Tim Bresnan is the sort of player in the current era who I think would have fitted into my England dressing room without any problem at all. He is a burly bowling all-rounder who has cricket in his blood. You’d have to if you’d played the game professionally since the age of 16. He is now a mainstay of England’s three teams and it feels like he’s been around forever. He’s a big no-nonsense Yorkshire lad who bowls a heavy ball and I think some batsmen are surprised at how fast he can bowl it because he almost ambles in before letting it go. He can bat, too, and to my mind there is nothing better than a bloke who has just taken five wickets and then walks out and smashes the bowling all round the park. That is Bressie for you.
As a young player making my way through the junior teams at Yorkshire, all I ever wanted to do was make it into the first team at Headingley. Representing my county was what it was all about. I had grown up with stories about the great Yorkshire players of the past – Boycott, Illingworth, Close, Bairstow, Sidebottom to name a few – so when I realised I had a bit of ability and could bowl, it became my total focus. I didn’t really think I would play for the first team as quickly as I did, but I had no doubts that it was the place for me.
Going from the junior dressing room and into the senior side can be a bit daunting, especially when you looked around at some of the faces, men like Darren Gough, Craig White, Matthew Hoggard and Anthony McGrath – England internationals one and all.
Thankfully the Yorkshire dressing room was a good one, full of great characters and banter, which I loved even as a kid.
One of the things you hear about when you’re on the fringes of the first team is the ‘Yorkshire snipper’, and it has been going on for years. You’re told that the snipper exists, that no one knows who he is, but every now and then he’ll take a pair of scissors to someone’s clothes and leave them with half of what they had before. Socks are the favourite item, but nothing cuttable is safe.
During my first couple of seasons I was lucky enough not to be ‘snipped’ too many times; I just kept my head down and got on with playing the game. Others were less fortunate.
Our overseas player came from Australia, a premier batsman called Darren Lehmann, who was not only a brilliant cricketer but a top bloke as well. Everyone calls him ‘Boof’ for his obvious ability to hit a cricket ball. He was serious on the field and he could also at times be a bit serious off it too, so when he fell foul of the snipper he was not impressed. But he took it with good grace since it was part and parcel of the Yorkshire spirit and the dressing room – he just wasn’t quite sure why we did it.
The snipping would often happen when we had suffered a tough day in the field or needed a bit of a lift, and because of Darren’s reaction he was a good target. After one snipping, he really lost it and demanded to know who the snipper was, but no one came forward. He accused Anthony McGrath because he was laughing so much, but there was no joy there. After a spot of detective work, Boof heard that our fast bowler Steve Kirby was a likely suspect, and his suspicions grew even more the next time he was snipped. He decided to take matters into his own hands and pay him back.
Steve used to drive a black luxury car and was pretty pleased with it. One morning, Boof was being driven into the ground and was hanging out of the passenger window looking for Steve. He spotted him on the balcony, and at that point pulled out a car aerial and started cleaning his teeth as though it were a toothpick.
‘Recognise this, snipper?’ said Boof, looking pleased as punch with his new flossing tool.
‘What do you mean?’ replied Steve.
‘Don’t you recognise your car aerial, snipper? I picked it up this morning outside the hotel. Without the radio, it will give you a chance to think about what you’ve done,’ said Boof with a satisfied smile.
‘Dunno what you’re talking about, mate, my car’s been in the ground car park overnight!’
Boof’s face dropped as he realised what he’d done – stolen a random car aerial from somebody else’s car. Naturally the dressing room enjoyed the fact that our Aussie player had just done the sort of thing that would have seen him transported to Australia, not all that long ago.
If the owner of that car is reading this, Boof is very sorry and he is currently the coach of Australia!