Brynn
Girlfriend.
That word seems to bounce over and over in my head. Who knew one word could shatter your heart so completely? This is what I get for letting my walls down.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I won’t be doing that. Thankfully, Lin and Kade are easy to find in the lobby of the Sunrise Inn, and I guess, they can tell something is wrong by the look on my face.
“Talk now,” I say, heading right back to the small porch between Lin’s room and the main back porch. It’s private enough we won’t be bothered, and most guests don’t even know it’s here.
I sit down and bring my legs up in front of my chest, wrapping my arms around them. I rest my chin on my knees and let them get settled.
“Spill it,” Lin says.
“Jasper has a girlfriend,” I tell them.
“Yeah, you,” Kade says, giving me an ‘aren’t you a little slow’ look.
I shake my head. “No, one from New York named Sherri.”
“What?” They both say, so I tell them about finding the beautiful blonde in the lobby, and her asking for her boyfriend, Jasper. Ending with, Jasper’s reaction, and finally, breaking free to come here.
Lin and Kade look at each other. I don’t even know what to say about all this. They seem to have a silent conversation. Married barely a week, and they have already mastered that.
“So, first off, you know as well as we do that girl isn’t his girlfriend. She sounds just like the girls who tried to use me for their fifteen minutes of fame, or the gold diggers that were always around.” Kade says.
“How would Jasper give her fifteen minutes of fame? And he doesn’t have any money worthy of a gold digger.” I tell him.
“No, but his family has a decent net worth, and she could have looked into him and saw an opportunity. The net worth of those restaurants has skyrocketed, since his dad opened them. With their location right on the water, I bet the property alone is worth a million each, easily.” Lin points out.
I just shake my head, trying to sort it all out. I know she’s right. Hell, the net worth on these Inns is pretty large, but that doesn’t mean we have the cash to back it up. I guess, it wouldn’t stop people from wanting their share. Add that to the reasons why it’s so hard to date.
“Did she leave?” Lin asks.
“I don’t know. I left them to talk the moment I could break from Jasper’s hold. I couldn’t take sitting there, watching the lovers’ fight going on.”
Kade is on his phone and looks angry. Part of me is hoping he’s giving Jasper a piece of his mind.
“You opened up, huh?” Lin says, watching me.
“Yeah, he took care of me last night. He didn’t leave my side, and I saw my Jasper. The one who always took care of me and put me first. I told him about why the storms upset me, and even talked about that day.” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I thought it meant something, but stupid me.”
“It did mean something. It meant everything.” Jasper says.
I look up and find him standing on the beach on the other side of the porch rail.
“That woman is a master manipulator. I quickly found out that almost everyone in my inner circle was. They all want to rise to the top through any means necessary, and they don’t care who they hurt along the way. I hated that life.” He says, making his way up the porch and sitting down beside me.
“Can I talk to her?” Jasper asks Lin and Kade.
“No,” I tell him and try to stand, but he uses this to pull me into his lap.
Lin and Kade exchange another look. “Yes, but I expect a full report.” Lin says to me, as they stand up.
“Traitors,” I say, but they just smile.
Kade wraps an arm around Lin’s waist and guides her back inside.
“I tried to date in New York. I thought I could just move on, and everything would be fine. Only I couldn’t. Every date reminded me of you. She would dress like you, order the same thing off the menu you would, or she’d say something you would, and instantly, I wanted you there. Then, the rest of the date I was comparing them to you. You would have done this, and you wouldn’t have done that.”
He stops and seems to stare off into the distance, and then, his arms tighten around me.
“Not one girl made me feel the way you did.” His eyes shoot to mine, and he reaches up, tucking some hair behind my ear. “Like you still do.”
His hand lightly traces down my cheek to my chin, and he runs his thumb over my bottom lip.
He sighs and drops his hand, as he wraps it back around me.
“Then, I just wanted to find a way to dull the pain of losing you. I wanted to forget; not that I could. So, that’s when Sherri entered the picture. It was just sex, and she knew that from the start.”
