you gonna kill him?”
Dawn casually placed the gun back in her purse. “I’m gonna tell him I’m leaving, Denisha. Whatever happens after that is up to Henry. I don’t wanna hurt nobody. But I’m not gon’ let him hurt me, either.”
Denisha’s eyes were still wide, but a slight smile crept to her lips.
“You could kill him,” she said. “Everybody know he been hitting on you. If you say he attacked you again, everybody will believe you.”
“Are you talking about murder?” Dawn couldn’t believe she would suggest such a thing.
“Naw, I’m just saying…” Denisha backpedalled. “If you did have to shoot him, everybody would believe you. Won’t nothing happen to you.”
“I know that,” Dawn said. She folded her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. “I’m not worried about me. I hope it don’t come to that, but if he raise his hand to me again, that will be his last time. That’s why I want you to wait outside. I don’t want nothing provoking him.”
Denisha nodded, finally seeing things as her sister did. “All right, Dawn. If you going in there with that thang, I’ll wait outside. But if I hear some shooting, I’m running up in here.”
“If you hear some shooting,” Dawn said, “you ain’t got to worry about running. I promise, his soul will already be in the air by the time you get out the car.”
Denisha was stunned by her sister’s fierceness. Her smile quivered and then disappeared entirely.
Someone behind them honked their horn, and the girls looked up and saw that the light had turned green. It was only six o’clock, but the storm clouds blocked the sun completely, ushering in a premature darkness.
“Come on,” Dawn said. “Let’s get this over with.”