You may think of respect as something you give to someone in a position of authority, like a teacher or boss. But respecting your husband simply means that even if you don’t agree with him, you still honor his decisions for his life. A respectful wife can listen to her husband talk without offering suggestions or helpful tips. And a woman who respects her husband will apologize when she’s disrespectful, just like she would apologize for being cranky or being late.
Respect means that you don’t dismiss, criticize, contradict, or try to teach your man how to do something better, because you trust him and expect the best outcome from him already. It means you don’t make fun of him for doing things the way a man does things, which is often completely different from the way a woman does things.
Prescription: Act as if you respect your husband—even if you don’t feel respectful, just the way you would act confident at an interview or giving a talk. It’s okay to fake it ‘til you make it.
A powerful way to quickly restore intimacy is to think of a specific situation where you criticized, insulted, contradicted, or belittled your husband and offer an apology. Use the phrase “I apologize for being disrespectful for…” and reference the specific situation.
If you find yourself wanting to teach your husband something or help him improve, consider using the phrase “Whatever you think” or just giving him the gift of feeling listened to by saying “I hear you” instead.
One big exception is when your husband is asking for your preference. If he wants to know your desires, tell him so he can make you happy. But remember to focus on the outcome and the experience you want to have rather than how he should do it.