My whole body stiffens, and suddenly, I’m too close to Jasper. He was with that girl. She’s so much prettier than me, and she’s everything I’m not.
“Brynn, don’t let your mind run off. I shut down and became this emotionless jerk. I didn’t care about her, her needs, or anything. We didn’t talk; it was just sex and go. But every time? Every time in my head, I was with you. My favorite memory was prom night, and a close second was the weekend we spent in Wilmington right before I left. Those memories are what got me by. Then, Dad died, and I stopped it all. I haven’t been with her, since before he died. I shut everyone out.”
My head is telling me to be pissed and run, but in my heart, I’m reaching for him, because all these years, I was always with him, too. In my darkest hours, I’d reach for my favorite memories of us, and it would pull me through. I get it. Not that I will admit that to him, even now.
“Then, my mom called. She said needed me here, and the businesses needed me. But I realized, that I needed you. Even if you kept me at arm’s length, just being able to see and talk to you, is what I needed. The day you threw the kiwi at me was one of the best days of my life, Firefly.”
I try not to smile, but the memory of the first time he called me that, fills my head. It was the summer I was fourteen, and we had just gotten out of school. Lin, Jasper, Travis, and I were hanging out at The Sunrise, and we had heard of the rare synchronous fireflies up in Tennessee. We talked about them for weeks, and finally, mine and Lin’s parents packed the four of us up one night, and they took us to see them.
We were so excited to have Jasper and Travis with us, and I remember being mesmerized. How the fireflies would all light at the same time and seemed to do a dance. We learned they flash for mating, and I turned to Jasper and said, “It’s the most beautiful way to say I love you.” I had tears in my eyes.
“It is, isn’t it?” He said, wiping the tears. He kissed me right there in the middle of the dancing fireflies. Our first kiss. And the nickname, has followed me ever since.
Our first kiss wasn’t like a normal first kiss. I swear, our entire future ahead of us was in that kiss. I didn’t see this rocky path, but one thing Mom and Dad always said, is that in any relationship there’s good and bad, and you have to stick around and work through it to get to the good.
“I want no one but you, Firefly. From that first kiss, it’s always been you.” He whispers the same thoughts I was just having.
He moves ever so slowly, until his lips dance across mine, like he’s too scared to push me. So instead, I pull him to me, as I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. The moment I do his entire body relaxes, and his hands move up and down my back, to my hair, and down to my waist, like he can’t decide where to hold me.
“Don’t block me out, Brynn. Let me in, and let me show you how great we can be together.” He says, kissing that sensitive area on my neck.
I couldn’t form a complete sentence if I tried. All I can do is feel. Feel his warm breath on my neck. Feel his hands on me. Feel how hard he is for me.
That last one has me turning and straddling his lap. He pulls back just enough to look up at me, as hope fills his eyes. I take his face in my hands and kiss him, showing him with my actions what he means to me.
I’m desperate to get back the feeling we had this morning, the connection, and the peace. But as soon as I grind down on him, he stops me.
“Not here, Firefly, and not where anyone can see you.” He says.
“Let’s go back to my room,” I suggest.
He looks at me, studying my face, and for what, I’m not sure.
“Tell me you’re mine, and that you will give us a chance. Tell me you know I’m yours, and we can go to your room and get the relief you need.” He says.
I want him, but I need time to process it, too.
I sigh. “Make you a deal. We leave the day after tomorrow to go to the state capital and present our case on the Main Street issue. Come with us, and let’s take some time to be us, outside of this town. Then, when we get back, we can really talk, okay?”
“Yes, I’ll be there. But Brynn?” He raises one hand to the side of my face, and I can’t help but lean into him.
“Yeah?”
“You can take all the time you need. I want you to be sure, because I’m not going anywhere. Not ever again, okay?”
All I can do is nod. What do you say to that? Thank you seems woefully inadequate, so I just lean down and softly kiss him.