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As Christmas went, Helen had immensely enjoyed her day. After breakfast, where she’d talked and laughed with Elias once the maudlin discussions had ended, she’d walked the shore. Together, they’d combed the sand and pebbles for interesting bits of sea glass and shells. When they’d returned to the inn, he’d retrieved his jar and showed her his collection. She’d done the same, and they’d passed a couple of hours poring over the treasures at his usual table in the tavern room.
Guests came and went through the tavern, but none were demanding, and most were content to sit by the hearths and talk in small groups. Her father drifted in and out. It appeared he was mostly lucid, for he spied a couple of friends and settled in for a long overdue chat by the opposite fireplace. More likely than not, the older men would soon fall asleep in their chairs, and she didn’t wish to disturb them.
By and large, it was a memorable day, and when the hour for tea came upon them, she was shocked to realize she’d spent the bulk of the day in Elias’ company, but to her, it had seemed only like an hour or two. He was easy to talk with, and by the time she’d bustled over to his table with a tea tray and all its special accompaniments for the holiday, it felt as if she’d known the captain all her life.
“This looks quite lovely,” he said once she’d slipped into the chair opposite him. “It’s been too long since I enjoyed Christmas on land.” Indeed, his eyes reflected happiness as he filled his plate with scones, clotted cream, and spiced fruit preserves.
There were also tiny seed and honey cakes, a maple bun filled with flavorful cream, as well as Cornish pasties—Cook’s specialty only for this day—as well as a chicken liver tartlet with apple cider chutney, an onion bun stuffed with roasted pheasant, a delicate puffed sort of pastry with smoked salmon inside, and several other foods that one could only find during Christmastide. He added one of everything to his plate until it was piled high.
“Oh, our cook lives for the Christmastide holidays. It’s when her talents truly shine.” Helen poured a cup of tea and handed it to him, then she set about fixing one for herself. “Folks in these parts look forward to it all year, and if they’re fortunate enough to find themselves at the Brown Hart Inn around this time, they know they’ll dine like royalty.”
“It’s impressive to be sure.” His eyes twinkled as he took a sip of tea. “I’ll make certain to seek out Cook and pay her a lavish compliment or two.”
Helen giggled. “I’m sure she’d adore that. She and her kitchen maids are already half infatuated with you.”
“I can’t imagine why.” His expression sobered. “I’m not a man of much consequence.”
“You’re too modest.” Her hand shook, which sloshed the tea about. When she set the cup in the saucer, she said, “You’re possessed of pretty manners that extend to everyone beneath this roof, no matter their social standing. That’s what sets you apart from most men.”
“And what prompts the stares of annoyance from others,” he added in a low voice. “It seems some of the local males aren’t best pleased I’ve monopolized your time today.”
Helen uttered an unladylike snort. “They can all go hang, for it’s not as if they’ve ever paid me court as you’ve done.” She waved a hand in dismissal. Would he mind that her skin wasn’t as satiny smooth as ladies in London or that she retained callouses from working the tavern room despite the many products she slathered on her hands to soften them? “Those men hate you for what you are because they can never let themselves come up to the mark you’ve set. You’re a sailor, a man of the sea the same as them, yet you’ve managed to outshine them, show them up for their poor behavior.”
“Would you eventually choose one of them should you wish to marry?” he asked softly as he chose a honey cake from his plate.
“I shouldn’t think so.” She skimmed off a dollop of clotted cream from the top of her scone and licked the confection from her finger. “They’re either confirmed bachelors or make no apologies that their mistress is the sea. Some of them, sure, might be diamonds in the rough, but none of them have ever made my heart flutter from either deeds or a kiss.” He could take from that what he would, but she wouldn’t discuss a future with him unless he did so first.
For long moments, they ate in silence. Then he refreshed his teacup and offered the same to hers. When she nodded and Elias poured out, he said, “Your father mentioned you have an uncle who is a viscount.”
“Yes, on my mother’s side. When I was a young girl, we went for a visit, but I can’t remember anything about him.”
“You declined the opportunity to go live with him and perhaps attend a ton function or two by using his connection.” He met her gaze with questions and speculation in his eyes. “Why? If that is your birthright, however loosely, you should use it to your advantage.” He chuckled, and the sound sent tingles of awareness over her skin. “Even now you could have snagged a gentleman high on the instep and live in a grand townhouse.”
“Do shut up, Captain.” Helen rolled her eyes heavenward. “Such a life is not what I want for myself. And besides, I have my father to look after.”
“Don’t discount yourself. You deserve a life free of struggle and worry.”
“No matter how good a match I might have made, there will always be challenges. Peaks and valleys are what make up a life. No one can escape them.” What did he hope to gain with this line of questioning?
“That’s true enough, and I’ve witnessed much the same thing on my travels.” He popped another seed cake into his mouth. Once he’d chewed and swallowed, he spoke again. “Would you ever wish to see him again?”
“For what purpose? My life is here, and he lives far away.”
Elias shrugged, recalling her attention to the breadth of his shoulders and how well his tailored clothes fit his form. “He’s family, and there’s precious little of that to go around. You might wish for that connection. Take it from one who knows.”
“You have no family?” Here was an opportunity to discover more about him.
“None that I care to reclaim a relationship with.” A trace of bitterness filled his voice. His long fingers clenched around the delicate teacup.
Daring much, Helen touched his free hand with hers. “Will you tell me? Perhaps talking about it will make things clearer.”
“Or you’ll think poorly of me.” Though he grinned, the mirth didn’t banish the lingering sadness in his eyes. “My parents died when I was a lad of ten. It was by a horrific carriage accident in the rain. There was much I didn’t know about the incident, and no one bothered to tell me as I grew.” He twined his index finger with hers. “For the next several years, I was shuffled off to various relatives: aunts, uncles, distant cousins. Most of them were well older than my parents and as a collective they weren’t happy with having a youth underfoot.”
“Especially one with as many dreams as you had, I’ll wager,” she added in a soft voice. No wonder he’d gone to the sea when so many people had disappointed him on land.
“I was an only child, which meant I often had to entertain myself as a young boy. When my flights of fancy turned into full-fledged dreams of seeing the world, of making a difference, my family tried everything to disabuse me of those foolish notions.” He dropped his gaze to the detritus of the tea offerings. “I was beaten by the men; locked into my room or the cellars by some of the women. They took the bulk of my meager possessions and sold them off, claiming my upkeep would see them in the poor house.”
“Oh, Elias, I’m so sorry.” She could just imagine him as a youth, trying to find his place in a world who hadn’t been all that kind to him.
“It’s the way of things sometimes.” He shrugged, but he didn’t break their light connection of fingers. “By the time I turned fifteen, I couldn’t bear the life I was living, so I lied about my age and joined the navy.”
No wonder he was so kind to everyone he met, so patient with people, and why he found joy in the seemingly little things most folks would overlook. “You didn’t have happy Christmases in your childhood, did you?”
He sat back in his chair, and his hand slipped from hers. Immediately, she mourned the loss of his heat. “Rarely did we celebrate. There were a few times I was able to escape to a neighbor or a friend’s house, for life in the country was often different than that of London, but though the receptions were warm enough, I was always an outsider.”
“Eventually, though, you found the place where you felt you belonged?” A part of her longed to hear more of his stories, but the other part dreaded hearing him say he wanted to go back to a ship.
“I did. As I worked my way up through the ranks in the navy, I found a camaraderie, a family I hadn’t realized I needed.” He found her gaze, and this time, the sadness was banished. “By the time I captained my own vessel, I’d finally found my place in life, and it was largely due to the men I served with, the men I became responsible for.”
“But? It’s there, lurking in the backs of your eyes.”
“I eventually came to realize that as nice as belonging to life on the sea, there was no way I could put down roots and build that sort of strong, enduring connection I’d craved all my life.” Absently, he ran his fingertip around the rim of his teacup. “I’ve been searching for that ever since, I suppose, that overwhelming sense of connection—family—I’d missed since losing my parents.”
She lost a piece of her heart to him in that moment, for he was no different than anyone else. We’re all trying to find that place, that love, that reason for being. “Have you ever found it?” Every part of her strained to hear his answer. Please say it’s me.
“I believe so.” Then his expression shifted. Gone were the maudlin emotions from a moment before. In their place came mischief and anticipation while his inherent charm worked to release another horde of butterflies in her belly. “By the by, I have a gift for you.”
Pleasure curled through her chest. It had been an age since anyone had remembered her at Christmastide. Her father used to before his mind started playing tricks on him. “I have something for you as well. It’s not much, but I think you’ll have use of it.” Before he could protest, she pulled the folded bit of bright red wool from the empty chair beside her. “I... I began knitting the muffler from the moment I met you and figured the color would suit your complexion.”
“You made this yourself?”
“Yes.” When she held it out to him and their fingers brushed in passing, warmth danced up her arm. “The housekeeper taught me how to knit years ago. I sometimes work little projects to help pass the time and to quiet my thoughts.” She smiled as he unfurled the muffler and then threw it about his neck in a jaunty fashion. “You especially need it since you’ve used your other one on the tree. And at the very least, it will keep your neck warm if you decide to linger in Port Isaac.”
It was all too daring, that fishing for a hint of what his plans were, but she couldn’t help it. She’d only just found him and didn’t wish to lose him so soon.
“This is the best present I’ve ever received.” Nothing but honesty shone in his face. “To think that you created this out of naught but a ball of wool...” He drew the pads of his fingers along the length of the garment that hung down his chest. “That you thought of me while making this...” He met her gaze, and the admiration and gratitude there nearly made her cry. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the kind gesture.”
Had there ever been a more grateful, adorable man? “You’re welcome. Wear it in good health, Captain, and always remember this Christmas.”
“I will indeed.” Heavy meaning wove through the response, but she couldn’t puzzle out why. “Now let me give you my gift.” He delved a hand into his waistcoat pocket and brought forth a folded handkerchief. “I hope you like it.”
Helen frowned. “How mysterious.” As she peeled back the folds of the square of ivory linen, she caught her breath. “Oh, Elias, this is... Well, it’s too much.” An oval silver locket lay nestled within the folds of the fabric.
“Nonsense. It’s exactly right. I’d found this at a jeweler’s when I was in America during that last sea engagement. It was pretty and caught my eye, and I’ve had it in my possession all these years in the hopes I’d meet a woman suitable for such a bauble.” The earnestness in his expression, along with the gift, brought tears to her eyes. They soon overflowed onto her cheeks. “I thought that perhaps you could keep a lock of your father’s hair in there once he passes, so you won’t feel quite so alone.”
“I can’t think of a better gift than this.” Oh, the captain was such a dear man. He wasn’t afraid of her father’s blustering or lapses in memory. In fact, Elias had treated him with naught but respect since meeting him. “Thank you.” She traced the etched flowers and scrollwork with a fingertip as tears continued to blur her vision. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever owned.”
“I’m glad you like it.” He stood and easily took the locket from her hand. When he stood behind her, fit the chain around her neck, and then fumbled with the clasp, he put his lips to the shell of her ear. “And you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of spending a Christmas with.”
The heat of his breath on her cheek worked with his words to send flutters into her belly and frissons of need down her spine. “Such gammon you speak.” But never would she forget this day. As he reseated himself, she used the handkerchief to mop at her tears. It smelled like him, sage and citrus and evergreens, and oh it was lovely! Another piece of her heart flew into his keeping.
“During my childhood, I’d lost a bit of faith in humanity. Then the war happened, and upon seeing the horrors men committed against each other during that time, I lost the rest of it.” He drained the remainder of his teacup, and when he gently set the china into its saucer, he grinned. “Eventually I arrived in Cornwall, to marry a woman I’d been engaged to, the union arranged between her grandfather and myself.”
Helen gaped at him. The locket tumbled from her fingers to thud heavily against her chest. With her heart in her throat, she managed to ask, “Did you love her?”
“I thought I did, but it was merely the hope of such a thing.” Some of the joy faded from his expression and he shrugged. “Caroline threw me over for the man she truly loved nearly six months ago, so how could I protest? I would have been an ogre to demand she go through with our wedding.”
“You poor thing.” She touched his hand, craved that connection with him. “I’m sorry for your misfortune. I must wonder about the mental faculties of said lady for not seeing how good a man you truly are.”
Pleasure twinkled in his stormy eyes. “Thank you, but I’m glad it happened. We would have resented each other over the years, I think, and she was madly in love with her earl. I could do no less than back down and wish them every happiness.”
“You don’t regret that decision?”
“I do not.” A slow smile curved his sensual lips and drat if she didn’t want a kiss from him right this second.
“Do you wish to marry despite that heartbreak?” Perhaps it had affected him more deeply than he’d let on.
“I believe I do. It’s time to take up a new adventure, and one I’ve been contemplating heavily in the past few days.”
What did that mean? Too afraid to ask, Helen nodded. Conversation lapsed as they both sank into their own thoughts. Eventually, she returned to her duties in the tavern room and left Elias to play cards with some of the men, but he promised to share dinner with her later.
As she passed by the chair where her father sat, he caught her hand.
“Sit with me a moment, girl.”
A glance into his eyes showed he was lucid for the moment. “All right.” When she perched on the empty chair beside him, she peered into his face. “Did you need to speak with me?”
“I did.” He glanced across the room where Elias laughed and joked with his fellow card players. “You were with the captain a long time today.”
Heat infused her cheeks. “I enjoy being in his company.”
“From the looks of it, he’s quite enamored of you.”
She snorted. “I’m not so sure. He hasn’t said anything.”
“No, but he’s got that look.” Her father grinned, and it was almost like the old days when he’d sweep through the tavern room teasing her and the other girls. “Does Captain Frampton make you happy?”
Did he? She’d only known him for three days, but somehow, he’d burrowed beneath her skin, managed to find the most direct path to her heart and had set out to make it shine. “I’ve never been happier.” Helen touched the silver locket he’d given her. “Elias makes me feel like it’s Christmas every day. So much so that I’m excited to see him each morning, can’t wait to talk to him throughout the day.” She sighed as she held her father’s intense gaze. “He’s one of those souls that feels as if I’ve known him forever, as if I’ve waited for a man exactly like him to arrive at our inn.” A frown pulled at the corners of her mouth. She took her father’s gnarled hand in hers. “If he should ask me to marry him...”
He nodded. “By all means, chase that feeling, and absolutely accept him.” A forlorn sound escaped him, and his eyes took on a faraway look. “I had that with your mother, but I rather think I mucked it up more than I nurtured it. That time wasn’t nearly long enough, and I’d wished we hadn’t spent time arguing so much.” He patted her hand. “Don’t take love for granted, girl. It’s the greatest miracle you’ll ever find.”
“I won’t, Papa.” She leaned forward and bussed his wrinkled cheek. “Now to convince the captain marrying me is the next logical step.” And if she needed to help things along tonight, she would with no regrets or shame.
Because... I think I’m falling in love with him.